Into the Wind_A Love Story

by Jaclyn M. Hawkes

  Once aboard the horse, her nerves seemed to increase, but she waited until she was mostly out of sight of the roundup before kicking up her mount to a gallop. It had been years since she’d ridden a running horse, and she was going to regret it in the morning, but she needed to know for herself that the girl was okay.

  In the ranch yard, she didn’t even tie her horse to the hitch rail, just leapt off and let the reins drag and ran up the porch steps. She wasn’t even to the door when she realized that her fears had been warranted. She could hear a woman’s scream and hear a man’s voice snarling, “I’m through playing nice, Brekka Toft. You’re coming with me and there won’t be anymore of this high and mighty . . .”

  Mertie opened the door without knocking and took in the scene at a glance. The man Luther had Brekka Lauritzen by the hair and was brutally dragging her through the Lauritzen’s kitchen toward the back door of the house, cursing and snarling vicious threats as he went. As they went past the kitchen table, Brekka’s swollen belly banged into the back of a chair, sending it flying and her tumbling off her feet.

  Unheeding her condition, or her screams to let her go, Luther simply hauled her back up by her hair and continued to drag her out the door. Their backs were to Mertie Mae and neither of them realized she was there. Rushing through the parlor to the kitchen, Mertie Mae had no idea what to do to help. Almost without thinking, she picked up a ten inch cast iron skillet sitting on the table and brought it down over Luther’s head with every ounce of strength she had.

  He crumpled to the floor instantly, taking Brekka with him and Mertie Mae knelt beside her, putting an arm under her shoulder and doing her best to lift Brekka and get her away from him. She was terrified he’d turn around and come after them both this time.

  Taking Brekka back into the parlor, she helped the trembling girl down onto the settee, noting that her face was bleeding and her dress torn in multiple places. Immediately, she turned back toward Luther, still worried he would turn on them. Looking around for something for a weapon, she realized the cast iron pan was still the best option and hurried back to pick it up, then hesitantly approached Luther. He hadn’t moved and hesitating even further, she reached under his chin to feel for a heart beat at his neck, still ready to spring away if need be.

  She felt no pulse and that scared her even more. What had she done? Had she killed the man? She felt the other side of his neck, and then both wrists. Nothing. She had killed the man. She felt herself whisper, “Dear heavens . . .”

  Hearing a sound behind her, she turned back to Brekka, who was cradling her belly and sobbing quietly on the settee. Seeing her bloodied face again, Mertie Mae shook her head and took a deep breath. She hadn’t had a choice. She’d done what had to be done. God willing, Sheriff Olsen would understand. So would the people in their ward.

  Moving to the settee, she asked, “Where are you hurt, sweetie?” She put her hand over the girl’s hand on her belly. “How is the baby? Did he hurt the baby?”

  Still crying, Brekka shook her head. “I don’t know. We fought. I got knocked around.”

  Mertie Mae began pulling up Brekka’s dress saying, “Pardon me, sweetheart, but let’s have a look. Can you feel the baby moving?”

  Brekka paused for a moment, considering, and then nodded her head up and down. Moving the dress aside, Mertie looked over the girl’s swollen belly and then put the dress back down. “There’s one mark that’s a little red, but that’s all. We’ll get you in to Doc Newell and he’ll make sure you’re all right. Where else are you hurt? Are you bleeding anywhere?”

  Just as Brekka was shaking her head, the front door creaked and both women whirled around in panic. Heidi came rushing in looking around, then rushed to the settee, saying, “What on earth? I saw the loose horse and the door ajar.” She looked at Luther’s body on the kitchen floor and her eyes got big. “Is he . . . Is he . . .”

  Mertie Mae Orland nodded and said dully, “Dead. It’s that Luther. He was . . . He was trying to make her leave with him. Dragging her by the hair and knocking her down. I didn’t know what else to do and hit him with the pan there. I didn’t mean to kill him.”

