More Precious than a Crown

by Carol Marinelli

  ‘I had two glasses,’ Trinity lied, for she’d had none.

  ‘Is that all it takes for you to act like a tart?’ Zahid demanded. ‘I don’t get you, Trinity.’

  ‘I never asked you to,’ Trinity said. ‘Am I not being respectful enough for you?’

  ‘No,’ Zahid said. ‘You are not being respectful to yourself.’

  ‘Don’t worry, in an hour or so I won’t be your problem any more.’

  ‘Go to bed,’ Zahid said.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You heard. Go to bed and I will speak with you tomorrow.’

  Even at her supposed worst, he would not let her leave, Trinity realised.

  Zahid, her eyes begged, let me go, for she was terrified what would happen if the king found out she was with child, not just for herself but for the shame it would heap on Zahid.

  ‘Bed,’ Zahid said.

  ‘My flight—’

  ‘Will be cancelled.’

  ‘I want to go home.’

  ‘You are not leaving now. It will all be sorted tomorrow,’ Zahid continued, ‘once and for all.’

  ‘What if I don’t want it to be sorted?’ The grip on her arm loosened. ‘What if I don’t want to be your chosen bride.’

  ‘I understand that you—’

  ‘You don’t understand,’ Trinity choked, because for the first time in her life it was almost impossible to lie. ‘Because you’ve never asked.’

  ‘I thought we felt the same.’

  ‘No,’ Trinity said. ‘We don’t. I don’t want to be your bride.’

  ‘You’re sure?’

  ‘Very sure.’

  Zahid gave a curt nod and she watched as the beautiful man she knew literally disappeared before her eyes, for he was back to yawn-yawn dignified in that second.

  ‘I will have a maid come and sort out your things.’

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  IN A LAND where emotions were considered best contained, it was Layla who broke the rules, for she sobbed loudly as the driver arrived to take Trinity the short distance to the royal jet. ‘I will come with you to the plane.’

  ‘We’ll say goodbye here,’ Trinity said, and hugged her hard. She would miss Layla so much.

  She gave a small curtsy to the king, who gave her a brief nod in return, and then she stood before Zahid and did not know how to say goodbye.

  ‘I will see you to the plane.’

  This time she did not refuse.

  It was a very short drive to the runway, but if it had been a hundred miles it would have gone by too fast for she was saying goodbye not just to Zahid but her baby’s father too.

  ‘I am sorry for my behaviour tonight.’

  ‘It was funny really.’ Zahid gave a pale smile. ‘I’m sure my father has not enjoyed himself so much in years.’

  ‘You’re not cross?’

  ‘Temporarily,’ Zahid said, ‘then you make me laugh.’ He was not laughing now and he only ever had with her. ‘I apologise for assuming,’ Zahid said, as the car pulled up at the plane. ‘I assumed this madness was mutual.’

  ‘Madness?’

  ‘That’s what it feels like,’ Zahid said, and then he looked at her. ‘I enjoyed being briefly insane.’

  ‘You can go back to normal now.’

  ‘I can.’

  She went to embrace him but Zahid pulled back. He was gone from her now. ‘You will have a safe flight.’

  ‘Will?’

  ‘You are on my plane. Do you need anything?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You have not worked, you gave all your money to Donald.’

  ‘I’ll be fine.’

  Sometimes the apple did fall far from the tree.

  ‘I don’t know what to say,’ Zahid said. ‘I never expected to be saying goodbye.’

  Would she call him? Trinity wondered as she looked into his eyes. Would she tell him from the safety of England?

  Would it be cruel to do so?

  For now she just needed to leave.

  ‘Look after yourself better,’ Zahid said. ‘You have every right to stay away from that man.’

  Trinity blew out a breath.

  If her mother had her way, she’d be seeing Clive tomorrow.

  No.

  ‘I’m going to go,’ Trinity said.

  If she didn’t she might just tell Zahid how much she loved him.

