More Precious than a Crown

by Carol Marinelli

  So much on her mind.

  Not just that Clive would be there today.

  It was the first funeral she had been to since her daughter’s, which had been the loneliest day of her life.

  ‘I’m here with you,’ Zahid said, and he could never know just how much those words helped. ‘Now, get ready.’

  He did not avert his eyes as she dressed. There was no point—her scent was on him and his mind would caress her intimately later.

  Right now, though, there was a funeral to attend.

  * * *

  As they took their places in the church Zahid recalled their last conversation. ‘You could almost make family functions bearable.’

  Nothing could make this bearable, though.

  As he stood to read the eulogy, she reminded him of a fragile flower blooming in winter surrounded by the ice of grief.

  He looked at Donald’s wife, Yvette, whose face was etched in bitterness, and wondered about her pain of the last weeks as her handsome groom had faded to the husband from hell.

  Speaking at the funeral of a man you did not admire was a hard task but Zahid executed it well. He spoke of better times, of a younger Donald and family gatherings that...

  Zahid glanced up from the notes he had written on the plane. Even as he had penned them he had known that the words were inaccurate, though the right ones to utter, yet Zahid never lied. His eyes turned to Trinity, who started down at black-stockinged knees, and there was the reason he had kept going back. Having admitted that to himself, he was able to speak the truth then. ‘Family gatherings that I always looked forward to and will remember with deep affection...’ He gave a pale smile as Trinity looked up. ‘While we remember the good times,’ Zahid said, and looked to Trinity, ‘we should not ignore the pain left to us now.’

  It was the only time Donald’s life was painted as anything other than perfect, Zahid realised as the Fosters micro-managed their son’s funeral.

  The cemetery was awful. Zahid watched as Trinity held back despite her mother urging her to step forward.

  Zahid moved and stood beside Trinity.

  The light refreshments were downed with whisky back at the swanky hotel, yet when he wanted to be by her side, the Fosters still kept pulling him away, dragging him into other conversations when he so badly needed to be with her.

  He saw her glance at the clock, knew that again they were running out of time and Zahid excused himself from second cousins and made his way over to the one who came first to him. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fabulous!’ Her smile was as dangerous as her eyes.

  ‘How are you?’ Zahid said again.

  ‘I’m going to lose it in about thirty seconds from now.’

  ‘You’re not.’

  ‘I might.’

  ‘You won’t,’ Zahid said.

  Zahid watched as she pushed on a smile as someone approached and offered their condolences but soon it was just them and she told him a little of what was on her mind.

  ‘I don’t understand how everyone keeps saying he was a wonderful man, how tragic it was and how sudden. I’ve been saying for months that this would happen.’ She could not stand to be here even a moment longer.

  ‘When do you fly?’ Trinity asked.

  ‘In a couple of hours.’

  ‘We could go to my room.’

  ‘I think that would be completely inappropriate,’ Zahid said.

  ‘Aww...’ Trinity smiled that dangerous smile. ‘A playboy with a conscience, how sweet!’

  Crunch went the eggshells beneath his well-shod feet. ‘You know, Trinity, if it wasn’t your brother’s funeral...’ He halted, not just because Dianne had come over but because of the strength of the words he had been about to deliver, because privately he would like to take her aside and rattle her till she behaved, or tip her over his knee and spank her till she conformed.

  He was angry, not just at Trinity but at himself for the foolish moment when he had even considered she might belong by his side, for she could barely behave at her own brother’s funeral.

  ‘We’ve decided to have people back to the house after all,’ Dianne informed her daughter.

  ‘I thought the whole point of having it at the hotel was that you wouldn’t have to ask people to the house.’

  ‘Well, your father thinks we should ask people back so I need you to go and open up and set up the drinks and glasses—’

  ‘I’m not going back to the house.’

  ‘Trinity...’ Dianne had this black smile on in an attempt to disguise the venom in her voice. ‘Go and open up and you are to greet—’

  ‘I told you earlier,’ Trinity said, ‘I’d come to the hotel but I am not—’

  ‘Grow up!’ Dianne hissed. ‘Grow up and show some respect for your brother’s memory.’ She walked off and left Trinity standing, her cheeks on fire with years of suppressed rage.