  Heidi gave Mertie Mae’s hand a squeeze and then kneeling in front of Brekka, she asked softly, “Are you All right, Brek? Is the baby okay?”

  Nodding, Brekka said, “I think we’re all right. The baby’s moving. I’m just . . .” She teared up again. “I’m so scared for the baby right now.”

  Heidi nodded, and then asked, “Brekka, where’s your little gun? The one I gave Lije to give you.”

  Brekka pointed to the drawer in a nearby table. “Luther surprised me. I never dreamed he’d come here like this today.”

  Going to the drawer, Heidi got the gun and handed it to Mertie Mae and asked, “Do you know how to use this?”

  Mertie nodded and Heidi turned back and took the rifle down from the rack on the wall. Walking to the door, she opened it and stepped out, firing three quick shots in succession. Then, she came back inside, bolted the door and put the rifle back into the rack. She went down the hall and got a sheet and came out and covered Luther with it, then bolted the back kitchen door.

  Finally, she came over and took Mertie Mae’s arm and urged her into the wooden rocker that sat next to the settee. When Mertie Mae was settled, Heidi patted her hand that still had black on it from tending the fire at the roundup, and said, “Mertie Mae, I don’t know why you came to visit Brekka today, but I have never been as grateful for anyone in my life. I’m so glad you are the kind of woman who isn’t hesitant to act. God bless you.”

  At that, Mertie Mae began to bawl. She set the derringer in her lap and covered her face with her hands and said, “It’s all my fault.”

  Brekka looked suddenly concerned and Heidi patted Mertie’s shoulder and asked in confusion, “How is it your fault, Mertie Mae?”

  Mertie Mae’s lips were trembling so much she could hardly speak. “He was in the mercantile. I didn’t know he was in the mercantile until after. He was there when I was getting the supplies for the roundup. He heard me talking to the clerk about how many men would be at the roundup. I didn’t see him until I walked past him. He looked at me. Seemed so evil. It got to eating at me. Made me worry something fierce. Finely, I had to come check on her for myself. I up and left the roundup. Run my horse the whole way. I was so worried.” For a moment she cried quietly and then added, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause this. I’m so sorry.”

  Brekka leaned forward on the settee and put a trembling arm around Mertie Mae’s shoulder and whispered, “Sister Orland, please don’t cry. Don’t you see? You saved me. You saved my baby. Without you . . . I don’t know what would have happened. Please don’t cry.”

  Mertie Mae nodded and closed her eyes. “But I killed a man. I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to make him stop. But I killed a man. I’m going to be in so much trouble.”

  Heidi came and knelt between the other two women and said, “Girls, I think we should pray. I think we desperately need the comforter, and we need to voice our gratitude that Mertie Mae came, and that Brekka and the baby are safe.”

  The other two nodded and Heidi began to pray exactly as she’d said she would. On finishing, she squeezed Mertie Mae’s hand again and then sat down next to Brekka and held hers. Leaning her head back against the settee, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes and said, “Lije is going to feel so guilty for leaving you. He’ll never forgive himself.” After a moment, Heidi opened her eyes back up and asked, “Mertie Mae, how did you know just from him being in the mercantile that Luther was evil and that he’d come here? How did you know?”

  Mertie Mae took a deep shuddering breath, memories filling her mind. Quietly, she said, “I knew by his look.” She paused for a long moment and continued. “I saw that same look on my father’s face just before he killed my mother. I was ten.”

  When Lije heard those three quick gunshots, his heart nearly exploded in his chest. He looked around him, seeing that se
veral of his hands were near and that they realized what it meant as well. Almost as one, they wheeled their horses and took off for Lije’s ranch. He knew instantly something had happened to Brekka. Why in the world had he left her alone just to move a couple of stupid cows!

  When he rushed into his house to find Brekka bloody and afraid, her dress torn and her eyes bright with tears, with Luther dead on his kitchen floor, he hated himself even more for leaving her. He would never forgive himself.

