Improbable Nazi (Parallel Nazi Book 2)

by Ward Wagher

“I think you are just making excuses, Rainer. If you had notified my office, they would have told me.”

  Schloss pinched the bridge of his nose. Our big Hermann must be hitting the morphine again. He is almost unhinged. And what do I do?

  “Herr Reichsmarshall, if the Reichsprotektor will send me a copy of the report he sends you, we can get together and discuss it. Is that satisfactory?”

  “Oh, very well. I don’t know why I come to these meetings anyway.”

  “Fine,” Schloss said. “What’s the next item Willem?”

  “The government of the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia have requested we return the labor we impressed from there last year.”

  “What government?” Ribbentrop asked. “We are the government of the protectorate.”

  “Edvard Beneš signed the note.”

  “And he is in London with the so-called government in exile,” Goering said. “Why are we even discussing this?”

  “Actually, I put this item on the agenda,” Schloss said.

  “And you think it important?” Goering asked.

  Schloss simply stared at Goering. After a few moments Goering dropped his eyes, and said nothing further.

  “Allow me to make my point,” Schloss said. “Whatever else we may say about Reinhard Heydrich, he was making progress in subduing the protectorate with his carrot and stick approach. My question is whether releasing some of our guest workers to go home to Bohemia would be viewed as weakness or as a carrot?”

  “And whether they would immediately join the underground when they returned home,” Rainer said. “We have not treated them well.”

  “It sounds like we would be lighting a match,” Goering said.

  At least he is sounding slightly more rational, Schloss thought.

  “Might I suggest something truly radical?” Ribbentrop asked.

  Now I wonder what he is going to come up with.

  Schloss looked over at the foreign minister. “You have the floor, Joachim.”

  “Bear with me, please, this is a little different. We all know it is costing us more than we gain by keeping troops in the Protectorate. So I suggest we make an offer to Beneš. We will pull out of the protectorate. In exchange, they will sign a treaty with Germany and will guarantee the rights of the Germans in the land. We will grant them favored trade status and buy armaments from them.”

  Schloss rolled his tongue around in his cheek. “That is a radical suggestion, Herr Ribbentrop.”

  “It is insane is what it is,” Goering said. “We will be dismantling the Reich.”

  “Maybe, maybe not,” Schreiber said. “This is not something we could experiment on with Poland or France. But if the Bohemians don’t cooperate, it would be relatively easy to march back in. Plus, it might give us a opportunity to begin negotiating with the English.”

  “Perhaps we could offer to meet with Beneš in Lisbon,” Ribbentrop said.

  “How long have you been thinking about this, Joachim?” Schloss asked.

  “Actually, the idea just occurred to me. I am not sure whether it holds water or not.”

  “Another nutty idea from the foreign minister,” Goering snorted.

  “Rainer?” Schloss asked.

  “I think we should consider it. There would be a lot of hurdles to get over, but I think the idea has possibilities.”

  “If there is not going to be sane discussion today, I have things to do in my office,” Goering said. He got out of his chair and marched out.

  It grew quiet in the room. Finally Ribbentrop spoke. “What is wrong with him?”

  “I intend to find out,” Schloss said. “I think we should adjourn for now. Karl?”

  Rainer nodded as the others stood up. He followed Schloss back to his office.

  “If you are not already doing so, I need to have you watching the Reichsmarshall. We really do not have the time for him to commit an act of surpassing stupidity.”

  “He is using his morphine again, I suspect,” Rainer said.

  “I think you’re right.”

  “What are the guidelines, Herr Reichschancellor?” Rainer asked.

  “For the moment observe and keep me informed.”

  Rainer nodded and clicked his feet together. “Jawohl, Herr Reichschancellor.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  February 6, 1942; 3PM

  United States Consulate

  Blucher Palace

  Pariser Platz

  Berlin, Germany

  Misty Simpson looked up in annoyance as H. Gordon Smoke walked into her office.

  “What do you want, Gordie?”

  “I thought, perhaps, we should compare notes before we attend the reception, tonight,” the American chargé d'affaires said. “This is an important gathering.”

  Misty looked at the work piled up on her desk. Wearing two hats made her very busy. She was tempted to throw Smoke out of the room so she could continue to shovel away at the work, but also knew the work would remain long after she left for the day. Besides, Smoke made good sense.

  “Okay, sit down, Gordie,” she said, grinning inwardly at the wince he gave when she used his undesired nickname.

  He eased down on the sofa across from her desk and stretched out. In spite of his pudginess, he was long framed, and his feet touched the base of her desk. He allowed a long theatrical sigh.

  “I do not understand why we cannot get along, Old Gi...” he stopped at her glare. “er… Misty, we are on the same team here.”

  “I think we get along just fine,” she said. “You are acting as the ambassador and doing well, I have to admit. The back-channel gossip I hear says we will be restoring full diplomatic relations by summer. And, you are the number one candidate for the ambassadorship. The Germans like you.”

  “It just seems I should get a little more respect from the people here in the embassy,” he groused. “The marines look like they want to growl and bite me.”

