When Least Expected

by Allison B Hanson

  Should he apologize for blowing off her text right away or work himself into it?

  She opened the door, and he was stunned.

  Her hair was up in the clip. She had flour and dough in her hair, as well as on her apron and shirt. She looked adorable, and he decided he wanted to kiss her right then and apologize later, but she was looking at him with a strange expression.

  Surprise and . . . guilt maybe?

  Guilt?

  She looked over her shoulder toward the kitchen, and he followed her gaze to see a man in their kitchen wearing an apron. He was also covered in flour and dough.

  Ian glanced back out to the driveway and realized it wasn’t her car. It was one like hers, but the wheels were different, and there was a hospital parking pass hanging from the mirror.

  What the hell?

  “Hi, Ian. What are you doing here?” she asked. The look of guilt was slowly being replaced by defiance as she crossed her arms impassively.

  What was he doing here? It was his house and she was his wife. What was this asshole doing there in their kitchen helping her make ravioli? That was his fucking job.

  Thankfully, he didn’t actually say any of that. He was at least that smart. Though how he had let this happen proved he was an idiot, at least on some level.

  When she turned to introduce them, he saw flour down her back and a hand print on her ass. He wanted to rip the guy into tiny pieces.

  “Ian, this is Jeremy. Jeremy, this is Ian.”

  “Hi, Ian!” The peckerhead gave Ian a wave and held up his messy hands as an excuse for why he couldn’t shake his hand. The guy smiled at Ian like he didn’t have a care in the world that Ian was there.

  He must feel secure.

  How had Ian let this happen?

  He swallowed and held out the painting.

  “I got this back and thought I’d drop it off.”

  “Oh. Thanks. How much do I owe you?” she asked.

  “Nothing, Lex. It was partly my fault it fell. I’m the one who dropped you.” And then had sex with you multiple times. Had she forgotten about that?

  “Well, I appreciate you bringing it over,” she said, as if to dismiss him.

  Instead, he walked into the kitchen to look at the mess.

  “Ravioli?” Ian said, though it was quite obvious that was what they were making. Well, that and letting this asshole paw her.

  “Yeah.” Lexi seemed uncomfortable. That made two of them.

  “She made it sound like an easy way to get free food,” Peckerhead commented with an easy smile. “I think I’ve been tricked.”

  God, Ian hated this guy. Was this what it felt like for Lexi to see him with Meeghan? It was horrible. How had he done this to her and not realized it was worse than swallowing shards of broken glass and then drinking rubbing alcohol?

  “Your efforts will be rewarded,” she told him with a smile. Why the hell was she smiling at this guy? Then she turned to Ian. “Oh, some mail came for you the other day. It’s just alumni stuff. Hold on, I’ll get it.” She flitted off to the study while he stood there watching the handprint.

  He turned to face peckerhead.

  “What do you do?” Ian asked. Just being conversational.

  He held up a knife. “Surgeon.”

  Crap. He wasn’t a loser.

  “Alexis says you’re a computer programmer?” Alexis? Nobody called her by her real name. Did this guy think he was special?

  “Yeah,” Ian answered the question while clenching his fingers into fists.

  “So you get to work from home?”

  “Yes.”

  “Sweet gig.” Ian wanted to beat the piss out of Jeremy. It should be his handprint on her ass. It should be him wearing the apron and helping with the ravioli. “You okay?” Jeremy asked, noticing his hands still clenched into fists.

  “I’m not sure.” His throat was so dry.

  Jeremy’s eyes widened in surprise.

  “Oh. Is this the first time—oh. Sorry, man.” He sounded genuinely compassionate, and that just made Ian hate him more.

  “Here it is. I would have mailed it to you, but they’re just asking for money so I didn’t think you would be in a hurry to get it,” Lexi said as she walked back into the kitchen with two envelopes, holding them out to him.

  Ian had to focus on the task of opening his fingers and taking the mail from her.

  “Thanks. I need to get going. I have someone waiting.” He had no one waiting. Was he trying to make her jealous? What was he? Twelve?

  “Did you want to take some ravioli? We have plenty,” she offered as peckerhead tilted his head. He didn’t seem so secure now. Good.

  “Sausage?” Ian asked with a grin.

  She winced. “We didn’t make those.”

  “I’ll take plain cheese.”

  She seemed happy he agreed to take some, and that seemed to throw peckerhead off his game.

  Ian smiled smugly as she got a plastic container and threw in a few servings. But the smugness faded as he realized he was going to need to leave now, and this guy was going to get to stay with her. Maybe even all night. He tried to swallow and was having difficulty.

  She walked him out to the driveway.

  “Thanks again for getting the painting fixed,” she said. She wasn’t angry or sad or anything. She was nothing. As if his being there was nothing. He was nothing.

  “I don’t like that guy,” he said as soon as they were alone.

  “Well, it’s a good thing you’re not dating him, then.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t text you back,” he said what he had planned to say. Finally.

  “I shouldn’t have bothered you in the first place.” Her words cut him like a knife as she turned with a wave and went back into the house to the surgeon.

