Past Forward- A Serial Novel: Volume 4

by Chautona Havig

  Rain pounded the roof and earth. Willow stared out the window and Chad stared at Willow. Such a ridiculously exciting moment in their new marriage.

  “Bowling?”

  Willow shook her head The idea sounded revolting. “No thanks. I’m tempted to let the puppy in.”

  “You’ll regret it.”

  “I know.”

  He’d hoped she’d relent and agree to let Portia inside. Chad hated the idea of that poor puppy out in the cold and the rain. The stupid animal kept sitting in the yard howling for someone to rescue her from herself. “What about a movie? There’s an action movie in Fairbury right now…”

  “I don’t want to get sick. I think all that moving around on that huge wall would make me sick.”

  He’d never seen her bored like this. It was hysterical. “Well…” His mind raced with ideas from roller skating to museums. Finally he jumped to his feet. “Get your shoes on. Let’s go to the Aquarium.”

  “What is it? I mean, I know what an aquarium is—we almost got one once—”

  “Well, the Rockland Aquarium is huge. It has fish from all over the world. There are actual sharks and octopi and even penguins.”

  Rockland Metro Area Aquarium and Water Park loomed before them. Chad led her eagerly to the door, talking about all the shows he’d seen, an overnight class trip, and the special exhibits that came from time to time. “The water park is cool, but it’s only open in summer—except for rainy days. Closed on rainy days too,” he chattered as he urged her inside toward the exhibits.

  At the first wall of glass, Chad met the Willow Bill saw when she first arrived in Rockland, but he didn’t realize it. Her eyes widened, her breath became shallow, and then she froze. He wandered back and forth, admiring the various fish, pointing out unique specimens, and looking for hidden ones. She never moved. Oblivious to all but his delight with the fish, Chad enjoyed himself until he came back to her side and took her hand absently. The coldness of her fingers surprised him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Is it safe?” She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation again.

  “Is what safe.”

  “That wall,” she whispered, shuddering at the mental image of the glass giving way and drowning a room full of people.

  Chad pulled her close to him turning her away from the wall and through a doorway. “It’s safe. Thousands of people come through this room every week. Not once has that glass even cracked.”

  “But the second law of thermodynamics—”

  “I know,” he agreed soothingly. “But no one said that the decay was rapid. Look how well preserved the earth is after six thousand years. Look at that tree in California, Methuselah. It’s been around since the time of the flood, and it’s still standing. It’s dying like everything else but it doesn’t happen overnight.”

  She nodded. This she could understand. “How will they know when it isn’t safe? Will they know before someone is hurt?”

  She tried to glance back at the wall of glass, but the darkness in the aquarium made it mercifully impossible. At the jellyfish tank, Chad pointed out the sizes and colors of the translucent creatures, and though she could sense his blatant attempts to distract her, Willow appreciated it. By the time they reached the penguins, she was so delighted by their odd waddles, that her fear dissipated.

  Alas, Chad forgot the famous Rockland Under the Sea exhibit. They followed a tour guide through the archway and into the dome of the exhibit. At first, Willow was as awed by the incredible sights of the water around her, but when a small shark swam straight for her, she screamed. Her voice, echoing through the room, pierced the ears of everyone and frightened several small children. Their wails, combined with her panicked screams created instant chaos.

  She found herself wrapped in Chad’s arms with her head buried into his shoulder. Slowly, he backed them out of the room. Her screams ceased the moment he pulled her from the tunnel leading to the exhibit.

  “It’s ok,” he murmured sitting down and pulling her closer. “It’s just a room. I forgot about it, or I would have warned you.”

  “There are children in there,” she sobbed quietly. “How can they risk it?”

  “People work for peanuts giving those tours and cleaning the glass; do you think they’d do that if it wasn’t safe? Is the little bit they are paid worth the money if it’s dangerous?”

  “They’re stupid.” Chad’s chuckle sent her upright, glaring at him. “What is so funny?”

  “You just make my heart happy. Even when you terrify small children.”

  “I— I didn’t. How?”

  “Well what did you think would happen screaming like that?”

  “I screamed?” She remembered panic. She’d frozen in place; she was sure of it, but Willow had no memory of screaming. “I never scream.”

  “Want to try again?”

  She shook her head. “I really just want to go. Please—” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I can’t get the image of that shark swimming right at me out of my head.”

  Once outside, Willow glanced around her smiling at the tall buildings. “I never thought I’d be so glad to see those huge things. I love those buildings now.”

  “Well, where to? We’re in town—”

  A smile broke out over her face. “I want to go to the fabric store where I bought the fabric for the girls’ dresses. I want to give the man who helped me a tip. He was so kind.”

  Chad shrugged and accepted the address she passed him. “Do you have a card?”

  “For what?”

  “Well,” Chad explained patiently, “most people get embarrassed if you just hand them cash, but if you put it in a card that says thank-you, it’s just different.”

  On the way to the fabric store, Chad pulled into the parking lot of Rite-Aid. “Let’s get a card here.”

  “At a drugstore?”

