Strike

by Jennifer Ryder

  I’m frozen in place. His fist connects with my jaw, and I stumble back towards the wall. Pain radiates from the point of contact and I rub my chin, and glance up just as he swings again. This time, I move before it connects.

  “Daddy! No! Stop,” April screams, gripping him from behind. Her arms wrap around his shoulders, and when she jumps onto his back he stumbles, and moves away from me. He rips from her hold, panting heavily.

  “I don’t know what the hell you were thinkin’, getting mixed up with this boy. Just get out, Peaches,” he says to her through clenched teeth. He squeezes her shoulders and moves her closer to the door, and then his blazing eyes settle back on me.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doin’, Jones? You think my girl is gonna be the next one to warm ya bed? Well think again, you lowlife piece of shit. You’re not good enough for her.”

  “It’s not what you think, Mac. It’s not like that—”

  “Tell me then, Jones. Fuckin’ enlighten me.”

  “She means more to me than that. Much more,” I say, my voice thick.

  “I don’t believe you,” he says, and lets out an evil chuckle.

  “It’s true, Daddy. We’re just … more,” April says, her words shaky.

  “I know all too well what you’re like. You have a fuckin’ black book as thick as War and Peace.”

  Mac turns to face me. “You don’t know him at all. I’ve heard too many stories. I only caught him talking to Billy last week about a threesome he’d recently had. If you mean something to him then why did he just shoot tequila and suck face with one of the promo girls in front of the whole damn room?

  “I don’t know what shit he’s spun, but he doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone to give you the world, Peaches. Jones ain’t the one to give it to you. Not when he changes his women like he changes his fuckin’ underwear.”

  “I can explain, April,” I interrupt, trying to remain cool.

  Disbelief flashes in her eyes before her chin quivers and a tear slips down her flushed cheek. Fuck. I knew that conversation with Billy would come back to bite me, but not like this. And I’m never doing tequila with Rocco again. That shit’s just given April another reason not to trust me.

  “Babe.” I move to take her hand, but she steps back and snatches it out of reach. “Save your breath … I thought you were different.” Tears race down her face, and her body shakes.

  I know it’s the wrong time to say it, but I can’t let her leave without her knowing how I feel.

  “But … I love you, April.”

  “I’ll be fucked if you do, Jones,” Mac barks.

  “No, Spencer. Don’t you dare. You don’t get to love me,” April shouts, holding her clenched fist to her heart.

  “Get outta here, Peaches,” Mac says, pointing to the door, his six-foot plus of shadow threatening to swallow me whole.

  She rushes towards the door, but stops short and turns.

  “This is all my fault. I let you do this to me. I believed there was good in everyone … I believed that about you. I opened myself up to this when I should have run from that pretty face and all that swagger. I didn’t fall for you, Spencer. I fucking face-planted. I knew it was happening and I couldn’t stop it.”

  “Just give me a chance to explain!” I shout, my voice desperate. If there wasn’t a giant shadow ready to pound me into oblivion, I’d take her in my arms and not let go until she knew the truth.

  April points her finger at me like she wants to stab me with it. “I haven’t told anyone in a long time that I loved them. But when I said it before they were only words. Tonight I wasn’t just going to say those words. For the first time in my life I was going to feel them.”

  Oh, fuck! This can’t be happening. She was going to tell me she loved me and this has all turned to shit. She has to know this is a big misunderstanding.

  “April, please,” I beg as she zips up her boots.

  “You were always going to destroy my heart, but the sad thing is I’d let you do it again, just to feel what we have … what we had. I thought I’d found my equal. Someone as passionate about life as they were about me.”

  She sobs into her hand and wipes her nose with the back of her knuckles as she picks up her backpack. Her steely gaze hits me like an arrow between the eyes. “I’m sorry I’m not enough,” she whispers.

  The light above her puts a spotlight on the mascara bleeding down her flushed cheeks, ensuring I will never forget the exact moment my heart caved in.

  I blink, and she’s gone.

  “I made it crystal-fucking-clear that Peaches was off-limits,” Mac’s voice booms.

  Goddamn it, he’s still here.

