by Carl Weber
“Sure. You can take the other fifty,” Daddy offered eagerly.
“Don’t matter who’s in it as long as I get paid,” Darnel said, laughing. I noticed that he’d finally put his phone back into his pocket.
“Keep laughing now. You’re not going to be laughing when my Lakers spank that butt.” Sandra looked like she was as much into basketball as they were. She knew how to work her thing, and I wasn’t mad at her. “Now I can’t wait to watch that game.”
“You two should watch the game together.” I threw it out there innocently enough. “I mean, you both are going to watch it anyway. It’s not a problem, right, Darnel?” I had him on the spot. He’d never be rude to a friend of mine, and I knew he wasn’t about to start now.
“Well, I was supposed to watch the game with the old man, since we got money on it and all.” Darnel glanced at Daddy. I couldn’t tell if he was hoping Daddy would rescue him from this setup, but it wasn’t happening. Daddy disliked Keisha as much as I did.
“A Lakers fan is always welcome in my house,” Daddy said. “Besides, I’m sure she’s going to want her money as soon as the game’s over. As do I.” He smiled confidently as if the game were in the bag.
Darnel waved his hand at Daddy. “Okay, so I’ll see you two Sunday. Bring cash. I don’t take checks.”
As everyone at the table erupted into laughter over the friendly bet, Darnel’s phone rang, and he jumped up from the table. “Excuse me a minute.”
I was sure that it was Keisha on the phone, but at the moment, I didn’t even care. Now that Darnel and Sandra had plans to get together again next weekend, I knew that Keisha’s days with my brother were numbered.
James
13
As I sat in my living room having a drink, I thought about the barbecue I ’d had with my kids. Once again, Jamie had accomplished what she did best—she manipulated the situation. Don’t ask me how Jamie made it happen, but Darnel, who was still preoccupied with Keisha, ended up driving Sandra home. Despite the fact that it was the result of my daughter’s meddling, I actually thought this was a good thing. Someone needed to do something to take Darnel’s mind off Keisha, and I was starting to doubt that anyone would be able to. Then Sandra showed up, and maybe meeting her would push Darnel in the right direction—away from Keisha.
I was hopeful that it would work out between Darnel and Sandra, even if only temporarily. Darnel’s ego needed a little boost. Sandra seemed to be a nice enough girl, and there was no doubt that she was a looker. Hell, if this was twenty years ago, who knows? I might have given my son a run for his money. The sad thing was that if this really were a competition between the two of us, I ’d come out the winner. Darnel had been so damn devoted to Keisha that it was like all other women were invisible to him. He sure didn’t know how to play the game. I just hoped he didn’t blow it with Sandra, because she was definitely showing signs of interest.
The doorbell snapped me out of my thoughts. I walked to the front door, wondering who might be stopping by. It probably wasn’t one of the kids, because both Jamie and Darnel had keys to my house—which, by the way, was something I hoped to change as soon as Darnel found his own place. Between Jamie barging in while I was in bed with Crystal and Darnel moping around every day, I was more than ready to fly solo again. I loved my kids, but their constant presence was starting to interfere with my social life, and I wasn’t gonna have that.
In the short time after Jamie moved out, I had enjoyed the luxury of having the whole place to myself. I could let a woman into my home and take her right there on the living room couch if I wanted to. With Darnel around, that had become impossible.
As I realized now that he was out with Sandra and might be gone for a while, I hoped that the person at the door was someone of the female persuasion coming to call for a night of pleasure. If so, she would be right on time.
When I opened the door, I saw that there was indeed a woman, but I didn’t know why she was there, because she didn’t usually stop by unannounced like this, especially since she lived in another state.
“Hello, James,” Crystal said as she pushed past me and made her way inside.
Although I was confused, she was a welcome surprise.
As I closed the door, I peeked outside and noticed that there was no car parked in my driveway. It was safe to assume she had parked a few blocks away. After the way Jamie had busted in on us last time, Crystal wouldn’t want to take any chances. She was smart that way about her creeping. Back when she was living in Queens, she tipped around with me all the time, but her first husband, Joe, never caught her. In fact, Crystal was so slick that Joe probably never would have suspected a thing if Darnel hadn’t spilled the beans.
Even though I was his father, Darnel never wanted me and his mother to be together once he figured out I didn’t intend to marry her. I can’t say I blamed him, though. He wanted to see his mother with a fully committed man, something I never pretended I could be. The problem was that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to change the sexual chemistry between me and Crystal.
After all these years, the attraction was still powerful. Crystal had her hands all over me before I could even ask her, “What are you doing here?”
“Milton’s brother passed away, so we came up to make arrangements,” she answered between kisses on my neck.
“Where’s your husband?” I asked, though the answer never seemed to matter. Wherever Milton was, Crystal always found a way to see me whenever they came to New York.
“He’s with his family. I told him I was going to see Darnel.” She placed my hands on her breasts, and I gladly massaged them.
“Where’s Darnel?” She quickly glanced around the room; then her eyes came to rest on my crotch.
“What are you trying to do to me, girl?” I teased her like I’d done when we were young.
