“Okay.” She doesn’t look that certain, though.
“What?”
“There’s just… What if you fall for him?”
“That’s not going to happen,” I quickly answer.
“Are you sure? He seems really—”
“He’s probably been in at least five different beds since he got home. I’m not going to let myself fall in love with a guy like that.”
“Okay.” She nods. “Speaking of which, you should both get tested first.”
“Good thinking.”
Picking up my phone, I pull up the text Sean sent me and type back a response, asking him to meet me at a clinic downtown later this afternoon. As I set the phone back down, my fingers shake. Am I doing the right thing?
I’m excited. Nervous. Afraid. Yet there’s also another emotion in there, one that’s telling me this is good. I’m doing the right thing.
Later, I wait outside the clinic for Sean. I’ve already called and asked if they could see us last minute. Luckily, they were able to fit us in. I’m already pretty sure I’m clean, as I was tested just a few months ago. But asking Sean to get tested and not doing it myself just wouldn’t be right.
As I wait, I focus on a monkey tree across the street, mentally tracing lines along its branches. It’s an act that calms me, though I don’t know why.
A familiar form crosses the street, and my whole body tenses up as Sean heads my way.
“Hey.”
His voice has an unexpected effect, sending a wave of relaxation through me.
“Hi,” I reply. “Thank you for doing this.”
“It’s a good idea.” He nods. “So, I guess this means you’re taking me up on my offer.”
“Let’s just get tested first. Then we’ll talk.”
He gestures for me to go first, and I lead the way into the clinic. Sean fills out his paperwork first and as I’m taking my own up to the front desk, the receptionist gives me a smile.
“It’s so nice to see you both in here,” she says. “Not enough young couples take their health seriously.”
My jaw tightens. “Yeah.”
I can’t get my ass back in my seat quick enough.
Sean clears his throat. “About the…thing…”
“Can we please just wait?”
He nods and picks up a cooking magazine—not something I would expect him to read. My face is on fire from the receptionist calling us a couple, and I can’t stop myself from wondering what it would be like for that to be true. Sean would come to all doctor’s appointments with me. He’d be there when I went into labor, when I took the baby home…
The thoughts of a happy domestic life are a spiral I quickly yank myself out of. There’s no Sean and I. This whole thing is pragmatic, nothing more.
The door to the waiting room opens almost right away, and we’re called in. After that, everything happens fast. Blood is drawn, questions are answered. It’s the fastest I’ve ever been in and out of a doctor’s office.
After what seems to be only a few minutes, Sean and I are out and walking down the darkening street. My hand curls around my phone. The clinic will call once they have the results in, and I’m going to be checking my phone every two minutes until that happens.
“Are you hungry?” Sean asks.
We’ve crossed the street and entered a block lined with mom-and-pop eateries.
“Not really,” I mumble.
The only thing I’ve had all day is a bagel and a cup of coffee, but my appetite is nowhere to be found.
“Want a drink?”
“God, yes.”
Sean’s teeth dazzle as he smiles, lighting a spark in my chest. I’d almost forgotten what that grin did to me, how it made me feel like the world was turning upside down, but it didn’t even matter, because Sean was right next to me. No matter what came our way, I had him to hold onto.
That was then, I remind myself. This is now—and I need a stiff drink.
We settle into a table by the window, where I order a martini and Sean a beer. With nothing to do but just wait for both drinks and a phone call, we stare at each other across the table.
“So,” I say.
“So.” He nods.
I nervously flex my hands.
“How was the rest of the showcase?” Sean asks.
“Good, but we don’t need to talk about that.”
“Okay. Let’s not.”
He rubs his palms against the tops of his thighs, making his snug T-shirt stretch even tighter. The bicep tattoo of a sea creature draws my eye. He had a couple tats before he entered the military, but he’s really inked up since then. The look is a good one on him.
“I’ve thought some about what you said.”
I carefully enunciate each word, the act being one of those things that just makes me feel better.
Sean nods, eyes dancing.
Before I can say anything else, the waitress arrives with our drinks.
“I’ll have the burger,” Sean tells her, after glancing at the menu for all of two seconds. “Violet?”
“Nothing for me. Thanks.”
I take a hearty sip of my martini. How can he think of food right now?
With the interruption gone, Sean laces his hands on the table and leans into them. There go those biceps again, popping out all over the place. The muscles between my legs tighten, and I swallow hard.
“This is what you really want to do?”
“Yes,” he says right away.
“And you have no problem not being involved at all?”
He opens his mouth to answer, but there’s hesitation there. Something flashes in his eyes. Sadness? Want?
“Sean. If this isn’t right for you, tell me.”
In a heartbeat, his face changes, green eyes taking on a look so intense it could cut diamonds.
“This is what’s right for me.”
Now, it’s my turn to hesitate. Inhaling deeply, I look into my drink. What’s going on inside his head? Is it possible he wants to be a part of the baby’s life? What would that look like?
A vision of him rocking our baby hits me. For a second, hope flares in my heart. One thought later, and it’s gone.
Because that’s not Sean. Even back in high school, he always said he would never settle down. So though he might become all gung-ho about being a dad at first, there’s a good chance that will change.