  “How the fuck was I supposed to know she was Peaches? I met April before I knew who she was, Mac. It was too late.”

  “You stay the hell away from her. You understand me?” he growls.

  “I can’t do that. I love her.” My words echo around the small room.

  “Don’t raise your voice to me, boy. Hell, I doubt you even know what love is, and you sure as shit aren’t good enough for my girl. Not by a long shot. She’s not one-night stand material. She’s more than that.”

  “It’s not like that with her. I know she’s special, Mac, believe me. I promise you, you may not think I know what love is, but I do. I haven’t been with anyone else since I met her … I don’t want anyone else. That shit I said to Billy last week was referring to stuff before April. It’s what everyone expects of me, and I regretted not setting him straight. And as for that shit with that skank at the bar, it made my skin crawl like you wouldn’t believe. I thought maybe that shit would stop people being suspicious of April and I until she was ready to tell you about us.

  “April wasn’t ready to talk to you. I guess she wanted to be sure, but I’ve never been surer of anything, Mac. That girl has taken my heart.” It’s true. Now she’s gone, I’ve never felt so empty. I’m surprised I’m still managing to pump blood around my body.

  His eyes soften slightly, but the dark scowl doesn’t leave his face.

  “Mac, you’ve seen me change. I know you have. I’m training harder, racing smarter, all because I have her. She gives me something I never had, and it’s not something I’ll give up without a fight.”

  Mac grinds his teeth, and for a second I think he might hit me again. But I could never hit him back.

  “If you don’t keep the fuck away from her, you can find a new team next year,” he says, delivering each word in a slow, don’t-fuck-with-me tone.

  I’m relieved from his suffocating shadow, and the door slams behind him.

  I slump on the bed. Two minutes ago I had it all: success, love, and a future I’d never been more excited about. Now I could lose it all.

  Today has been the best and the worst day of my life.

  A tear runs down my cheek, and then I cry like a defeated man, not knowing how to fix this. If Mac won’t believe me, there’s no way April will.

  ****

  * APRIL *

  I can’t breathe. The pain squeezing my chest is like a python, killing its prey. You’ve made your mark, Spencer, and the way I’m hurting right now? It’s like you used a sledgehammer to do it.

  Now I’m running in the pissing-down rain, not having a fucking clue how I’m gonna get out of here. I run to the taxi rank around the corner, and there’s three lined up. I run to the first one in line and throw my backpack into the back seat. Dripping wet, I slide across the leather seat.

  “Take me to the airport please,” I choke out.

  “You okay, Miss?” the driver asks. I look up at him, a man probably no older than my dad with a kind face and a weary smile.

  My hands shake as I buckle my seatbelt, and I resist the compelling urge to yell at him that I’m not fucking okay. That the man I love just crushed my heart and broke my spirit. But he doesn’t deserve it. It’s not his problem. It’s nobody’s but mine.

  “Fine. Please. I just need to go,” I beg.

  H
e pulls away from the curb, and I scramble through my bag to find my flight itinerary. I need to see if I even can get the fuck out of here.

  My phone rings.

  Daddy.

  I reject the call. I can’t talk to him. He blames me just as much as Spencer. I lied to him, and he’s only going to lecture me. I can’t take another hit tonight, not from someone else I love. When he’s cooled down I’ll talk to him, but not now. I just need to be alone.

  The phone rings again. This time, it’s Spencer.

  I reject the call and clench the phone tight in my hand to stop myself from hurling it through the front windshield of the taxi. Right now, I don’t want to hear the words from a mouth that just had another woman’s tongue in it, and God knows where else it’s been. Urgh.

  Tears spill relentlessly down my face as I dial the airline to change my flight.

  ****

  Monday

  “Final boarding call for flight 987,” the loudspeaker chimes.

  I open my eyes, wiping the drool from the side of my mouth.

  “Is that your flight, dear?” an elderly lady asks.

  “Huh?” I mumble.

  “Are you going to Sydney?”

  I sit bolt upright in the chair and wince from the pain. I can’t believe that after all the drama changing my flight, and having to fucking sleep here, I could miss the plane. Fuck!

