All the Ways to Here

by Emily O'Beirne

  Finn laughs and rustles around in the bag. “I’ve also got chocolate Tassie devils for your sibs. Less nutritious, but way more fun.”

  “They too will adore you. At least during the sugar high.”

  “And don’t be jealous, because I got you something too.”

  Willa plays at a pout. “Lucky.”

  Finn’s teeth are clamped on her bottom lip, and she hands Willa a small green bag. “Please don’t pretend to like it if you don’t.”

  “You will never know.” But Willa doesn’t have to pretend to like the delicate chain bracelet with the two slender silver eucalyptus leaves hanging from it. She loves it. It’s too perfect. Because it’s camp all over again. It’s the beginning of them. It’s their sunrise mornings, it’s Finn’s painstakingly pretty sketches under the trees at the creek, and it’s that beautiful, urgent feeling that would take over whenever Finn sought her out. It all storms back in a delicious rush.

  Finn clips the chain onto Willa’s wrist, right next to the worn friendship band that Riley made her promise not to take off.

  “I’m not pretending to love it.” Willa runs her finger over the tiny links. “I just do.” And even though she knows she’s probably being a little loose about what constitutes half an hour, she can’t help pulling herself up to perch next to Finn for a minute. “So, how was your weekend with Anna?”

  “Great. She rescued me from the Mum and Dad tension. How was today at the hospital?”

  “Okay. Weird.” Willa tells Finn about what happened after the operation, about her little freak-out in the hallway. “It was like I couldn’t breathe.”

  “Scary.” Finn grabs her hand and holds it tight. “It sounds like you had a panic attack. Dan used to have them when he was younger.”

  “I don’t know what it was, but it was horrible. And it was so strange, because I knew Nan was fine. I mean, she was asking for a sandwich. Why was I freaking out?”

  “I think,” Finn says slowly, her thumb sliding over the back of Willa’s hand, “it’s because you hold on so tight to being okay. So this time, when you finally let go, it forced you to feel it, you know?”

  Willa watches the dogs snuffle around on the nature strip and lets the idea leaven. “Maybe.” Whatever it was, she hopes it never happens again.

  “I like it when you tell me things.” Finn’s head drops onto her shoulder, a sudden warm weight. “I don’t like that it’s happening to you, but I like that you tell me.”

  They sit in silence as a plane roars past, low, on the way to the airport.

  “I missed you so much,” Willa whispers. “All I wanted today at the hospital was to see you.” She bites hard at her lip. “Is that too intense?”

  “No.” Finn squeezes her hand. “It was just the right amount of intense. Because it’s what you felt.”

  “Stop being so amazing. Because I have to go home now.”

  Finn lets out a little groan. “Too soon.”

  “Do you want to come and see Nan with me after school this week?”

  “Of course.”

  “Great.” Willa drops onto the footpath, but Finn grabs at her as if she’s not ready to let her go. Willa’s not ready either. She throws her arms around Finn and squeezes her hard, gathering all the Finn feelings she can get to keep her going until next time. “Night,” she whispers.

  “Night, Will.”

  Willa takes off down the street, feeling the delicate weight of her bracelet gift at her wrist. For the first time in a week, happiness streams through her like a light.

  CHAPTER 25

  Finn

  Today is one of those days Finn can’t seem to get ahead of. Or even with. Instead, it’s just happening all over her, stomping on her head.

  She hunches over her books, frantically scribbling answers to her history homework. And as she summons half-assed answers from the unfamiliar lines of text, her mind dances around the ways her current behind-the-eight-ball status may or may not be her own fault.

  It probably doesn’t help that after their visit to Nan yesterday, she let the late-afternoon sunshine lure her to the park. Instead of home and to her desk and a pile of homework. Nope, instead of doing the sensible thing, she did the awesome thing. Even Willa was willing to leave her textbooks in her bag for once and hang out on the grass with the kids.

  And whenever the guilt crept in, Finn told herself there was always time after dinner. Because how could she leave the kiss of sun on bare legs? Or Willa’s sleepy smile and the summer taste of lemonade icy poles? Finn’s strong, but she’s not Wonder Woman.

