I’d been to the shops to buy the list of aphrodisiacs and managed to get them all apart from oysters. I laid the ingredients out on the island in the kitchen, ready to start preparing, but first I looked out the decent china, crystal and cutlery. It’s a shame this never gets used, I thought as I pulled it out from the back of the dresser. While I washed and polished, I remembered something Eve had said before she died, and a wave of regret rose and caught in my throat. ‘Promise me that you’ll live every day as if it’s a special occasion – because it is. Every day is to be celebrated. You never know what’s around the next corner and how many more days you’ll have. So wear your best clothes. Burn the candles put away for Christmas. Use your good perfume. Eat off your best china. Drink from the crystal stacked at the back of the cupboard. Use all that stuff you put away, and make every day a special occasion.’ I’d promised her that I would, then life had taken over and I’d completely forgotten. Until now. ‘I will, Eve. I’ll use all my best.’
I lit candles in the dining room and laid the table. The room looked soft and romantic. We had stopped making an effort for each other, I thought, that’s probably been part of the problem. I remembered our early years, before the boys were born. One night I’d lit the ground floor with candles and strewn the floor with flower petals. OK, so I almost sent the place up in flames due to one of the candles being too close to a curtain, and the floor had looked as if it needed a good hoovering, but the thought was there. I used to regularly buy Matt’s favourite wine, cook him a special meal. He’d bring back the occasional bottle of champagne, buy me unexpected gifts – books he knew I wanted or a CD. After supper, we’d sit and talk, and then came the boys and dinner à deux became endless cooking for four, and when they left came takeaways and the box sets …
The list of ingredients that had aphrodisiac properties was an odd one, so it took a while to find a recipe that would work. I finally settled on a spicy Caribbean dish.
I put on a red apron (found at the back of the cupboard – wear red, seduction tip number 1 from sextipsforthedemented site) and set about frying garlic. I was going to cook white fish with chilli peppers, garlic, mushrooms, sesame seeds, celery to be served in a salad with almonds, aniseed, asparagus, avocado, fennel, pine nuts, with a honey mustard and ginger dressing to be followed with a fruit salad of bananas, pineapple, mango, figs with vanilla ice cream and then chocolate and coffee. Plus a bottle of good Malbec, the one I knew Matt liked.
I looked through CDs in our ancient collection, chose a Sting compilation and put that on.
As I heard Matt come through the front door, I sprayed fig-scented room spray into the air.
‘Wow, smells like a brothel in here,’ he said as he came through and looked around. ‘What’s the occasion? Oh shit. No. Is it our anniversary? It’s not, is it?’
‘Relax, Matt. No, it’s not our anniversary. It’s Friday night,’ I said as I poured a glass of wine and handed it to him. ‘We’ve both had a bit of a rough time lately, so I thought I’d make a special dinner to celebrate.’
‘Celebrate what?’
‘We’ve got the spare rooms ready and it’s looking fabulous. We’re ready to take guests.’
Matt nodded. ‘I guess that is an achievement of sorts. Especially after them both looking such a mess for so long.’
‘Exactly.’
Matt looked touched and came over and put his arm around me. ‘What a nice idea, Cait. So, what are you cooking?’
‘New recipe. I thought I’d be adventurous. How was the gym?’
‘Good.’
‘Are you going to join?’
‘I think I will. There are loads of classes on offer, as well as the machines to work out on Hey, you look nice. Do I need to change?’
‘Only if you want to. No need.’
He went over to the CD player and turned the music down. ‘Sorry. Can’t stand Sting, and you really ought to upload your CDs onto your phone or laptop.’
I decided to give the ‘hold eye contact’ seduction tip number 7 one more go. I stared into his eyes meaningfully but, once again, instead of returning my gaze, he looked worried.
‘Oh god, you’re giving me that look again? Sorry. You like Sting and your CDs, don’t you? I’ll put it back on. Or is there something I should have done? Laid the table?’
I stopped looking at him. Clearly my come-hither look needed practice. ‘No. Just relax. Drink your wine.’