  She should not have been surprised to step into a store and find rows upon rows of cards for every occasion. New job, new baby, retirement, birthday, wedding, sympathy, graduation—they had it all. A four-foot wide section intermingled thanks and sympathy together.

  “Something small,” she murmured as her fingers skipped over the tops of the cards.

  “Why small?”

  “Because if it’s embarrassing to receive cash, it’ll be embarrassing to receive a large envelope—it’ll be conspicuous.”

  His smile was his only response. She’d done something right. That pleasure that his approval brought her—nothing felt better.

  “Hey, this one is nice. I think he’ll like it. It has lilacs on it.”

  “Um, lass, flowers are usually better for girls. Guys like boring or something more masculine.”

  “But he loved the flower choice. I think he’ll like it. I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  Twice on the way to the fabric store, Chad commented on the card, but Willow ignored him. Josh would love it. As he drove, she struggled to write the card without destroying it. Stoplights became her friend until she signed it—Willow Tesdall.

  “That’s something I like seeing.”

  “Me too. I’ve never written it with Tesdall before. I almost forgot.”

  “Most people would have,” he agreed. “You just don’t write so fast that your head can’t keep up with you.”

  She hurried from the truck, practically dragging Chad into the store and up to the first empty register. “Is Josh working today? I need to speak to him if I can.”

  “Well,” the cashier said lazily, “I think he just got off…”

  “Can you page him just in case he hasn’t left yet?” Chad’s voice was firm but agreeable.

  “Well—”

  “Thanks, we’d really appreciate it.”

  When Josh burst through the double doors, Chad nudged her. “Is that—”

  “Josh!” Willow rushed forward smiling. “Do you remember me?”

  “Daisy yellow. Your wedding was just a week or two ago wasn’t it?”

  W
illow’s eyes grew wide. “Wow! You remembered!”

  A passing employee laughed. “We call him the elephant.”

  Her eyebrows drew together as she tried to understand. “Why? He’s too scrawny to be an elephant!”

  “People like to say that elephants never forget, lass. She’s saying he has a good memory,” Chad whispered.

  “Oh! Right. I remember that. Sorry.” She started to hand him the envelope. “I brought you a card. The dresses were just perfect and you were so helpful.”

  Josh looked around uncomfortably. “Want to get a coffee with me?”

  Willow smiled and pulled Chad forward. “That’d be great. You can meet my husband.” Her throat swelled—her husband!

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Chad said. “We’d love to get coffee with you.”

  “Oh!” The man’s gestures were the same effeminate movements that had interested her the last time. Before she could introduce Chad, Josh added, “You are a lucky man. Come on, I can’t wait to hear everything.”

  Outside the store, Josh led them down the street, around the corner, and into an old café that had definitely seen better years. “The coffee isn’t gourmet here, but it’s good and it’s hot.” He waved at the waitress at the counter. “When you have a minute, Wendy.”

  Chad pushed Willow’s card across the table. “Willow told me how helpful you were. I really appreciate it. I was afraid she’d be overwhelmed in a store like yours.”

  “I could tell she’d never been in one.” He grinned at Willow. “You know, if you hadn’t said bridal, I would have asked you out right there. You were the most interesting person I’ve met in a long time.”

  The look of shock on Chad’s face surprised Willow and amused Josh. “I thought—”

  “I’m not surprised,” Josh agreed. “Before Barney over at the mission introduced me to Jesus…”

  Chad grinned at Willow and said, “This is going to be beautiful. I can tell.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Josh looked at Chad surprised. “She didn’t think—”

  Chad shook his head. “She’s never been exposed to—”

  A wistful tone entered Josh’s voice. He looked into Willow’s eyes and reached one hand across the table to squeeze both of hers. “You have no idea how absolutely blessed you are.”

  Confused, Willow listened as Josh told of his lifelong love of fashion, interior design, and beauty. “People always assumed—I guess I can see why, but—” He sighed. “If you hear it enough, you start to believe it—or at least believe you don’t have a choice.”

  Curious, Willow’s eyes darted back and forth between the men, pausing on Chad as he said, “You felt trapped and assumed that others knew more about you than you knew yourself?”

  “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck—”

  “It couldn’t possibly be a person who likes to wear duck costumes?” Compassion and surprise flooded Chad’s voice. “When did you realize it wasn’t what you wanted?”

  “When Barney treated me like something worthwhile. He loved me, told me about Jesus, and didn’t preach at me about my lifestyle. I finally had to bring it up.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “Nothing. He said that when Jesus indwelled my heart, He’d help me do whatever Jesus wanted me to do. He could have shown me the Bible. At that point—” Josh’s slight lisp grew slightly more pronounced. “I would have grabbed at any excuse—”

  “I’ll bet that’s why he didn’t,” Chad commented. He was impressed. Without a doubt, Chad knew that one of the first things he would have done would have been to encourage Josh to repent.

  “Right. I was looking for an out for something I hated anyway. I don’t know if I would have ever truly repented if he would have pushed right then.”

  Willow listened confused. Josh and Chad seemed to understand each other perfectly, but she didn’t have a clue as to what was such a big deal. Though tempted to interrupt and ask, she wisely decided to wait. Chad could explain later. Josh seemed to need to talk.