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  I run to the gate, the female attendant scowling at me as I hand her my ticket. I scowl back. Just bloody get me home.

  ****

  I can’t get over Daddy’s comment that Spencer was bragging to Billy about a threesome. Who was it with? Was it Pet? The girl that called his phone that day? Did he run to her when I wouldn’t give him what he wanted, or is he so selfish that he has to have it all? Was it all lies to get me into bed? Am I just another conquest for the manwhore of motocross?

  The redhead that groped him that night at the casino, was that the whole story? Spencer could have stayed with me that night. I wouldn’t have cared how late it was, but he brushed it off without seeing how the evening went. Did he fuck her? He had the opportunity, and he certainly had motive. I’d pushed him past the point of sexual frustration. He was walking around with a frickin’ loaded gun in his pants.

  I can’t even think about him sucking face with one of those skanky hoes. The fact he did that behind my back is just plain mean.

  But he’d jumped out of a plane for me. It wasn’t just the physical act of jumping, I could tell he’d changed. We were connected. I could see the emotion in his eyes when he’d say something or hold me, or kiss me with that stupid third-grader kiss that I’d loved. But there’d be no more kisses from Spencer. Realising this makes me sadder than I’d ever thought possible. He won’t be there to hold me, to touch me, to give me all the intense deep feelings I never knew I could experience.

  This break-up may just be the end of me.

  ****

  When I get off the flight I turn on my phone, ignoring my messages. I’m not listening to any of them. It will only add to the heartache.

  I dial Soph’s number.

  “Hey, babe. What’s up?” she answers, cheerful as ever.

  “Soph, I’m at the airport. Can you come get me?”

  “Sure thing. You okay?”

  As if I could hide the hurt and disappointment in my voice. It was all I could do not the cry on the plane, but I didn’t want to freak out the girl sitting next to me, and I didn’t want to spend the flight explaining my tears.

  “Far from it.”

  “I’ll be there in a flash.”

  ****

  “Hey, babe,” a familiar friendly voice says, a hand squeezing my shoulder.

  I take my head from my hands and look up at Soph. She’s in her work gear; dressed in black from head to toe, her blonde hair tied up in a messy bun. Fuck, I didn’t even think she might be working today, and here she is, having dropped everything to get me. I could have just taken a taxi, but I’ve had enough alone time. I need a friend.

  Soph gives me a soft smile and takes my hand in both of hers.

  Tears spring from my eyes and a loud sob bursts from my mouth. She pulls me to stand and wraps her arms around me. I rest my head on her shoulder and cry—no, I howl, that real ugly kind of cry you don’t want anyone to see. My nose runs, and my tears soak into her shirt. My body heaves and I think I might be sick. I probably need to eat something, but I doubt I could keep anything down.

  Soph doesn’t ask questions, she just holds me. My only friend wraps her arms around me. She is here for me, and I hold onto her like a lifesaver. People are probably staring at us, but I don’t give a fuck. About anything.

  I pull back and stare into her watery green eyes. “I wasn’t … enough … for him,” I blurt out between sobs.

  The muscles in her jaw twitch. “I’ll cut him,” she mutters under her breath, and then kisses me gently on my cheek.

  “Come on, babe. Let’s get you home.”

  ****

  * SPENCER *

  I should be lying on a beach towel beside April in a string bikini. Better yet, watching her sunbake naked on our balcony, smiling like mad, but I’m not. I’m the furthest from that dream I could ever be. The few extra days I’d booked in Coolum was supposed to be time to wind down, and for April and I to spend more time together. Real quality time.

  The sound of the waves crashing to shore does bugger all to calm me. In fact, it’s like they’re taunting me to join them. End my sorrows right here on this beach. Can’t say I haven’t contemplated it since April walked out that door.

  I can’t breathe. The weight on my chest, in my heart, is heavy as hell. It’s suffocating.

  I fucked this up. My first chance at love. The one shot I’ve had at having something real with someone special, and I’ve made a fucking meal of it. I should have corrected Billy when I had the chance. Even if he had of given me shit, there was a way out of it. I just took the easy way. I took the Jones way out.