‘OK. I’ll just go and freshen up,’ he said.
‘OK, take your wine with you.’
While he was gone, I went to the mirror to examine my ‘hold the gaze’ look. It was a bit intense – more Hannibal Lecter than Mata Hari. I crinkled my eyes. That’s what was needed, to look softer, more smiley, less Silence of the Lambs. ‘Here’s your supper, Matt,’ I said to my reflection in my best creepy voice, ‘a lump of raw liver with baked beans served with a nice Chianti.’ Or was it fava beans? I did the hissing, sucking-in sound, ‘thuh, thuh, thuh’, that Anthony Hopkins did so well in the movie, just as Matt popped his head round the door.
‘Are you OK, Cait?’
‘Oh yes, just had something caught in my teeth.’
Matt gave me a puzzled look. ‘OK. Just going to take a quick shower if I have time.’
‘Go ahead, Officer Starling.’
Matt shook his head and went back upstairs. He returned after fifteen minutes and I saw that he’d made an effort and shaved. ‘Smells great in here, garlic and spices,’ he said. ‘Anything I can do?’
‘Nope, just relax.’ So far, so good, I thought, as I poured him another glass of wine. Here we are, being nice, making an effort for each other.
I served dinner and sat opposite Matt.
‘This is really thoughtful,’ he said as he took a bite.
I tried to eat slowly and seductively (sex tip no 3,007 from sextipsforpeoplewho’velosttheplot site) as I looked directly at him again.
He put his hand up to his mouth. ‘What? Have I got spinach on my teeth?’
‘No.’
‘Are you OK, Cait? Something gone down the wrong way? You look uncomfortable.’
‘No. I’m fine,’ I said in a low husky voice.
He put down his knife and fork and looked directly back at me. At last, he was getting the hang of it. ‘Cait. Is something wrong?’
‘Wrong? No. Why?’
Matt indicated the room. ‘This. It’s very nice and I appreciate the effort, I really do but … is there something you’re not telling me? Is this leading up to something?’
‘Like what?’
‘No idea. You’re ill? Leaving me? Decided to have a gay relationship?’
‘No. Just because I’ve cooked up a nice supper, why would it mean that there’s a problem?’
‘Because you’ve been acting weird all day. You haven’t been yourself at all.’
‘I’m fine. Honestly. Just eat while it’s still hot.’
He glanced at the CD player. ‘Do you really want music on while we eat?’
‘Yes. It helps with the atmosphere, but turn it off if it’s annoying you.’ Of course, I knew Matt didn’t like music when he was eating. He always complained in restaurants and asked waiters to turn it down.
He took another forkful of the meal.
‘What do you think?’ I asked.
‘It’s different,’ he said as his face grew red, his eyes began to water and he began to splutter. ‘Actually … hell, Cait, what have you put in this?’ He downed a glass of water in one.
‘Chilli. To spice things up a bit.’
‘You’ve certainly succeeded at that. It’s … fiery.’
I took another bite myself, and in a few seconds my mouth was on fire too. ‘God. Sorry. Overdone it. Try the salad. Cucumber.’
The salad was edible but a strange combination, and neither Matt nor I ate very much.
Matt smiled. ‘Fancy a takeaway?’
I smiled back at him. ‘Actually I do.’
‘Pizza or Indian?’
‘Pizza. We could share.’
‘Perfect,’ said Matt. ‘Now. Are you going to tell me what’s going on? I’ve been worried about you.’
‘Honestly?’
Matt nodded. ‘I can take it.’
‘OK. Well, I thought I’d try to revive our love life, so I’ve been trying out some seduction techniques.’
‘Seduction techniques?’ He thought for a moment, then I could see he was struggling not to laugh. ‘Is that what you were doing in the shower and snuggling up to me, giving me meaningful looks?’
‘You might laugh, but I’ve realized that actually I haven’t a clue any more. I’ve grown rusty. What turns you on, Matt?’
‘Er … when you’re not being weird? I don’t know. What’s the right answer? Is this one of those – does my bum look big in this type of questions? Can’t win.’
