by Leona Fox
Eventually, Kelly gave up trying to figure out whatever it was that Ellen was hiding, and indulged Ellen in talking about the case.
“Well,” she sighed, “you've told me before that most murders are done for either love or money.”
“So you think we should start by going back to basics?”
“Yeah, we should go back to the first two. Henry for money and Diana for love.”
“I really don't think Henry did it. He didn't even know he was in the will, and if Gary did know I don't think he would have been capable of trying to murder Henry. There's too many leaps in logic I have to make for that situation to make sense.”
“Then I guess you have to go and talk to Diana again,” Kelly suggested.
It was the logical thing to do although Ellen didn't envy it because Diana had been through a lot, and the last time they had spoken she made it clear she didn't have much time for them. But for the sake of the case Ellen had to go and bother her again. When she arrived at the shop she waited for Diana to finish with a customer. As soon as Diana saw Ellen enter, her face darkened and a scowl appeared. While she waited, Ellen had a look at a few products and decided to buy a sewing kit to try appeasing Diana a little.
“Somehow I thought I'd see you again,” Diana said. She looked tired and weary, and Ellen felt sorry for her.
“I just have a few follow-up questions. We still need some more information about him.”
“In all honesty I'd prefer just to put the whole thing behind me. It was a mistake and I never should have let myself be taken in by him. You coming around here only reminds me of how stupid I was,” she said, sounding as though she was on the verge of tears. But Ellen's ears pricked up.
“What do you mean?” Ellen asked. “Look, I know this must be hard for you but you obviously cared for him a great deal. If there's anything else you can tell me, then it may help bring his killer to justice, and surely that's something you want?”
Diana closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. For a moment she seemed to be lost in her own world, then slowly she returned to the present. She walked past Ellen and turned the sign on the door to 'closed'.
“Come with me,” she said, walking toward the back of the shop.
Ellen followed her through a curtain to a small kitchen. Diana reached into a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.
“You want one?” she asked. Ellen shook her head.
“I'm going to need it to get through this,” Diana added, then poured herself a shot and slammed it back into her throat, gasping as she let the burn travel through her.
“That's better,” she said, and pulled out a seat around the small table, gesturing for Ellen to do the same.
“Now, this could take a while, but you want the whole story, yes?” Ellen nodded, and Diana launched into her tale.
“Did he tell you about the burns when you met? No, of course not, he never liked talking about them. He always talked of getting a skin graft and ridding himself of them but he never could go through with it. I suppose they had become a part of him. There was a fire you see, when he was younger. The house burned down. His father managed to get Gary out but he went back in to rescue Gary's mom and never came out again. Gary's life was changed that day. His aunt took him in but, from what I understand, Gary was like a ghost.
For a long time, he had to wear bandages around his face and couldn't be outside for risk of infection. So he spent his time reading and watching the world out of his window. Then he went out, finally, only to find people were cruel. Other kids mocked him, and all he could do was endure it. It takes its toll, you know? Gary wasn't...he wasn't the nicest man but I don't blame him for it. I blame everyone else when he was growing up. They should have been nicer to him.
As soon as he could leave this town he did but he came back to visit his aunt. One day we met. I remembered seeing him around. It was a vague memory but it always had remained with me. I'd never been lucky in love. He caught me staring and must have assumed it was because of his burns. He glared at me and I felt so ashamed. I went up to him and bought him a drink. Don't think he was used to kindness. He kept to himself but when we started talking he opened up to me and I saw all of his pain and heartache and I pitied him.
Nobody should go through this life alone and I wanted to be there for him, to show him he was still desirable and wanted, and worthwhile. So we started dating. We took it slowly at first, only really speaking when he came into town every other weekend. Then we started talking on the phone. I never really thought a long distance relationship could work but it was good for a long time. I really thought we had a future together. Even considered moving over there to be with him but then...” she said, and Ellen heard the heaviness in Diana's voice.
“What happened?” Ellen probed.
“I found out he was seeing another woman. How could he do that to me? I'd given him so much, loved him when nobody else would or could. He told me nobody ever had treated him the way I had. I thought we had something special, unique. I'd put my life on hold for him, hoping that one day we would be able to get married and build a life. Then I found out he was seeing someone else in West Callow and I just...I felt like a fool. I loved him with everything I had and it turned out I was just his bit on the side. Or maybe she was the bit on the side? Either way, he was the one who made me feel as though everything I had felt for him was wasted. He took everything I had and just...turned it into this horrible thing.”
She paused for a few moments, reliving the emotional anguish, then seemed to remember who she was talking to, “But I didn't kill him because of it, if that's what you're thinking. Stupidly, I still have feelings for the man. That's the problem with these things. They keep sticking around.”
Ellen felt sorry for the woman sitting in front of her but she finally had another lead, and although she didn't want Diana to have to relive the pain she needed more information.