  ‘I will take you back to the house,’ Zahid said. He knew today must be agony for her, but there was a part of him that was very cross with Trinity. There were things you did, things that simply had to be done.

  He took her rigid hand and led her out to his driver.

  ‘In a couple of hours it will all be over.’

  ‘It will never be over.’

  He could not abide her melodrama. Zahid loathed raw emotion unless it came with an orgasm attached.

  They pulled up at her house and he noticed her cheeks were no longer pink but instead as white as the lilies that had filled the church.

  ‘Let’s just set up then I’m going,’ Trinity said. She let them in and started to pull out glasses from the dresser as Zahid sorted out the drinks.

  Perhaps realising the reception she might get from Trinity, Dianne chose not to ring her daughter when plans changed yet again. Instead, she dialled Zahid. ‘Could you ask Trinity to set up the guest room?’

  Trinity said nothing at first when Zahid relayed the message, she just marched angrily up the stairs and started pulling towels out of the airing cupboard. ‘She’s got a bloody nerve.’

  Zahid was fast losing his patience. Yes, the Fosters were hard work but Trinity was behaving like a spoilt brat and, frankly, he expected more from her.

  ‘Can you just, for five minutes in your life, do the right thing?’ he said, as Trinity opened the guest-room door. ‘Your mother has lost her son.’

  She could hear the front door opening and cars pulling up and everyone starting to arrive, and she was past staying quiet, could not hold it in for even a second longer as she stood in the room where so much had been taken from her.

  ‘She’s lost more than her son,’ Trinity said. ‘How dare she pretend that it never happened? How dare she tell me to set up the guest room when she knows full well what went on in here that night?’

  ‘What night?’

  ‘The night you left me here!’

  Oh, it had been but the tip of her anger back at the hotel, Zahid realised. He knew, with sick dread, the night she was referring to, he knew from the bleached whiteness of her lips and the anguish in her eyes what must have taken place.

  He remembered Dianne telling her to set up the guest room for Elaine and Clive and her fingers grasping his as he’d climbed in the car.

  Zahid even remembered the time.

  Ten minutes after eleven was the moment that now he would regret for ever.

  ‘My aunt’s husband...’ Trinity gagged. ‘After you’d gone, he attacked me.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ZAHID KNEW THAT how he reacted to this was important to Trinity so he fought for calm as he processed the news, but there was a dangerous instinct kicking in. One that might see him head downstairs this very moment, as the funeral party had now arrived, and for once it would not be their daughter who misbehaved.

  ‘You need to let your parents know,’ Zahid said, relieved when he heard his own voice, for it sounded calm, in control, when he felt anything but. ‘They need to know what went on that night and why family functions are so hard for y
ou.’

  He had always been proud of his self-control but he was in awe of it when she responded to him.

  ‘They know.’

  Just two words but they were almost more than he could process. Zahid could hear long breaths coming out of his nostrils as Dianne called up the stairs for Trinity and he struggled to stay calm. ‘Oh, Zahid, your driver said you need to leave.’

  ‘You need to get your flight,’ Trinity said, feeling guilty and panicked for telling him and seeing him fight for control. ‘Please, Zahid, you can’t say anything. It’s my brother’s funeral.’

  He didn’t care what day it was.

  ‘Please, don’t make this worse for me.’

  He pulled her away from the room and wrapped his arms around her in the hall as Zahid for once struggled with what to do.

  There were so many reasons not to do what he was about to, so very many, but he simply could not leave her here.

  ‘Usually now you ask to come with me.’

  ‘You always say no.’

  ‘Not this time.’ He neither knew nor cared what the reaction would be in Ishla, he just shoved away the thought that in a few days he was to dine with Princess Sameena and her family, then Sheikha Kumu three days after that.

  He simply could not leave Trinity here and neither could he stay, because it would be impossible for him not to make a scene.

