Up to No Good

by Carl Weber

“Exactly! How could you say it was me? It was probably just some crack head looking for shit to steal, and he heard you in the shower and took off.” My suggestion wouldn’t be too hard to believe, considering Keisha didn’t live in the safest of neighborhoods.

  Keisha shrugged her shoulders. It wasn’t an apology for accusing me, but at least she no longer seemed sure that I was the one in her apartment.

  “Did you leave your windows open or something?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  “You know … if I was living there, you’d be safer.”

  This finally got her to turn and look at me. “Darnel, don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t do this to yourself. Just let it be.”

  “Why? Can’t I worry about the woman I gave the best years of my life to?”

  She frowned. “Yeah, sure, you can worry about my safety, but we both know that’s not what this is about.”

  “Then what is it about?”

  “I told you we can’t be together right now. Maybe someday, but not now. It’s just not working.”

  “It can work,” I protested. Believe it or not, I truly did feel like we could work things out. I ’d read Keisha’s diary from cover to cover, and I knew about every dude she’d ever fucked—or at least the ones up to that night with Omar. But even after all the pain she’d caused, I finally realized I would never stop loving her. No matter what she had done in the past, I wanted to believe that we could start over again: she would confess the truth to me, I would forgive her, and she would remain faithful from now on.

  “No, it can’t work, because you can’t seem to forgive the past, and truthfully, I just want to get on with my life.”

  “Oh, so it’s like that, huh?”

  “Darnel, don’t. Please don’t start this.”

  We had arrived at the parking lot at her job, and she reached for the door handle to get out of the car. I grabbed her wrist tightly.

  “You’re not going anywhere, Keisha.”

  Rather than struggle against my grip, she leaned back against the seat and cut her eyes at me. “Look, we had some good times, Darnel, and I’ll always love you. You were my first love. But—”

  “But what? You got a new love now? Omar? Or maybe Mark?” I asked, throwing out one of the names I ’d read in her diary.

  She gave me a look that said, “How the hell did you know about Mark?”

  “That’s right. I know about Mark. I know about a lot of things.”

  “Whatever. You shouldn’t believe everything people tell you,” she said, playing it pretty cool for someone who was so close to having all her dirty little secrets thrown in her face.

  “If you say so,” I answered. “So you’re still sticking with your story that Omar was the only one, huh?”

  “Look, I’m not gonna go there with you. I made a mistake with Omar, but maybe it’s best that it happened this way. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be between you and me. Have you ever thought about that?”

  “Oh yeah, I’ve thought about it,” I said honestly. “But I believe we were meant to be together. In spite of everything you’ve done to me, I still love you. I wanna make this work.”

  I looked at her for a reaction, but she sat staring at me and said nothing.

  “Let’s go to dinner tonight and talk about this some more,” I suggested.

  “I can’t. I have something to do.”

  I was getting tired of her negative responses to everything I said. Why did she have to make it so damn hard when all I wanted to do was love her? Well, if she wanted to make this difficult, I was through being nice.

  “Oh, you have something to do. Another date? Who you screwing tonight—my dad? Lord knows he’s screwed everything else in my life.”

  Her eyes welled up with tears. “How can you say that?”

  I laughed. “I’m just telling the truth. You’re a fuckin’ whore, aren’t you? And so is he.”

  Keisha pulled her hand back as if to slap me.

  “I swear to God, I’ll smack you right back,” I warned.

  She lurched forward like she was going to hit me anyway, but then she dropped her hand to the door handle.

  “Look, can’t you see I love you?” I said, not wanting her to leave the car mad.

  Before she could respond, a big dude was tapping on the driver’s side window. I rolled it down and glared at him. “What the heck you want?”

  He looked right past me and asked Keisha, “Are you okay?”

  “Mmm-hmm,” she answered quietly, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her cheek.

  The guy didn’t move away fast enough for me, so I looked at him and said, “Oh, are you screwing her too?”

  He gave me a disgusted look and told Keisha, “I’ll wait inside the lobby for you.” Then he told me, “I’ll be watching through the window, and I won’t hesitate to call security if I see you touch her.”

  When he walked away, I turned to Keisha. “We going to dinner tonight, or what?”

  “No, we’re not.” She pulled the handle and climbed out of the car.

  “Well, then that flat tire is just the beginning,” I said under my breath.

  “What did you say?” she asked, leaning down to speak to me through the passenger’s side window. “You’re crazy, Darnel.”

  I turned and smiled at her. “Only because you made me this way. And trust me, you haven’t seen crazy yet.”

  James

  27

  I liked to smell good for my lady, so I dabbed on just the right amount of cologne. Some people put on so much “smell-good” that it actually smells bad and works like a repellent. I preferred my scent to be subtle so that a woman had to get close to get a real deep whiff. Something about a woman inhaling at my neck always made me happy.

  I pulled my belt through my jeans, slipped on my leather jacket, and I was good to go. I smiled as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Not bad for a man in his forties. Hell, why be modest? I took good care of my body, and I looked better than most of these young brothers out there. If I could just get rid of this cough I ’d had lately, I would be straight.

