by Carl Weber
I delivered my news with malicious satisfaction. “I just fucked Whitney.”
Again, there was silence on the other end as she processed my words.
“Did you just say what I think you did?”
“I sure did.”
“No, you didn’t, because I thought you said—”
“Yeah, I did. I said I fucked Whitney Johnson. I fucked her, and it was daaaaaaamn good.”
In my fantasy of this moment, I imagined her bursting into tears right about now, so I was completely caught off guard when she laughed. “Okay, Darnel. You had me going there for a minute. Look, I know you’re hurt about what I—” She stopped herself. I guess she figured it would be wise if she didn’t speak about her act of betrayal. So I spoke it for her.
“Yeah, I’m still hurt about how you fucked my best friend! But that’s why I was all up in Whitney’s pussy tonight. Trust me—she made me feel much better.”
“Darnel, come on. You’re lying. You wouldn’t do that just to hurt me, would you?” she asked, as if I didn’t have every right to seek some revenge for what she’d done.
“Uh, yeah, I would do that, and I did. You want me to wake her up and put her on the phone to prove it to you?”
This time, there was no hesitation before she answered. “Yeah, put her ass on the phone, ’cause I will kill that bitch! Do you hear me? I will kill her ass!” From the level of her rage, I knew there was no reason to wake Whitney. Keisha believed that I ’d fucked Whitney, and it was like a knife in her heart.
I laughed. “I know the feeling. I felt the same way when I saw Omar’s dick up your ass.”
“I can’t believe you would fuck that bitch! She’s been trying to get with you ever since we were in college.”
“Well, now she got me,” I said with some satisfaction. “And now you know how it feels.”
She slowed her roll a little as my reason for sleeping with Whitney sunk in. She sighed and then said, “So, now we’re even. Does that make you feel better?”
“No,” I said, though I hated to admit it. My true feelings came pouring out. “I thought it would, but it didn’t. I just wish this whole thing had never happened. I just wish you had loved me the way I loved you.” I was starting to get choked up. “We’re supposed to be man and wife right now, Keisha. All I ever wanted to do was love you. Why couldn’t you love me?”
“I do love you, Darnel,” she said, her voice sounding full of genuine regret. “I don’t care if you’re screwin’ a hundred women; I’m still going to love you. I’m always going to love you.”
“What do you know about love, Keisha?” I spit the words at her, wanting them to hurt her as much as she’d hurt me. But I think I finally understood that they never would. She could never truly know what she’d done to me, any more than we could ever go back and undo the past.
“I know I messed up, and if you give me another chance, I won’t ever do it again.”
“But why did you do it in the first place?” I asked. “How do I know you won’t do it again if I don’t even understand why it happened the first time?”
“I already told you I don’t know.”
“That’s not good enough this time. We’re on the phone, Keisha, and you can’t kiss me and fuck me and avoid talking about it. So either you tell me why it happened, or I’m hanging up this phone and I swear you will never hear from me again.”
“You sure you want to know?” she asked.
“Yes. Stop stalling and just tell me why you broke my heart, ’cause I really can’t take this anymore.”
“Okay …” It took her a while to speak again, and then she finally gave me an explanation for the events that changed my life. “I was drunk, and I was down at the bar with my girls. Omar came in talking about how I was making a mistake getting married without sleeping with at least one other man.”
Omar had used the same argument to try to convince me to sleep with the stripper that night. I just wasn’t that stupid. Shit, was it possible he had been planning the whole thing? Maybe he wanted me to sleep with the stripper so I ’d be occupied while he went to seduce my fiancée. It was possible, I decided, but he still couldn’t have succeeded without a willing participant, so Keisha was not innocent by any stretch of the imagination.
“But why him?” I asked.
“Darnel, please, I just want to forget that night.”
“Bye, Keisha.”
“No, wait!” she yelled. “Don’t hang up.”
“Why not? You don’t want to tell me the truth. I told you what I need, and if you can’t give it to me, then we ain’t got nothin’ to talk about.”
“Promise you won’t get mad.”
It was not a promise I wanted to make, but I needed to hear the explanation if I had any hope of ever getting past this, with or without Keisha. “I won’t get mad.”
“Okay, he was flirting with me. I was drunk. My girl was whispering to me about how big the bulge in his pants was.”
This was killing me to hear, but I let her keep talking.
“It was all just drunken flirting until he told me you were screwing some stripper whore upstairs.”
“He what?”
Her voice was quiet, almost apologetic. “He said you were getting laid upstairs.” “And you believed him? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“You promised you wouldn’t get mad,” she said, crying now.
“Fuck what I promised! Why didn’t you just come up to my room and find out? Shit, Keisha, it wouldn’t have taken that much to find out the truth.”
“I don’t know, Darnel. I was drunk, I was pissed off, and when I said I was going up there to kick your ass, Omar calmed me down and convinced me to stay in the bar. Told me you had to get it out of your system and that I needed to do the same.”