  * * *

  The king watched as his son returned to the palace and he felt a rare prick of guilt when he saw the confusion in Zahid’s eyes, for he had not seen that look since Zahid had been seven and the king had lain in a stupor.

  ‘Happy now?’ Zahid shot at his father, as he headed up the stairs.

  ‘You will be,’ Fahid said. ‘It hurts to lose someone you care for.’

  ‘Don’t you ever try to give me advice on this.’

  ‘Her behaviour tonight was shocking.’

  ‘Not to me.’ Zahid halted on his climb up the stairs and turned. ‘She pushes boundaries, she tests you at every turn, she wants to prove she is right in that she cannot trust you. If you knew what she had been through...’ Zahid shook his head. He had never wanted less to be a future king. ‘I’m going to bed.’

  ‘We will speak in the morning.’

  ‘We will speak when I am ready to,’ Zahid said, ‘and that might take some time.’

  ‘There are dinners...’

  ‘Cancel them.’

  ‘Zahid.’ The king attempted reason. ‘Trinity needs to be with her family. It is right she be with them now. Tomorrow they spread the ashes...’

  The king was not scared of danger, he had an army of his own and he would happily lead them, but as Zahid descended the stairs he caught a glimpse of fear.

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘Her mother called. She wants her to join her family to spread the ashes.’

  No.

  A thousand times no.

  Whether she wanted his love or not, he wouldn’t let that happen.

  ‘Why wouldn’t she tell me that?’ Zahid asked himself out loud.

  A lie by omission, but still a lie.

  He could not believe a single word that came from her mouth, Zahid realised, which meant that saying she did not want to be his bride might also be a lie.

  Oh, there was unfinished business between them again and he was not going to wait months or years to address it this time—another sun would not set without this being sorted.

  ‘I am going to England.’

  The King stared at him. ‘I forbid you.’

  ‘Then I defy you,’ Zahid said.

  ‘You cannot defy me.’ The king stared at his son but could only admire him.

  ‘You raised me to be strong.’

  ‘You turn your back on our people, our traditions...’

  ‘If I have to, yes.’ Zahid nodded. ‘Right now, there is someone that I need to be with and I refuse to have her face things alone.’

  ‘You select a bride in a few days...’

  ‘Perhaps I already have.’

  ‘She is not suitable.’

  ‘For who?’ Zahid said. ‘She is more than suitable for me.’

  ‘You know the rules.’

  ‘Change them,’ Zahid challenged. ‘Is that not the point of being a king?’

  ‘It is not as simple as that...’

  ‘It’s very simple for me,’ Zahid said.

  ‘Our people would not welcome her.’

  ‘They would if you did.’

  ‘And if she won’t live here?’

  ‘That is something Trinity and I will discuss but without an ancient rule book over our heads. I am going to England now.’

  ‘She has your plane.’

  ‘Then I will take a commercial flight.’

  ‘Your judgment is blinded by lust.’

  ‘No,’ Zahid said. ‘My judgement is clarified by love.’

  ‘A king must first love his country.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Father. I will not repeat your mistakes.’ Zahid sta
red his father down, and brought up what must never be discussed. ‘Love did not weaken you, Father, it was her death that you could not cope with.’ Fahid had not struck his son in decades but his hand was raised now. ‘You could not cope,’ Zahid said, ‘but I did.’ He looked at his father who stood with his arm raised. ‘I was seven and I coped with the death of my mother. I dealt with your daughter who you could not bear to look at, I fed you with a spoon when you had no will to live.’ Zahid understood then his father’s fear for his children but it made little sense. ‘Would you rather not have chosen her?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘Do you regret a single day spent with your wife?’

  ‘Only her last day,’ Fahid admitted. ‘I did not understand her pain, I thought it was normal for women to scream when giving birth...’

  ‘So did the doctor,’ Zahid challenged his father’s guilt. ‘And the doula too. You lost the woman you loved through no fault of your own. Well, I refuse to play a part in losing the woman that I love.’