  “They do,” she said with a giggle. “Daddy told me one time that respect is not an entitlement. It is earned.”

  “Easy for you to say,” he said. “You have those myrmidons eating out of your hand.”

  “And why is that, Gordie?”

  “It is because you are the only good looking and available female in the building, obviously.”

  “Thank you for the compliment, but I’m not available. Sorry. No, it’s because I give them the respect they have surely earned. And I don’t try to push my work off on to them. And I don’t treat them like servants. And I don’t act like the crown prince of East Bumblefrick, New Jersey.”

  He reared up at the profanity, and then held up his hands. “Please, I surely am not as bad as all that.”

  She folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow.

  “Okay, okay,” he continued. “Could we please talk about the reception?”

  She nodded. “The reception tonight is in honor of the Reichschancellor and Frau Badhoff to celebrate their engagement. As such we will offer our congratulations and best wishes. We will then mingle with the other members of the diplomatic community.”

  “So how is that different than any other soiree around this town?”

  “This is an important evening for the Reichschancellor. You do not want to be unzipped, or dip your tie in the soup. You screw things up and somebody else will be the ambassador.”

  “What are the odds we will get through to the summer without the Germans doing something that will cause Hull or the President to wave off?” he asked.

  “You are asking that?” she said. “You were the one who achieved the breakthrough with the Germans.”

  “Yes, yes, I know that. But everybody in Washington hates me. They put me out here so that either I or the Germans will do something to wreck the relationship and that will be the end of my career. I’m not stupid, you know.”

  “No, you’re not,” she agreed. “Arrogant, pig-headed...”

  “Enough, already!” he shouted. “I”m trying to work with you here.�
��

  She stared at him for a long moment before speaking. “Okay, I want you to succeed, too.

  “You sure have a funny way of showing it.”

  She shrugged. “There is one other thing. I want you to pass some information to Rainer.”

  “How am I going to do that?”

  “When you greet him, simply mention that you suspect the object of his desires is in Munich.”

  He studied her for a moment. “They have been turning over every rock in the country looking for Heydrich. Is that who you’re talking about?”

  “It would be better if I didn’t say. If you truly don’t know, he will think you are being cryptic.”

  “Instead of ignorant,” he supplied.

  “You said it, I didn’t.”

  He swore at her and stood up. “I really do not have to take this, you know. Hull told me that all I needed to do was say the word, and he would pull you out of here.”

  “Oh, I suppose we could debate for a while whether the Secretary of State could actually do that. I do not think he can. But think about who might replace me out here in Berlin. I’m on your side, Gordie. I really am.”

  “My God,” he breathed, “you would probably put ground glass in my food if you had the chance.”

  “And I would smile about it,” she said.

  He remained standing in her office and looked down at her desk. He reached down and picked up an envelope with railroad tickets sticking out.

  “Taking a little trip, are we?” he asked.

  She jumped up and snatched it out of his hand. “Why can’t you mind your own business?”

  “And you are personally going down to uncover Heydrich? I don’t know if you know this, Girlie, but that will get you killed.”

  She stood up and stepped around the desk and walked up to him. “Do you want to bet on that, Gordie? Would you like to bet on whether or not I could kill you? I would strongly suggest you forget you saw those tickets. I will be taking a little trip out of town and that’s all you need to know.”

  “I don’t know why I even bother to talk to you,” he said as he turned to leave the room.

  “We need to leave at seven,” she called to his retreating back.

  § § §

  February 9, 1942; 9AM

  Chancellor’s office

  Reich Chancellery

  Berlin, Germany

  “The Englanders have been very quiet,” Schloss said. “It makes me nervous.”

  Hermann Goering picked up his coffee cup and slurped noisily from it. “Canaris has not successfully placed an agent in Downing Street. He does have a source in Moscow who picked up a report from a Soviet agent in place. Apparently, Churchill decided to focus on fighter aircraft in an effort to stop us from pummeling them.”

  “I wasn’t aware we were really pummeling them,” Schloss said. “I assumed our raids were merely nuisance value.”

  “It seems our success at Bletchley Park has really shaken them,” Goering said with a smile. “There was something there of supreme importance, at least from the way they reacted.”

  “Any ideas on what it was?” Schloss asked. It would be interesting to discover if we had any intelligence that told us what was going on there.

  “Just speculation, Herr Reichschancellor. That is not a major manufacturing area, so we wondered it was related to their intelligence establishment.”

  Schloss rubbed his chin. Since Goering had been at the trough since he arrived at the office, Schloss decided he could allow himself a cup of coffee. He took a careful sip.

  “Your coffee is very good,” Goering said. “Where do you get it?”

  “I brought a couple of hundred pound bags back from Lisbon after my trip there last summer. I am thinking about ordering more. Would you like some as well?”

  “Yes, very much. Thank you, Herr Reichschancellor. That is very generous.”

  “Oh, I will make you pay for your share, Hermann.”

  Goering chuckled. “I’m sorry. I misunderstood. I shall be happy to pay. It is well worth it.”

  “Kirche, can you see to it?” Schloss asked.