It did for my own father. Even after being around for over a decade, he suddenly decided parenthood wasn’t for him. So he up and left with no warning.
No kid deserves a hot-and-cold parent. Over my dead body am I going to put my little boy or girl through something like that.
Suddenly, my phone rings, making me jump. The number is unrecognizable, but it’s local. I quickly catch Sean’s eye before answering.
“Hello?” I ask.
I do my best to listen to the person on the other end of the line, though I can’t focus through my anxiousness. A minute later, I have all the information needed.
As I hang up, I find my hands are trembling.
“Was that the clinic?” Sean asks.
I nod, tongue thick.
“And?”
“We’re both clean.”
A devilish grin spreads across his face. “Well then, what are we waiting for?”
Chapter 7
Violet
Sean doesn’t even wait for his food. After dropping some cash on the table, he leads the way out of the restaurant. My heart has climbed all the way up my throat, and I can’t even think straight.
“Follow me to my place?” he asks in the parking lot.
His hands are in his pockets, and he looks so chill and carefree. Is it a facade? Is he really freaking out on the inside, just like me?
No, I realize. This is a hookup. It’s probably normal for Sean. Well, barring the baby part. Other than that, this whole day could very well be standard practice.
“Yeah,” I answer. “I’ll follow you there.”
As I cli
mb into my car and follow Sean’s motorcycle onto the road, I’m dimly aware of the fact that I should probably continue to question this choice. It’s a giant one—something I can’t undo.
But I’m done questioning. What I’m doing today is for me, no one else.
And that feels better than anything else has in a long time.
I want this. Not just the baby, but the Sean part as well. Maybe getting a taste of him will cut down on my desire.
Not seeing him afterward will help as well. Though when it comes to that, there are still details to be ironed out. Keeping as much space as possible between us is probably the best idea.
Sean’s building is new, a towering monolith in the middle of downtown. Climbing out from the car, I squint my eyes and gaze up at it.
“Let’s take the elevator.” Sean’s voice makes me jump. Somehow, he’d come right up behind me without my noticing.
“Okay,” I answer, afraid he can hear the shaking in my voice.
Inside the building, everything is just as fresh. The paint glows and there are no nicks or marks on the walls.
“My roommate won’t be home for a few hours,” Sean explains, unlocking his door. “Hopefully that’ll give us enough time.”
I catch his eye, noting the grin there. It’s just what I need. My anxiety dissipates, and I laugh.
“Awfully confident, aren’t you?”
He shrugs. “I have good self-esteem.”
His response makes me giggle again, and for a second, I’m taken back to ten years ago. It’s the old Sean and me, just hanging out and shooting the breeze. This isn’t a stranger. Despite all the years that have gone by, this is someone I know and trust. Not with my heart, but with other things.
Remembering that makes the next breath easier to take in.
The living room is extremely minimal, with a long couch and some exercise equipment in it. Sean goes right past it and to one of the doors on the far end.
“This is my room.”
I look over his shoulder. “Wow.”
“What?”
“It’s so…um, clean. Organized.”
“Right. I guess you’re remembering my room in high school.”
“Uh-huh.”
I step into the room, my gaze raking over the walls. The military must have really changed him, because the Sean I knew couldn’t keep track of anything to save his life. This bedroom looks like it was just styled for a magazine. With a queen-sized bed covered with black pillows, a pristine desk, and a few movie posters on the walls, the place has character, but is also unassuming and simple.
“Do you need anything?”
He’s close behind me again, his voice making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight.
“No, I’m…good.”
Sean takes a slow step forward, landing in front of me. He’s so tall and broad. With him over me, I’d be completely covered.
Will be, I correct myself.
This is still so crazy. I can’t believe it’s happening, but there’s no going back—because I don’t want there to be.
I lick my dry lips, lifting my face up to his. Unexpectedly, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. It’s such a sweet gesture, reminding me that we’re not strangers.
But I also don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not here for a deep, intimate connection. I’m here for one thing.
Well, two. A baby and a good time.
“Are you ready?” he slowly asks, his voice gentle.
I nod. Before I can take another breath, his mouth covers mine. The soft yet firm way he claims my lips makes me gasp in surprise. Sean needs no encouraging. He presses his palms against my back, holding me close as he explores my mouth.
I press my own hands to his chest, absorbing the warmth radiating from him. As we kiss, his fingers wind their way through my hair, then down over my shoulders and hips. The ball of nerves I walked into the apartment with transform into a ball of heat instead. With each of brush of Sean’s fingers and each flick of his tongue, the warmth grows.
I twist my fingers in his shirt, eager and ready for more. He seems to know just what I want and loosely wraps his arms around my waist as he walks me backwards.
We land on the bed with my legs dangling over the side. I expect a quick undressing, but Sean is just as deliberate as he was before. Climbing over top of me, he gently rests his weight on top of mine as we continue the kiss. Spots of lights pulsing behind my closed eyelids, I twist my fingers through his thick hair. So many times, I’ve fantasized about doing exactly this.
