Desire Me

by Kayla C. Oliver

  The mention of her name was enough to make me sit up straight.

  “Did you say Aubrey Fort?” I asked, and Chad nodded.

  “She’s in the building? Here? Demanding to see me?” I asked, and Chad cleared his throat.

  “We are not sure who she is, sir. She refuses to tell us how she knows you. Should we get security?” Chad asked, and I stood up from my chair.

  “No, there’s no need for that. You can send her up. Do I have some time before the afternoon meeting?” I said and fixed the tie at my neck.

  “About twenty minutes, sir,” Chad replied.

  “Okay, send her up,” I told him and sat back down on my chair.

  I knew it was a bad idea to willingly see her again. As much as I’d tried to hate her in the past few days, I couldn’t deny the attraction I still felt for her. During the day I tried to train my brain into believing that she was bad for me, that she was nothing more than a really good actress, but at night, in the privacy of my fantasies, I was dreaming about her. Seeing her again could only be destructively bad for my soul.

  I sat behind my desk waiting for her to walk in. I could feel my feet shaking with anticipation. Aubrey was like a drug, and I was an addict.

  The door opened, and Chad escorted Aubrey into my office. There she was again, blowing my fucking mind.

  “Gareth, thank you for seeing me,” she said as Chad closed the door behind him.

  She was dressed casually in a floral printed dress, bright pink tights, thick boots, and a denim jacket. Her hair was left open, and it flowed around her shoulders. Her green eyes were bright and nervous, and her cheeks were already flushed. She had her hands clasped together, and she was twiddling her thumbs nervously.

  “Sit down, Aubrey,” I said to her, and she rushed toward the chair across from me and sat down.

  Nothing about Aubrey was characteristic of being a typical seductress. She was casually dressed, her body language was nervous, and she was shy of meeting my eyes. If her job right now was to seduce me back to her favor, she wasn’t doing it very well. Was she really the honeytrap I thought she was?

  “I spoke with Hunter,” she said, breaking the silence between us. Aubrey had finally raised her head so our eyes could meet, and I could see that she was struggling to hold my gaze.

  I steepled my fingers and glared at her.

  “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think of that. Hunter Morgan is your cousin. I’m sure speaking to him isn’t a big deal,” I replied. Aubrey gulped, then tucked some of her hair behind her ears.

  “It is kind of a big deal, which you would have known if you’d given me a chance to explain the other night when you stormed out of my apartment,” she said, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

  It was difficult to control myself. To not just jump out of my chair, slide everything off my desk, and pull her into my arms. I wanted her. I wanted her like I had her before.

  Aubrey licked her lips, and they became glossy and kissable. Everything about her was kissable.

  “We aren’t really friends; he isn’t a part of my life. We had never been close as kids, and that never changed even as adults, even when he moved back to Brunswick,” Aubrey said.

  I had made up my mind to not believe anything she told me today, but she was making it very hard for me to stick to that resolve. Everything about Aubrey was sincere. She looked like someone who could never tell a lie, but usually the best liars were experts at creating that illusion. I didn’t know who or what to believe.

  “What are you trying to convince me of, Aubrey?” I asked. She shifted in her chair, drawing herself closer toward the edge of the table.

  “He told me that you threatened him and his company. Why would you do that, Gareth?” Aubrey asked. The sense of guilt that washed over me paralyzed me for a few seconds. I had never doubted my actions and decisions before, the way I doubted them now.

  Who was she to make me feel guilty? I didn’t know this woman. She knew nothing about me. I clenched my jaws and glared at her in anger, but instead of cowering from me, Aubrey held my gaze. She wasn’t being aggressive; she just looked like she was trying to understand me.

  “If you have nothing to do with this, then maybe you should stay out of it,” I snapped at her.

  Aubrey’s eyes grew large, and the tip of her nose was red. I had frightened her with my anger. My first instinct was to pull her into my arms and apologize. She gulped and nodded.

  “Yeah, that is what I want to do, but Hunter told me that you going after them could ruin their business,” she continued, and I sat back in my chair. I hadn’t expected Hunter Morgan or any of the guys from C Scape to admit a thing like that. I remained quiet while Aubrey stared at me.

  “I don’t know what you think my cousin has done to you, but I can vouch for him, if you value my opinion at all. He is not trying to be malicious to you or your company,” she continued.

  I could feel myself breaking inside.

  “So what you’re saying is that this wasn’t a set-up?” I asked, and Aubrey shook her head wildly.

  “I understand how this appears to you, but I promise you, Gareth, I had no idea who you were when we first met. My roommate, Ira, got me that pass to the ball. I was there only by chance, and the fact that we met was purely coincidental,” she said. I was glaring at her, fighting every urge in my body to give in.

  “And what about when you found out who I was?” I asked. Aubrey’s eyes softened. She was trying her best to convince me.

  “I didn’t make the connection. I looked you up online, but I didn’t think that you and my cousin were business rivals. Hunter never even crossed my mind, because I don’t really think about him at all. We’re related, but that’s it,” she continued, and I looked away from her.

  I didn’t want to believe a word of what she was saying. Every business instinct in me was telling me not to, but Aubrey had some kind of hold on me. It was difficult for me to just dismiss her.

