The Stranger

by Anna del Mar

  His certainty sent shivers down my spine.

  I tried again. “Do you have a smoking gun?”

  “Of course I do and these notes tell me he has no clue what’s coming his way.”

  Crap.

  His eyes lifted and his stare met mine, sparkling with amusement. “I bet you’ve got some other morsels for me. I’m happy to pay a little more for dirt that sticks.”

  He wanted me to give him dirt on Seth. On his character. Fat chance. I’d already given Alex all he was going to get from me. I deflected his latest efforts with small, meaningless talk, because if I sent him to hell like I wanted to, greed would no longer suffice as my cover for being here.

  A burst of severe turbulence rattled the plane. My fear of flying returned in full force. I clenched my teeth and dug my nails into my seat.

  Alex laughed his cruel cackles. “Not a frequent flyer?”

  “More of a terrestrial animal.” I gagged and tried really hard not to vomit in his lap. After that, he left me more or less alone with my thoughts.

  I tried to keep panic at bay by focusing my attention on the radar. For the first part of our trip, we flew due north along Highway Four, high over Denali National Park and the Alaskan Range, a route I’d flown once before. After that, a few openings in the cloud cover allowed me to catch glimpses of the Yukon River below, as it weaved in and out of our path. At that point, the flight got so rough I had to close my eyes and hold on for dear life.

  All I could think about was Seth. As soon as he found out what I’d done, he’d hate me. I’d given him enough reasons for him to think I’d betrayed him. And if he looked at my bank account...yikes. His rage would be fast and profound. I closed my eyes and prayed that, someday, he’d find enough reasons to forgive me.

  My mind drifted. The memories of our time together soothed and tormented me at the same time. Seth’s stingy smile, so rarely given at the beginning, so generously offered as of late. His body, warm and solid between my arms, his mouth so eager for mine, his hands, hot as they slid between my legs...

  The fear of never seeing him again, combined with a memory of the grainy image of me naked on his table, uncorked a plug in my mind. Visions of our first night together burst through. The memories poured out, vivid, bright, and intense. For the first time ever, I remembered the sleepwalking episode in detail. It was...extraordinary.

  My body tingled as I recalled the passion of Seth’s first caresses, the need in his eyes. He’d been so kind and gentle, so intense and passionate. My pussy grew moist as I recalled the care that went into our union, the need that transformed our lives. I understood why the moment had been so important to Seth. It had been important to me too, but all this time, he’d carried the burden of that knowledge for both of us.

  The sweet memories scattered when the plane plunged into another pothole in the sky. My stomach bounced to my throat and got stuck there. I groped for a barf bag but couldn’t find one. Alex shot me a glare that said if you vomit, I’ll press the eject button. I swallowed an acid gulp, forgave Seth for lying to me, and begged God to give me a chance to buy back all my sins. I was pretty sure I was going to die today.

  From the air, our destination was but a tiny disruption in the tundra’s immensity, a chicken scratch on the earth along the Dalton’s lonely line. The landing was Joe Pilot’s finest moment. The plane bounded on the gravel runway like a basketball then skidded to a stop. I stumbled out of the aircraft repressing an impulse to kiss the earth beneath my feet.

  A decrepit sign announced our arrival at Coldfoot, Alaska, population ten. It comprised an old miner’s cabin, a cluster of rusting buildings, and a rambling restaurant that served as post office, general store, tourist center, rest stop, and gas station. I had enough presence of mind to take in the details. The weathered marquee announced the highest gas prices in the United States along with a perverse ultimatum: Next Services, 240 miles. All of this next to one of the most prolific oil pipelines in the world.

  Go figure.

  Alex’s cronies waited for us in the parking lot, two burly guys with scruffy beards and matching beer bellies. They started to give Alex a full report of their “monitoring” activities, but I wasn’t in the mood to wait.

  “Where is she?” I demanded, scouring the grounds. “Is she in the hotel?”

  “She’s hunkered over there.” One of the men gestured at the huge truck parked on the lot.

  I marched over to the gleaming freightliner, but whirled on Alex when he attempted to follow me.

  “You didn’t pay enough for a first-row seat,” I snapped. “This reunion is not for your benefit, so stay out of my way.”

  My fury must have been convincing. Alex fell behind, but he called after me.

  “Thirty minutes,” he said. “That’s all you have. And not a word of our agreement to your sister. If I find out you’ve told her, you’ll forfeit the balance of your honorarium.”

  “Scum,” I muttered under my breath. As if I cared about the money. Honorarium my ass.

  My head throbbed and the space between my shoulders ached, tight as a drum. I was literally at the end of my proverbial rope. But today was all about solutions and Tammy’s problem was also going to get resolved, right now.

  I climbed up on the driver’s side door and, balancing on the steps like a monkey, banged on the truck. Within seconds, the window framed a dark-haired man with high cheekbones, a hooked nose, and a pair of striking eyebrows that spiked when he saw me. His thin lips set into a grim line. He motioned for me to get down.

  “I’m not going away,” I yelled. “So open the damn door!”

  He lowered the window a tad. “If I open the door, I’ll knock you off the steps.”

  “Oh.” Fury and stress could make me stupid.

  I climbed down, he opened the door and then I climbed up again.