“What was this other woman's name?” Ellen asked.
“Susan Martin,” Diana replied, and her face turned ashen.
In contrast, Ellen's eyes lit up for she knew she recognized that name from somewhere. She wracked her brain in an effort to remember where, and then it all came back to her. The surname was the name of one of Gary's patients! Suddenly the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle began fitting together. Ellen thanked Diana, who merely shrugged in response. She had brought up the specter of the past and now she had to deal with it.
Ellen left her alone with her bottle, wondering how many more shots it would take for Diana to forget about Gary and the past. Love had left its scars, but it had given Ellen a vital clue she needed. She made haste back to Kelly and the list of patients for a new lead had been found, and suddenly the prospects of solving the case didn't seem as bleak as before. When she found Kelly she barely wasted any breath and simply told her they had to get to West Callow. Immediately Kelly jumped into the car and they drove as fast as possible to West Callow, for it was very likely the murderer was, in fact, in that town.
“So your chat with Diana was profitable?” Kelly asked.
“You could say that,” Ellen replied, and looked over at her friend.
She had seen what a secret had done to Diana and hoped the same fate wouldn't befall her own friend. On the way to West Callow, Ellen called Andy, told him about the latest developments, and was able to get Susan Martin’s address from him. Ellen wondered how Susan would react when she heard the news. Did she even know that Gary was dead, or that he had been seeing Diana?
Chapter 7
“Why are marriages always so fragile?” Kelly wondered aloud.
The two of them were speeding along in Ellen's red car, wasting no time in getting to West Callow. Upon the mention of marriage Ellen's throat tightened but she saw no way to avoid the subject since it pertained to the case. However, it was verging on dangerous territory and she had to be careful with what she said.
“I don't think all of them are.”
“Are you sure about that?
Even when you get married anything could rock it and break it apart. Take Diana, for example. She probably thought she was being patient with Gary and giving him everything he wanted. I doubt it ever occurred to her he was cheating on her and when she did find out that was it...their relationship was over. It couldn't handle the strain. Even Matthew, you know, his marriage fell apart. It's like everything always is destined to end,” she said with a pensive look on her face.
“Even if that were the case the only logical thing to do would be to shut yourself away from any kind of relationship and that's no way to live. I've tried that, and it doesn't work.”
“You might be better off. You save people from the heartache, and yourself. Did I ever tell you about my first boyfriend?” Ellen shook her head.
“I was only fifteen. He was seventeen. It was a brief thing and it was never very serious. We only kissed a few times and held hands, but even that felt like a big deal at the time. He was a man, though, all muscles and tall, and he even shaved. And for some reason he wanted me. I mean, granted, I did develop early but he could have had any girl in his senior class yet he doted on me. And he was kind with it as well, he genuinely cared about me. But I didn't feel the same way as him. I knew after a few months I would have to end it but I didn't know how to go about doing that. So it went on longer than it probably should have. He kept telling me I was the most beautiful girl in the world and he always would love me, no matter what, but that struck me as odd even then. One time I asked him how he possibly could know how he'd feel in the future and he looked at me as though I was mad.
Anyway, I thought long and hard about it but I broke up with him. I told him I thought whatever we had had run its course and that I didn't think we should see each other anymore. I was afraid because I didn't know what was going to happen next. I never expected to see him cry, though. He wept openly, like I'd just destroyed his world. I didn't know what to do. Should I go over and comfort him? But that would have been no good since I was trying to get away from all that. So I sat there and watched him, counting off the seconds. I just couldn't believe I had made someone feel like that, little old me had brought someone to those depths of sorrow. I didn't want that power. I never asked for it, and I never wanted to make someone feel like that again. I suppose that's why I've avoided getting serious about anything because the more serious it gets the harder it is when it ends.”
“I think you're too focused on the fact that relationships do end. That doesn't mean they're worthless or a waste of time. With each relationship you discover something new about yourself. You grow as a person and, to be honest, you're wonderful and you shouldn't feel you have to shut yourself off from other people. Being with you is good for other people as well.”
“I'm scared to hurt Matthew. I care about him a lot but...I think he wants to get married.”
“What makes you say that?” Ellen asked, trying her hardest to not let her voice betray her.
“Just a feeling, I guess, but there's definitely something bothering him. When we started going out I asked him if being divorced put him off the idea of marriage again and he said no. But how can you ever know when you're ready to marry someone?”
“I suppose you're ready when you feel you can give them every bit of your heart and soul, and you can trust them with any secret you've ever had. I also think that being afraid of emotional pain isn't a good reason to cut yourself off from people, because we need that pain to make us appreciate all the good things.”
It wasn't much in the way of advanced philosophy, Ellen thought, but it would have to do for now. She hoped she had helped Kelly in some small way but it was clear Matthew wasn't the only one with a lot on his mind. Shortly after this conversation they reached the address of Susan Martin and pulled up outside.