  “Gareth, please, I would like you to consider not punishing Hunter just because you slept with his cousin.” wWen the words left Aubrey’s lips, I looked back at her. Her eyes were watering up, and I couldn’t keep an iron facade up anymore. I couldn’t stand the thought of her crying, and if this was her plan all along, to break me with her tears, she was successful.

  I stood up from my chair with a jerk. If I hadn’t broken away from her in that moment, I would have pounced on her. I would have kissed her.

  I walked over to the glass wall on the other side of the room, which gave me a clear view of the Hudson. I could sense Aubrey standing up from her chair as well.

  “I don’t want to be responsible for my cousin’s downfall. They have hundreds of employees. Hunter is on the brink of starting a family, as are his friends. I don’t know my cousin too well, but I know he looks up to you,” Aubrey continued, and I turned to face her.

  She had gulped down her tears and was trying to maintain a stronger front.

  I had to do everything I could to not pull her into my arms. We were looking at each other now, and I knew that I would never meet another woman like her again.

  “I may have overreacted,” I said.

  It was an admission I couldn’t imagine myself making. This was as good as admitting defeat. What was happening to me? What was she doing to me?

  I shoved my hands into the pockets of my pants, as I watched her licking her lips.

  “I don’t want to cause a fight between the two companies. This has all just been a big misunderstanding,” she continued, and I drew in a deep breath.

  “Gareth, please tell me that you believe me? I wasn’t trying to trick or manipulate you into anything,” she added, and I nodded slowly.

  “Okay, yes, I believe you,” I said.

  Aubrey breathed out shakily, looking away from me so she could gather herself. I watched her, staring at her beauty. How did she have this effect on me? Even if she was manipulating me again, I was a willing victim. I was falling for her charm knowingly.


  When she looked back at me, her eyes looked brighter. She seemed relieved.

  “Gareth, I’m sorry if you felt tricked or manipulated—that wasn’t my intention. I had no idea what was going on,” she said, and I nodded.

  “It’s fine. I’m going to let it go, whatever the truth is,” I said, and she gulped.

  “The truth is that none of this was planned. It’s all just a big weird coincidence,” she said.

  “Okay,” I replied.

  “So, you’re not going after C Scape?” she asked with a hopeful look in her eyes.

  “I can’t make promises for the future, but right now, no, not for this,” I said. Was I digging my own grave? I still couldn’t completely let go of that nagging feeling that C Scape had bullied me into submission. That they had used Aubrey again, because they knew exactly how hard I had fallen for her.

  “Okay, I can make my peace with that,” Aubrey said, and for the first time today, she smiled.

  I’d forgotten just how much I loved watching her smile. I didn’t smile though; I hadn’t yet accepted the fact that I was giving in to her demands.

  Aubrey looked about my office then, like she was seeing it for the first time. I wished she was seeing it under different circumstances.

  The longer that Aubrey stayed in the room with me, the weaker I could feel myself getting. I looked at my wristwatch, and she caught me looking.

  “I guess I should go. I’m sure I’ve taken up a lot of your time already. You’re a busy man,” she said. The truth was that I wanted her to stay with every fiber of my being. That would be a bad idea. The faster she could get out of here, the quicker I could go back to some sort of normalcy.

  “I have a meeting to attend in five minutes,” I said, and she nodded. She was smiling more enthusiastically now from relief. Whatever the circumstances were, I was glad that I’d been able to make her smile.

  She was turning to leave, and I stopped her.

  “Aubrey”

  “Gareth?” she said in a voice that set me on fire.

  “I just wanted to make it clear that we can’t have any sort of relationship now. Not when I know that you’re related to Hunter Morgan,” I said.

  Aubrey gulped, and that embarrassed look returned to her eyes. She nodded.

  “Of course. I wasn’t expecting to go on that date with you. I know that circumstances have changed,” she said, forcing a weak smile on her face.

  She had no idea how hard this was for me. That I hadn’t felt this miserable in all of my adult life. Not since I had the success I had now.

  “Goodbye, Aubrey,” I said quickly, before I could say anything else—like stay with me, come closer, I want you, I want to be inside you, I want to see you laugh.

  It was physically painful to watch her turn from me and walk toward the door. She looked at me once before she left.

  “It was nice while it lasted, Gareth. Take care of yourself,” she said.

  I couldn’t add anything to that. I watched her open the door, step out, and shut the door behind her. My hands rose up to my face. I could feel the weight on my shoulders, the piercing pain in the pit of my stomach.

  I had just watched the woman of my dreams walk out of my door. I had practically pushed her out! What could be more painful than that?

  I walked back to my desk and sat down on the chair with a thump. I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling. I was swiveling myself around on the chair, going over every decision I had made in the past ten days since I’d met Aubrey.

  This felt like the worst one, throwing her out of my life. However, the fact was that this was the right business decision to make. I had just done myself and my sanity a big favor.

  Aubrey deserved to be with someone else, someone not as paranoid and insecure as me.

  There was a knock on my door again, but this time it was Chad.

