by Cassy Roop
I remember not too long after I caught him cheating and moved in with Kelly, that I sat at our dining room table and watched as a mother played with her children at the park across from the apartment. I remembered the envy and jealousy that I felt when that mother lifted her child into her arms and held on with all the love I knew she was feeling in her heart. I wanted that. I wanted that more than anything in the world. Am I thankful that it wasn’t Jared that I had children with? Yes. But if I were pregnant, how would I feel about Dominic being the father? How would he feel about being a father?
My head was spinning from the thought. There was no way that I could bring a child into this world with all the shit that is going on around us. I needed to get that video to the police before the trial started in a few weeks.
I moved to stand up and Rownan stopped me before I could make it to my feet.
“Where are you going?” he asked with concern.
“I need to get that video to the police, Rownan. I have to stop this. I have to put that monster away before he gets away with anymore of this blackmail.”
“I agree, love, but if you think that there is even a slight chance that you could be expecting, don’t you think you should go find out?”
He had a point, but I wanted to get this over with. I was tired of this blackmail hanging over my head and tired of worrying whether Asher was going to make good on his threats to hurt my friends.
“Please, Rownan. I just want to get it over with,” I begged. He nodded his head and rose reaching his hand out to help me to my feet and steadying me once I got there.
“Tell you what. Let me take you to your apartment so you can get cleaned up and I can run to the drugstore for you while you are getting ready. If you are indeed carrying a wee one in this gorgeous flat belly of yours, then you need to start taking care of yourself now,” he said as he placed his hand on my belly. It was a very intimate gesture, and if it would have been anyone else, I would have been offended, but it was Rownan. The same man who had done nothing but care for me pretty much since we met. I would be forever thankful to him for all he has done for me.
“Deal,” I smiled.
I climbed into the shower almost immediately when I got to the apartment. I was thankful for the warm water as it coated and caressed my body, washing the grime of yesterday away. What happened between Dominic and me at the club kept playing like a movie over and over in my mind. I felt broken and used by the way that he treated me, but at the same time, I felt as if I deserved it. I scrubbed at my body with the loofah until my skin was red and angry. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed I could never get clean enough to wash away the sins that I have committed against everyone.
After rinsing off, I turned off the taps and reached for the towel on the bar hanging from the wall. I fought back a wave of nausea as I dried myself off. After wrapping my hair in another towel and brushing my teeth, I padded to my bedroom to get dressed. It was starting to get hot outside being the end of May, so I settled for a light pink paisley print sundress. It was comfortable and easy to wear, and made me feel a little pretty even though I was not feeling pretty at the moment.
After sipping on the dress, I placed my hands over my belly in a warm, comforting gesture. Was there actually a baby growing inside of me? A little life that Dominic and I both created? I imagined my belly growing as it swelled with a life that I created. I envisioned Dominic and I both together, happy, and raising our little boy or girl together. I was no longer sitting at the coffee table peering out the window at the mother across the street at the park. I was her. I was the one who got an emotional joy out of watching her child run around with laughter and pink cheeks.
I was brought out of my fantasy when the sound of the doorbell interrupted my thoughts. Thinking that it must be Rownan back from the store already, I scurried down the hall to let him in. I unwrapped my hair from the towel quickly, and threw it on the back of the couch before trying to run my fingers through my long blonde hair before I answered the door.
The doorbell rang repeatedly with impatience from the person on the other side.
Why is he in such a hurry?
I chuckled. “Coming!” I yelled as my small snicker continued. Grabbing the handle of the front door, I yanked it open.
“What are you so…?” I began, but the question died on my lips. The person on the other side of the door wasn’t Rownan. It was Madam V, Victoria, as I had become to know her.
What the hell is she doing here?
“Hi,” I said, surprise evident on my face. Victoria and I hadn’t had very much interaction since I started going to The Celtic Knot and seeing Dominic. We didn’t even converse much after I became an employee either, so her showing up to my apartment had me both intrigued and nervous.
“May I come in?” she asked as she tossed her dark ebony hair over her shoulder. Her dark eyes smoldered and her lips were her usual blood red. She was always so immaculately dressed even when she was in casual attire.
“Yes, of course,” I replied as I stepped back to allow her to enter the apartment. She sashayed into my place with an elegant, confidant grace. If I would have been wearing the six inch stilettos that she wore with her skin hugging skinny jeans, I would have fallen flat on my face. Her grey, low cut tank she wore showed off the creamy white toned skin of her arms. She was beautiful, I felt small and homely compared to her.
“Nice...place,” she stated and I didn’t ignore the snootiness in her tone. She glanced around mine and Kelly’s place with distaste, like just being in the room was beneath her.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her nervously. The lack of interaction between us had me questioning her motives for being here. I have always felt uncomfortable around her. Especially the night that I first went to The Knot when she inspected me head to toe. I thought that night she was flirting with me, but after I thought about it, she was just sizing me up. That is what she did as the head Mistress of the club. It was her job to scope out the members and see if they were dominant or submissive. She was also responsible for matching up said submissives with a dom.