  “Of course now,” Josh continued, “I’m an outcast with the old crowd, the girls at church see me as something they can’t quite trust, and I feel as alone as I ever did.”

  “But with Jesus—” Chad began.

  “You’re never alone.”

  Unconsciously, Willow began humming the old hymn, “… no never alone, no never alone. He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone…” Josh squeezed her hand again. “Exactly. Someday I’ll meet people who are as comfortable with me as you and Willow— and even Barney—”

  “I bet you know my sister.” Chad hesitated even as he spoke.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Cheri Tesdall.”

  Josh’s eyes lit up. “She was the first person to invite me to one of those singles things that happen around different towns. I knew she was going with some other guy, but just knowing someone wanted—me to go—”

  “I’m just glad she’s not one of the ones who rejected—”

  “Cheri wouldn’t! Chad, how could you think that! I think Cheri would like Josh if she wasn’t so wrapped up in Chuck.” She blushed. “Well, I mean she’d like him anyway, but I thought she’d appreciate him more personally if her—” Willow stopped herself. “You know what I mean.”

  They stayed through dinner, ate dessert, and continued to talk. After half a dozen glances at his phone in the past ten minutes, Josh jumped up and insisted he had to leave. “I’m supposed to play the piano tonight for the children at the mission. I have to go.”

  Chad pulled an old receipt from his wallet and wrote their phone numbers on it. “Call us. Anytime. Come visit. Come to church with us. Maybe what you need is a broader group of friends, and we’d like to be the first to invite you to Fairbury.”

  Fighting back tears and an even heavier lisp, Josh waved and dashed out the door, thanking them as he went. Willow hardly noticed; her eyes were focused on Chad. He seemed upset. “Are you ok?”

  “Just disgusted with myself.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it,” he began. “I feel like the very people who probably caused those self-doubts in him. People like me—we caused his pain.” Chad toyed with a straw wrapper. “I wonder how common that is?” he wondered to himself.

  “How common what is? What were you guys talking about? What are you talking about?”

  Chad sighed. “Didn’t you notice anything unusual about him?”

  “Well,” she admitted, “he’s a little girly, but I expect it’s just because he works with fabric, and the few men I know don’t. He probably spends a lot of time with women or something.”

  “It’s something like that. Mind if I explain some other time?” Chad stood and grasped her hand helping her from the booth.

  “Sure. Or I can ask him—”

  “I’d rather you didn’t,” Chad insisted sadly. “I think you’d make him uncomfortable.”

  “I think,” Willow said remembering the walls of glass and water, and the afternoon’s conversation, “I think people overcomplicate things. Let’s go home.”

  Chapter 107

  The shearers arrived on Friday. Willow hung over the fence, fascinated with every movement. It took almost no time for the two men to produce two full skirts. Willow nudged Chad. “Ten minutes—from start to finish, two fleeces in ten minutes. I’ve got to learn how to do that.”

  “Really? You want to do that? It looks like a hassle.”

  “Looks fun to me.” She called out a few questions and turned to Chad, excited. “Did you hear that? A shearing school in New Cheltenham! I want to go.”

  “Then you’ll go.” Despite his personal lack of interest, her excitement appealed to him. “I love how into all this you get.”

  “Even though you think I’m nuts.”

  “You are. I agree with Mother on that one. Sheep are stupid and obnoxious.” He nudged her boot. “Kind of like chickens.”
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  “They’re tasty like chickens too.”

  “How would you know?”

  Willow giggled at the gawky-looking sheep before answering. “Had it with Bill at that restaurant the day you made me wear my slippers to town.”

  “They were flip-flops.”

  “I felt like I was walking around town in my pajamas.”

  Chad shook his head. “I remember thinking you looked amazing.”

  “You acted like I looked ridiculous.” She winked. “That’s probably because you wanted an excuse to stop coming.”

  “I did.” He winked back at her before adding, “I’ve never been more happy to be wrong.”

  “Me too.”

  “What were you wrong about?”

  Willow laughed. “No, I’ve never been happier for you to be wrong.”

  “That’s it. They don’t need me, you’re insulting me, I’m going to go inside.”

  “I’ll be in when they’re done.”

  Books on shearing, cleaning, carding, and spinning littered the kitchen table. For three days, she’d stacked them out of the way before each meal, dragging them back as soon as the plates were cleared. She had wool now. What good would wool be without a spinning wheel?

  A glance out the door told him he only had a few minutes. Scrolling through his phone, he looked for numbers of yarn shops all around the Rockland Loop. He consulted her book, asked questions, and took notes of what each shop had in stock. By the time she climbed the steps, still waving at the departing shearers, he thought he had a plan.

  “What’re you doing?”

  “I have here a list of every type of spinning wheel I could find within driving distance. What do you think about us going to get one? What good is that fleece without something to spin it with?”

  His eyes closed and he laid his cheek on her shoulder as Willow slid onto his lap at the table, poring over his notes. It hadn’t been that long ago that the movement would have been instinctive—instinctively friendly. This was different, and every time she made those little gestures, it filled his heart with gratitude. Only the Lord could have effected that change in her. Only the Lord.