It's What I Do: A Photographer's Life of Love and War

by Addario, Lynsey

  The people and foundations who have generously given me grants to support long-term projects, and who have exhibited my work: the Nobel Peace Center, Open Society Foundation, Getty Images Grant for Editorial Photography, Ellen Stone Belic Institute for the Study of Women & Gender in the Arts & Media, Visa pour l’Image, Overseas Press Club, United Nations Population Fund, The Library of Congress, and Art Works Projects. A special thank-you to Aidan Sullivan, Leslie Thomas, Jean-François Leroy, Sonia Fry, Christian Delsol, and Jane Saks.

  One of my life’s great honors has been the MacArthur fellowship: I am so grateful to the MacArthur Foundation for recognizing my work and rewarding me with the gift of freedom to follow stories I believed in during the fellowship. This book would not have been possible without your support.

  To James Salter: Thank you for your eloquence, and for allowing me to reproduce a passage from A Sport and a Pastime.

  Donovan Robotham: I appreciate our longtime friendship and working relationship. You kept my finances organized, even when there weren’t any finances to organize!

  The two greatest travel agents in the world, who make themselves available at all hours for obscure destinations: Elif Oguz at Bedel Tourism in Turkey, and Ashu at Sadhana Travels in New Delhi. You have helped get me everywhere I needed to be, when I needed to be there.

  The organizations that do important and fearless work around the world and support me in the field: Médecins Sans Frontières, United Nations Population Fund, The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, and Save the Children.

  The men and women in uniform from the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines: You have helped keep me alive while navigating hostile terrain, and provided great company and a slice of home when we were anything but close to home. Lieutenant Colonel Bill Ostlund, Major Dan Kearney, and the men of 173rd Airborne, Battle Company: Thank you for your hospitality and your courage, and for trusting the integrity of our work. You enabled our uncensored view of life on the front lines in the Korengal Valley and our ability to witness and record the brutality of the war in Afghanistan. Sergeant Larry Rougle, may you rest in peace. Major Jason Brezler, USMC: Thank you for caring deeply about Afghanistan and its people, and for letting me accompany you on that ride in Nowzad.

  A big thank-you to the kick-ass women in uniform who were working on the front lines of war well before women were allowed on the front lines: Captain Emily J. Naslund, USMC; CW3 Jesse Russell; Lieutenant, Nurse Corps, USN Amy Zaycek; Commander (CDR) Rupa J. Dainer; and Master Sergeant Julia Watson.

  All the brave and dedicated interpreters and drivers: I could not have reported or photographed a single story without you. In Afghanistan: Jamila and Saida Emami, Arif Afzalzada, Abdul Waheed Wafa, and Zeba Alem. In India: Jaideep Deogharia, Abhra Bhattacharya, Pradnya Shidore, and Vinita Tatke. In Iraq: Sarah Aldhfiri and Sami al Hilali. The New York Times crew in Iraq, including Abu Malik, Warzar Jaff, Zainab Obeid, Qais Mizher, Husham Ahmed, Waleed al Hadithi, Khalid Hussein, Ayub Noori, and Yerevan Adham; in Lebanon, Hussein Alameh and Waled Kurdi; in Sierra Leone, Hawa Cawker; and in Sudan, Waleed Arafat Ali.

  Sebnem Arsu, Lubna Hussein, Leena Saidi, Ranya Khadri, Sarah Aldhfiri—my female pillars in the region: I simply adore you. You make every assignment in Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Jordan, and Iraq fun, and feel like home.

  To Tyler Hicks, my friend, a tireless, talented, principled photojournalist: Thank you for your companionship and encouragement during those dark days in Libya. Those small gestures pulled me through. Stephen Farrell and Anthony Shadid: Thank you for staying calm and centered, for finding humor in the bleakness, and for being strong and focused in Libya long enough to prevent our imaginations from running wild with the possibility of doom.

  To all my colleagues who have provided the best company in the field and who have grown into family over the years: Ivan Watson, Samantha Appleton, Moises Saman, Tyler Hicks, João Silva, Michael Robinson Chavez, Michael Goldfarb, Spencer Platt, John Moore, Franco Pagetti, Michael Kamber, Quil Lawrence, Bryan Denton, Nichole Sobecki, Paula Bronstein, Kate Brooks, Stephanie Sinclair, Ruth Fremson, Anastasia Taylor-Lind, Carl Juste, Opheera McDoom, Newsha Tavakolian, and Thomas Erdbrink. And Monique Jaques—thank you for always being there to organize my life and images. A special thank-you to Bryan Denton, Michael Goldfarb, Kursat Bayhan, Chang W. Lee, Bruce Chapman, and Landon Nordeman for sharing your pictures with me for this book.