  Besides, why bother going home? It’s depressing. Either the house is empty, or her mum is all head-down, “I just have to finish this last thing” into her work. She always stops to ask Finn about her day, but the instant Finn’s done telling her, she’s back at it again, and the house lapses into silence.

  So instead of going home when Willa left her to go make dinner, Finn dropped by Dan’s house, which resulted in the inevitable dinner invite. She stayed there until late, watching some new reality singing show with Dan and his mum. They sat around, picking on all the auditions and laughing at Dan’s brother’s attempts to prove he should have been a contestant.

  But the end result of that indulgent afternoon was having to scramble out her Bio homework on the tram this morning and rushing through her English assignment in Maths. And now she’s devoting her lunchtime to History. And then, when she gets home tonight, she’s going to have to go over the maths she missed in class on top of today’s homework. It’s been the ripple effect from hell.

  “Yeah, man, but the sequel was stellar, you have to admit.” Dan and Craig are in deep movie-rant mode on the bench next to her. She introduced the two of them on Monday, and it’s been nerd-boy perfect match ever since. It’s funny how that can happen at school. One minute someone is bare recognition in a hallway and the next you’re making bff plans for movie marathons.

  It’s been pretty cute, watching them geek-bond, but right now, Finn’s got a Gold Rush to pretend to know something about, so she forces them back to background sound status and continues hunting down phrases that will pass for cogent answers.

  She’s on her second-last question when Dan elbows her. “Hey, Rosie said to remind you about the meeting tonight.”

  “I know. I’m going.”

  Another elbow. “And do you remember what you promised me? A photo. Considering you haven’t been able to produce the girl in person. She has, like, no social media presence. It’s creepy.”

  “No, stalking is creepy.”

  “No, it’s necessary. Your general, weird coyness has made it necessary.” He turns to Craig. “You’ve met her, right?”

  “Willa? Yeah, at camp.”

  “Is she as hot as Finn says?”

  “I suppose she’s very pleasing to the eye,” Craig says slowly.

  “Dude, you’re allowed to say she’s hot if she’s hot.”

  “Finn’s going out with her. She’s allowed to say it. I’d just be a gross, leering bystander.”

  “And this is why Craig’s a classy guy and you’re…” Finn flaps a hand at Dan. “And you’re you.”

  Dan leans in close, making a megaphone of his hands. “You promised me a photo.”

  If there’s one thing Finn knows about her best friend, it’s that he has an outstanding ability not to shut up until he gets what he wants—top-of-the-resume kind of skill. So she flicks through her phone and finds an appropriately cute photo of Willa from a couple of weeks ago at the park. Willa’s standing over Finn, smiling and holding out her hand, trying to make Finn get up and walk instead of taking photos of her.

  “Happy?” she says, passing it to him.

  Dan hunches over the screen, blocking out the light with his hand. “Oh. I thought she’d be scarier looking. She looks positively angelic.”

  “You sound disappointed.”

  “Nice one, Harlow.” Dan holds up the phone. “So, Craig, would you call this an accurate repre
sentation of said human?”

  Finn hits him with a pen. “What do you think I did? Photoshopped it? This may come as a surprise you, but I’m not that invested in your opinion of her.”

  “But I am. She’s hooked my bestie. I have to approve. Ooh, hang on, you got a message. Is it her?” The excitement in his voice fades. “Oh, it’s Zehra.”

  Dan and Zehra are enemies from way back. Something about a Year 7 Geography project, maps of Africa, and Dan not colouring in the lines. Real hold-a-grudge material. If you’re a stubborn idiot, that is.

  He passes the phone to her. The message is just three words. Are you coming? Finn frowns. And then her stomach plunges. “Oh shit. Shit! Shit!” She grabs up her books and pens and uneaten sandwich and shoves them into her bag.

  “Please explain your current meltdown,” Dan says.

  “Monthly year-level brief. I freaking forgot.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to forget those, Cap’n.”