  I’d wanted to grab April by the shoulders and make her listen to me, but now I can’t. Mac made it perfectly clear that I’m to have nothing more to do with April, or I could kiss my place on the team goodbye. I’d worked too fucking hard, and landed a spot on the most sought-out team with the best mechanics and support crew you could ask for. After taking out the championship, I could have the pick of joining probably any team I wanted, but it’d be like leaving family.

  Mac had looked after me, believed in me, but he loves his daughter above everything. He’d always warned us that he was a big Grizzly when it came to April. And witnessing it first-hand, was scary as shit. My cheekbone was still aching from yesterday’s hit. Damn, Mac has a hell of a right hook.

  I’ve got to talk to someone. Someone who might have half a clue about what I should do. Someone who I can trust.

  I dig my phone from my pocket to dial. A sharp twinge rips through my chest when I see the background photo of April. I should change it. It’s just one more reminder of how much hurt I’ve caused her, and how I can’t have her.

  I dial Stone’s number.

  “Hey, mate,” he says, in an uneasy tone. He must know.

  “You still in Coolum?”

  “Yeah, not goin’ home until tomorrow. Why?”

  “Do you reckon you could meet me for a beer?”

  “Yeah, sure. Just say when.”

  “I can meet you at the club in half an hour?”

  “Sounds good, mate. See ya then.”

  I hope to hell that Stone can give me some clue, any kind of clue as to what to do. I’m drowning here, and I fucking hate it.

  ****

  “Hey, Stone, thanks for meeting me,” I say, handing him a schooner of beer. We grab a stool each and sit at a small round table against the large glass windows facing the water. If only I was in the mood to enjoy the view.

  “Fuck, mate. I’m sorry about what happened with Mac, and April. That totally blows.”

  �
��Yeah it does.” Understatement of the fucking century.

  “Have you spoken to April since?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.

  I shake my head, and tear at the beer coaster beneath my glass. “I can’t.”

  His dark eyebrows pull together, and he leans a closed fist to his hip. “Why the fuck not?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Like how?”

  “Mac said my career on the team would be over if I didn’t stay away from her.” My head falls back and I stare at the ceiling. I take in a deep breath. When I look back at Stone, his pale blue eyes are widened, his jaw slack. “You guys are like … well, family.”

  “Fuck me. He said that? He must really be pissed. Truthfully, I can’t see why the hell he’d wanna cut the golden boy loose. You love her though, right?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  A stupid I-knew-it grin spreads over his face, but then it halts as he raises his scarred eyebrow and points a finger at me. “And you didn’t cheat on her? ‘Cause that shit won’t fly with me.”

  “Fuck no,” I snarl, gritting my teeth in an attempt to supress my rising anger. “I couldn’t do that to her.” I push out a long breath. “April had me wrapped around her little finger from day dot. She’s fucking perfect.”

  “Yeah, she’s definitely one of the good ones,” Stone says and nods.

  “And I’m fuckin’ pissed with that tequila stunt Rocco pulled. Mac couldn’t wait to throw that shit in my face. Just lemon juice into the wound. I never would’ve done it if our relationship was out in the open. It’s no fucking excuse, but I was trying to protect her. If I had my way, I would’ve done tequila with April but, you know, that wasn’t my call.”

  “So what are you gonna do, mate?”

  “I’ve got no fucking idea. There are two things I love, and I’m being made to choose.”

  “If you really love her there’s only once choice to make.”

  Somehow I knew the fucker would say that.

  ****

  * APRIL *

  Friday

  I’m blessed to have a friend like Soph. Blessed. She stayed all week, barely leaving my side. She’d cut back her shifts, and under any other circumstances I wouldn’t have let her, but I’d had no choice. I was terrified to be alone. When I was, my thoughts would only lead to Spencer. I’d replayed every memory over and over, torturing myself. Trying to work out when he had the time to cheat, and if his behaviour had changed at any point. The one time that kept coming back to me, was the morning his phone rang and he ran out of my bedroom like his arse was on fire. And then Pet rang his phone. And then texted. Whoever Pet was, he or she were persistent.