‘You can. Just give me a clue. Or have you completely given up on us?’
Matt moved his chair close to mine, leant over and kissed me. We both leapt back. We had chilli on our lips and it burnt.
‘Woah. Hot.’
Matt burst out laughing again. ‘You don’t need to do anything, Cait. Just be yourself. I know things have been strained of late and I apologize, but no need for special seduction techniques. I love you just the way you are. Always have. Always will.’
I moved over beside him and we kissed again. I stroked down his arm, his torso, then … the doorbell rang.
‘Who the hell could that be at this time of night?’ I asked.
Matt got up. ‘I’ll tell them to go away.’
I followed him out into the hall and peered through the small frosted window at the side of the front door. I could just about make out two shapes. Whoever it was knocked and rang the bell again.
‘Mum, Mum, is that you?’ asked a familiar voice.
‘Jed? Matt, I think it’s Jed,’ I called as Matt opened the door and we saw two very suntanned, dark-haired young men standing in our porch.
Jed came forward to give Matt a bear hug. ‘Surprise,’ he said and, on seeing me, did the same to me.
‘But I thought you were in Thailand?’ I said.
‘I was,’ he turned to acknowledge his friend, ‘we both were, and now we’re here.’
‘Come in, come in,’ said Matt and ushered them inside. ‘But why didn’t you call?’
‘I … that is we … wanted to surprise you.’
I looked over to the man standing behind Jed. ‘And this is?’
‘Oh sorry, course, this is Martin.’
‘Hi, Mr and Mrs Langham,’ he said.
‘Cait, Matt, please,’ I said.
‘Is it OK? Can we stay a while?’ asked Jed as he dumped his rucksack and bag onto the floor.
‘Yes. Of course,’ I said.
‘Great,’ said Jed, as Martin put his stuff next to Jed’s. ‘We can have my old room right?’
I glanced at Matt and he half laughed, half nodded.
‘OK,’ I said, ‘but we’ve decorated. I’ll explain later. What happened? I thought you had a job and place to stay?’
Jed shrugged and looked at Martin. ‘Time for a change. We thought we’d come back to the UK and see what the job situation is here. If we could use this place as a base, we can check out what’s happening. God, Mum, I’m starving. What’ve you got to eat? Something smells good in here. Where’s Yoda?’
‘Yoda’s gone for his evening walk and there’s plenty of food in the kitchen, come on through. You too, Martin, then I’ll show you where you can put your things for the time being.’
‘And I’m dying for a proper cup of tea,’ said Jed. ‘Been dreaming of it all the way here.’
I ushered Martin into the kitchen, where Jed opened the fridge and helped himself to a carton of apple juice as though he’d never been away. He took a long swig, handed it to Martin then looked around. ‘God, it’s good to be home,’ he said. ‘Let’s have a bit of grub then bed. We’re both cream-crackered. We can have a proper catch-up in the morning.’
I made mounds of cheese on toast, mugs of tea, and Jed filled us in on his last weeks in Thailand.
‘Alex and I parted months ago,’ he told us when Martin went to the loo. ‘Just wasn’t working out. Alex had the roving eye, he was never ready for steady. Martin’s different. He knows who he is and what he wants and he wants me.’
‘So Martin’s your new boyfriend?’ asked Matt.
‘Oh yeah. Didn’t I say that?’ Jed replied through a mouthful of toast, on to which he’d ladled mounds of the chilli dish I’d made earlier. He took a bite. ‘Wow, this food is hot, Mum. What were you trying to do? Kill Dad?’
‘Hope not,’ said Matt, ‘though I wouldn’t put it past her lately.
*
I finished clearing up after the boys around midnight. Matt was already in bed. I could hear the sounds of three people snoring as I went up the stairs to my study where I had a quick look on Facebook on my laptop to see if Tom had been in touch again. All quiet. Couldn’t resist quick quiz to determine which is my weakest chakra. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep without knowing. Hmm. Apparently it’s the throat chakra, which signifies a difficulty in communicating. Rubbish.