I could picture the scenario. It was starting to sound like Omar really had set this whole thing up. I was still furious with Keisha for falling for it as easily as she did, but, I thought hopefully, maybe she’d learned her lesson and something like this would never happen again.
“Was that the only time?”
“I swear, Darnel. You can give me a lie-detector test.”
She sounded sincere, and I wanted desperately to believe her, but in the back of my mind, there was this nagging feeling that I couldn’t take her word for it. I would definitely have to do some investigating of my own before I was satisfied that I knew the whole truth. But in the end, I had to admit to myself that I loved her enough to give this a try. Maybe if I found out that their affair was deeper, I could still learn to forgive, even if I would never totally forget.
“I just want to marry you and spend my life making you happy. You will never have to worry about this happening again,” she said.
She still wanted to marry me. My heart leapt a little at the thought, because I sure as hell still had feelings for her.
“Keisha, I don’t know …”
“What don’t you know? You love me, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “Yes, I love you.”
“So, do you want to marry me or not?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not? We love each other. What else matters?”
“You hurt me.”
“I know, baby, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“And then there’s my family.”
“What about them?”
“My family hates you, Keisha. They’re not going to accept this. You didn’t just hurt me. They got hurt too.”
“Are we supposed to let them dictate our lives? I love you, baby, and you love me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
I still felt the same way about her. After everything that had happened, I could still imagine myself spending the rest of my life with this woman.
“You promise me that you will never, ever be unfaithful?”
“Darnel, I promise. You are the only man I ever want to be with. I will never make that mistake ag
ain.”
“Then let’s do it.” As I said this, I felt a relief in my body like I had been holding my breath for weeks. Even with all the pain she had put me through, I still knew that making love to her, holding her in my arms, and taking care of her, was worth more than a thousand one-night stands with girls like Whitney.
“We’re going to get married?” she asked excitedly.
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Tonight. Fuck it. Let’s fly to Vegas.”
“Really?” she squealed. “Oh my God, Darnel, I love you! Why don’t you come over? I’ll look for flights online.”
And that’s when reality hit me.
“I can’t.”
“What?”
“I can’t leave the state.”
“Why not?”
“Court. I can’t leave the state until I go to court on those assault charges.”
Her voice was shaky, like she was about to start crying again.
“To hell with the court. How are they going to know? You don’t have to go back to court for at least a month. Baby, I want to marry you.”
“I wanna marry you too. But I’ve got to do the right thing. We’ll go to Vegas and get married right after I get these charges taken care of.”
“Darnel, we’re gonna get through this.”
“I know we are,” I answered. Now that I knew Omar had planned to seduce my fiancée, I was glad for every punch I ’d landed on his face. Having to go to court was a small price to pay, and I had faith that in the end, I would be found not guilty. Karma is a bitch, and Omar had plenty of it coming to him for what he’d done.
“We’re meant to be together, Keisha. Nothing’s gonna change that. I promise you that when this case is over, we are getting married.”
“What about your family?” she asked, obviously scared of what their reaction would be. And I can’t say I blamed her. Both Jamie and my mom would hurt any woman who even looked at me wrong. But I wasn’t a kid anymore.
“Keisha, you are my family.” If there was a choice between them and her, I was going to choose Keisha.
“Then don’t you think you should come home to Mama?” she teased.
“I’ll be right there.”
I hung up the phone and went back to Whitney’s room to find the rest of my clothes. She woke up when I sat on the bed to put on my shoes.
“You ready to go another round?” she purred at me.
“I got to go.” I leaned forward to stand up, but she stopped me, placing a hand on my chest.
“Maybe I can change your mind about that.” She lowered the sheet to reveal her perfect breasts. As good as she looked to me, I just couldn’t get excited.
“I’m in love with another woman,” I confessed, getting up and heading for the door. “I think we both know who I’m talking about. I’m sorry, but I got to go home.”
Jamie
15
“Get out! Get the fuck out my house!”
At first I thought Louis didn’t really mean it, but when he repeated himself at the top of his lungs, I became a believer. Damn, what was he flipping out about anyway? All I did was ask him nicely whose blond hair was on his jacket. Well, maybe I wasn’t quite that nice about it, but what woman would be? I mean, I knew for damn sure that it wasn’t mine, so it was only natural for me to wonder who had been so close to my man that her hair ended up on his clothing. And it was real hair, not that synthetic stuff they use on them cheap weaves. Some sister spent a lot of money on that hair.
“Louis, calm down, baby.” I tried to keep my voice quiet, even though I wanted to go off on him for getting mad at me. He was the one who came home with incriminating evidence on his jacket, not me. I had every right to ask him about the hair. Still, I really didn’t want to fight with him, so all I could do now was try to ease the situation.
“I wasn’t accusing you of anything, baby. I was just asking a question.”
“Bullshit! You asked me about the damn hair because you always think I’m doing something, Jamie. Living with you is like being under a damn microscope all the time, and I’ve had enough of this shit. I want your ass out.” He pointed at the door.
