Besides, the notion of Dora as a woman intrigued him too much, and he couldn’t trust himself around her, just yet. He cared too much for her to have her glimpse his lust and mistake it for more than the aftereffects of the golden light. Dora also didn’t need to deal with Zical’s confusing feelings over her transformation. He still thought of her as a computer, not a sexy voice, who had to be feeling very vulnerable that her transformation had gone awry. The last thing he wanted to do was cast doubts about her humanity on top of her other problems. When the doctors couldn’t find a reason for Dora’s physical twitching and uncontrollable muscle spasms, she’d holed up and hidden herself from the few family gatherings he’d attended.
Tessa had finally tracked him down in the gym where he and Kahn had been training. A Rystani woman wouldn’t have interrupted men during combat exercise. But Tessa was from Earth, and she was more skilled than most Rystani warriors in combat and very comfortable in this masculine environment. Normally, Zical would have welcomed her presence, but no man appreciated having an audience for his defeat. Kahn had just thrown and pinned him.
While there was no shame in losing a bout to one of the foremost fighters in the Federation, Zical wondered if the two were teaming up on him. Kahn had him physically exhausted, and then Tessa came straight to the point, ignoring Zical’s muffled groan as he employed aching muscles and a weary psi to shove to his feet.
She shot a look at her husband as sharp as a laser. “Kahn, tell him that if he cares about Dora that he should visit her.”
“Tell him yourself.” Kahn grinned lazily, his eyes full of affection and amusement.
Zical turned to leave, careful to keep his tone casual, as if he had nothing to hide. Although he considered Dora a friend, he didn’t feel close enough to her to intrude on her privacy. “I have to get back to Mount Shachauri.”
He’d spoken no more than the truth. While he’d been saddled with the chore of ferrying engineers and scientists into the mountain, he’d put off making any career choices. But he wasn’t complaining. As much as he missed piloting his starship, his crew was taking a well-deserved vacation, and besides, the alien machinery fascinated him. He also enjoyed listening to the scientists speculate about the find. But if he were honest, as much as he was avoiding Dora, he yearned to see her, curious to know what she looked like. His contradictory thoughts didn’t make sense to him, so he certainly didn’t want to attempt to explain them to Tessa.
But she had that don’t-mess-with-me gleam in her eyes that told Zical he wouldn’t easily escape. In one easy move she blocked his exit. “Oh, no, you don’t.”
Zical glanced to Kahn, but he shrugged. Zical was on his own. “I’m not avoiding her. I’ve attended family gatherings and she’s been hiding in her room.”
“Really?”
Tessa might be slender and short, but she could put more authority into one word than any woman he’d ever met. Right now he had to remind himself they were in the same family, that she was Dora’s friend, and that she wasn’t about to let him go until she’d had her say.
Tessa eyed him and softened her tone. “The doctors can’t find anything wrong with her physically. She refuses to speak with a shrink. I can’t reach her and instead of enjoying her new body, she’s cooped up in her quarters and spending too much time with the computer.”
“So?”
“I think you can help her. She’s always had a special affection for you.”
“Affection? She’s a computer.” Zical played dumb. Dora had always been much more than a computer, but defining her was impossible, although, sassy, smart, and seductive popped into his mind. When Dora had been a computer, her affectionate nature and her teasing sexual innuendos had amused him. But now that she was altered, he wasn’t sure he was ready for her transformation from his sexy computer friend to a genuine woman. Especially, with the golden light turning his nights into restless erotic dreams where Dora’s provocative whispers took center stage, he wasn’t certain he trusted himself to handle a new relationship and he didn’t want to cause Dora more damage.
“She wasn’t born human. But I assure you that she’s one hundred percent human now. Or she was … but she’s spending too much time plugged in to the network.”
“Plugged in?”
“To transfer her personality into her body, she created an electronic link. She can link her brain directly into the computer.”
He read the worry in Tessa’s eyes. “Is this harmful?”
“She’s using the link to escape. To withdraw from her humanity. I thought maybe you could snap her back into having an interest in being human.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Go to her. Talk to her.”
“About?”
Tessa rolled her eyes at the ceiling in disgust. “You want me to write you a script?”
“Did you ever think I might say the wrong thing and make her worse?” Or accidentally give her the impression that he was interested in her as a woman? Because Zical knew how unfair that impression would be. When Dora had been a computer, the flirtation between them was safe and harmless because their friendship couldn’t grow into anything more. But now she had a body.
Tessa’s eyes narrowed on him. She didn’t bother refuting his excuse. “Dora cares about you. I thought you liked her, too.”
Zical glanced at Kahn, his gaze questioning. Kahn crossed his arms over his chest. “Talk to her about anything you like. She’s not responding to us. She’s barely eating or sleeping. It’s eerie the way she closes her eyes, lies motionless for hours. She can’t go on like this or she could die.”
“Die?” Zical’s gut clenched.
He missed his conversations with Dora as a computer. Although the new entity performed assigned tasks well enough, Ranth was male, and his personality was young, not fully formed. Until Dora’s transformation, Zical hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed her constant presence in his life. Whether he was on his ship, in his quarters, or out exploring, she’d always been with him, ready to converse, give information, or simply keep him company.