  Zahid turned from his father and went to walk out and to summon his driver, but the king called him back. ‘You could have the plane turned around.’

  ‘If Trinity returns to Ishla, it will be of her own accord.’

  Fahid gave in then and looked at his son with slightly shocked eyes, for the day had come where his son was stronger and more knowing than he, a day that for any parent was a challenge, especially when you were king.

  ‘Zahid.’ The king halted him again. ‘There is something that perhaps you should know. Tonight, when Trinity was being inappropriate—’

  ‘I will discuss the behaviour with Trinity, I do not have to discuss it with you. She does not know how to behave on occasion but—’

  ‘Trinity knew exactly what she was doing,’ the king interrupted, ‘because I asked her to misbehave.’

  Zahid frowned.

  ‘I encouraged her poor behaviour. I thought it would be easier on you in the end if you saw just how unsuitable she was.’

  ‘When you say you encouraged, did you and Trinity discuss this?’

  ‘We did.’

  ‘Could I remind you that though you are my father and king—’

  ‘And sick,’ the king added hastily, for he could see the muscle leaping in Zahid’s cheek and that his fist was clenched.

  ‘Lucky for you!’ Zahid retorted, but it strangled near the end and the king did not now fear his son, instead he was devastated for him. For the first time there were tears in Zahid’s eyes and that was something Fahid had thought he would never see.

  ‘Take my plane,’ the king said, and for the first time since before Annan had died he embraced his son. ‘Go to her now.’

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ZAHID HAD BEEN angry about many things involving Trinity, but he had never been truly angry with her.

  That changed as his plane streaked through the sky, trying to make up the hours between them.

  Over and over he replayed last night.

  The snap of jealousy about his walk with Sameena did not equate with a woman who did not want him.

  Little liar, Zahid said to himself.

  He should have known when his father had produced champagne that something was going on. And, no, she had not had even two glasses, for he had never met anyone more clumsy than Trinity last night and she had knocked over her glass...

  Every detail he replayed and, apart from once, that glass had not touched her lips.

  He thought of her cleavage and it had either been one helluva push-up bra or Trinity was pregnant.

  Was that why she had run?

  Was he so formidable that she could not share the truth?

  He was formidable now!

  * * *

  Trinity arrived at Heathrow still dressed in the lilac dress and wearing jewelled slippers, and she startled when she caught her reflection in the mirror as she stepped into the VIP lounge, because what had started to feel normal felt very different here.

  Assuming she would be heading for a taxi rank, Trinity soon found out that luxury didn’t end at the landing of a royal flight.

  A driver was waiting and he asked her where she wanted to go. She asked that he take her the short distance to the airport hotel.

  As she went to check in, instead of asking for a shoebox, Trinity splurged and asked for a nice suite as she pulled out her credit card.

  Well, not splurged.

  She was simply tired of scrimping and foreseeing disaster and crisis when, really, the disasters and crises had not been of her own making.

  When she should possibly be feeling at her most vulnerable and weakest, Trinity felt the strongest she ever had.

  Things changed today.

  Trinity stepped into the shower and decided that if her family wanted her there at such things, there were conditions that needed to be met.

  And if they weren’t met then her family would not be seeing the child she was carrying.

  It was suddenly as simple as that.

  Her time with Zahid had made her stronger rather than weaker; his absolute honesty made it easier for Trinity to know her truth.

  She was too numb to start mourning their relationship, too focused on getting through today to break down.

  She put on the hotel robe and tied a towel round her head and was just sorting out the black clothes to wear for the spreading of the ashes later in the day when there was a knock at the door.

  Assuming it was breakfast or someone to come and check the mini-bar before she let loose on the chocolate, Trinity opened the door without thinking and came face to face with a Zahid she had never seen.

  Oh, she’d seen him angry on occasion but not once, despite all her shenanigans, despite all she had done, never, Trinity realised, had his anger been aimed at her.