“I think we better sit down,” she suggested. I nodded my head and motioned for her to join me over on the couch. I scooted all the way against the arm of the couch and hugged one of the throw pillows in front of me like it would act as a barrier between Victoria and me. The vibe I was getting from her was not a pleasant one, and I knew she wasn’t here for just a social visit.
She sat straight, poised and with an atmosphere of dominance and her hands placed in her lap like a debutante. Her eyes took me in, as if sizing me up and I began to feel a little uncomfortable with the silence that stretched between us.
“Send a man to do a woman’s job,” she stated slightly shaking her head.
“Excuse me?” I asked as I tilted my head, not understanding what it was she was trying to say.
“Nothing, never mind. So, word has it you broke into the club last night.” Her forceful accusation filtered through me, and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms stand at attention. This conversation was not heading in a good direction, in fact, far from it. She looked at me expectantly, demanding that I answer with just a bat of her eyes.
“I-uh…”
“Save the denial, Ashley. I know you were there. Dominic already told everyone,” she said as she looked at her perfectly manicured scarlet fingernails.
“Well then why are you asking me if I was there if you already knew?” I threw back at her starting to feel irritated.
“I didn’t ask. I stated fact. You would do better to listen. I also heard that he made you safe word. I always knew you were weak. The first night you walked into my club, I knew you would be too fragile and delicate to withstand the lifestyle. But then you went and did the impossible. You made a man who had no feelings, no emotions, and fall desperately in love with you. Tell me, Ashley how exactly did you do that? How did you manage to get your conniving and deceiving claws into Dominic, hmm?”
>
I sat back letting my backside connect to the arm of the sofa as I stared at her in disbelief. The gall of this woman to come into my home and accuse me of being conniving and deceiving. In her eyes though, I was for what I did to Dominic and Knox, so her sticking up for them was only natural and I couldn’t hate her completely for that.
“I didn’t do it on purpose, Victoria. I had no clue that he would develop feelings for me, just like I had no plan to fall for him.”
“Ah, but you did. Then you ripped the beating heart right out of his chest and for what? Personal gain? Money? What was it?” she asked accusingly with disdain dripping from her voice. How did I answer her? I couldn’t tell her that I did it out of love and protection for three of the most important people in my life. I did it because I wanted no harm to come to them because I knew that sadistic son-of-a bitch Asher would follow through with his threats. The man enjoyed inflicting pain on people. I wouldn’t put it past him to kill someone.
“Do you want to know what I think?” she asked nonchalantly.
“By all means, Victoria, what do you think?” She looked at me as if pondering whether to even answer me. My irritation started to rise as well as the discomfort of my nauseous stomach. I clenched the pillow tighter trying to alleviate both of them by the time she started to speak.
“Like I said, you are weak. You have no fucking backbone. You didn’t even stand up for yourself when your friends were threatened. You didn’t stand up for yourself when you were told to plant that evidence last night. You just did it. Like a good little bitch.”
My jaw hit the floor as I tried to process what she just said to me. How did she know that Dominic, Knox, and Kelly were threatened? And how in the hell did she know about the evidence file that I put in the file cabinet at the club?
“Speechless I see,” she said contemptuously. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to process the fact that she knew. And then suddenly it came to me. She knew. She knew about all of it.
“How do you know about all of that?” I whispered. Her wicked laugh rang in my ears like a loud warning bell, bouncing off of my eardrums with an unpleasant utterance.
“Stupid, stupid, girl. I’d have thought you would have figured it out by now, especially with those two fucking idiots Asher and Drake.
It all became very clear to me in that moment. The times Asher and Drake referred to their “boss.” The many times they whispered between each other when they didn’t think I was hearing about so-in-so not liking something, or that so-in-so would be pleased.
“You.”
“And she finally gets it ladies and gentleman,” she scoffed.
“Why the fuck would you do this to Dominic and Knox, Victoria? Why would you betray them like that after all that they did for you?” I said. I shot to my feet and threw the pillow down on the couch in anger.
“I didn’t betray them, you did.” She announced like I didn’t know what I had done.
“Because I was forced to!”
“No one forced you to do it, doll. It was a choice you made.”
“You threatened the lives of my friends. What was I supposed to do?”
“For starters, you never should have set foot in my club. If it weren’t for you, things would have gone a completely different direction. I have worked tirelessly for years to help Dominic break past his walls. I put in years of friendship and self-sacrifice to help him realize that I was the one for him, but then you came along and in an instant you got through to him.”
She’s in love with him. He wasn’t with her.
“You can’t make someone love you, you know that right?” I bit out sarcastically. I rounded the coffee table to put some distance from the woman who had destroyed my life and myself. It was taking every ounce of strength within me to not go to her and beat her to a bloody pulp. My head pounded as the sound of my heartbeat rang in my ears. I had to keep calm. If I were pregnant, the last thing I needed was for things to get physical between her and me, no matter how tempting it would be to bash her face in.