“Where is he?”
“He’s not here.” I looked into Crystal’s eyes and saw the desire burning there. “So, what’s up? You trying to go upstairs?”
“You so bad,” Crystal joked, like that wasn’t on her mind in the first place. She was standing so close to me that I could smell her Trésor perfume wafting in my nose. And like two dance partners who’d always done the same familiar tango, we wound up in bed together.
After a couple of lustful rounds in bed, I sat back and enjoyed the view while Crystal put on her bra and slid her underwear up her legs. This whole scene was customary for us: an hour or two of passion, then Crystal getting dressed and us parting ways, both knowing that it wouldn’t be the last time we made love. But this time, Crystal decided to flip the script.
“I’m thinking about leaving my husband and moving back to New York.”
Oh Lord, not this, I thought. We hadn’TVisited this subject together in quite a long time. After all these years, I thought that Crystal finally understood where she stood with me—I loved her, but I was not in love with her. She was one of the best bed partners I ’d ever had, but there was something missing, something that prevented me from taking our relationship to a higher level. There had always been something missing.
The truth was, there was something missing with every woman I ’d ever met. But it was just like the old saying, “It’s not you; it’s me.” I had known some fabulous, sexy women in my life—plenty of them went on to make wonderful wives for other men—but I ’d never met any woman who made me want to hand in my player card. It just wasn’t in my genetic makeup, I guess, but whatever it was, I had explained it to Crystal plenty of times, so I had no idea why she was bringing it up again.
“I thought you said you and Milton have a good life.”
“We do. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy.” She came over and sat on the bed. “I spent one night with you last month and two hours tonight, and I felt more passion than I’ve felt with that man in all the years we been married.”
“So come up more often,” I suggested, hoping that would be enough to satisfy her. “Let’s plan some
secret getaways. But you don’t have to leave him.”
Crystal sighed. “You just don’t understand, do you? I’m still in love with you, James. I’m just going through the motions with him. I almost can’t stand for him to put his hands on me anymore.”
When she looked at me, I saw that her eyes were glistening with tears. I wished like hell that I could make her feel better, but I would never be the man she wanted. I hated these conversations.
“I’m not asking you to marry me,” she said sadly. “I’m just asking you to let me be your woman.”
I held her hand and said, “You know how things are with us, Crystal. I’m not gonna change, so you really oughta try to make it work with Milton. He seems like a good enough guy. He really loves you.”
“In other words, I’m good enough to be a booty call but not good enough to be your woman,” she said, pulling her hand away.
“You know you’re more than that, Crystal. You’re the mother of my only son. A good mother. You raised Darnel to be a good man, and I can’t ask for more than that.”
“But, Darnel aside, how do you feel about me as a woman?”
“You’re a good woman. If I had half a brain, I would have married you years ago.”
“I’m a good woman,” she said sadly, “but evidently not good enough.”
I knew I was hurting her, and I hated to do it, but I had never lied to Crystal about where we stood, and I wasn’t about to start now. “It’s just that I have never been the marrying type. I told you that when we met, and my story has never changed.”
“You don’t have to marry me, James. I’m just looking for you to make a commitment to me. You’re not getting any younger, and neither am I. Sure, you can still sling it, but the Viagra days aren’t far away.”
“You sure know how to hurt a brother.” I laughed to deflect the sting of her comment, but the idea of using Viagra was chilling. I had always been a vibrant man and planned to be for years to come. Sure, I had been noticing that I got a little more winded lately during sex, but there was no problem with the important equipment.
“It’s not funny, James. I ’d always envisioned us growing old together, sitting on the porch, rocking in our chairs, waiting for Darnel to bring our grandchildren by.”
It was a nice image—for someone who was a romantic. But it bothered me, because all it really meant was that it didn’t matter how honest I ’d been with her all these years. She still held it in her head that someday I would change my mind.
“I just want to be a part of your life,” she said.
“We will always be in each other’s lives, Crystal. We do have a son together, you know.”
“Yeah, but Darnel’s grown, and he never really wanted us together anyway, so you can stop making excuses. This isn’t about Darnel, and it isn’t about Jamie either. It’s about you and me and whether you love me enough to have a committed relationship.” She wiped away a few tears.
I stayed silent, because I knew I couldn’t give her the answer she wanted to hear.
“Let me ask you a question,” she said. “Do you want to die alone?”
“Where did that question come from?”
“Just answer me.”
“I never really gave it much thought,” I replied honestly.
“You should. It’s not something I recommend. I watched my father go through it, and I can tell you that men aren’t meant to die alone.”
“Well, I’m not planning on going anytime soon,” I joked, this whole conversation making me very uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to having such a serious conversation with a woman.
“You know what?” Crystal said with a sigh. “Never mind. I can see you’re not ready for this conversation. But trust me—one day you’re gonna feel your age, and you’re gonna need me. I just can’t promise I’ll still be waiting around for you.”
With that, she stood up and finished getting dressed, then left without another word. I wondered if she was serious and if that might possibly have been the last time we would ever have sex. But the more I thought about it, the more I came up with one answer: Crystal and I would always end up sleeping together.
