Another Fine Myth ma-1

by Robert Lynn Asprin

  "Urn… Aahz, could we back up to one for a minute? Where are we going to find Isstvan?"

  That stopped him.

  "Don't you know where he is?"

  "I never even heard his name before today."

  We sat in silence staring at each other for a long time.

  Chapter Five

  Only constant and conscientious practice in the Martial Arts will ensure a long and happy life.

  B. Lee

  "I THINK I've got it figured out, kid."

  As Aahz spoke, he paused in honing his sword to inspect the edge. Ever since our trek began he had seized every opportunity to work on his weapons. Even when we simply paused to rest by a stream he busied himself working their edges or adjusting their balance. I felt I had learned more about weapons in the last week just watching him tinker than I had in my entire previous life.

  "Figured what out?"

  "Why people in this world are trained in weapons or magik, but not both!"

  "How's that?"

  "Well, two reasons I can see just offhand. First off, it's a matter of conditioning. Reflexes. You'll react the way you're trained. If you've been trained with weapons, you'll react to crisis with a weapon. If you're trained in magik, you'll react with magik. The problem is, if you're trained both ways, you'll hesitate, trying to make up your mind which to use, and probably get clobbered in the process. So to keep things simple, Garkin only trained you in magik. It's probably all he had been trained in himself."

  I thought about it.

  "That makes sense. What's the other reason?"

  He grinned at me.

  "Learning curve. If what you told me about life expectancy in this world is even vaguely accurate, and if you're any example of how fast people in this world learn, you only have time to learn one or the other."

  "I think I prefer the first explanation."

  He chortled to himself and went back to sharpening his sword.

  Once his needling would have bothered me, but now I took it in stride. It seemed to be his habit to be critical of everything in our world, and me in particular. After a week of constant exposure to him, the only way I would worry is if he stopped complaining.

  Actually I was quite pleased with my progress in magik. Under Aahz's tutelage, my powers were growing daily. One of the most valuable lessons I had learned was to draw strength directly from the earth. It was a matter of envisioning energy as a tangible force, like water, and drawing new energy up one leg and into my mind while releasing exhausted energy down the other leg and back into the earth. Already, I could completely recharge myself even after a hard day's walking just by standing motionless with my eyes closed for several minutes and effecting this energy exchange. Aahz, as always, was unimpressed. According to him, I should have been able to do the energy exchange while we were walking, but I didn't let his grumbling dampen my enthusiasm. I was learning, and at a faster pace than I had dreamed possible.

  "Hey, kid. Fetch me a piece of wood, will you?"

  I smiled to myself and looked around. About ten feet away was a small branch of deadwood about two feet long. I leisurely stretched out a finger and it took flight, floating gently across the clearing to hover in the air in front of Aahz.

  "Not bad, kid," he acknowledged. Then his sword flashed out, cutting the branch into two pieces which dropped to the ground. He picked up one of the pieces and inspected the cut.

  "Hmmm… there may be hope for this sword yet. Why did you let them fall?"

  This last was directed at me.

  "I don't know. I guess you startled me when you swung the sword."

  "Oh, really?"

  Suddenly he threw the stick at me. I yelped and tried to duck out of the way, but it bounced painfully off my shoulder.

  "Hey! What was that for?"

  "Call it an object lesson. You know you can control the stick because you just did it when you fetched it for me. So why did you duck out of the way? Why not just stop it with your magik?"

  "I guess it never occurred to me. You didn't give me much time to think."

  "Okay, so think! This time you know it's coming."

  He picked up the second piece of wood and waited, grinning evilly, which with pointed teeth is easy. I ignored him, letting my mind settle; then I nodded that I was ready.

  The stick struck me squarely in the chest.

  "Ow!!" I commented.

  "And there, my young friend, is the difference between classroom and field. Classroom is fine to let you know that things can be done and that you can do them, but in actual practice you will never be allowed the luxury of leisurely gathering your power, and seldom will you have a stationary target."