Knowing he hadn’t lost her permanently, knowing he could visit her had lessened the loss of her company. Still, despite how busy he’d been during the last few weeks, he’d missed her more than he’d have thought possible—perhaps yet another reason he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Ranth simply couldn’t replace Dora, but Zical wasn’t so certain the new Dora could replace her former self.
She was human now. Vulnerable. She could die. He didn’t know if he could cope with the mind-boggling change—especially since they’d both seemed to be having difficulties controlling their bodies—he with an almost overwhelming and constant ache for sex, her with uncontrollable twitches. He recognized his irritability but was at a loss how to solve his problem, never mind hers. The old Dora was strong, brilliant, cheerful, nothing ever got her down. He thought of her as superhuman, almost godlike, with no need for him in her life. But now, the way Tessa spoke of her, she sounded depressed, and if she needed him, he couldn’t turn away, no matter how much he feared that he might do further damage.
“We won’t let Dora die,” Tessa vowed, “even if we have to force feed her.”
“I hadn’t realized …” Zical’s thoughts spun. The idea of losing Dora scared him, but the idea of Dora needing help from anyone was a strange concept. One he couldn’t ignore, one that prodded his protective instincts. Dora wasn’t just part of his crew, she’d once been the most essential member. They’d flown every mission together, and she’d saved his life more times than he could count. If she needed him, he would be there to help. “I will visit her.”
“Good.” Tessa nodded. Zical turned to depart, but she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Perhaps you can think of a way to convince her to leave her quarters. She needs to interact with people. Patching into the computer all the time isn’t good for her.”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’ll leave that up to you.” Tessa hesitated, the
n continued. “Your first instinct may be gentleness, but she needs your strength, not pity.”
Zical’s eyebrows narrowed. Tessa was usually plainspoken, but she was being too vague for a simple starship pilot to fathom her meanings. Or perhaps his churning gut and fear for Dora’s well-being was making him more dense than usual. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“You will when you see her.”
Tessa wouldn’t say more, and he strode toward Dora’s quarters in confusion, but determined to do some good. Tessa’s concern for Dora was very clear, and she didn’t fret the small stuff—an indication of the seriousness of Dora’s condition.
Zical supposed he should have asked more questions, but as his anxiety level rose with his concerns, he realized he had no idea what to expect. Had Dora requested that he visit? Was she expecting him to arrive? Would she allow him into her quarters?
ZICAL KNOCKED on Dora’s door, filled with trepidation. Put him at the console of a sweet little starship and he knew exactly what to do. But dealing with women on personal levels wasn’t in his regular orbit of experience. Praying he didn’t make matters worse, determined to help her if he could, when the door opened he stepped inside.
Her quarters appeared … stark. The walls had no texture or color but remained standard gray. She’d hung no art. Nothing on the walls. No sculptures. The standard lighting, lack of music and scent gave the place a sterile feel. His heart sped with nervous energy. Now that he was finally here, his leashed curiosity ran wild as the mustangi on Zenon Prime. Would Dora welcome him? Would he be able to help her?
“Dora?”
“In here.”
Her voice sounded familiar, very close to the friend he remembered so well. Yet, she seemed distracted, as if involved deep in a holovid. Following the sound of her voice, he entered a dimly-lit corridor. The last door on the left was open, and a light beckoned.
Eager to see what she’d done to herself, he entered the room and frowned. He expected to see a woman he didn’t recognize. So what in the six moons of Gorath was the holosim Xentos doing here? His encounter with the computer-generated holosim had been wiped clean after his departure, and the computer hardware was totally separate from Dora’s. Yet, there was no denying the holosim he’d conjured out of his imagination to take off the edge of his sexual desires was here.
Had Dora copied the program to play a joke on him? He looked more closely at Xentos’s features. A holosim’s face didn’t have the kind of detail she projected. This woman had long, thick eyelashes, delicate coloring, and flawless skin that reflected marvelous cheekbones. She was full of curves, her hair a lush cinnamon, her features perfection. Clothed in swathes of soft violet that set off her bronze skin, she was his fantasy woman. The dream lover he’d conjured out of his imagination. The woman he’d had sex with as he’d fantasized about Dora. She couldn’t be real.
But she was.
Shocked, baffled and highly upset, he controlled his voice. “What in Stars is going on?”
She opened her eyes. Alexandrite in color, her violet suit brought out the deep purple in her irises as her unfamiliar stare caught him off guard. “Hello to you, too.”
Dora’s voice coming from those magnificent lips floored him. He stepped forward. “Are you … alive?”
“Blood and flesh.”
“Dora?”
“It’s me. Yes.”
No.
“I’m human now just like you.”
His stomach tightened. She wasn’t anything like him. She was perfection personified to the nth degree. Stunning. Gorgeous. Her only flaw appeared to be the cord that plugged into her neck, connecting her to the computer system and dividing her attention between him and whatever else she was doing with Ranth. The lack of all expression on her exquisite face reminded him of cold marbalite, reminded him that he’d fantasized over that body, had sex with that body.