Sean’s mouth breaks from mine with a hungry gasp. Hearing his noise of desire makes my own need ratchet up, and I buck my hips against him. He pays that part of my body no mind, though. His lips are on my neck, kissing and sucking heartily as his fingers splay out across my stomach.
He pushes my shirt up and over my head, exposing my bra. My nipples are tight with need, noticeable even through the bra cups. With a growl, Sean reaches behind me and undoes my bra, tossing it to the floor.
Leaning back, he takes a moment to drink me in. His gaze roves up and down my body, the attention making me shake with even more anticipation.
For a second, it seems he might say something, but then he leans back down. His lips close over one of my nipples, making pleasure twist through my whole body. As his mouth lavishes attention on one breast, he gently twists and pinches the other one.
I arch my back and grab hold of the blanket beneath me. No one has ever touched me like this before. With other guys, it’s like they’re just grabbing my boobs—but Sean worships them.
The pleasure grows, and, along with it, my need. I push my hand between me and Sean, rubbing my palm against the bulge in his pants. My nipple leaves his mouth with a wet pop.
“We have to get you ready,” he says, his voice dripping with lust.
“I am,” I gasp.
Sean grins. He likes that I’ve come so undone, but I don’t care. Instead of this whole experience being weird, like I expected it to be, it’s quickly become about nothing but fulfillment. I’m rippling with hot need, and if I don’t get taken care of soon, I’ll explode.
“Sean,” I sternly say.
His eyes dance. “Wow. When did you get so bossy?”
“Take your pants off,” I command.
His mouth twitches. “No.”
I sit up on my arms. “Huh?”
In an instant, I’m flat on my back, Sean’s mouth pressed against my neck and his hands holding my wrists above my head.
“No,” he whispers into my ear. “I’m in charge.”
A low moan creeps from my throat. Sean licks at my earlobe, and I’m shaking, unable to take this anymore.
Keeping one hand on my wrists, he works open my pants and runs a finger down the fabric of my panties. The slight touch makes wetness flow from me.
Pushing aside my underwear, he finds my nub and gently flicks it. I cry out.
“Sean,” I gasp. “You seriously need to—”
His mouth covers mine, eating up the rest of my sentence.
I kiss him hungrily, and he finally listens. Letting go of my wrists, he stands up and strips. I get busy as well, pulling off my pants and underwear.
Just like that, we’re naked in front of each other.
For a second, the whole room spins. Sean has muscles for days, layer upon layer packed on top of each other. But the best part of his body is nestled between his thighs.
Thick and long, his length points right at me, just as excited as I am.
Slowly, Sean crawls back onto the bed. Our eyes lock, and his bright green irises pull me in. A mix of emotions rise in me, but before I can identify any of them, I push them down. Today isn’t about my feelings, or making up for lost time, or anything else my nostalgic heart might think it is.
I lean back down as Sean comes near, but he wraps his arm under me and expertly turns me around so my head falls against the mass of pillows. His smooth body settles against mine, fitting into my
curves perfectly. The thrill builds, pushing hot gasps from my lips.
Kissing me once more, Sean adjusts his weight so that the tip of his length presses against my opening. The idea of a condom enters my head before I remember that we don’t need one.
A second later and he’s pushing into me, stretching my walls as far as they’ll go. I cry out, digging my fingers into Sean’s hair and back. The kiss becomes more desperate, teeth gnashing together. He rocks into me, hitting the magic spot right away.
Pleasure rumbles through me. I lock my arms and legs around Sean, holding on with a desperation I haven’t felt in a long time.
Letting go, I sink my weight against the bed and take everything Sean has to give. I need this—not just the pregnancy part. I need to cut loose, to live out this fantasy that I never thought would become reality.
I arch my back, and Sean buries himself completely in me. Shrieks fill the room, ones I didn’t know I could make.
Sean groans in pleasure against my cheek. Moving swiftly, he pulls out and adjusts himself; then, sucking on the base of my neck, he pushes into me again. With deep thrusts of his hips, he teases my nipples, continuing the attention on my neck. Pleasure travels the length of my body. I’m trembling, shaking with a kind of pleasure I didn’t know could exist.
With one hand cupping my breast, Sean reaches over my hips and presses his fingers to my mound. The extra stimulation adds to that from his deep, slick thrusts and I’m exploding, flying to pieces with ecstasy. I gasp in surprise, my scream flooding the room.
Sean’s own grunt mixes with my yell, and I can feel his length engorging more. His seed spills, hot liquid shooting deep inside of me. My body is ready, my muscles pulsing to absorb his load.
Sean pumps his hips a couple times more, emptying every last drop into me. Still contained in his arms, I close my eyes and drop my head back. I’m still trembling, my muscles weak. My head pounds, and I can barely hold it up.
“Mm.” Sean languidly runs his palms over my torso.
Though the deed is done, I don’t want to move. Not only am I exhausted, my muscles spent, but being in his arms feels that darn good.
Gingerly, he lifts me up and sets me on the bed next to him. I take a long, cleansing breath, still trying to think straight but knowing it will be a while.
Power Play - A MFMMM Reverse Harem Billionaire Romance (You Can't Resist a Bad Boy Book 6) Page 22