  Thank the good Lord for Sister Orland. At least she had listened to the prompting to save Brekka.

  Just now, Lije paced his parlor like a cave man. His father and brother sat on the settee watching him silently, while Doctor Newell was in the bedroom examining Brekka and the baby.

  The sheriff had come and gone. He’d walked all around the ranch house and yard, and questioned everyone in his investigation then he’d come back in and approached Mertie Mae Orland, who was still sitting in the rocking chair, sobbing intermittently. After clearing his throat, he’d said, “Sister Mertie Mae, Orland, I’m officially clearing you of any wrong doing in the death of Luther Olafson, and in fact, I wish I could give you a medal. If only more citizens were willing to stand up to evil like you, the world would be a better place. Thank you.”

  It had made her cry again, but it seemed to go a long way in comforting her. She had still been an emotional disaster over it all and Doctor Newell gave her something to help her not be so upset. Then Heidi went with her to get her home and settled in with her husband and girls. Lije truly hoped and prayed she’d be able to rest tonight. He knew he wouldn’t.

  When the doctor finally came out of Brekka’s room, Lije was unbelievably relieved when he finished packing his things and said, “I believe both Brekka and the baby are going to be all right, but I want Brekka to stay down in bed for a least a few days to make sure everything is okay.”

  At long last, when everyone left the house, Lije bolted the doors and hesitantly went in to see Brekka, his heart in his throat. What if Brekka couldn’t forgive him? He knew he didn’t deserve it.

  As he approached her, she gave him a tired smile and then stood up to come to him. Wrapping her in a grateful hug, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, holding her. She should be totally disgusted with him, but she wasn’t.

  He held her close and rubbed a hand down her back and said, “Doctor Newell said you were to stay down. What are you standing up for?”

  She leaned her forehead against him. “I need you to hug me, Lije. It’s been a long day. I need your comfort. I need your strength. I feel so safe in your arms.”

  At that, he pulled back and looked into her eyes. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry I left you, Brekka. I’m so sorry. I thought you’d be okay. Please forgive me.”

  She shook her head again and stepped back into his embrace with a tired sigh. “It happened, Lije. It wasn’t your fault, and I don’t blame you. I should have been okay. As awful as it is, these struggles are the price of civilization. It is the age old battle between good and evil. You know our Father in Heaven has given even evil men their agency.

  “You also know I couldn’t live with you or anyone else guarding me every second of every day. It would smother me. What happened happened, and it was horrible and my heart is tired and I’m terrified of nightmares, but I want to forget it now and try to rest. I’m going to try to think of the baby and of Hollyhock and her pure enthusiastic joy, and I’m going to try to rest, but I think I’m going to need you to hold me tonight.”

  He tenderly kissed her temple. “Gladly, sweetheart. I’ll be happy to hold you forever and ever. Lie down and I’ll put out the light.”

  Several minutes later, as he held her spooned against him, she asked tiredly, “Lije, do you think I’m going to go to hell for being relieved that Luther is dead?”

  He smiled at her sweet voice in the dark and answered, “No, love, I don’t think you’re going to hell for that.”

  Heidi Lauritzen left her father’s house and walked right up to the bunk house and knocked on the door, uncaring that her father would be horrified that she was doing it. Tonight, she didn’t even care.

  Josh answered wearing only jeans and in stocking feet and he looked so good shirtless that Heidi didn’t even care how disgusted her father would be about that either. When he saw her standing there, Josh grinned and asked, “What are you doing out at this time of night, Heidi Matilda?” He nodded behind him and added, “I’d invite you in, but some of the boys aren’t dressed and your father would kill all of us if I did anyway.”

  Heidi frowned, “He may do that regardless, knowing him.” She paused for a second, twisting her hands in front of her and then asked, “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

  Josh only studied her face for a long glance and then nodded. “Sure thing. Let me put on my boots.”