  The photographers at VII Photo Agency: It has been a privilege working with and being affiliated with all of you. You helped me grow as both a photographer and an artist.

  I am so honored to have worked with so many brilliant correspondents, some of whom have had the great misfortune of suffering repeated 5 a.m. wake-ups while I searched for the golden morning light: Lydia Polgreen, Dexter Filkins, Tim Weiner, Alissa Rubin, Rod Nordland, Carlotta Gall, Ann Barnard, Jim Yardley, Elisabeth Bumiller, Sabrina Tavernise, Anthony Shadid, Kirk Semple, Richard Oppel, Bobby Worth, Kareem Fahim, Joe Klein, Aryn Baker, Anthony Loyd, Sara Corbett, Andrea Elliott, Jon Lee Anderson, and Marion Lloyd.

  Dexter Filkins and Ivan Watson: I will eternally be grateful for your company and care in Pakistan after the accident. You are the greatest standin brothers and loyal friends I could ever ask for.

  Kathy Gannon: You have been so generous over the years with your knowledge, contacts, and hospitality in Afghanistan. Fourteen years ago you helped me secure my first visa to Afghanistan when it was under Taliban rule, and with that, you opened the door to so much of my professional career and personal journey.

  To Elizabeth Rubin, for being both a courageous and fun partner in crime in some of the most oppressive places. You have been a role model for many years in your relentless pursuit of the story, and with your passion, humor, and wit.

  Ruth and Larry Sherman: You helped change the course of my life with the invitation to India many years ago. Barbara Tuozzoli: Thank you for bringing me into the darkroom in those early days. Roxanne, Joseph, and Fabiana: You have provided so many years of laughter and love, and will always be extended family.

  I am grateful for the enduring friendships of Tara Subkoff, Jordi Getman, Gabrielle Trebat, Desa Philadelphia, Riva Fischel, Katia Almeida, Sigalle Feig, Alyssa Norton, Cleo Murnane, Lisa Deroy, Vineta Plume, Angela Lekkas, and Candace Feit.

  The Istanbul crew, my family in Constantinople: Madeleine Roberts, Ansel Mullins, Ivan Watson, Jason Sanchez, Behzad Yaghmaian, Suzy Hansen, Paxton Winters, and Karl Vick.

  To Anthony Shadid, Marie Colvin, Tim Hetherington, Chris Hondros, Khalid Hassan, Marla Ruzicka, Raza Khan, Mohammed Shalgouf, and Anja Niedringhaus: May you rest in peace.

  Amanda Urban: Your enthusiasm alone convinced me to write this book. You helped me take a vague idea and make it a reality. Thank you for believing in me, and for holding my hand every step of the way.

  Ann Godoff: I’ll forever be grateful you took on this project. You inspired me to write with your vision for the book, for recognizing my voice in those early days, and for helping me shape my unwieldy manuscript into a coherent text. Thank you to Claire Vaccaro for bringing your creative eye to the layout, to editorial assistants William Carnes and Sofia Ergas Groopman for your help and patience with all my last-minute changes, to Yamil Anglada and Sarah Hutson for ensuring that the book gets out there, to Gillian Brassil for your meticulous fact-checking, to Darren Haggar for the jacket design, and to Matt Boyd, Brittany Boughter, Kate Griggs, and Candy Gianetti for all your work on this project.

  Suzy Hansen: I simply could not have done this without you. You are a true friend, a brilliant friend, a great editor, writer, and partner. You pushed me to write with your questions, you made me relive experiences I had tucked deep inside. You are compassionate, wise, and insightful, and I am eternally grateful and honored you embarked on this journey with me.

  To Paul’s wonderful family: Simon de Bendern, Kass Miskin, Ethel de Bendern, Emma and Neil Simmons—to name a few—thank you for opening your arms to me, and for be
ing the coolest, most loving family next to my own. To the matriarchs, my two grandmothers, Nonnie and Nina, who—at one hundred one and ninety-seven years old, respectively—continue to inspire me every day with their strength, wisdom, and resilience. My sisters, Lauren, Lisa, and Lesley: You are my best friends and role models, and with me wherever I travel. Your husbands: Chris, Joe, and Jer—there aren’t many men who could handle the four Addario women, and thank you for being such wonderful additions to our family. My mother, Camille Addario, who never ceases to amaze me with her love, infinite generosity, and ability to overcome hardship—I hope I can replicate a quarter of that one day. My father, Phillip Addario, and Bruce Chapman: You continue to teach me how to be true to myself, and how to build and maintain an enduring, loving relationship. My family gives me the strength to overcome any and all of life’s adversities.

  To Paul, my true love: I never imagined I could one day find the perfect partner, who fits effortlessly into the chaos of my life. You keep me grounded, and you encourage me to embrace my passion for this work without letting me sink into the world’s darkness. You are selfless in your love and support, and I’m so grateful for every day we share together. You make me a better person.

