Anything for Her Family

by Sharon De Vita

  “That would be wonderful.” Relief soared through her and she found all of her muscles growing blessedly relaxed. “And that will give me a chance to try to tackle the ‘Lucy the frog-face’ problem with the boys before morning,” she added.

  “Ouch, I almost forgot.” He gave that heartbreaking grin. “I have a feeling, Natalie, that you’re exactly what the boys need.” Pleased, Jared stood up and extended his hand toward her. “Welcome aboard.”

  She stood up in turn, and he caught a hint of her sweetly feminine scent. It had been so long since he’d smelled anything quite so enticingly female that Jared found himself struggling to fill his lungs with the fragrance, wanting to remember it.

  “Thank you, Jared.” Her gaze met his, and for a long, silent moment they stared at each other, neither wanting to admit or acknowledge the strength of the feelings coursing though them.

  Torn between enjoying her touch, Jared finally broke the contact, realizing that having this beautiful, sensual woman in the house, underfoot everyday, teasing his mind and stirring his senses, was going to be might damn distracting.

  Maybe it was about time he followed his brother Josh’s advice. Perhaps he did need to get out and socialize with the opposite sex once in a while.

  Jared didn’t have to make a lifetime commitment, but there was no reason he couldn’t simply go out to dinner now and again with a woman.

  He’d been so gun-shy the past three years, focusing all his attention on the boys, the ranch and his family, that he’d denied himself even that small pleasure.

  Funny, until today he hadn’t realized he’d even missed it.

  Nor had he felt particularly lonely.

  But for some reason, today he felt a profound sense of loneliness for the opposite sex that he hadn’t had in a very long time.

  Maybe he should think about going out on a date. However, he wondered why the idea of going out with a woman didn’t particularly please him—but the thought of perhaps spending more time with Natalie did.

  It both pleased and frightened him, he realized.

  Frightened him enough to recognize a threat when he saw one, especially in the female form.

  Well, he might be a bit lonely, but he wasn’t a fool, he thought with a sudden scowl.

  He was going to heed the internal warnings and ignore the feelings and emotions Natalie’s presence aroused.

  For the boys’ sake, he told himself.

  Definitely for the boys.

  After all, they were all that mattered.

  Chapter Three

  “Do you like bugs, Natalie?” Terry asked, picking the cheese off the top of his pizza and rolling it into a ball before popping it into his mouth.

  “Mmm…bugs?” Natalie repeated absently, as she reached across the dinner table to rescue Terry’s glass of milk before it became a casualty of his elbow. “Why?” she asked with a suspicious lift of her brow, shooting an amused glance across the dinner table at Jared, who looked, she realized, dead tired.

  But then, in the past few weeks since she’d moved in and taken over care of the boys, he’d often looked exhausted.

  She’d had no idea how grueling ranching was, or the hours it required. Her heart went out to Jared when he dragged himself inside the house at night, long after six o’clock the past week or so, totally depleted.

  But no matter how tired he was, he still spent at least an hour with the boys. If he missed having dinner with them, he gave them their evening bath. If he missed that, he at least read them a story each night, taking time and care to make sure he gave both boys some individual attention.

  And love.

  Natalie glanced at Jared now, aware that he’d been looking at her across the table for most of dinner. It made her slightly self-conscious to be the object of his attention. Even when he was exhausted there was no denying his intense masculinity.

  The more she was around him, the harder and harder it became to ignore the sizzling spark of awareness that seemed to ignite the moment they were in the same room, or looked at each other.

  The other day, they’d accidentally brushed against once another in the kitchen. They both froze as if they’d touched a live wire, staring in stunned silence at each other, as if not quite believing the feelings arcing between them.

  Then they’d both judiciously ignored them, simply going about their business as if nothing had happened.

  But something had happened, and Natalie could no more deny it or ignore it than she could ignore the fact that the more time she spent with Jared, the more she had to accept that he was a wonderful, kind, loving, generous, hardworking man.