  The doorbell rang, and as I went to answer it, I felt an excitement building in my body. Sandra and I were going out to the Hamptons on my new motorcycle, and I couldn’t wait to see what she was wearing. Last time we went riding, she wore the sexiest leather outfit. She always managed to outdo herself, even when she wore jeans and a T-shirt.

  I opened the door, smiling from ear to ear, but it wasn’t Sandra who greeted me. It was Crystal, and my smile fell right away.

  “What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

  “Sure, I’m always happy to see you, Crystal.” Normally, that would have been true, but not today, not when Sandra was due to arrive at any moment. “I just wasn’t expecting you.”

  “Really?” She gave me that flirty look that had always shot straight to my groin. Thank God I was wearing loose-fitting jeans, because this time it didn’t work, and I was as surprised as she would have been if she knew.

  “Well, after that last conversation, I wasn’t expecting this. Once I told you I couldn’t commit to a relationship, I kind of figured it was over between us.”

  “It’ll never be over between us, James.”

  She took a step closer, and it made me feel a little uncomfortable, something I ’d never experienced with Crystal. It was like my body was telling me it was time to stop messing with her. This blew my mind. After all these years, I had absolutely no desire to take what Crystal was offering. If this was true, I realized, then I was ready to commit to a relationship with Sandra—which was a good thing, since I ’d already told her as much. I still hadn’t told my kids, but I had talked to Sandra about how and when I would do it, and there was no turning back now. As weird as it felt to say it, Sandra was my woman, and even with Crystal standing before me, I had no regrets about the decision I ’d made.

  Crystal slipped her hand onto my arm in what fe
lt like possessiveness, and I had to step back to separate her hand from my body. She reached for me again, and I avoided her.

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I just wasn’t expecting you to come over here today.”

  She took a step closer and I moved back.

  “What the hell is going on, James? You got somebody over here?” She tried to look past me into the house.

  “No. Nobody’s in the house, but somebody is coming over.”

  “Well, then I suggest you let her know that your plans have changed.”

  “I don’t think so, Crystal.”

  She eyed me with surprise. “Why not?”

  “Look, I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m in a relationship.” This was the first time I ’d said it out loud to anyone, and it didn’t feel so bad. Yeah, I had definitely made the right decision. Sandra was the one.

  “A what?” Her voice was close to a scream.

  “A relationship. I’m in a committed relationship.”

  “Well, that’s just fuckin’ great. What the hell have I been try’na get you into for the last thirty years?” Crystal looked ready to attack me, something she’d tried once. When we were in our twenties, she caught me with a friend of hers and went ape-shit, but I was young and dumb. Older and wiser now, I knew things had consequences, which was why I was trying to get her out of here before Sandra showed up and a fight broke out.

  “It didn’t work out that way between us.”

  “’Cause you said you weren’t the type to settle down. You told me how many times, James, that you never wanted to tie yourself to one woman?”

  “I know what I said.”

  “So you were lying?”

  “No, I wasn’t lying. I didn’t know that I would ever want to be in a relationship with anyone, so all those times, I wasn’t lying. I just didn’t know what the future held for me. This was the last thing I expected.”

  “So it’s okay to use me all the time as your sex partner, but I’m not good enough to be in a relationship with?”

  “Those are your words, not mine.”

  “Well here’s some more words for you: You could fuck me, make a baby with me, and spend almost thirty years having random sex with me, but I’m not girlfriend or wife material?”

  “Crystal, you’re married, so clearly you are wife material. And I love my son and am grateful to you for having him, but I never asked you to get pregnant.”

  “Well, I didn’t get pregnant by myself.”

  “I know you didn’t.”

  “So now you saying what? I tricked you into having Darnel?”

  “Didn’t you? You thought it would make me settle down.”

  We’d had this same discussion years ago. I did believe that Crystal got pregnant on purpose, but after a while I didn’t care, because Darnel was a great kid regardless of why or how he was conceived. But now Crystal was trying to accuse me of playing her all these years, which just wasn’t fair.

  “I did not get pregnant on purpose,” she insisted.

  “It doesn’t matter now. You’re a good woman, and you been good to me.”

  “But—”

  “But I never asked you for more than I was willing to give.”

  “But I asked you, James. I asked you to get married and to raise our child together.”

  “That’s all in the past.”

  “No, some things don’t stay in the past. I gave you almost thirty years of love, and you know I was always waiting for you to settle down.”

  “You’re married.”

  “And if you asked me to leave my husband for you, I would.”

  “He’s a good man, Crystal. He loves you.”

  “Fuck you, James Black. You messed up my entire life. I spent my entire adult life waiting for you to grow up, and when you do, it’s for another woman. Ain’t that a bitch!”

  “Crystal, I do love you.”

  “Yeah, just not in that way,” she said, sounding like the words tasted bad in her mouth. “We’re like brother and sister, except with a bit of incest on the side.” She laughed, but not like she thought it was funny.

  “Go home to your husband.”

  “So it’s like that?”

  Her breasts were heaving up and down like she was trying not to blow her top, but that air had to come out some way. It was only a matter of time before she exploded. I just hoped I could get rid of her before it happened in front of my house.