  And Lukas, my beautiful angel: You bring me an unfathomable amount of joy and love each day. You are the greatest gift of all, and I only hope we can provide you with the life and opportunities my parents provided me.

  Index

  The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. To find the corresponding locations in the text of this digital version, please use the “search” function on your e-reader. Note that not all terms may be searchable.

  Abas Ghar ridgeline, 227–28, 236, 238–39

  abaya (floor-length scarf), 131, 136, 148–49, 155, 161, 251, 319

  Abdul-Ahad, Ghaith, 289

  Abéché, Chad, 177

  Acropole Hotel (Khartoum), 244

  Adams, Ansel, 31

  Addario, Camille (mother), 14, 25–31, 56, 79, 142, 165, 197, 201, 259, 265–66, 269, 295, 301

  Addario, Lauren (sister), 25–26, 30, 78–79, 259, 266, 276

  Addario, Lesley (sister), 26, 30, 78, 266, 276

  Addario, Lisa (sister), 26, 30, 56, 78, 221, 266–67, 276

  Addario, Phillip (father), 14, 25–31, 35, 39, 56, 164, 259, 265–66, 269, 273, 295, 301

  Afghan Embassy, 57–61

  Afghan refugee camps, 59, 92, 98, 101, 107

  Afghanistan, 6, 54, 62, 130, 233, 296, 307, 310

  on assignment in, 2, 7, 20–21, 78, 249, 315

  civilian casualties in, 64, 209–10, 215–16, 225–26, 241–42, 244–45

  foreign journalists in, 70–72, 76–77, 117, 237, 276–77, 309

  getting visa to, 56–61

  photography restricted in, 55–56, 63–65

  and September 11, 84–85, 90, 96

  U.S. war in, 20, 63, 69, 98–103, 112–13, 175, 209–13, 215–22, 236, 240–42, 244–46, 250, 274