  "Say, uh, Aahz. If you're really trying to build up my self-confidence, how come you always cut my legs out from under me every time I start thinking I'm getting someplace?"

  He stood up, sheathing his sword.

  "Self-confidence is a wonderful thing, kid, but not if it isn't justified. Someday we'll be staking one or both of our lives on your abilities, and it won't do us any good if you've been kidding yourself along. Now let's get down to work!"

  "Um… have we got the time?"

  "Relax, kid. Imps are tenacious, but they travel slow."

  Our strategy upon leaving the hut had been simple. Lacking a specific direction for our search, we would trace the force lines of the world until we either found Isstvan or located another magician who would be able to steer us to him.

  One might ask what force lines are. I did. Force lines, as Aahz explained them, are those paths of a world along which its energies flow most freely. In many ways, they are not unlike magnetic lines.

  One might ask what magnetic lines are. I did. I will not quote Aahz's answer to that, but it was not information.

  Anyway, force lines are a magician's ally and enemy. Those who would tap the energies of those lines usually set up residence on or near one of those lines. This makes it easier for them to draw upon the energies. It also makes it easier for their enemies to find them.

  It was Aahz's theory that searching the force lines was how Garkin was located. It was therefore logical that we should be able to find Isstvan the same way.

  Of course, I knew nothing of force lines or how to follow them, at least until Aahz taught me. It was not a difficult technique, which was fortunate as I had my hands full trying to absorb all the other lessons Aahz was deluging me with.

  One simply closes one's eyes and relaxes, trying to envision a two-pointed spear in glowing yellows and reds suspended in midair. The intensity of the glow indicates the nearness to a force line; the direction of the points shows the flow of energies. Rather like the needle of a compass, whatever that is.

  Once we had determined that Garkin had set up shop directly on a force line, as Aahz had suspected, and established direction of the flow of energies, we had another problem. Which way did we follow it?

  The decision was doubly important as, if Aahz was correct, there would be a team of Imp assassins waiting in one direction, very probably in the direction we wanted to go.

  We solved the problem by traveling one day's journey perpendicular to the force line, then for two days parallel to the line in our chosen direction, then returning to the line before continuing our journey. We hoped this would bypass the assassins entirely.

  It worked, and it didn't.

  It worked in that we didn't walk into an ambush. It didn't work in that now it seemed they were on our trail, though whether they were actually tracking us or merely following the force line back to Isstvan was unknown.

  "I keep telling you, kid," Aahz insisted, "it's a good sign. It means we've chosen the right direction, and that we'll reach Isstvan ahead of his assassins' report."

  "What if we're heading in the wrong direction?" I argued. "What if they're really following us? How long do we travel in this direction before we give up and admit it?"

  "How long do you figure it will take for you to learn enough magik to stand up to a pack of
Imp assassins armed with off-dimension weapons?"

  "Let's get to work," I said firmly.

  He looked around, and pointed to a gnarled fruit tree strewn round with wind falls across the clearing.

  "Okay. Here's what I want you to do. Stare at the sky or contemplate your navel or something. Then when I give the word, use your power to grab one of those fruits and toss it to me."

  I don't know how many hours we spent on that drill. It's more difficult than it sounds, mustering one's powers from a standing start. Just when I thought I had it down pat, Aahz switched tactics. He would engage in a conversation, deliberately leading me on, then would interrupt me in mid-sentence with his signal. Needless to say, I failed miserably.

  "Relax, kid. Look, try it this way. Instead of mustering your power from scratch each time, create a small space inside yourself and store up some energy there. Just habitually keep that reserve squirreled away and ready to cover for you while you get set to level your big guns."

  "What's a gun?"

  "Never mind. Just build that reserve and we'll try it again."