  Of course Ian knew this was all his fault, and he knew how hypocritical he was being. He should be happy for her. She was moving on, and she’d found someone who was probably a nice guy. That’s what he had wanted for her all along.

  He had no right being angry or hurt. But as he drove home, that was exactly how he felt.

  “Sorry about that,” Lex said as she walked back into the kitchen. Ian’s interruption had totally killed the mood.

  “No problem,” Jeremy said as he kept working. She went to stand next to him to help. “So how long have you guys been divorced again?” he asked, though she had already told him.

  “Almost seven months.”

  “And in those seven months you haven’t dated anyone?” he guessed.

  “I did.”

  “How many times?”

  “Counting you?”

  “No. Not counting me.”

  “Twice.”

  “Oh.” He nodded slowly.

  “What does oh mean?” It sounded bad.

  “You’re still rebounding.”

  “No. I’m not,” she said.

  “You offered him our ravioli.” He pointed at the mess on the counter.

  “I was being polite,” she defended herself.

  “Okay, then. You were being polite,” he corrected himself, as if that was another point all on its own. “Divorced people aren’t polite to each other. They say snide little passive-aggressive things to piss each other off.”

  “I’m sorry I’m not passive-aggressive enough for you,” she spat.

  “And now you’re mad at me?” he said incredulously.

  “Apparently!” she fumed. Why was she mad at him? Because he’d made her see the truth?

  “Fine. I’m going to go before we get carried away and say something we’ll regret.”

  Great! He was one of the reasonable guys. Ian had always been reasonable, too. Look how far reasonable got her. She took a breath to calm down. She knew she was acting crazy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you away, too,” she said as she covered her face.

  “Too?” He picked up on the key word.

  She shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about it. “At least let me pack you up s
ome of this,” she offered.

  “Just make sure I get more than he did.” Lexi looked up at him to see he was joking. At least she was pretty sure he was joking.

  She gave Jeremy twice as much as she had given Ian and he smiled at her as she handed it to him.

  “I hope I didn’t ruin our lovely evening.” He looked remorseful. “I honestly haven’t had this much fun in . . . I can’t remember how long.”

  “You’re probably right about Ian and me being overly friendly. My friends say the same thing. I don’t know why . . . I feel like I owe him.” She felt more than that, but it was the easiest thing to say.

  “Why would you feel that way?” he asked.

  She sighed. Surely she shouldn’t tell him this. But she needed to say it to someone. “Because he invested so much time in me and then I couldn’t give him a family. I feel like I let him down.” The old feelings of failure and sadness surrounded her.

  Jeremy took in a quick breath and wrapped his arms around her tightly. It felt so nice. Having someone care.

  “Sweetie, I don’t know him, but I guarantee you he doesn’t feel that way. I bet he feels lucky for every second he got to spend with you.”

  “Oh, good.” She laughed. “My rebound guy is delusional,” she teased him, wanting to change the subject in the worst way.

  “It’s getting late,” he said. “Thank you for inviting me over. Can we get together the next time I have some free time?”

  “Sure. Give me a call. This will be easier in a few weeks, when I’m out of school for the summer.”

  “Now you’re just rubbing it in.” He laughed.

  She didn’t see Jeremy at all the next week and started to worry that she had scared him off.

  Then the phone rang Sunday night around nine. Jeremy.

  “I know you work tomorrow and it’s late, but can I bring you dinner so we can just sit together? I’ve had a horrible day and I just want to be with you.”

  “Of course. Come on over.”

  “Actually . . .” The doorbell rang. “I’m already here.”

  She opened the door and he held out a bag of food.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  He looked exhausted. Worse than exhausted. “What happened?” she asked.

  “I lost someone today,” he said. It took her a moment to figure out he hadn’t actually misplaced them. He’d . . .

  “Oh. I’m so sorry.” She pulled him into her arms, and he held on to her like she was going to pull him to safety from a sinking ship.

  They started kissing in a frenzy. He pulled her onto his lap as they fell onto the sofa. His skilled hands began to work under her shirt. Then he leaned her back on the pillows and lay on top of her.

  “We’re not actually doing this,” he said against her neck.

  “We’re not?” Her breathing was ragged. She was all for doing this. She hadn’t had any time to get nervous or second-guess the situation. It was just pure lust. Now she was starting to think.

  “No. If we did, it would be about me being in a bad place and you making it better. I don’t want that. When we do this—and so help me God, I really want to—it’s going to be about me making you forget I’m the rebound guy.”

  “Okay.” She appreciated him immensely, even if her body was a little disappointed. “But I could still make you feel better,” she offered with a smile and pulled his lips to hers.

  They fell asleep on the sofa together. His head was on her chest as she played with his light brown hair. It was softer than Ian’s. She wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. It was just notably different.

  At five, his phone went off and he crawled over her to leave after a quick kiss on the forehead.

  Chapter 10

  “Have you met this peckerhead?” Ian asked Kelly when he stopped by under the pretense of checking in.

  “Are you referring to the gorgeous surgeon my sister is dating?” Kelly batted her eyelashes. He snorted his disapproval at her description as well as her disloyalty.

  “You’re my sister,” he pointed out.