  “Go home to your husband. Remember him? He’s the man you married, not me,” I said impatiently. To tell you the truth, I was getting tired of her pushing this issue. Why did she always seem to go deaf every time I told her something she didn’t want to hear?

  “Yeah, I married someone else, but whose fault is that? You know how it feels to wait all these years for a man to love you the way you deserve, and then you find out it’s not that he can’t but that he don’t want to?”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Can you stand there and tell me that you ever really tried to love me the way I deserve?” Her eyes were glistening with tears now.

  “Love doesn’t happen just because you want it to or because it’s good for you. It happens when you least expect it to, and there is nothing you can do about it.”

  She was starting to look like she was running out of arguments, and that might have been the end of it, if Sandra hadn’t chosen that moment to pull up in a cab. Crystal saw the look of excitement and dread on my face and turned to see Sandra approaching the house.

  “I guess you couldn’t handle a woman, huh, James? She’s a goddamned baby.” Crystal reached out, and before I could react, she slapped me hard across the face. Then she turned and stomped toward Sandra. “You can have his ass! Maybe he can help you with your training wheels,” she hissed as she passed Sandra and got into her car. Her tires squealed as she raced down the street.

  “What was that?” Sandra asked when she approached me.

  “That was Darnel’s mother.”

  “Oh …” A look of recognition crossed her face. I’m sure Jamie had told her plenty of stories about my ongoing affair with Darnel’s mother, and none of them were complimentary toward Crystal. “She didn’t look too happy.”

  “I just told her I was in a committed relationship.”

  Sandra’s eyes lit up. She leaned in and gave me a long, wet kiss. “So this means we’re really gonna do this thing, huh?” she said happily.

  “Yup. Next step is for you to come to church with me this weekend. What do you think?”

  She jumped into my arms and hugged me tight. “Come inside and let me show you just how happy that makes me, Mr. James Black.”

  Darnel

  28

  Call me crazy … I’ll show her crazy!

  My living room looked like somebody had tossed the place looking for drugs, but that wasn’t what happened. I was looking for something else, and to me, it would bring much more satisfaction than any amount of drugs. After I left Keisha at work, I raced home and spent the next three hours searching through my things, including boxes I hadn’t yet unpacked from my move.

  What I was searching for would be the nail in the coffin for Keisha’s antics. She acted like she could behave any way she wanted, and as long as she continued to proclaim her innocence, no one but her would have to know the truth. But now that I ’d read the diary, the cat was out of the bag, and I was going to make sure plenty of other people got to see the real Keisha. Like my father’s friend Bishop Wilson always liked to say, “What’s done in the dark will soon come to light.”

  I dug through some stackable plastic boxes I had stored under my bed, full of important papers and mementos I didn’t want to lose. Bingo! I spotted the manila envelope I was looking for. I opened it and pulled out a stack of photos. Now, these weren’t the kind of pictures you put in a frame and display in your living room. No, these pictures weren’t meant to be viewed by everyone.

  Keisha had always liked me to take pictures of her while
we were making love. I don’t remember if the first time was my idea or hers, but once she got a taste of being in front of the camera, she was like a porn star, always wanting me to bring the camera into the bedroom. I think it kinda turned her on, because she knew how sexy she looked. And it damn sure turned me on. Whenever she was away and I missed her, I would pull out those photos and let my imagination run wild.

  I flipped through the photos and admired the gorgeous body that I ’d once thought was all for me. I came across a snapshot of Keisha spread eagle with her hand between her legs, massaging her kitty kat. She had this gleam in her eyes like she knew exactly how bad she was being and was totally down for whatever. There wasn’t anything shy about her—unfortunately, I knew that now more than ever. She was a straight-up freak.

  I kept flipping through the stack, looking for my favorite, a photo of Keisha in some stripper heels and a thong. In it, she was bent over doggy style, her face turned up in a flirty way. But the picture wasn’t there. In fact, there were a few of the more memorable ones missing. Was it possible that Keisha had given them to some of her other dudes? Yeah, I thought, it was possible, because once we moved in together, I basically put the pictures in an envelope in my closet and left them alone. Why look at pictures when I had the real thing in front of me? Keisha could have very easily taken a few and shared them without me ever noticing they were gone.

  Just the thought of her sharing herself with so many other dudes sickened me. How could she do that to me—to us? I felt the sudden urge to call her. Maybe she’d be ready to explain herself, and then we could avoid all the ugliness that was sure to ensue if I used these pictures the way I was planning to. This phone call would be her last chance.

  “Hey, we really need to talk,” I said when she answered her phone.

  “I ain’t got shit to say to you,” she yelled into the receiver.

  “I’m telling you right now, if you don’t talk to me, you will regret it.”

  “Leave me the fuck alone!” She ended the call.

  Okay, if that’s how she wanted to play it, then game on! Now she better be ready to play hardball, because that seemed to be the only way I was going to get through to her. This wasn’t all about inflicting pain, though. Yes, I wanted to teach her a lesson, but in the end, everything was designed to bring us back together.