  “Feel free to shut up.” She turns and smiles at Craig. “It was nice to see you, Craig.” She spins on her heels.

  “Oh now, that’s not fair,” Dan calls out as she marches away. “I’m the best friend, remember? I said your girlfriend looks angelic!”

  ~ ~ ~

  Finn shuts the door quietly and scuttles to the empty seat next to Zehra.

  Mr Granger clocks the late entry but doesn’t react. He’s too busy listening to the junior captain reel off the Year 7 and 8 report.

  Finn drops her bag to the floor, ignoring Zehra’s questioning look. That’s when she realises she doesn’t have the brief with her. In fact, there’s a strong chance it’s on the kitchen counter, where she ignored it this morning in favour of staring blankly out the window while she waited for coffee to happen.

  “Hey, can I borrow your brief for a second?” she whispers.

  Zehra’s narrowed eyes slide over her.

  “Left it in my locker.” Zehra doesn’t need to know Finn doesn’t have it because she’s apparently determined to make this a benchmark day in Finn underperformance.

  Zehra slides hers from a neat, blue folder and hands it to her.

  Finn quickly scans it, committing as much as she can to memory, and passes it back. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  “Thank you, Edward,” Mr Granger says to the junior school captain, sounding about as interested as someone who is not that interested in his job as student council support can be. “Okay, Harlow. Intermediate school. Impress me.”

  No pressure or anything. Finn dives into her recap/comprehension/memory exercise, scrambling through the news from the different groups and committees she’s supposed to talk about.

  “And that’s about it for this week,” she says as she winds up, wishing she was allowed to put her head down on the desk now.

  Zehra nudges her and says, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Um, what about the uniform drive?”

  Oops. The uniform drive. Probably only the biggest student activity the Year 9s and 10s are involved in right now.

  “Oh yeah. It’s, uh, going well,” Finn stutters, wishing she could remember just one exact detail. “We’ve raised about...” She looks for the sheet, but Zehra’s put it in her bag.

  “Five hundred and eighty dollars,” Zehra says quietly. Off the top of her head. The way Finn usually does.

  While her skin crawls, Finn smiles confidently. “Sorry about that. I don’t have my notes in front of me. As Zehra says, we’re heading towards six hundred dollars and hoping to get it to a thousand by the end of the term.” Now she’s just making it up as she goes along.

  Mr Granger looks at her for a long moment and then nods. It’s not an admonishing look, but it’s definitely not a “well done, top job” look either. “Okay, good,” he says. “And I suppose the next thing on the agenda for you folk is Speech Night?”

  Finn nods. Speech Night. Crap. She needs to get onto that too. The Year 10s always organise it for the graduating seniors. It’s a tradition. She goes back to treading water. “That’s right. I’m planning on holding the first committee meeting next week.”

  Zehra turns to her. “But—”

  “Great.” Granger turns to Mark. “All right, what’ve you got, seniors?”

  Finn sits back in her seat and shuts her eyes, ignoring Zehra’s nudges. This day has officially reached full-capacity crap.

  CHAPTER 26

  Willa

  So, in conclusion, we can no longer go out. You’re too distracting. And I think I should be officially stripped of my future leader status while we’re at it.

  Willa grins and types, Okay.

  What, you’re not even a little bit upset?

  Sh. Don’t you have work to do? Haven’t you learned your lesson from today?

  All Willa gets in response is the middle-finger emoji. She smothers another smile and slides her phone under her book.

  Opposite her, Eva opens her can of Diet Coke and sighs at her work. She’s been quiet since the holidays. Not that she’s that much of a talker. Especially when Amira’s around, filling every silence. But Eva looks different too. Tired or something.

  Something’s definitely up. For starters, she’s taken to studying with Willa at lunchtimes, instead of hanging with Amira and Holly and the others. Willa suspects it’s got less to do with her company and more to do with whatever’s making Eva quiet. It’s kind of nice to have the company, though. Maybe she’s fighting with one of them. Willa would have no idea if she was.