  Never in a million years would he have thought he’d one day fight for that right. When he was younger he would have gladly given her away.

  “Please. I don’t want people to know I’m related to the dipshit who walked out on someone as nice as Lexi.”

  “Mommy said dipshit.” Aidan giggled from the next room.

  “Aidan! Go to your room,” she called with a frown.

  “Why?” he whined.

  “For cursing. I’m going to my room soon, too.”

  “Mother of the year,” Ian muttered.

  “Let me ask you this: What did you think was going to happen when you left? Did you think she was just going to sit around in that big house alone forever? Did you not expect there to be a line from Roanoke to Florida to get a chance with someone as amazing as her? She’s beautiful, smart, funny—”

  “I get it!” He cut her off.

  “Do you? Because if you knew how perfect she was, you wouldn’t have left.” He said nothing. “Unless it really was because of the baby.”

  “What?”

  “Lexi thinks you dumped her because she couldn’t give you a baby. I know she torments herself with this feeling of inadequacy, but I’ve told her over and over again it wasn’t because of that. Was it?” Her eyes narrowed, and he knew that look. It was the don’t-answer-wrong-or-you’ll-get-hit-upside-the-head look.

  “Of course that wasn’t it. It wasn’t her fault.”

  “It wasn’t your fault either,” she said, calming down slightly.

  “I know,” he said, though he looked away as he said it. It was his fault. He was the one who’d walked out. “I think that guy spent the night.”

  “Are you stalking her?”

  “No.” He sighed. “Maybe.”

  “It’s not too late. She hasn’t married him. You could still—”

  “Still what, Kel? Still get her back, so I can make her just as sad as I did the first time?”

  “No! Get her back and be happy with each other.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m not enough.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “I wasn’t enough to make her happy the last time.”

  Kelly sighed and then held out her arms to give him a hug.

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry for pushing you. I just wish so much this would work. You were always so great together.”

  “I know, Kel. I know.”

  She let him leave eventually. He drove past the house he used to share with Lexi. He almost stopped but didn’t.

  As if his day hadn’t sucked enough, his next stop was sure to be awful.

  Meeghan answered her door with a big smile on her face. “Come in. I made dinner.”

  “Actually, I already ate.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Now she was upset. He needed to power through.

  “Look, I asked to stop by because I need to apologize to you. I got into a relationship with you before I was ready or even capable of being in a relationship. I . . . used you to make things easier for me. It wasn’t right, and I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. What about now? Are you ready now?”

  “It’s not okay.” He’d realized this was part of his problem. Too many women willing to let him off the hook when he did something stupid. “And no, I’m not ready.”

  “But when you are—”

  He shook his head and took both of her hands in his. It would be easier to let her have hope, to walk out without dealing with it. But he wasn’t that guy anymore. His homework was to take responsibility and end this properly. He needed to do it. He owed it to Meeghan and he owed it to himself.

  “We’re not going to be together. It’s not right to you, and when you meet the guy who can love you, you’re going to be glad.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded.

  “I’m sorry, Meeghan,” he said with complete sincerity.

/>   “Are you seeing someone else?”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m alone.” And he was going to be okay.

  Lexi and Jeremy saw each other once or twice the next week. She was dealing with it, even if it took three tries to watch an entire movie. She was almost out of school for the summer, which would give her more time alone to dwell on the fact that she didn’t see him as much as she wanted to.

  During their third installment of some action movie, she got up to go make popcorn. She had forgotten the characters’ names and the basic plot so she wanted an escape.

  On her way to the kitchen, she noticed the room had begun to look slanted. Sometimes when she stood up too fast she would get a little woozy, but this didn’t go away. She put her hand out to steady herself on the counter. She missed the counter as everything around her went black.

  She woke up with Jeremy leaning over her. At first she was surprised it wasn’t Ian waking her up. Then she realized she wasn’t waking up in bed; she was on the floor.

  “Ow,” she mumbled as the pain set in.

  “Stay still for a moment. You passed out and fell. Let me look you over before you move too much,” he ordered, sounding all doctorlike. She would have laughed if she wasn’t in so much pain.

  “Where does it hurt?” he asked.

  She concentrated on the question before answering. “My left wrist. My left knee. My chin.” She made a little groaning sound, and Jeremy jumped up to get her some ice.

  “Don’t move yet.”

  He looked at her chin carefully, then held a wet paper towel against it. She knew that meant it was cut. The ice was in a Baggie on her left cheek. She hadn’t realized anything was wrong with her cheek, but yes, it hurt, too.

  “I should have stopped for food before coming over. Did you eat today?” he asked.

  “Um. Yeah. I had a chicken salad sandwich at lunch.”

  “Dinner?” he asked as he gently checked her wrist for a break.

  “I was on my way to make popcorn,” she said in self-defense. “I guess I got carried away with work stuff and forgot to eat.” Ian used to be there to remind her. She frowned and then winced when he turned her wrist from side to side.

  He gave her the once-over, making her look into a light and follow his finger. Eventually she was permitted to sit up, and then slowly get up and go back to the sofa while he made them grilled cheese sandwiches.