  “Sir, the meeting,” he reminded me, and I nodded. It was time to move on with my life.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Aubrey

  I was going back to Brunswick.

  I had done my best. I had tried to follow through on my dreams, and even though I’d had fun along the way, I had failed. These months in New York had been a drain on me, both financially and mentally, and it was time that I packed up my bags and bid adieu.

  I hadn’t been able to focus on my art as much as I should have, because I also had to make a living. Waitressing and doing part-time jobs barely made the rent, and it was not the life I had imagined myself leading. New York was a difficult city to crack, and it was about time that I admitted defeat. I wasn’t made for New York, and I had just been kidding myself all these months.

  “What are you going to do in Brunswick?” Ira asked.

  We were having a girls’ night in at our studio apartment. Just Ira and me, and several bottles of wine. We’d ordered loads of takeout to keep us well fed, and we’d changed into our pajamas and lounged around the apartment all night.

  Ira wasn’t happy about me leaving. She had tried to encourage me to stay and keep pushing, but I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to make the next month’s rent. Ira had already done a lot for me; she had been the best friend that I could have hoped for. Borrowing money from her, was not something I wanted to do. I was afraid of that ruining our friendship, and how long would I be able to sustain it?

  Besides, I needed to go home. Being here, in this apartment, reminded me of Gareth every day. It had been over two weeks since I’d last seen him, and it was crazy that I still hadn’t been able to get over him.

  “I’m going to rent an apartment so that I don’t have to move back in with my family. Then I’m going to beg the hair salon to give me back my old job, and on my time off, I’m going to paint,” I said with a giggle and raised my half-empty glass of wine in the air. Ira nodded her head. We were sitting on the couch, and our legs were tangled together.

  “Good, because you shouldn’t stop painting. You shouldn’t stop trying just because of a minor setback,” Ira said, and I rolled my eyes.

  “This was more than just a minor setback. I wasted time and money and energy in New York, and I have very little to show for it,” I said, and Ira patted my knees affectionately.

  “You do have something to show for it!”

  “Yeah, like the couple of cards I sold at the fair!” I retorted.

  Ira smiled, taking a long sip of her wine.

  “Oh, I’m going to miss you, Aubrey. Say what you like about those fairs, but we had fun at them,” she said dreamily.

  “Yeah, we sat on chairs all day and judged people.”

  “There were some cute guys there too.”

  “I wasn’t exactly looking for dates!”

  We both broke into giggles. This was going to be one of our last nights together.

  “I’m going to miss you too, Ira. I wished we’d met earlier. I wished you lived in Brunswick. The only reason I don’t want to go back is because I’m going to miss you,” I said, pouting my lips. Ira reached over and we hugged.

  She patted my back as I pulled away from her.

  “You know you can come back and visit whenever you like,” she said, and I nodded.

  “I don’t know if I’d want to come back anytime soon,” I said and sat back, cradling the glass in my hands.

  “Because of him?” she asked, not mentioning his name. I was glad she didn’t because I wasn’t sure how my body would react if I heard it.

  I nodded.

  “I think New York will always remind me of him. I know that sounds silly. I didn’t really know him. We hardly spent any time together,” I said, forcing a weak laugh.

  Ira looked sympathetic. I wished I could be more like her. She always had her things sorted. She was a strong, independent city girl who didn’t let things like men and the lack of money bring her down. Ira always knew how to have a good time. She always knew how to be positive.

  “It isn’t silly, my lovely. It’s natural. You felt a real connection with
him, even if it was just two nights,” she said, and I nodded. I could feel hot tears pricking the backs of my eyelids. My face was reddening the way it did when I was about to burst into tears. I gulped it down.

  “I was so stupid. Such an idiot! I’d just met the guy, we just had sex, and I was already imagining a future with him,” I said. Ira stroked my knees.

  “You won’t be the first one, Aubrey. A lot of us have done that, when we think we’ve met the right man. You know, the man,” she said, and I shook my head.

  “But I never thought I would. I never thought I would fall for someone so hard and so quick, like before I even had a chance to think. He was just so charming, and so kind and encouraging and warm and sexy…” I said and we looked at each other and laughed. My laugh was sad. All those things I was saying about Gareth were true. They were true feelings that I had felt. As hard as it was to believe.

  Ira reached over and hugged me again.

  “Well, I’m glad that it was ripped off like a Band-Aid. It just wasn’t meant to be. He’s a strange man—definitely wasn’t right for you. Imagine how much harder this would have been if you’d actually had a relationship, if you actually invested time and energy into him,” she said, and I nodded.

  “Yeah, a really rude silver lining,” I added.

  We drank some more wine, and Ira tried to change the topic of conversation. She was trying her best to not allow me to think about Gareth much.

  How could I not? He had been in this apartment. He had touched my things. He had been in my bed. At night, even though I had washed all those sheets a long time ago, I imagined that I could smell his rich luxurious cologne on my pillows.

  Sometimes when I looked up from my paintings, I thought I could imagine him standing there in the middle of the studio, in his fashionable suit with his hands stuck in the pockets of his pants.

  He didn’t want me. I was a bad idea.

  “You’re thinking about him again!” Ira scolded me, and I tried to smile.