  It was now.

  ‘How did you know where I was?’

  She stood back as he marched in and tossed down his case and there was the same start of surprise at the sight of him in robes that Trinity had felt when she’d seen her own reflection in the mirror at Heathrow.

  In England she’d only ever seen him in a suit and being terribly polite.

  ‘Did you collude with my father?’ He towered over her and she tried to stand her ground.

  ‘I think “collude” is a bit of a strong word...’ Trinity attempted.

  ‘Did the two of you decide that you thought you knew what was best for me?’

  ‘No,’ Trinity said. ‘We thought, or rather I knew, you were struggling...’

  ‘Struggling?’ Zahid frowned. ‘What do you mean, struggling?’

  ‘With the decision—’ his temper wasn’t improving, she could hear his angry breathing ‘—as to my suitability, so I thought—’

  ‘You thought you’d make it easier for me?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You thought you’d flirt with my father and pretend to be drunk and that that would improve matters?’ Zahid said, and Trinity swallowed. ‘You thought you that if you misbehaved I’d decide you were too much trouble?’

  ‘I guess.’

  ‘Why don’t we stop guessing?’

  ‘Zahid, the sex is amazing and all that but it’s not going to carry us—’

  ‘You think you’re so good in bed that you defy my logic?’

  ‘No,’ Trinity said. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘You think my judgement is skewed?’

  ‘A bit!’

  ‘What, because I don’t just say to hell with it, just because I don’t decide on a whim to discard everything I have ever believed in, without due thought, you assume I am struggling.’

  No, but she could not tell him that without revealing her truth.

  She just didn’t know how to tell him.

  ‘Is there anything else you haven’t told me?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Are you sure about that?’

  ‘Completely.’

  Zahid picked up her black clothes. ‘Where are you off to today?’

  ‘I haven�
��t made up my mind.’

  ‘Do you want to be my bride?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ Zahid said, ‘because not one honest word has come from your lips since last night. Do you love me?’

  ‘Is it a yes-or-no answer only?’

  ‘Trinity!’

  ‘Yes.’ Trinity smiled. ‘Yes, Zahid, I love you, but given I’m clearly a compulsive liar...’

  She did the wrong thing. Trinity started to laugh at her own joke. ‘Zahid,’ she yelped, ‘what are you—?’

  She never got to finish.

  Trinity had been tipped over his shoulder once before but it was different this time, she was being tipped over his knee.

  ‘What I should have done a long time ago,’ Zahid said. ‘Three times I have come back for you and still you doubt me. I tell you this much! I put up with your drama and your carry-on.’ His hand came down on her bottom through the thick dressing gown and Trinity shrieked, her hands moving to cover her bottom, but he brushed them away and gave her another slap.

  ‘You do not make decisions about us without speaking with me.’ His hand came down again and the wad of material was a hindrance so he ruched it up and brought his hand down on her bare pink cheeks. It stung, it hurt, but the passion that came with the delivery felt delicious to Trinity as he slapped her again.

  ‘You do not lie to me,’ he said, as his hand went to come down again and then stilled. Zahid halted, barely able to breathe as he looked down at her red bottom and realised for the first time he was out of control. ‘Trinity...’ His hand was in mid-air and he waited for her to shout, to tell him what a sick bastard he was, and then he heard her voice.

  ‘One more, Captain.’

  He rarely laughed and he’d never thought he’d be laughing this morning. He was angry, though, still angry as he tipped her off his knee and onto the bed.

  ‘I nearly came,’ Trinity said. She was lying there, smiling up at him, watching as he stripped, and nothing was going to tame her and nothing could in this moment tame him.

  ‘You are impossible,’ he said to a very over-excited Trinity.

  ‘You chose impossible,’ Trinity said. ‘Can we talk about this later?’

  It wouldn’t be much later for he was over her, and he did not need to part her legs for they wrapped around his hips in glee as his mouth crushed hers.