  She couldn’t help but admire him and his commitment to his family, the boys and his responsibilities. But with that admiration came remorse and regret, mixed with a heavy dose of guilt, because she was deliberately deceiving him.

  One thing she was absolutely certain of: Jared loved the boys—totally, completely and unconditionally, in a way their own father had never loved them.

  Jared was exactly the kind of father she’d always wanted for her sons, the kind of father they deserved. And it made her unbearably sad to know that she was going to have to hurt him.

  When the guilt started eating away at her, she reminded herself that the boys were hers, legally, morally and in every other way. But that certainly didn’t take away from Jared’s love, or the wondrous role he had played in the boys’ lives.

  Nor did it ease her guilt.

  Considering the circumstances, she found herself grateful that her boys had ended up with someone like Jared.

  It warmed her heart to know that in her absence, her children had been well-loved, accepted and taken care of by a man who couldn’t have loved them more if he’d been their real father. The other possibilities frightened her too much to even think of.

  “So, my little lad, what’s this about bugs?” Tommy Ryan asked, reaching across the table to help himself to another piece of pizza. His deep, booming voice still carried a lyrical hint of Ireland, and at the moment, a huge dose of humor. Eyes twinkling, Tommy eyed his young grandsons, love radiating from him.

  “Billy got a new pet.” Terry chomped on his pizza, his cheeks puffed out like a hoarding chipmunk. “And he wants us to keep her while he goes to his grammy’s overnight.”

  “Don’t talk with your mouth full, honey,” Natalie gently reprimanded, using her own napkin to wipe a smear of tomato sauce from Terry’s chin.

  Terry made a great show of swallowing, then grinned his toothless grin at her, making Natalie’s heart soften. She’d never been happier than she’d been these past few weeks, doing what she’d longed to do for her children, what she’d been denied for three years: taking care of them, nurturing them, loving them, being an integral part of their everyday life.

  She couldn’t remember ever being happier.

  “What kind of a pet?” she asked now with a knowing smile, glancing at Tommy affectionately.

  Tommy Ryan had been a bonus she hadn’t counted on. He was, in a word, absolutely wonderful—not only totally devoted to the boys, but totally devoted to his family.

  And he’d accepted her into their lives with good humor, good grace and a welcoming smile.

  When she’d first arrived, it was Tommy who had been home during the day with her, Tommy who had done his level best to make her feel welcome and at ease.

  She utterly adored Tommy Ryan.

  And he, too, was going to be hurt by her deception.

  The thought made her stomach roil, and deliberately, she pushed it away, forcing herself to concentrate on what Terry was saying.

  “It’s a girl pet,” he said with a barely concealed snarl. “Her name’s Matilda.”

  Tommy nodded, eyes glinting with amusement. “Matilda, now that’s a fine, fine name, lad.”

  “Son…” Jared leaned forward, trying not to look amused as he fingered his coffee cup, but knowing the twins well enough to sense there was far more to this than Terry was letting on. “Exactly wh
at is Matilda?” he asked pointedly.

  Terry glanced at his brother, and they exchanged sheepish looks.

  “What?” Natalie glanced from the boys to Jared, and then Tommy. All four males wore identical “gotcha” expressions, making her suddenly wary. She swallowed hard, knowing she was probably going to regret it, but asking anyway. “What is Matilda?” Her gaze shifted from Terry to Timmy, who immediately ducked his head behind his slice of pizza to hide a grin. “An orangutan or something?” she asked. Jared had not been lying when he told her the twins were adventuresome. She’d come to learn they were all of that—and more.

  Terry shrugged. “A stupid girl spider, but she’s cool, anyway.” He stuffed another piece of pizza in his mouth, then grinned.

  “A spider,” Natalie said carefully. “And Billy wants us to, what? Spider sit Matilda while he’s at his grandmother’s?” Her voice crept up a bit in shock.

  “Yup.” Terry’s mop of black hair flopped in his eyes as he shook his head. “His grandma likes lizards.”