  The secretary was sitting to the side, taking notes on the meeting. He looked up and nodded.

  “Of course, Herr Reichschancellor. I shall see to it immediately.”

  “Thank you, Willem,” Schloss said.

  He turned back to Goering. “Is there a way to confirm this change of strategy on the part of the English?”

  “It seems they have given up on bombing raids for the moment.”

  “And there will be no complaints from me about that. But it does raise the question – did they stand down the bomber squadrons, or did they move them elsewhere?”

  Goering looked puzzled for a few moments and then visibly started. “You have a nasty, evil mind, Herr Reichchancellor. I think we might rotate a few extra squadrons into North Africa.”

  Schloss nodded. “I think that would be a good idea. Where are we at on the radio detection devices?”

  “We have a couple of newly built units ready to test in the Condors. Perhaps we could send those to North Africa as well.”

  “That sounds like an opportunity to me,” Schloss said. “Things are going well, now, though, and that makes me nervous.”

  We have now definitely moved outside of history as I knew it. I can no longer predict what people and nations are going to do. I knew this would happen sooner or later, but there’s no question you are on your own now, Hennie.

  “As you have often remarked to me, Herr Reichschancellor, when things go well, we must be especially alert. We are trying to pay careful attention.”

  “I suppose that is all I can ask,” Schloss said. “I have a couple more items we need to discuss.”

  “Of course,” Goering said agreeably.

  Schloss looked over at the secretary. “Leave us now, Willem.”

  “Of course, Herr Reichschancellor.” The man silently rose to his feet and eased out of the room.

  “I don’t know how you find people like that,” Goering said. “Herr Kirche is competent.”

  “Part of it is training them,” Schloss said. “I set the expectations and turn them loose. The good ones figure things out.”

  “I wish you would send some of the good ones over to me,” Goering muttered. “And what were the other items you needed to discuss?”

  “Fritz Guderian.”

  Goering shook his head. “That is proving to be a challenge, Herr Reichschancellor. The young man raped and murdered a four-year-old Jewish girl. There is no question he is as guilty as sin. Schneller Heinz swallowed everything his nephew told him, and is now moving heaven and earth to save him.”

  “He won’t listen to you?”

  Goering shook his head. “No. We have had several conversations that went nowhere except downhill.”

  “He has been trying to see me,” Schloss said. “I appreciate you blocking that, but I wonder if I am going to have to put the fear of God in him.”

  “I have not been successful in such,” Goering said.

  Schloss tapped his pencil on the desk as he thought. Then he looked up at Goering. ”All right, Hermann. Let me see what I can do.”

  “And the other item?”

  Schloss stared at the other man until he began to grow uncomfortable.

  “You seem to be on an even keel today, Hermann.”

  Goering turned pale and he looked down as he wrung his hands in his lap. “I did not comport myself well in the meeting last week.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Schloss asked.

  “I was having a bad day, Herr Schloss. I apologize for my behavior. I promise to be more… considerate.”

  Schloss worked his tongue around inside his cheek as he considered the Reichsmarshall. He felt like he was lecturing a little boy.

  “You know, Hermann, I can arrange for treatment for your… problem. No one need know. Perhaps a vacation or something.”

  “I… I have no idea what you are tal
king about, Herr Reichschancellor.”

  Goering placed his hands on the arms of his chair in preparation for standing up. Schloss noticed they were shaking.

  “Are we done, here, Herr Reichschancellor?” Goering stood up.

  “I suppose so, Hermann.” And he pointed his pencil at Goering. “But understand, if you cannot get control of this on your own, I will be forced to see that you get treatment. Do not tarry.”

  “Of course, Herr, Reichschancellor. Thank you for your time.”

  Schloss stood up as well. “Have a good day, Hermann.”

  Schloss watched the portly man walk from the room.

  And I wonder if we have any bets on who the next member of government will be who has to find a new career.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  February 27, 1942; 8AM

  Tobruk, North Africa

  Erwin Rommel stood in the remains of the British headquarters in Tobruk with his hands on his hips. This was the second time the Germans had conquered the city and he was tired of working around the shortcomings of his armies. Fortunately, the U-boats had broken the choke-hold the English had held on the Mediterranean, and an abundance of men and matériel were now arriving in the North African theater.

  The Germans sat along the middle of the African coast between two English and Commonwealth armies. Rommel thought a good analogy was that the Germans were stuck like a bone in the English throat. If they did not dislodge the Germans, they would strangle. Unfortunately, this also meant that he was engaged in a two-front war. It was incumbent upon him to use his resources wisely, or he would not survive. Of course, the English were fighting to retain Egypt, and they were tenacious.

  People were at their most creative when their backs were against the wall, and the English excelled at finding rabbits to pull out of the hat. He wondered why the English were so much more innovative than the Germans. Now, the Germans loved elegant solutions. But, they almost always worked towards a predefined solution.

  Rommel knew the map of the Tobruk area so well he was seeing it in his dreams. One of the keys to winning this war was mastery of the desert terrain. It was deceptively complex. He had been able to use this against the English time after time. He turned to his chief of staff.