Shock gave way to raw worry. By taking the form of his holosim, Dora had exposed her wish to please his senses, and he was so stunned he didn’t know what to think. She must have spied on him, then duplicated the body specifications of the holosim he’d built to entice his preferences, and then transferred her personality into it, replicating his fantasy with a precision that left him flabbergasted, and way too susceptible to her beauty.
“What were you thinking?” He crossed the room in two steps, yanked the cord from the plug in her neck, severing her computer connection as his surge of shock veered into deep worry. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. He wasn’t certain he’d ever follow the customary Rystani-marriage-andchild route after he’d failed so badly with Summar. For Dora to take the form of his simulated lover revealed she had certain expectations of him … expectations that boggled his mind.
She froze, blinked, and her eyes focused with brilliance that stirred his senses even as it revved the shock he made no effort to hide. Seeing his reaction, her face paled, her body shuddered and a muscle spasmed in her neck.
Her voice shook, and she crossed her arms over her chest, a feeble attempt to stop the trembling. “I thought you’d find me beautiful.”
He spoke each word with care, wanting to be honest, yet unwilling to cause her hurt. “You surprised me.”
“I thought you would be happy, honored.” Her tone rang with sincerity but revealed raw anxiety.
“You are beautiful,” he admitted, realizing he’d hurt her. “But your change is going to take some time for me to get used to.”
“Coward.”
She said the word with quiet firmness. Nevertheless, her insult sliced deep and rose up his throat to choke him on the truth. During the first twenty-two years of his life, Zical had lived as a simple hunter. He hadn’t spoken to computers or flown starships. He’d never met anyone who hadn’t been Rystani. During the last seven years, Zical’s life had changed dramatically. He’d met beings from other planets and cultures. Yet the idea of a computer taking the human form of Xentos was so alien to him that he needed time to adjust.
His reaction to Dora’s alteration came from a place he didn’t wish to acknowledge, from the dreams that had taunted him for weeks, from a place he didn’t want to admit he couldn’t control. He wanted to think of himself as open-minded. But in truth, her transformation was so alien a concept to him that he had to keep reminding himself that this woman was the same sentient computer personality who’d been his friend.
Mastering his confusion for her sake, he refocused his thoughts. Tessa had told him that she feared for Dora’s life, but since he’d stepped into the room, Dregan hell, he’d thought only of how he was going to cope with Dora’s transformation. However, in his defense, Dora didn’t look as if she were on the verge of death as Tessa had suggested, appearing more like a goddess than human.
But then he recalled how alien she’d looked when connected to the computer. Her face a mask, her eyes closed, her expression without emotion. She’d sat so still, as if pulled into the world of machines, as if she had no interest in her surroundings.
Their conversation had changed all that. He’d unplugged her, severing Dora’s corporeal connection. Focused on him, she’d become less alien, much more human.
She’d stood up for herself like the old Dora—and her courage as well as the memory of how many times she’d saved his ship and his crew kept him in the room as much as his real desire to help her. She’d actually had the temerity to call him a coward.
He almost smiled, planted his feet wide, tamped down the last of his shock. He’d known that she wouldn’t be the same Dora after she had a body. Okay, he hadn’t expected her to look like Xentos, but he’d known she’d be ignorant about the complexities of becoming human. While it wasn’t fair that he found her breathtakingly gorgeous, he’d get over his extraordinary attraction to her. “I’m not the one hiding in my quarters, afraid to face the world.”
“You have no right to judge me.” Dismissing him, she picked up the cord and was about to plug the end back into her neck.
&nbs
p; “Don’t.”
“Why not?” Her voice broke.
He didn’t know if she lacked the same control over her voice as she did the muscle spasms, but as the shock of her using the body of Xentos ebbed, so did most of his worry about what Dora expected from him. He was left with the uncomfortable knowledge that Tessa had sent him here to make things better, and instead, just as he’d feared, he’d made them worse.
Zical didn’t want to let Dora down. She’d helped his people escape Rystan. She’d helped him and his crew win many battles against the Endekians. She was a … friend. A friend in need. No way could he turn his back on her and live with himself.
His posture remained stiff, but he attempted a smile. “Dora, I’m human and Rystani. We don’t take surprises well.”
“If that’s an apology, then I accept. And I’m sorry if this body has displeased you.” Her manner remained tense, as if she feared that if she relaxed, he’d hurt her again.
An awkward silence rose between them. With every moment that passed, the tension grew more strained. The easy camaraderie he’d once shared with the old Dora was gone. In her place was a stranger, in a body that was way too familiar and yet not familiar at all. He understood that she’d tried to please him by copying Xentos, but Dora was human, not a holosim. She came with feelings that were real, not simulated. He couldn’t turn her off with a switch like Xentos. She’d remember what he said, how he’d reacted to finding her so alien. He should have been more tolerant, and perhaps if he hadn’t been so lacking in sleep due to his dreams, he might have reacted differently.
Rystani Warrior 02 - The Dare Page 7