  “Well, that is something to be grateful for, I suppose.” Natalie took a sip of her soft drink. “And so what does Billy’s grandmother liking lizards have to do with us watching Matilda?”

  Jared grinned at her, giving her a thumbs-up. She was learning that the boys had a special talent not just for mischief but for roping adults in with half stories. It was just another thing that impressed the hell out of him about Natalie and the way she’d taken over the care of the boys. She was a natural.

  “Well…” Terry began slowly, “Billy’s grandma said he could bring his lizard collection—”

  “Collection?” Natalie all but croaked, nearly choking on her soft drink. “Billy has a collection of lizards?”

  “Course.” Terry shrugged, eyeing the remaining pizza. “It’s not a real collection, though, only about six or seven.”

  “Is that all?” Natalie murmured wryly.

  “And, well, Billy’s grandma doesn’t like spiders.”

  “Well, at least Billy’s grandma and I have something in common.”

  “What?” Terry eyed her owlishly. “Do your teeth come out at night, too?” he asked with a giggle.

  Natalie laughed. “No, sweetheart, I’m sorry, my teeth don’t come out. But I’m not real fond of lizards, either,” she admitted.

  “Why?” Terry was looking at her as if he couldn’t even comprehend the idea.

  “Why?” Natalie blew out a breath, then glanced at Jared, hoping for some help. He just grinned at her. Apparently there’d be no help forthcoming from him. “Well, they’re slimy and creepy, and they slither all over the place.” She could barely suppress a shudder.

  “Yeah, isn’t it great?” Grinning from ear to ear, Timmy reached for another piece of pizza.

  “Terrific,” Natalie said without much enthusiasm.

  “Son, why don’t you tell Natalie exactly what Billy’s grandmother liking lizards but not spiders has to do with us?”

  “Oh.” Terry reached for his milk, gulped it, then set it back down on the table. He went to wipe his milk mustache off his mouth with his sleeve, but caught the look Natalie sent him, and grinned sheepishly, reaching for his napkin. “Well, Matilda’s a tarantula—”

  “Oh my word!” Horrified, Natalie grabbed the edge of the table. “Matilda’s a what?”

  Terry looked at his dad as if to ask “What did I say?” Then he turned to Natalie with a shrug. “A tarantula,” he repeated nonchalantly, shrugging his slender, bony shoulders again. “And she’s cute, even if she is a girl,” he added with an animated scowl.

  “Cute,” Natalie repeated. She shook her head. “How on earth can a tarantula be cute?” She scowled in turn. “And aren’t they dangerous?” Her curious glance encompassed the whole table.

  “Nay, lassie, tarantulas may look fierce, but they’re as harmless as lambs.” Reaching across the table, Tommy gave her hand a comforting pat. “Unless you corner or frighten one, they’re harmless.”

  “Harmless?” she repeated dully, not certain any spider was harmless.

  “Aye, lassie.” Tommy gave her hand another pat. “I promise.”

  Taking a deep breath, Natalie nodded. “Okay, Terry, so tell me, what did you say to Billy when he asked if we’d keep Matilda for him while he went to his grandmother’s?” She was heartily certain she was not going to like his answer.

  “Nuthin’.” He shoveled the last of his piece of pizza into his mouth. “Told him I had to ask you first,” he said, chomping loudly.

  Pleased, touched and surprised, Natalie glanced at Jared. There was warmth and love shining in his eyes as he looked at Terry, and she felt her heart tumble over. The man adored her children, so much it almost broke her heart. She glanced at Terry, felt tears burn the back of her eyes.

  “Oh, sweetheart,” she said softly, getting up to enfold Terry in a hug, brushing a hand through his silky hair and giving him a quick peck on the cheek before he started squirming and getting embarrassed at being hugged in front of everyone. “Thank you. That was very sweet of you,” she said softly, stroking her hand over his head again.

  “Yes, Son.” Jared beamed at Terry. “And very thoughtful to consider Natalie’s feelings.” His gaze shifted to her again, and he felt that familiar bump in his heart he had come to associate with Natalie, only with Natalie.