Damn, he was standing his ground on this one. Either this temper tantrum was a calculated act to take the heat off himself, or he was honestly sick of me. The thought of Louis actually breaking up with me was too much to handle, and I started to cry. “Louis, please don’t do this. Give me another chance. I promise I won’t accuse you of cheating anymore.”
Louis didn’t budge. “It’s not going to work this time, Jamie. I just can’t take your jealousy.”
“I don’t mean to be so jealous. It’s just …” I paused to wipe away my tears. When I glanced at him, he was still frowning. This confused me a little, because I was used to my tears getting me some sympathy. The expression on Louis’s face only made the tears fall faster now. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand.”
I had no idea why he was so angry. What was wrong with a woman trying to protect her relationship? As far as I was concerned, only a stupid woman wouldn’t have asked the question. How could he be threatening to kick me out when any reasonable woman would have done the same thing?
“Louis, please don’t do this. It’s not my fault that I’m a jealous person. You know my history. You know the way I watched my father mistreat women. I have a hard time trusting any man because of him.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t deserve to be punished for your father’s actions.”
“You’re right. I know that.” I tried to reach out and touch him, but he stepped back.
“I’ll go to counseling. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just don’t leave me. Please.”
We stood silently and stared at each other for a long time before he finally shook his head and said, “I don’t know why I’m doing this, but you can stay.”
I wanted to jump into his arms, but he kept them crossed firmly over his chest. “But that don’t mean you’re off the hook, Jamie. You need to stop this shit. If it happens again, you can just move back over to your dad’s house, since that’s where you seem to want to be all the time anyhow.”
I wiped away the last of my tears as I watched him head for the bedroom. He closed the door, and I knew I ’d be sleeping on the couch tonight.
I cried myself to sleep that night but woke in the morning with hope renewed. You can’t keep a good woman down, I decided. Louis had been pissed at me, but I was determined to get our relationship back on track. I kind of liked it when he showed me who was boss, which surprised me. I don’t know, maybe I did need to see a counselor. I mean, my father had always had a huge influence on me, and now it seemed like I enjoyed it when Louis put me in my place. Maybe I was attracted to father figures. But whatever it was, I was impressed by Louis’s strength and determination the night before. It just convinced me even more that I needed him in my life, and I would do whatever it took to keep him.
Louis had already left for work when I got up. The fact that he hadn’t said good-bye meant he was probably still mad, but I wasn’t worried. I knew just how to smooth things over.
I called Daddy and told him I wouldn’t be coming to work; then I got dressed and headed to the mall. In Victoria’s Secret, I bought a sexy negligee; then I went to an expensive organic market and purchased olive oil, garlic, saffron rice, lobster, and crab legs—everything I needed to go into paella, Louis’s favorite dish.
When he arrived home that night, Louis still didn’t have much to say. He just plopped down on the couch and watched TV until dinner was ready. I was a little concerned at this point, because he’d never given me the silent treatment for such a long time. But once we sat at the table and he tasted the paella, his shoulders seemed to relax and his eyes looked a little less guarded. After his third helping, he looked enough like his old self that I figured it was safe to talk.
“You like?” I asked.
“Yes, I like. It was very good,” Louis
complimented me, unbuckling his belt and running his hand over his stuffed belly. “But you’re still not off the hook for last night.”
Damn, he was going to make this harder than I thought.
“I’m not trying to be off the hook. I know I was wrong,” I said, even though I really didn’t think I was wrong, and no one would ever convince me I was. “I just don’t want to lose you, Louis. I’ve never been in love with a man like you before. I don’t want that taken away from me the way it was taken away from my brother.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m not Keisha … and I’m not your daddy either. If you can’t start trusting me, we’re never gonna make it.”
I got out of my chair and walked around the table. I sat on his lap and asked, “Do you still love me?”
“I never stopped.”
He allowed me to lean in for a kiss, and as soon as our lips met, I felt so much better.
“Louis, let’s never fight again.”
“I’ll do my best. But it would help if you could stop being so jealous.”
“I promise.” I kissed him again, glad that this ordeal was finally coming to an end. “Hey, let’s go watch that movie you rented last night.”
“Sure.”
We poured ourselves two glasses of wine and walked to the living room arm in arm. I now knew why people could be such fools for love. This man had my nose wide open. I had never felt so loved now that he took me back in his arms. Louis was no longer mad at me. If I died right now, I would be happy.
I put on Training Day, a movie we both loved and had rented several times before. We’d watched it so many times that we could quote lines together. As we cuddled on the couch and became engrossed in the movie, Louis got this contented look on his face. I felt like we were vibing again.
“I can see how Denzel got the Academy Award for this part,” Louis commented when the movie was over. “This role went totally against the type of characters he usually plays.”
“Yeah, he was one dirty cop … Do you think there are real cops who are that dirty?” I asked.
He sipped on his glass of wine and grunted. “I’m sure some cops are worse than the ones portrayed in this movie. People can be really good at concealing the parts of themselves they don’t want the world to see.”