“Let's see what this one has to say,” Kelly said as she rapped loudly on the door.
Echoing footsteps could be heard beyond the door as they heard a latch being pulled. The door opened slightly, but was still kept on a chain. Two beady eyes peered out at them. Ellen introduced the two of them. Then she explained they were working with the East Pender police on a case involving Gary Speed, and they'd like to ask a few questions. Upon mention of the man's name the door opened and they were faced with a pale, thin woman.
“What is it? Is he okay?” she asked, chewing her lip fretfully. Ellen glanced at Kelly. This was the part of her role she hated the most.
“I think you'd better sit down,” Ellen said, and followed Susan into the lounge where she perched herself on the edge of a seat.
Ellen recounted the fact that Gary had died and as she said it Susan burst into tears. Kelly went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water and placed it into Susan's hands. She proceeded to take small, birdlike sips.
“I knew it. I knew it. I told myself I was worrying over nothing and that he'd come back but I knew that something had happened to him,” she said. “Oh God, this is all such a mess. How did it get up to this?”
Neither Kelly nor Ellen had an answer for her. They waited patiently as Susan digested the news, and when she had caught her breath they launched into their questions.
“Some of this might be difficult to hear,” Ellen began, “but we have to be honest with you and we need you to be honest with us if we're going to get to the bottom of this case.”
“I understand,” Susan said, nodding.
“Can you tell us how you and Gary met?”
“Sure,” Susan said, shifting her position and running her hand through her thin hair. Ellen got the impression it once had been lustrous but a lifetime took its toll on Susan's beauty and her glow had faded through the years.
“It was, um, okay, don't think bad of me, but it was when I took my husband there for counseling. Eric, that's my husband, he'd always had a temper but it had been getting out of hand and one night he'd been drunk and attacked someone over...something stupid. I don't even know what,” she said dismissively, with much bitterness in her voice. It was clear she had little affection for the man to whom she was married.
“But we'd heard good things about Gary and that he actually was able to help people. Of course Eric didn't want to go at first. He said it all would be a waste of time but I talked him into it, and it seemed to go pretty well. I only met Gary in passing back then but Eric spoke really highly of him. One evening I guess I was hanging around and Gary came out to get something from the vending machine. I asked how my husband was doing. Gary said he was doing fine and then...I can't remember what…the vending machine wouldn't work. I think he was trying to get a Twix. He made some joke about it and it just made me laugh. Given everything that had been happening with me and Eric it had been a long time since I'd done that.
I don't know...something just clicked between us, I guess. It was ironic, really. After Eric started counseling he said he wanted to continue because he wanted to repair our marriage but I started seeing Gary. At first I told myself we were just friends, and that it was going to help me to know my husband's therapist. But I was lying to myself.”
“Did you know he also was seeing someone else in East Pender?” Ellen said. Susan nodded slowly.
“He told me he'd been with someone there but he ended it. I know you must think I'm an idiot but it had been a long time since anyone had made me feel desired, and the way he treated me...it made me feel like I was young again and could make up for all the lost years. We spent as much time together as we could but it never seemed enough. I was going to leave him, you know, my husband. Gary and I were going to start a new life together. He said he had it all worked out.”
The realization that the life she had planned for herself was not going to happen now brought tears to her eyes again and she began sobbing. Ellen knew she wouldn't be able to get much more information out of her but she had a couple more questions to ask.
“Did your husband know of your affair? And have you seen him recently?”
Susan nodded. “I think so. He never told me outright but he could s
ense I was pulling away from him. He'd seen me and Gary together when he'd been to counseling. And no, I haven't seen Eric for a while. I thought he understood since we decided to break apart. He wanted us to work things out but I told him that we couldn't. That's why Gary and I wanted to leave, because we wanted to get away from Eric.”
“Did he threaten you?” Kelly asked.
“No, but he didn't have to. I know what he's like. Gary and I just...we just wanted to start a new life together. We made each other happy, in a way that I think we both needed. Gary just said he needed to sort out a couple of last things in East Pender and then we would be happy. And ever since he left I had this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach that something would go bad. Now I don't know what I'm going to do.”
She collapsed in tears and her head fell into her hands. Her body shook and trembled but although it pained them to do so, Ellen and Kelly had to leave. They tried comforting Susan as best they could, but what use was comfort when a future had been torn apart?
“That was rough,” Kelly said.
“Yeah. Strange, isn't it? A man like Gary, who pretty much everyone said couldn't get along with anyone else, ended up getting caught between two women. But I think we have our murderer,” she said as she turned the key and began the drive back to East Pender, where Andy was waiting for them.
Chapter 8
Andy was waiting at the station for them, ready to hear what they had to say. First, he thanked them for going all the way out to West Callow.
“You really could have told me you needed to go out there and I could have sent someone,” he said.
“You know what she's like when she gets excited,” Kelly said, referring to Ellen.