by Leona Fox
“What the hell is this?” he asked.
“It's the same person, isn't it?” she said.
“It has to be. I don't want it to be, but it has to be. It's too much of a coincidence. Somehow, they found me. Whoever this is, they want to repeat the crime. It's happening all over again. Ellen, what am I going to do? What if I fail again?”
He was sitting in his chair with his head in his hands, looking up at her desperately. Ellen went to his side and fell to her knees, clasping his hands in hers.
“This isn't the same case. You're not the same man you were then. Whomever is sending you the letters is playing some sick game but we're going to beat him at it together. We're going to get Scott back and we'll figure out who is doing this, and why.”
Her words were determined and they galvanized Andy. He nodded and rose from his seat, then strode out of his office, gathering a troop of officers to go searching the woods.
“All of you, listen up. There's a possible missing child. This scrap of clothing was found in the woods. We all know how easy it can be for someone to disappear in there. We're going to be treating this as a possible kidnapping but there is a chance the boy just has become lost, and possibly injured. Either way we need to find him as quickly as possible, so gear up and get out,” he barked.
Ellen loved seeing him like this, a man of action, yet she noticed the worrying glint in his eye. The ghost from his past had reappeared and even Ellen was afraid of what it might do. She joined the police on the search and was helping direct the efforts. The officers were like a black swarm, sweeping through the forest, calling out Scott's name. The disturbance was enough to get everyone else in the town interested. Soon enough there were many volunteers who joined in, notably Kelly and Matthew.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be planning your wedding?” Ellen said when she saw them approach.
“Some things are more important than that,” Kelly said.
“I remember Scott from when he came into the cafe. I can't believe anyone would do such a thing. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do something to help,” Matthew said.
“Sadly, there are people in this world who do these things,” Ellen said gravely.
“And we're just lucky there are people like you who do the right thing,” Kelly said. Ellen smiled appreciatively.
“How's Andy doing?” Kelly added.
“He's okay, all things considered. There's, well, there's more going on here than you might think. But I'll tell you about that later,” Ellen said, glancing at all the people around.
They didn't need to know Andy had been receiving letters, not yet anyway. Matthew glanced at Kelly, and she told him she would explain the significance of this case while they were searching. They went off and joined a search party and, soon enough, it felt as though the entire town had turned out to search for Scott. Even his friends had been let out of sports activities to join in with the search. When Andrea arrived she was overwhelmed with the response from the town.
“Quite something, isn't it?” Ellen said when she saw Andrea's reaction.
“I had no idea they all would be here,” Andrea replied.
“They're all good people. They come when they're needed.”
“I just hope they manage to find my son,” Andrea said.
Ellen didn't have anything in reply to that. The day continued and the more hours that went by, the more people began realizing they weren't going to find Scott. Andrea was becoming distraught as some of the search parties returned with bowed heads. Whenever they did so she looked at them to see if there was any sign of her son but there was nothing. Eventually they all had to call it quits.
“You can't just give up; you can't leave him out there!” Andrea cried as she thought of her son locked in some dank hole somewhere, or lost with a broken leg, unable to move, just as the night encroached upon him.
Andy tried reasoning with her, tried saying they had to stop because they'd never stand a chance of finding Scott in the darkness but his words fell on deaf ears, and Andrea had to be dragged away. Not that Andy was much better. After everyone had left he still was standing there, looking into the forest. Ellen walked up to him and stood by his side.
“Come home Andy,” she said softly.
“I should stay out here. I should go in there alone. Scott's there. Somewhere in that forest somebody has him and the longer we wait the harder it's going to be to find him.”
“But this isn't the same case as back then--” she began, but Andy quickly interrupted her.
“Isn't it? So far it's been exactly the same. Whomever is sending me these letters is recreating that case. I didn't do enough then and I'm not going to repeat the same mistakes.”
“You also can't push yourself to the breaking point. If we're going to find Scott we're going to need you at your best, not scrambling around the forest in the dark. Come back with me and get some rest. We'll resume the search tomorrow.”
Her words found a way through to Andy and they returned home, although he understandably was distracted all the way.
“This isn't your fault, you know. Whomever took Scott, that's on them,” Ellen said.
“I know,” Andy replied, although his words were distant.
As soon as he got home he turned to Ellen. “I think I'd rather be alone tonight,” and Ellen was crestfallen, but she didn't want to argue with him, didn't want to cause any more tremors right now.
However, there was a futile air about him, as though their failure was inevitable. She knew she would have to be strong for him and help him get through the coming days. She even thought perhaps she should go back to the well and make a wish herself. If it eventually turned out that Scott had been killed she didn't think there was any way to prevent Andy from giving up everything and spiraling down into depression again. With a heavy heart she drove off and went back home, praying that Andy wouldn't torment himself.