  With this extra bit of advice at my disposal the drill went noticeably better. Finally Aahz broke off the practice session and put me to work helping him with his knife practice. Actually I rather enjoyed this task. It entailed my using my powers to levitate one of the fruits and send it flying around the clearing until Aahz pegged a knife into it. As an extra touch of finesse, I would then extract the knife and float it back to him for another try. The exercise was monotonous, but I never tired of it. It seemed almost supernatural the way the shimmering, somersaulting sliver of steel would dart out to intercept the fruit as Aahz practiced first overhand, then underhand, now backhand.

  "Stop it. Skeeve!"

  Aahz's shout jolted me out of my reverie. Without thinking, I reached out with my mind and… and the knife stopped in midair! I blinked, but held it there, floating a foot from the fruit which also hung suspended in place.

  "Hel-lo! That's the stuff, Skeeve! Now there's something to have confidence in!"

  "I did it!" I said, disbelieving my own eyes.

  "You sure did! That little piece of magik will save your life someday."

  Out of habit, I floated the knife back to him. He plucked it from the air and started to tuck it in his belt, then halted, cocking his head to one side.

  "In the nick of time, too. Someone's coming."

  "How can you tell?"

  "Nothing special. My hearing's a bit better than yours is all. Don't panic. It isn't the Imps. Hooved beast from the sound of it. No wild animal moves in that straight a line, or that obviously."

  "What did you mean, 'in the nick of time'? Aren't we going to hide?"

  "Not this time." He grinned at me. "You're developing fast. It's about time you learned a new spell. We have a few days before whoever it is gets here."

  "Days?"

  Aahz was adapting rapidly to our dimension, but units of time still gave him trouble.

  "Run through those time measurements again," he grumbled.

  "In seconds, minutes, hours…."

  "Minutes! We've got a few minutes."

  "Minutes! I can't learn a new spell in a few minutes!"

  "Sure you can. This one's easy. All you've got to do is disguise my features to look like a man."

  "How do I do that?"

  "The same way you do everything else, with your mind. First, close your eyes… close 'em… okay, now picture another face…."

  All I could think of was Garkin, so I pictured the two faces side by side.

  "Now move the new face over mine… and melt away or build up the necessary features. Like clay… just keep that in the back of your mind and open your eyes."

  I looked, and was disappointed.

  "It didn't work!"

  "Sure it did."

  He was looking in the dark mirror which he had fished from his belt pouch.

  "But you haven't changed!"

  "Yes I have. You can't see it because you cast the spell. It's an illusion, and since your mind knows the truth, it isn't fooled, but anyone else will be. Garkin, huh? Well, it'll do for now."

  His identification of the new face took me aback.

  "You can really see Garkin's face?"

  "Sure, want to look?"

  He offered the mirror and grinned. It was a bad joke. One of the first things we discovered about his dubious status in this world was that while he could see himself in mirrors, nobody from our world could. At least I couldn't.

  I could now hear the sounds of the rider coming.

  "Aahz, are you sure…."

  "Trust me, kid. There's nothing to worry about."

  I was worried. The rider was in view now. He was a tall muscular man with the look of a warrior about him. This was reinforced by the massive war unicorn he was riding, laden with weapons and armor. "Hey, Aahz. Shouldn't we.:."

  "Relax, kid. Watch this." He stepped forward, raising his arm. "Hello, stranger! How far to the next town?"

  The man veered his mount toward us. He half raised his arm in greeting, then suddenly stiffened. Heaving forward, he squinted at Aahz, then drew back in terror. "By the Gods! A demon!"

  Chapter Six

  Attention to detail is the watchword for gleaning information from an unsuspecting witness.

  Insp. Clouseau

  THE warrior's terror did not immobilize him long. In fact, it didn't immobilize him at all! No sooner did he make his discovery than he took action. Strangely enough, the action was to lean back in his saddle and begin rummaging frantically through one of his saddlebags, a precarious position at best.

  Apparently I was not the only one to notice the instability of his pose. Aahz sprang forward with a yell, waving his arms in the unicorn's face. Being a reasonable creature, the unicorn reared and bolted, dumping the warrior on his head.