Darnel
14
I ran my hand down her back and along the smooth curves of her round buttocks as she slept next to me. I ’d done it, I thought. I ’d finally slept with a woman other than Keisha. Less than thirty minutes ago, I had been making love to Whitney Johnson, the one woman Keisha hated most in the entire world. I know my sister thought I ’d end up sleeping with her friend Sandra, but as nice as she was, I just didn’t feel any chemistry, not to mention the fact that I hated being forced into anything. I still planned on watching the game with Sandra, but there was no chance that Jamie’s matchmaking attempt would work out. Whitney, on the other hand, I did have chemistry with, if only because Keisha hated her.
Whitney and Keisha had quite a history. We had all gone to college together aTVCU, and Keisha had hated Whitney from the first time she caught her checking me out in line at the dining hall during our freshman year. Whitney tried a few times to get my attention, but it hadn’t worked. Even as fine as Whitney was, I never had any interest in her that way. I was just too wrapped up in Keisha. You know, all that one-woman-man crap I ’d been preaching the last ten years.
Keisha didn’t care how faithful I was, though. The only thing that mattered to her was that Whitney was disrespecting her by trying to get with me.
Whitney thought the whole thing was funny and even got some of her sorority sisters in on the act, spreading rumors that Whitney and I had hooked up one weekend when Keisha went home for a cousin’s birthday party. After quite a bit of work on my part, I was able to convince Keisha that it had never happened, but from that point on, it was war between her and Whitney.
Things finally came to a head when Whitney forced Keisha to drop pledge line for the Delta Sigma Theta sorority. That was quite embarrassing for Keisha, considering she was a double legacy, with both her mother and grandmother being Deltas. Keisha and Whitney ended up in a fistfight at a frat party one night, and the way Keisha walked away with a handful of Whitney’s weave became a campus legend.
There was an uneasy truce between them after that, and they managed to keep away from each other until Whitney’s graduation the year before ours. But every once in a while, Whitney’s name would come up in a conversation, and it was obvious that Keisha still hated her passionately. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Whitney since graduation, nor had I ever felt the need. But when I saw her walk into a bar in Queens where I was once again trying to drown my sorrows, it felt like fate.
Keisha and I had been arguing on and off on the phone ever since the night I had gone to her place, then left her in tears. Every time I spoke to her, it was like ripping the scab off an old wound. Hearing her voice made me feel like crap, because any time she said something cute or endearing, I would wonder, Did she say those same types of things to Omar once? I couldn’t stop the pain in my heart, no matter how much alcohol I consumed. This particular night, I almost went over to her place again, knowing that if I did, we’d end up screwing. But somehow, fate made me stop off at the bar for a drink first.
I knew that even though I still loved her, cutting Keisha loose would be the best thing for me. That’s why the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. If I could get with Whitney, it might take my mind off Keisha and help me move on. The thought of some closure put a smile on my face as Whitney approached me.
It turned out that Whitney was just as happy to see me, having just ended a long-term relationship herself a few months ago. This was one of those “right place at the right time” meetings, and it took only a few martinis before Whitney was bare-ass naked, riding me in the queen-sized bed in her apartment.
This was the kind of behavior that would make my father proud, I thought as I rewound the entire thirty-five-minute sexual act through my mind. We’d done everything under the sun, but, unfortunately, I still didn’t know what the hype was all about
, sexing someone you didn’t care about. Pussy was pussy to me, I ’d decided. It was warm and wet, and the more you moved your dick in it, the sooner you’d come. I could have masturbated to do that. Whitney could have been Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, or Beyoncé, and it wouldn’t have mattered. To me, she didn’t feel like anything more than a sperm receptacle, because she didn’t mean anything to me.
I never just came when I was with Keisha. Every single orgasm was like a new high for me, and that included the time I tried to knock her head through the wall. She just did things to me.
All of a sudden, I felt dirtier than the last time I ’d slept with Keisha, and I hurt. I hurt bad, and it was all Keisha’s fault. We should have been happily married by now, and I never would have been in the bar in the first place to end up having meaningless sex with a woman I didn’t give a crap about. If only Keisha had kept her damn legs closed …
I wanted the pain in my heart to go away, but more than that, I wanted Keisha to feel what I did. I doubted she had any idea how badly she had wounded me, but I decided I would try to make her understand.
Trying not to wake Whitney, I slipped out from under the covers and picked up my pants off the floor. I slid on my pants, found my cell phone in the pocket, and dialed Keisha’s number as I headed into the living room. Keisha answered on the first ring, like she’d been waiting for me to call.
“Hey, baby, I’m so glad you called. I miss you so much.” The cheerfulness in her voice was so contrary to my own anger that it felt like a slap in my face.
“What are you doing?” I asked her, refusing to acknowledge that I missed her too.
“Why? What are you doing? You want to come over? You want some of this?”
“Not in this lifetime.”
There was a beat of silence before she asked cautiously, “Uh … what’s wrong, Darnel?”
“You want to know what I been doing?” I asked.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so …,” she said, drawing out her words to emphasize her confusion.