“It wasn’t about making him love me; it was about him realizing that he is. You see, I am the only woman who he has allowed to be close to him. Everyone else has always been kept at an arms distance, but he accepted me, leaned on me and relied on me for things he didn’t seek out from others. He was just afraid to admit that he needed me.”
I threw my head back and laughed, a full, belly shaking laugh that had tears forming in my eyes. This was all some sort of sick joke.
“You realize how fucking delusional you sound? I’ve seen shit like this on TV, but to actually have it happen in real life is just, wow. You are one fucked up individual if that is the way your mind really works.”
She shot up off of the couch and was on me in an instant. I was involuntarily pressed up against the wall in the living room, and the force of it knocked the breath out of me. My back, arms and shoulders ached from the impact. Victoria had her forearm pressed up against my chest, locking me in place while her other hand was gripped firmly around my mouth and jaw.
“Listen you little fucking twit. You ruined everything for me. Years of progress thrown out the fucking window with one bat of your eyes. What the fuck does he see in you anyway? You are a skinny, fucking spineless blonde, who wouldn’t know what to do with a good dick when she sees it. I had to stop you. I had to stop him from falling deeper for you, before I lost him for good. The way to do that? Betray him. Just like he saw his father do to his mother every day. I knew it had to be something so vile, that he would drop you in an instant.” Hot breath and saliva spat from her mouth onto my face as she growled with a fierceness in her eyes that I had never seen before. To say I was frightened was an understatement as her fingernails dug into my face with enough strength to draw blood.
“Listen and listen good. You are going to testify in court and admit that you lied. On the stand. This way Nic and Knox don’t go to jail, you on the other hand, will.”
I looked her dead in the eyes. I didn’t want her to see my fear. Hell, she probably could smell it.
“Why the fuck would I do that?” I asked.
“You have no clue who you are messing with do you? See my ex used to beat the shit out of me. I learned pretty well how to defend myself. Since Nic helped me escape, I have always gone after what I want. What I want is Dominic. I want you out of his life. I want you to say it was all for the love of money. Drag yourself through the mud so deep you won’t be able to get out.”
“You’re out of your ever fucking mind if you think that is going to happen,” I spat back in her face. Her grip on me tightened as I struggled to break free of the strong arm she had on me.
“You know, Kelly and I have gotten quite chummy since you betrayed her and the boys. She confides in me, we go shopping, do lunch together. I’d hate it if something were to say, happen to her.”
“You sick bitch, you leave her alone!” I yelled in her face. My breathing came in short, quick breaths as she pressed her forearm even harder into my sternum.
“Looks like you are faced with another choice, Ashley. Are you going to choose to try to be with Dominic and lose your best friend, or will you choose your best friend and let her live? Decisions, decisions.” She tsked as she shoved away from me. My back slid down the wall as I sank to the floor and held my head in my trembling hands.
“I’ll see myself out,” she said as she made her way towards the door. Before she got there, the front door swung open and Kelly burst into the apartment. Tears that I was barely hanging onto, burst forth from my eyes silently, as I tried my damnedest to remain quiet so that I didn’t alarm Kelly.
“Hey, Kelly, we were just talking about you,” Victoria said with a smile in her voice making it sound like sugar when I knew it was made of poison.
“Hey, Vic, what are you doing here?” Kelly asked, as I had to watch my best friend hug the vile woman who had caused me more grief, more pain, and more anguish than anyone should have to endure in a lifetime.
“I came to talk to Ashley. I wanted to offer her my help. She is such a sweet girl. If she needed money so badly, I would have just given it to her. I just wanted to let her know that I was here if she needed anything. It just didn’t seem like her to do what she did to the boys.”
Kelly and Victoria released from their hug and Kelly looked at where I was on the floor.
“I don’t think she is feeling well, poor thing. She looks awful pale. She should get some rest. I hear there is a nasty bug going around,” Victoria said in fake concern. How the hell Kelly couldn’t see her derision of me was a miracle.
“I’m here now. I will help her to bed,” Kelly replied and I knew her statement was sincere. I felt sick to my stomach having to endure their “friendly” interaction before Victoria finally left. Kelly came over and sat next to me on the floor.
“Hey,” she said as she rubbed my arm. A comforting gesture she had done many, many times before. “Feel bad, huh?”
I just nodded, not wanting her to see my tears, and the possible nail marks on my face.
“I—uh—just left the club. The investigators are there doing their search. Dominic told everyone what happened last night when he found you at the club. Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said as I kept my head focused on the floor and my elbows resting on my knees to support it.
“Ash, why did you break into the club last night? Is that where you went last night when Knox and I got here?” she asked, not in an accusing tone, but more of a concerned best friend one.
I finally braved a glance at her from my red, swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks. The concern I saw in her eyes when ours connected nearly broke me. Having to choose between the man that I loved and my best friend was the hardest decision that I would ever have to make, but my heart already knew the answer and Victoria knew that. She knew whom I would choose, and she played that to her advantage. She was seriously fucked up in the head, I had no doubt she would go through with her threats.
“Hey, it’s ok. Come here,” she soothed as she reached for me and folded me into her arms. I hugged her back with such fervor that I could have crushed her.