  "By the Gods!" he bellowed, trying to untangle himself from the ungraceful heap of arms and weapons. "I've killed men for less!"

  I decided that if his threat was to be avoided, I should take a personal hand in the matter. Reaching out with my mind, I seized a fist-sized rock and propelled it forcefully against his unhelmeted brow. The man went down like a pole-axed steer.

  For a long moment Aahz and I considered the fallen man, catching our breath.

  "'Relax, Skeeve! This'll be easy, Skeeve! Trust me, Skeeve.' Boy, Aahz, when you miss a call you don't do it small, do you?"

  "Shut up, kid!"

  He was rummaging through his pouch again. "I don't want to shut up, I want to know what happened to the 'foolproof spell you taught me."

  "I was kind of wondering that myself." He had produced the mirror again and was peering into it. "Tell you what, kid. Check his aura and watch for anything unusual."

  "'Shut up, kid! Check his aura, kid!' You'd think I was some kind of…. Hey!"

  "What is it?"

  "His aura! It's a sort of a reddish yellow except there's a blue patch on his chest."

  "I thought so!!" Aahz was across the clearing in a bound, crouching at the fallen man like a beast of prey. "Look at this!!"

  On a thong around the man's neck was a crude silver charm depicting a salamander with one eye in the center of its forehead.

  "What is it?"

  "I'm not sure, but I've got a hunch. Now play along with me on this. I want you to remove the shape warp spell."

  "What spell?"

  "C'mon, kid, wake up! The spell that's changing my face."

  "That's what I mean. What spell?"

  "Now look, kid! Don't give me a lot of back talk. Just do it! He'll be waking up soon."

  With a sigh I shut my eyes and set about the seemingly pointless task. It was easier this time, imagining Garkin's face, then melting away the features until Aahz's face was leering at me in my mind's eye. I opened my eyes and looked at Aahz. He looked like Aahz. Terrific.

  "Now what?"

  As if in answer, the warrior groaned and sat up. He shook his head as if to clear
it and opened his eyes. His gaze fell on Aahz, whereupon he blinked, looked again, and reached for his sword, only to find it missing. Also missing were his dagger and hand-axe. Apparently Aahz had not been idle while I was removing the spell.

  Aahz spoke first.

  "Relax, stranger. Things are not as they seem."

  The man sprang to his feet and struck a fighting stance, fists clenched.

  "Beware, demon!" he intoned hollowly. "I am not without defenses."

  "Oh yeah? Name three. But like I say. relax. First of all, I'm not a demon."

  "Know you, demon, that this charm enables me to look through any spells and see you as you really are."

  So that was it! My confidence in my powers came back with a rush.

  "Friend, though you may not believe me, the sight of that talisman fills me with joy, for it enables me to prove what I am about to tell you."

  "Do not waste your lies on me. Your disguise is penetrated! You are a demon!"

  "Right. Could you do me one little favor?" Aahz leisurely sat cross-legged on the ground. "Could you take the charm off for a minute?"

  "Take it off?" For a moment the man was puzzled, but he quickly rallied his forces. "Nay, demon. You seek to trick me into removing my charm that you might kill me!"

  "Look, dummy. If we wanted to kill you we could have done it while you were knocked out cold!"

  For the first time, the man seemed doubtful. "That is, indeed, a fact."

  "Then could you humor me for a moment and take the charm off?"

  The warrior hesitated, then slowly removed the charm. He looked hard at Aahz and scowled.

  "That's strange. You still look like a demon!"

  "Correct, now let me ask you a question. Am I correct in assuming from your words you have some knowledge of demons?"

  "I have been a demon hunter for over fifteen years now," he declared proudly.

  "Oh, yeah?" For a minute I was afraid Aahz was going to blow the whole gambit, but he got himself back under control and continued. "Then tell me, friend. In your long experience with demons, have you ever met one who looked like a demon?"