Andy slammed the door behind him and cursed loudly as he took off his uniform and threw it on the floor. He stared at the badge he wore so proudly and sneered at the thought of it. What good did having this power bestowed upon him mean if he couldn't protect the people who needed it most? He walked to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, staring at it. A long time ago he had drunk from this too many times, had fallen down into an abyss and only just managed to climb out of it.
He poured and watched as the golden liquid filled up the glass. He breathed in the harsh scent and closed his eyes, remembering the sweet relief it used to bring him, an escape from his torturous existence. He brought the glass to his lips, then he thought of Ellen and Scott and that he had to be at his best to beat this thing. Somebody was trying to tear him down. He had to be stronger than that. He pushed the glass away and moved to the phone, where he dialed a number he had not used for years. It rang a few times, then a voice answered, surprised to hear from him.
“He's back. I don't know how, but he's back,” Andy said, and his words were met by a stunned silence.
Chapter 5
Ellen was saddened that Andy had told her to leave him for the night. As she drove away she almost wished she had been stronger and had insisted she stay with him. Being alone now...it was probably the worst thing. From what he had told her about his time in the city he had distanced himself from his whole life, and that was the beginning of the problem. Now Ellen feared that history would repeat itself. She tried telling herself it would be different because this time he had her in his life. She would be more patient with him than Louise, his fiancé at the time, had been, and yet part of her worried deeply for him. When she returned home to her empty bed she crawled in and stretched her arms out to the space in which he usually would lay, and with open eyes she silently prayed he would be alright. It wasn't just for Andy's sake that she wanted him to be healthy, but for Scott's as well. If they stood any chance at rescuing the boy, then they would need the police chief at his best.
A restful night did not greet her but she assumed
that this would be the case for most people in the town. Who could sleep peacefully when there was a young boy being held against his will somewhere in the town? The very thought of it shook her to her core. At around two in the morning she rose from bed and did some stretches, then strolled around the house in an effort to calm her mind, for it was not letting her sleep. Her thoughts turned to Andy as she half-considered calling him. She did not expect he was sleeping any better than she was. Yet, she was reticent to reach out after he asked her to be left alone. It was a difficult thing, to see the man she loved take on this burden. She wanted to be there for him, wanted him to know they could face this together but she didn't know how.
All the romantic relationships in her life had been light and breezy. Never had she reached the level where she had to face desperate situations with the other person, the kind of situations that either broke apart a couple or strengthened their bond. Now she worried that this was the latter. She stood leaning against her kitchen counter with a glass of warm milk, staring at the digital clock on the microwave, reminding her that it was a stupid hour of the morning. She promised herself she and Andy would be the second type of couple, the type where they came through adversity hardened and stronger, like a sword forged in blazing fire.
With that decided, Ellen returned to bed and managed to fall asleep fairly peacefully and, though she only got about five hours sleep, she still felt rested. However, when she went to Andy's house first thing in the morning she found him looking disheveled with bags under his eyes and a shadow on his jowls. He shaved every day, and thought it was important as a cop to appear friendly and clean-shaven. His genes were such that he grew a thick beard very quickly. So even though it only had been one night since she last had seen him, the shadow around his jaws was evident.
Usually, when the two of them met, Andy swept Ellen up in his arms and embraced her warmly, showering her with kisses as a display of the affection they held for each other. They always joked they had wasted too much time dancing around the issue and that they needed to make up for it. Yet today, Andy barely grunted at her as she arrived. Then he turned and walked back into the darkness of the house, leaving the door hanging open for her to follow.
It was around eight thirty in the morning and the sun was already bright, yet you would not have known it from stepping into Andy's house. The curtains still were drawn, blocking out the sun. The bottle of whiskey stood on the table. Next to it was a bowl with dregs of cereal and milk at the bottom. Ellen walked through and shook her head, wondering how things could have degraded so quickly. But she only ever had known Andy after he had repaired his life and started again in East Pender. She had no idea what it was like when he was in the clutches of depression, although now she was forming an idea as she saw him sink into it before her eyes. Taking it upon herself to prevent him from drowning too much, she tidied the kitchen and drew back all the curtains on the bottom floor, allowing the golden sunlight to stream in.
Andy had retreated to his office and she soon found him there, hunched over the letters that had been strewn over the desk and the floor. He wore a robe, which was open at the waist. A white T-shirt was clad around his torso and baggy, striped pajama bottoms covered his legs. His feet were bare. His robe flowed behind him as he moved from the desk to the floor, peering at the letters one by one, as though looking at them would reveal a vital clue that would unlock the writer’s identity. Ellen stood in the doorway, a pitying look on her face as she realized the burden of loving someone.
“Andy,” she said, although he didn't seem to hear her at first.
She moved into the room, her feet pressing into the soft carpet. She leaned against the desk. Andy scurried about the floor like a rodent, and Ellen had to repeat his name.