  If his gaze fell on Clive, Zahid knew, there was no telling what he might do.

  ‘You will leave with me.’

  ‘I can’t just walk out now.’ Even if she had been threatening to just a few minutes ago, the reality was she could not simply walk out and leave, but Zahid had decided otherwise.

  ‘Yes, you can,’ Zahid said. ‘I will sort it all out. You are not staying here to deal with this alone.’ He took her hand and they walked down the stairs and headed to where her parents stood.

  ‘I know it is not the best timing,’ Zahid said, ‘but I am taking Trinity back to Ishla with me.’

  ‘Sorry?’ Dianne blinked.

  ‘I would like to have given you more notice but my return flight has already been arranged.’

  So that his eyes would not drift around the room, Zahid stared down Trinity’s father and almost dared him to protest, but no one would argue with Zahid in this mood. He was nothing but polite yet there was such a black energy inside him that in a matter of moments they were heading to the airport, only stopping at the hotel to collect her small suitcase.

  ‘I only packed for today. All my things are back in America...’

  ‘You don’t need to bring anything,’ Zahid said.

  ‘What about work?’

  ‘We’ll sort that,’ Zahid said, as they neared the airport. ‘Tell me where you work and I will call someone.’

  ‘The Beach Bar.’ Trinity shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter, I’m only casual.’

  ‘I thought...’ Zahid halted and let out a breath. He’d spent weeks making phone calls and trying to find out what library it was that she worked out.

  Another lie.

  What did he know about her?

  Even as they boarded his jet, Zahid was quite sure that any minute she would change her mind.

  ‘What will your father say?’ Trinity asked.

  ‘Don’t worry about that now,’ Zahid said. Usually he would let the palace know if he was bringing a guest but in this instance Zahid felt it would be better to speak face to face with his father.

  As the plane took to the sky the practicalities of whisking her away were starting to make themselves known. Zahid did think of stopping somewhere en route but there was much for him to do back in Ishla.

  He just wanted her away and safe.

  She sat beside him and as the plane levelled out in the sky still she said nothing.

  ‘Do you want something to eat or drink?’ Zahid asked.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Do you want to rest?’

  ‘No,’ Trinity said, but she stood and Zahid watched as she walked towards the sleeping area. Her top was already off. ‘I want you to make today bearable.’

  ‘Trinity.’ He walked in and watched as she stripped off her black clothes. ‘What you need to understand is that once in Ishla we cannot—’

  ‘What I need is one pleasant thing to focus on.’

  ‘Sex won’t make this better.’

  ‘Oh, I think you could be wrong.’

  ‘I’m not wrong,’ Zahid said. ‘When did you last sleep?’

  Trinity couldn’t answer that. Even thinking up an answer to the most simple question hurt too much right now.

  Zahid pulled back the bedding. ‘In.’

  ‘I’m naked, Zahid.’

  ‘If that’s a problem for you I can see if the stewardess can find something for you to wear to bed.’

  ‘It isn’t a problem for me!’ Trinity was so cross that he would not be goaded.

  ‘Well, it’s no problem for me either. Get some rest,’ Zahid said, closing the door on her and taking a seat. But two minutes later she was out, thankfully wearing a robe and blinking at the bright lights.

  ‘Can I have a drink?’

  ‘Do I look like a flight stewardess?’ Zahid said, deliberately turning away. ‘Press the bell by the bed.’

  ‘I don’t want to press the bell.’

  He did not turn round and finally she gave in and went back to bed. He watched as a few moments later the stewardess came and answered her call and returned a few moments later with a tray and a glass of sparkling water.

  But trying to keep her in bed was like trying to squeeze a jack-in-the-box back into a box with a broken clasp.

  ‘There’s a noise.’

  She was back again.

  ‘A rattling noise.’

  ‘Possibly because we are on a plane,’ Zahid answered. ‘Go to bed.’

  ‘I can’t sleep,’ Trinity said, but she did as told.

  For four minutes and forty-five seconds.