  warlords in, 106

  women in, 54–66, 68–69, 71–73, 74, 76, 108, 274

  See also Operation Rock Avalanche; specific provinces; Taliban

  Africa, 175–76, 180, 194, 276, 315–16

  African Union peacekeepers, 316

  aid groups/workers, 130, 177, 185, 188, 196, 319, 324

  AIDS, 128, 195–96

  Ajdabiya, Libya, 1–2, 8–11

  al-Mahawil mass grave, 131, 133

  al-Qaeda, 119, 141

  Alabama, 332

  Ali Babas (Iraq), 160

  American Club (India), 52, 69

  Anderson, Chris, 309

  Ansar al-Islam, 118–21

  anti-American sentiment, 14, 91, 93, 96–97, 100, 113, 120, 136, 139–40

  Aperture Books, 306–8

  Appleton, Samantha, 309

  Arab Spring, 1, 277, 307, 332

  Arabs, 127, 130, 136–37, 151, 163, 176, 188, 282

  Argentina, 20, 33–36

  Ashti Hotel (Iraq), 117

  Associated Press (AP), 20, 34, 37–39, 43, 49, 51–52, 54, 57, 71, 325

  Baathist party, 132–33

  Baghdad, Iraq, 274–75

  bombings in, 146–48

  fall of, 124–25, 127, 131, 134

  journalists in, 113–14, 127–28, 130–31, 138, 145–49, 198, 307

  New York Times bureau in, 145–46, 153–54, 158, 162–64, 277

  U.S. troops in, 113–14, 127

  Bagram Airfield, 238

  Bahai, Chad, 177, 179

  Bahamas, 247–49

  Bahari, Maziar, 289–90

  Bahrain, 277

  Balad Air Base, 132–33, 167, 172

  Banadir Hospital (Mogadishu), 319–21

  Banta, Alyssa, 90, 92, 98–99

  BBC, 117, 130, 186

  Bebeto (AP staff photographer), 37–39, 43, 134

  Benghazi, Libya, 2, 4–6, 9–11, 280

  Bibiane (Congolese woman), 192, 194

  bin Laden, Osama, 56

  Blackwater security, 148

  Bleasdale, Marcus, 191

  Bosnia, 7, 116

  Boston Globe, 51, 54, 109

  Boulat, Alexandra, 101

  Braut, Scott, 114

  breaking-news photography, 92, 96, 107, 175, 191, 227, 262, 270, 273, 329, 333

  Bremer, L. Paul, 134

  British Consulate (Istanbul), 142–43

  British journalists, 154, 159–60

  Buenos Aires, Argentina, 33–36

  Buenos Aires Herald, 34–37

  burqas, 55, 57, 61, 63, 72, 74, 76, 98

  Bush, George, 96, 113, 119, 124, 146, 167

  Calcutta, India, 50, 52

  cameras, 20, 38, 96, 152, 154–55, 257–58

  digital, 89–90, 97, 155, 238, 332

  downloading images from, 238, 241

  experimenting with, 227

  Nikon, 31–32, 35, 56, 89, 223–24, 252, 332

  panoramic, 56

  for photojournalism, 39, 115

  restricted under Taliban, 63–64

  stolen during kidnapping, 13, 15, 281, 299

  taken on patrol, 218, 220

  Camp Blessing, 211–12, 215, 223–24, 236–38

  Camp Vegas, 219–20, 239–40

  Camp Vimoto, 218

  Capa, Robert, 7

  car accident, 21, 255–62, 264–66, 270, 285, 302, 307

  car bombings, 121–24, 142–43, 148, 209, 307

  cars, armored, 150

  censorship, 57, 140, 167, 172, 245

  Chad, 176–77, 179–80, 182–83, 187, 206

  chador, 57, 63, 77, 96

  Chavez, Michael Robinson, 310

  Chechnya, 7, 116, 120, 296

  Chikwendiu, Jahi, 180, 182–83, 186

  Chira, Susan, 296

  Christian Science Monitor, 54, 130

  Cipro, 317

  civil war, 183, 190, 200, 341

  civilian casualties, 333, 337

  in Afghanistan, 64, 130, 209–10, 215, 225–26, 241–44

  during civil wars, 188, 190–91

  in Iraq, 120, 122, 130, 132–33, 153

  Clinard, Sergeant John, 233

  clothing, protective, 2, 114–15, 120, 165, 218, 220, 315

  CNN, 259, 294, 304, 311–12

  Coalition Press Information Center, 139

  Coalition Provisional Authority (Iraq), 134

  Columbio College (Chicago), 191

  communism, 39, 41–42

  Comprehensive Disabled Afghans Program (CDAP), 63

  Congo. See Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC)

  “Congo/Women” exhibition, 191

  Constable, Pamela, 259

  Cooper, Anderson, 304

  Corbis photo agency, 114, 165

  Cuba, 20, 39–43, 62

  Dadaab, Kenya, 315–16, 318

  Darfur, 189, 191, 206, 237, 240, 306–7

  crisis in, 176–80, 183, 186–88, 190

  journey to, 179–80, 182–83, 185–88

  media covera
ge of, 180, 188

  rebel militias of, 176, 180, 182, 185, 186, 190

  refugees of, 20, 177, 179, 187, 190, 205

  de Bendern, Lukas (son), 21, 329–33, 337–38, 341. See also family life

  de Bendern, Paul (husband), 21, 199–207, 218, 239–40, 247–49, 264–70. See also family life

  Delay, Jerome, 101

  democracy, 140, 236

  Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), 7, 20, 189–96, 237, 307

  Djerba, Tunisia, 301

  Doctors Without Borders, 315–17

  documentary photography, 22, 36, 96, 113, 131, 142, 176, 179, 191, 206, 209, 216, 225–26, 240, 242, 339, 341

  drivers, 8, 21, 102, 117, 145, 149, 157, 250, 260, 281, 297, 304, 307, 337

  drought, 315–18, 321

  Durand, Marion, 309

  Dwyer, Johnny, 167

  Eckrode, Specialist Franklin, 233

  Egypt, 1–2, 8, 21, 277

  el-Qaddafi, Muammar, 1–3, 6, 9, 11–15, 281–84, 287, 289, 291, 294, 311

  Ellen Stone Belic Institute for the Study of Women and Gender in the Arts and Media, 191

  embedding, with U.S. troops, 113, 209–13, 217–33, 236–42, 276

  Erbil, Iraq, 116, 338–39, 341

  Erez Crossing, 323–28

  Faiz, Mr. (Foreign Ministry clerk), 70–71, 76–77

  Fallujah, Iraq, 149, 153–54, 172, 262, 270, 339

  family life, 78, 80–83, 198

  balanced with career, 21–22

  childhood, 24–31, 197

  marriage, 21, 248–49, 254, 264–70, 273, 276

  motherhood, 21, 289, 312–13, 323, 328–33, 335, 338

  pregnancy, 210–11, 221, 265–66, 276–77, 289, 311–17, 319, 321–28

  See also de Bendern, Lukas (son); de Bendern, Paul (husband); personal life

  famine/hunger, 108, 177, 272, 318

  Farrell, Stephen, 8–14, 281–302, 308, 323

  Filkins, Dexter, 110, 249–52, 254–55, 259–62

  fixers, 21, 102, 117, 128, 316–17, 337. See also minders

  flak jackets. See clothing, protective

  Foreign Correspondents’ Club (India), 52, 69

  Foreign Ministry (Kabul), 63, 70–71, 76–77

  Foreign Ministry (Libya), 292, 295, 298