“It's all my fault. All mine. I should have reacted sooner. I shouldn't have kept these to myself. They were a warning. I should have seen it. I thought it was just a prank, some sick joke, and eventually it would go away but it never goes away. I was a fool to think it would and now that poor boy is suffering because of me. And his mother...she blames me, too. I can see it in her eyes. I made a mistake again. I made a mistake last time and I thought I was better. I thought I had become better but I haven't. I'm still the same man. Everything is the same and history is repeating itself. But there has to be something in these letters. There has to be, some clue, something. I just have to look harder. Have to get in them, get inside them,” he said.
Then he fell into an incoherent babble as he bounded around the letters like an animal. Eventually giving into frustration, he grabbed the letters and flung them into the air. Then he brought his knees into his chest and sat in the middle of the floor with chaos all around him.
“Andy, it's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for this. Sure, maybe you shouldn't have kept these letters a secret but that's not why Scott was taken. Whomever is doing this, they're the ones responsible. We just have to stop them, that's all.”
“There is no stopping, don't you see that? This has happened once before and it is happening again. It will repeat itself throughout the rest of time and what am I to do about it? I can't defeat him. He keeps coming back. Taunting me. Somehow I knew...all these years I knew he still was out there and that one day he would come and find me again. I would suffer, and someone else would suffer because of me, someone innocent.”
“Andy, please, let me help,” Ellen said desperately as she fell to the floor beside him and tried wrapping him up in her love, but he was afraid and traumatized.
He pulled away from her and ran to the desk, back to the other letters, and began searching through them again, muttering and mumbling to himself that there had to be some clue. Ellen looked around fretfully, wishing she knew what to do. Never had she been with anyone who had acted like this. She barely could believe this was the same man with whom she had fallen in love. He seemed so different, so...broken, and there didn't seem to be anything she could do. She tried talking to him, tried gathering up the letters and getting through to him rationally but his mind seemed closed to any reasonable thought. He even escaped the room and went through the other rooms pulling the curtains again, casting them in darkness, claiming he was watching. Then he ran back into the office and continued poring through the letters. All this spanned about an hour. Ellen was growing worried because if they didn't make an appearance at the search site people would start thinking something was wrong. She quickly pulled out her phone and sent Kelly a text message.
'Andy and I are dealing with something. May not make it to the site until later. Everything is fine, just let people know we'll join them later,' she typed. She soon got a reply from Kelly, who told her Andrea was a wreck but, other than that, the search was continuing. Then, there was a knock on the door. Ellen looked surprised, and worried, for she didn't want anyone in the town to see Andy like this. They had to think of him as the strong, confident leader or else they would begin losing hope in the search, and that wouldn't do any of them any good. She was about to open the door when Andy rushed past her and flung it open himself.
“I don't know how, but he's back,” Andy said to the person at the door.
Ellen craned her neck to look past him but couldn't see beyond his broad frame. He soon moved back into the house though, and revealed his surprise guest to be a petite woman with gray hair tied back into a tight bun. She wore prim clothes and had narrow glasses that perched at the top of the bridge of her nose. She followed Andy to the office and brushed past Ellen without making any greeting, which instantly put Ellen in a defensive mood. She strode behind them and coughed.
“Excuse me, but who are you?” Ellen said. The woman turned around and looked Ellen up and down.
“My name is May Smith. I was Andy's therapist after the last case. I'm here to help,” she said, then glanced down at the array of papers around the office, “and I can see I'm needed.” She spun on her heels and listened to what Andy had to say.
“He's back. I don't know how but he's back.
After all these years. I got these letters and I tried to believe they were just a prank but yesterday a little boy was taken and it's all happening again,” he said, then hung his head in shame. May looked at him, then turned to Ellen.
“Fetch me a glass of water, dear,” she said.
Ellen complied, sensing that it was for Andy's benefit. When Ellen returned she saw May placing a few pills into Andy's mouth.
“What are you doing?” Ellen asked worriedly.
“I'm helping Andy get back to his best. I did it before and I can do it again,” she said, handing Andy the water and watching him gulp it down eagerly.
She closed her bag and shot a glance at Ellen. “He'll be drowsy for a little while, come and sit down. I think it's best we have a chat.”
She walked through the house as though it were her own. Ellen followed and the two of them took a seat in the lounge. May sighed heavily and Ellen waited expectantly.
“I take it you're the woman in his life?” May said.
“I am,” Ellen replied.
“That's good. It's good he found someone. After Louise and everything that happened I wasn't sure if he ever would find anyone again.”
“What is all this about? I know the past was traumatic for him but he never told me he had a counselor. I thought he just survived by coming here and getting away from the city.”
“And who do you think suggested he take this post in the first place?” May said with an arched eyebrow. Ellen sat back and listened to what the counselor had to say.
“Now then, I don't know how much detail he's told you about what happened but I think it's best we be frank for the sake of Andy and this missing child.”
“I agree.”
“Years ago Andy was a detective in the city, as you're aware. One day the department began receiving letters, written in much the same manner as the ones he has received recently. Whomever wrote the letters claimed he had kidnapped a child and would hold him and prove the police did not have any power. Sadly, he got away with the crime and Andy blamed himself.”