  Heidi looked at his muscled chest and took a deep breath and added, “You’d better put on a shirt, too, Josh.” He grinned and she continued, “It would be a pity for you to, uh, catch a chill.”

  When he came back out the door, she took his hand, which she’d never done before, but that was another thing she just didn’t care about tonight. In the first place, she was more than a bit afraid to have walked from her house to the bunkhouse alone in the dark after what had happened today, and secondly, she was probably about as much of an emotional disaster as Sister Orland had been today, and Josh was really the only one she felt she could lean on emotionally tonight. She’d been strong all day. For that matter, she’d been strong for years, but for once she wanted someone else to be strong and let her rest.

  Josh must have realized it because he just gave her hand a gentle squeeze and began to walk beside her. He didn’t even question when she wended her way right back home to the swing on her father’s front porch. It wasn’t like she was trying to sneak off into the dark with Josh. She just needed his quiet strength with her tonight.

  They sat down and began to rock. He put his arm along the back and she slid under it against him like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it was. She and Josh had been friends since he’d rescued her from one of her dad’s range bulls when she was thirteen and he was fifteen. She’d near worshipped him since then and she was pretty sure he adored her back. The only problem was that he worked for her father. They’d always been worried that if he found out they cared so much for each other then he’d fire Josh. Tonight, that didn’t seem like much of a threat.

  As if reading her thoughts, Josh whispered, “You know you’re likely to get me fired doing this. Right?”

  Still throwing caution to the wind, Heidi shrugged under his arm and said, “Let him fire you. If you leave, I’m going with you.”

  Josh stopped the swing and turned to look into her eyes. For a long moment, she only looked back but then she felt tears welling and leaned into him to hide them. He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. Putting his chin against her hair, he simply let her cry. Josh was wonderful that way. He loved her when she was happy and bubbly and cheerful, but he still loved her when she was quiet and sad. He just loved her. And she loved him.

  At length, she turned and leaned her back against him and he loosened his hold to a more casual hug and started the swing rocking again. After a few minutes, Josh softly asked, “Do you want to talk about it, Heid?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  But then after a minute or two added, “What’s there to talk about? An evil man beat up and tried to steal my very expecting sister-in-law. The same sister-in-law who was already accosted by that filthy renegade Percival and a savage Indian, just before she almost died. Then my neighbor, who I’ve always been just a bit disdainful of, saved her and killed the evil guy. Then the neighbor admits that she saw her father kill her mother when she was ten years old, which is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Then my brother blames himself for all of it. And now Brekka has to stay down in bed for who knows how long, and that savage Indian is stil
l out there, and her family is going to be here and find out about it all in a couple of weeks. What’s there to talk about in all that?”

  She started to cry again and turned her face back into his neck, then breathed in against his skin as he held her tightly. He gently rubbed the flat of his hand up and down her back to the rhythm of the swing.

  For a couple of minutes, there was only the soft sound of the swing and the warm emotion that arced between them, and then she asked, “Josh, do you ever wish it was time for Christ to come again? For the lamb to lay down with the lion and evil to cease and no one beats each other up or shoots anyone or anything?”

  She felt him nod and then his rich, deep voice said, “Yeah, Heidi, sometimes I do.”

  “Sometimes when my heart is so tired, I wish that.”

  He rocked for another couple of times and then he said, “You know what I wish more often than that?”

  “No. What?”

  “I wish I had the guts to kiss my boss’s beautiful daughter and just get fired and get it over with.”

  That made her smile in the dark and she teasingly asked, “You really wish that?”

  He nodded again and admitted, “Yeah, Heidi Matilda Lauritzen, I really wish that.”

  “Then why don’t you kiss me?”

  “Because I can’t afford to marry you yet.”

  She pulled out of his tight embrace and turned to lean against him casually again, feeling silly to be weepy and smiling at the same time. After another few rocks, she said, “I hate that name, Matilda.”

  His razor stubble caught in her hair as he nodded and said simply, “I know.”