So much for my first day of sizzling seduction. Maybe I should just jump on Matt, I thought as I went through to the bedroom and got into bed. No. I’d scared him enough for the time being, so I lay beside him and curled away from him as he was from me. Best-laid plans, I reflected as I realized we wouldn’t be doing Airbnb in Jed’s room for a while. So, our spare-room guests weren’t the ones we’d expected, but that was life and it was wonderful to see Jed.
Clearly, how to seduce one’s partner would have to be a subject for next time I saw Lorna and Debs. Hopefully they’d have more to offer than me and my friend Google.
24
Cait
I looked into Jed’s room to see an unmade bed, clothes strewn everywhere and somehow one of the new curtains had come off its rings and now hung precariously at the window. It stank of dirty socks and that stale biscuit boy smell that was only too familiar.
In the bathroom, there was a strong scent of apple body wash and wet towels all over the floor. Welcome home, Jed, I thought as I set about making the bed, putting the curtain back on its rail then cleaning the bathroom.
*
Matt
Three men sitting on stools at the island in the kitchen. Martin and I were in dressing gowns, Jed in his boxers.
Cait came in, took one look at us and burst out laughing.
‘What’s so funny, Mum?’ Jed asked.
‘I was thinking of that saying “what you resist, persists.”’
‘And what are you resisting?’ asked Jed.
‘Men in dressing gowns,’ she replied, and started washing up mugs at the sink.
Jed looked over to me as if for explanation but I just shrugged.
‘Women are one of life’s biggest mysteries,’ I said.
Jed got up and went and put his arm around her. ‘Hey, Mum, do us the full English, will you? Bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and baked beans. Dad, Martin, you in?’
‘Yeah. Fab,’ said Martin.
I knew she would. She was always a soft touch when it came to spoiling Jed.
‘Sure, the full English,’ she said, ‘but not for me thanks. Matt?’
‘Yes, I’d love some. It is Saturday, after all.’
‘No, I meant – could you make it? Please?’
‘Make it? Oh. Yes. Course I will.’
‘Thank you.’ She came over and touched me gently on the back. ‘You’re a hero.’
I wasn’t sure what had come over Cait of late, but whatever it was, I thought it best to just go along with what she wanted, though most of the time, I hadn’t a clue what that was. She’d been in a strange mood all week, one minute distant and quiet, another acting as psycho-woman and a bit scary; other times, there was the old loving Cait, and then all that talk of seduction last night before the boys arrived. I
was glad when they turned up. Saved by the bell. It’s not that I don’t love Cait – I do, and I still fancy her, but sex just hadn’t seemed to figure in my mind or to be high on my list of priorities lately. Not that I wanted anyone else either but – what is it they say that women want? A man to open the bedroom door for her like a gentleman, then throw her on the bed like a sex-starved ruffian. I needed to be feeling better about myself, about us, before I could be the man in charge in the bedroom. With Cait, I hadn’t seemed able to do or say anything right recently, and it was not conducive to making me feel like making love, in case I got that all wrong too. We needed to make the peace first. But an idea had flashed into my mind last night as I was falling asleep. Cait had said she wondered if we even spoke the same language any more, so I was going to show her that we did and that I understood her unique way of expressing herself. Her language was that of lists, so I intended to speak to her through them. I was going to write a book for Cait. In it would be lists about her, about me, about how to make the most of the next stage of our lives as discussed with Debs – the physical approach, mental attitude, emotional, spiritual. Next time she asked what plans I had for the future, I would present it to her, and I hoped that when she saw the pages written in her language, she would know that I had been listening all along.
‘And we’ve a pile of washing,’ said Jed. ‘We’ve been on the road for days. Should I bring it down, Mum?’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Cait. ‘I looked in your room and your laundry’s already standing up. I am sure it will walk to the utility room by itself.’
‘Hah. Funny, Mum.’
I laughed. It would be nice having Jed home for a while. It would remove some of the pressure from me.
*
Cait
Dancing Over the Hill Page 19