  Today they’re working on their history essays in the study lounge. There’ll be no chance for Willa to do it tonight. She needs to do the grocery shopping on top of everything else. And Riley will want to come too, just to be annoying, and it will make everything take twice as long.

  Willa pulls out the container of blueberries Maida brought over last night from her trip to the country. They’re delicious. Sweet and chocolate-y in the way Nan says blueberries should always taste. She pushes them towards Eva. “Hey, try these. They’re amazing.”

  “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

  The warning bell rings. While Willa packs up her books, Eva just winds and unwinds a strand of hair around her finger and stares into the middle distance.

  “Is this silence some new technique to get more chitchat out of me?” Willa jokes. “Because I’m not falling for it.”

  There’s a hint of a smile. “I’m sorry. No, it’s not about you.”

  “I know.” Willa hesitates. “Is everything okay?”

  Eva rubs her finger across her bottom lip and shrugs. “Rough holidays.”

  “Me too, if that’s any consolation.”

  “Really? I’ll trade you.” Eva leans back, arms folded, a challenge. Gandry style.

  “Okay.” Willa sits up. “So my Nan had an accident and went to hospital. Then she had surgery and has to be in this rehab place for three weeks while she recovers. Meanwhile I had to get my Dad, who I see maybe once a year, to come down from Queensland to look after us. Only he just kinda hangs around and doesn’t talk and fixes stuff in the backyard, so I have to do everything in the house and look after my brother and sister all the time. Oh yeah, and did I mention Finn was stuck in Tasmania the whole time?”

  Eva nods slowly. “Not bad, Brookes. Okay, my turn. My brother got arrested in Thailand for some stupid fight that happened in a bar. He wasn’t really involved, but then he got involved trying to help someone and ended up arrested—only Dad doesn’t believe that part. Now Luke’s in jail over there, waiting for court. Mum and Dad flew over there a few days ago so they could find him a lawyer, but they wouldn’t let me come. Dad completely lost it. Says Luke has to move out and get a job and sort himself out. And I’m scared he’ll just take off and not come back at all if Dad makes him do that.”

  “Oh, wow.” Willa just blinks at her for a moment. “Okay, I think you win.”

  “It’s not a competition, Willa.” Eva grins, because they both know it always is.

  “
Is your brother going to be okay?”

  “Oh, sure. No one over there—including the lawyer they can barely afford—thinks he’s going to get in real trouble, but he’ll have to leave Thailand. And things are going to be ugly around my place for a while.”

  “So who’s staying with you while they’re gone?”

  “No one. They trust me not to party.” She sighs and points at her books. “I don’t have time to party.”

  “I know what you mean.” As if Willa would even know how to party.

  “How are things with Finn?” Eva asks. “Still good?”

  “Really good.” Willa plays with the lid of her pen. “It’s like Finn’s the one right thing at the moment, if you know what I mean?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Eva smiles. “I’m happy for you. Just remember, if it wasn’t for me, you two might still not be talking to each other.”

  “True,” Willa says, remembering that night at camp when Eva told her that sometimes you just have to compromise if you’re really into someone. “Thank you for that. I owe you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  They smile at each other as the bell sounds across the library. Girls rise like a flock of checked birds, ready to migrate to class.

  “I’m really sorry about your brother and everything,” Willa says as she gathers her things. “That all sounds really stressful.”

  “Me too.” Eva smiles. “I mean, I’m sorry for you too, about your grandmother and your dad weirdness.”

  “Nan will be okay. I just can’t wait for her to get home.” Willa holds out the blueberries again. “Sure you don’t want some? They’re good.”

  Eva sighs like she’s relenting, plucks a single berry from the tray, and pops it in her mouth. “Yum. Let’s go.”

  CHAPTER 27

  Willa

  “Stop it,” Finn murmurs, pushing Willa away. She starts piling up her books and shoving them into her schoolbag. “Mum will be here in five minutes.”

  “You two are gross,” Riley says from the top bunk. “I can hear you kissing, you know.”

  “You’ll be this gross one day too, Riles,” Finn tells her cheerfully.