  In the past few weeks, having her in his life, he’d found himself thinking, daydreaming, wishing—wanting things he had no business wanting.

  At first he’d thought he was just lonely, starved for a woman’s companionship, but now he realized it went way beyond that. There was a warmth of awareness between them, some kind of emotional connection he simply couldn’t explain. He’d thought it was simply because they were so in tune about the boys. Their outlook on raising children, setting limits and boundaries, the way the boys should behave, the values he thought the boys should learn—he and Natalie shared all the same beliefs, which made leaving them in her care so much easier, and eased his own guilt at not being able to spend all his time with them.

  His initial skepticism about her had given way to admiration very quickly. And something more.

  She lavished love, attention and affection on the boys, and they were blossoming under her expert tutelage. She had those very rare qualities of patience, kindness and definitely a sense of humor, all things he’d always thought necessary for a mother.

  Mother.

  The thought came unbidden, surprising him, and Jared felt a flash of guilt. Natalie had quickly become the mother he’d always wished Kathryn had been, the mother his precious boys had always deserved but had never had.

  He no longer worried about the twins when they were with Natalie. She’d lifted the burden of pain and guilt from his shoulders and his heart, so that he could now go through his daily life, knowing with absolute certainty his boys were happy, healthy, safe and, more importantly, loved.

  But in the past few weeks, he was beginning to realize that the unusual, intense emotional connection that seemed to link him and Natalie, was due to a lot more than the boys.

  Jared could no longer deny the impact Natalie was having on him and his wary, scared, scarred heart.

  She was so honest, so genuine, that she allowed him to drop all the barriers he’d erected in order to defend himself.

  He didn’t feel the need to protect himself from Natalie.

  As such, his feelings seemed to spring to life, escaping from the barren outpost he’d banished them to.

  Looking at her now, he felt desire sweep over him, along with something else—admiration.

  Their gazes met, clung, and Jared felt that strong yearning flare to life. A yearning to make her his.

  It was getting stronger and stronger.

  In the weeks since he’d hired her, Natalie had become not only important in the boys’ lives, but an integral part of the family. Even Tommy adored her.

  She’d become necessary, Jared thought, not for the first time. She’d become a nec
essary and much needed part of their existence.

  His brows drew together and he realized a bit absently that sometime during the past weeks, Natalie had unwittingly become an integral part of his life as well—even if she didn’t know it.

  For the first time in years, he had to admit he found himself looking forward to coming home at night, knowing she’d be there. He’d grown accustomed to seeing her first thing in the morning, scrambling around the kitchen, preparing the boys’ breakfast, making their lunches, getting them ready for school, doing all the things Kathryn had never taken time nor wanted to do.

  Jared had no idea how or when he’d started considering Natalie in a way that had nothing to do with her caretaking duties. He’d found himself dreaming about her at night, and thinking about her during the day. Even when she wasn’t near, he could recall her sweetly sensual scent or see her beautiful, smiling face.

  He’d been deeply concerned by his growing feelings, and in an effort to keep things in perspective, had deliberately avoided her except when absolutely necessary, or when his grandfather or the boys were around.

  Like tonight.

  He’d been coming back to the house later and later each evening, hoping to avoid her, and to avoid another sleepless night thinking about her. So he wore himself out with physical labor during the day, only to discover his mental labor at night—thinking about her—kept him awake, anyway.

  He’d forced himself into exile from females out of need and fear. The need to protect himself and the fear that he couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to do so.

  And so now, faced with the prospect of a beautiful, delightful woman who made his children hugely happy, and brought some much needed joy to his own life, Jared found himself questioning his growing feelings toward her.

  So he’d simply avoided being alone with her.

  If she noticed, or if it bothered her, she never said a word about it. Not that he was surprised. Natalie McMahon had not taken one misstep.

  He was just lonely, he’d told himself on more than one occasion. And impressed with how well she was handling the children. Nothing more.