  ‘Shouldn’t there be a belt—?’

  ‘I’ll give you a belt,’ Zahid said, standing, and he practically hauled her into the bedroom and threw her onto the bed.

  ‘A leather one?’ Trinity smiled.

  ‘A human one.’ He climbed onto the bed but not in it and lay beside her with his arm clamped over her. He turned her round so she was facing away from him but wedged against him.

  ‘Go to sleep,’ Zahid said.

  ‘I can’t,’ Trinity said, ‘because if I close my eyes...’ So violent was the shudder that racked her, for a moment Zahid wondered if they had hit turbulence, and so loud were the sobs and tears that came then that the stewardess really had no choice but to knock and pop her head into the dark sanctuary in the sky to check if everything was okay.

  ‘She’s fine,’ Zahid said as the door opened. And the stewardess nodded and closed it as Trinity wailed.

  ‘I don’t have tissue.’

  ‘You have a giant one,’ Zahid said, placing the sheet in her hand. And not once, as she sobbed, did he tell her to stop or that she should calm down. He just held her facing away from him, clamped down by him, so there was nowhere to hide.

  ‘I gave him money,’ Trinity sobbed. ‘If I hadn’t...’

  ‘I gave him money too,’ Zahid said. ‘He called me from his honeymoon and said he could not pay the bill. If you want to blame someone, blame me.’

  He could take it.

  ‘I paid for his honeymoon,’ Trinity said. ‘I’ve lived on noodles for a month.’

  ‘I paid for his honeymoon too, half the wedding party probably paid for his honeymoon,’ Zahid said, and his words honed perspective.

  He let her cry and then he let her sleep and he should have left then, Zahid knew. He should have climbed from the bed rather than hold her.

  Zahid had not slept much in recent weeks either.

  With Trinity resting beside him he finally did sleep but a few hours later the first stirring from her had him awake.

  ‘I’m cold,’ she moaned to a universe t
hat did not answer.

  He pulled the blanket higher on her shoulder then moved her tighter in to his embrace.

  ‘Sleep,’ Zahid said. They were five hours into their flight and it was already the most sleep that either had had in a while.

  ‘I’m awake now,’ Trinity said. ‘Sort of,’ she half explained, for she was in that lovely in-between place where things didn’t hurt so much, or was it just that Zahid was beside her?

  Zahid was beside her and they were on their way to Ishla!

  She struggled to duck back into slumber, to not face the problems that surely awaited. He was still on top of the covers and, from the shirtsleeved arm that was over her, still dressed.

  And again she was down to her bra and panties and had been put to bed by Zahid.

  ‘Did I demand sex?’

  ‘You did,’ Zahid said, and smiled to the back of her hair. Then he remembered the reason she was there and the terrible thing that had happened to her. ‘Trinity...’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She had heard the shift in his voice. ‘Please.’

  ‘Okay.’ That she had told him was huge, Zahid knew.

  ‘Is it going to cause trouble, you bringing me back to Ishla?’ Trinity asked.

  ‘Not for you,’ Zahid said. ‘But...’ the ramifications of bringing her home at such a delicate time were starting to hit him. ‘It is my birthday in a couple of days...’

  ‘Will there be a party?’ she nudged.

  ‘No.’ Zahid smiled. ‘After that there are dinners to help make the wisest choice when I choose my bride.’

  ‘Choose me,’ Trinity said, and put her hand up in the air as if answering a question in class, and they both laughed. ‘I’ve never heard you laugh,’ Trinity said, as his hand came up to join hers.

  ‘Neither have I,’ Zahid said, capturing her raised hand and holding it there.

  ‘Will you serve me without question?’ Zahid said.

  ‘I won’t.’

  He felt the resistance as she tried to pull her arm down and it was a game but a sad one for possibly the only way they could discuss it was to have a little play. ‘Do you promise to remember to do your duty as I serve my country.’

  ‘I don’t.’

  ‘And I don’t need to ask if you will obey...’ He released her hand and she moved it down and turned to face him and stared unblinkingly into his eyes.