  “I’m Nikolai,” he said, holding out his hand.

  I ignored the man’s hand and glared at him. “Where is she? You might as well tell me right now. I’m not moving until you tell me.”

  “I’m right here.” My sister stepped into the cab from the back of the truck.

  I’d been prepared to face Tammy in the midst of a manic state, eyes glimmering with madness, words firing out of her mouth in a furious rat-a-tat, hands gesticulating wildly. Alternatively, I had prepared to find Tammy in a profound state of depression, sad, disheveled, and inconsolable.

  But the woman who faced me didn’t show any obvious signs of bipolar disorder. She stood there, smiling at me, calm but alert, wearing a pair of killer jeans and a royal blue turtleneck that complimented her coloring and looked amazing on her.

  “Please, sis.” She pouted prettily. “Don’t be mad at me.”

  It was hard not to succumb to Tammy’s natural charm. With her creamy complexion and her sparkling hazel eyes, her beauty was irresistible to most people. But I made a serious effort to dislike her. Yes, sir, I did. I clung to my anger with all I had.

  Tammy had put me through so much. She’d made me leave Miami and travel to Alaska. She was the reason I’d had to endure cold, discomfort, stress, and all sorts of new and unfathomable experiences, some of which I’d rather soon forget. She’d precipitated the events that had landed me in Seth’s bed and then, because of her, I’d had to betray the only man I’d ever loved. I tried to be mad at Tammy. I really did. Then she smiled.

  After all this time looking for my sister, after all the hassle, worry and anxiety, the fury just melted off me like butter on toast. I threw myself into Tammy’s embrace.

  “I’m sorry I worried you.” She sniffled. “I didn’t mean to make a mess of things.”

  “It’s okay.” I hugged her tightly, breathing in her familiar baby powder scent, spiced with a sharp note of...diesel fuel? I loosened my grip and, keeping my hands on her shoulders, pulled back a lit
tle to examine her closely. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m doing great.” She wiped a tear from my cheek. “I have so much to tell you!”

  “Why don’t we all have a seat?” Nikolai said. “Can I offer you some coffee?”

  I looked to Tammy.

  She nodded. “He makes the best café-con-leche.”

  “Second best,” I muttered, locking stares with Nikolai.

  What did I see in his black eyes?

  Concern for my sister, to whom he seemed connected by an invisible cable, but also a desire to please her that appeased me a little. I spotted a bit of Anya in him as well, or was that a glimpse of his yega?

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to be totally rude.”

  He didn’t miss a beat. “For Tammy, I can take all the rude you’ve got.”

  I gave him his first point on my mental scoreboard. “Coffee would be great.”

  Tammy and I sat on the convertible sofa in the back of the truck. Nikolai served a round of coffee and took a seat on a stool across from us. The truck’s sleeping compartment turned out to be a nice but compact space, including a small desk, a kitchenette, and a tiny bathroom in addition to the seating area that doubled as a bedroom.

  Tammy lifted her hands in the air and gestured around her. “You like?”

  “Very nice,” I said.

  “It’s fifty percent mine.”

  I jerked, spilling the coffee all over my lap. “What?”

  “Don’t get all bent out of shape.” Tammy grabbed some paper towels and wiped up the mess. “Before you go berserk, let me explain.”

  “It’s Louise who’s going to go nuts when she hears about this.”

  “You might not scream, holler or break the china,” Tammy said. “But you get really angry when things don’t go as planned. Whether it’s the silent treatment or the torture interrogation, you’re truly terrifying. And, oh, the glare. It wilts flowers. I told Nikolai. It’s the stuff of nightmares.”

  Seth had sort of implied the same thing. Was I really that bad? Me, the voice of reason in the Silva family, the point of balance?

  “This is not about me,” I said. “It’s about you.”

  “Allow me to explain,” she said. “I know I’m your little sister. You take care of me and I appreciate it, especially when I’m sick...” She choked. “I love you so much!”

  I squeezed her hand. “You left so suddenly and we were so worried.”

  “I had to go, Summer,” she said, “I was suffocating in my own breath. I know you and Mom love me. I know I suffer from a chronic disease. It’s rough some days and it’s not going to go away, but it doesn’t mean I can’t grow up and be an adult and run my own life.”

  “Of course not.”

  “So I grew up,” she said with a certainty that left me spinning. “I took charge of my own life. It wasn’t the chemical imbalance driving my decisions. It was me.” She eyed Nikolai, who sat quietly on his stool. “I need you to know. I’ve been talking to Nikolai for a long time. I didn’t take off after a random guy I met on the internet like you told all those people.”

  I bit my lips and winced. “You know about that?”

  “Who doesn’t?” Tammy grabbed a wrinkled paper from the desk and showed it to me. It was a printed copy of one of the flyers I’d emailed to everybody and their mothers. “The whole state of Alaska knows I’m a dumb blonde.”

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, a little embarrassed. “But you ran away with a total stranger...”

  “I met Nikolai in an exclusive chatroom for truck aficionados.” Tammy smiled at Nikolai and he smiled back. “Three years I’ve known this guy.”

  “Three years?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Three years was a good, solid amount of time to get to know someone and a lot better than three weeks.

  “He came down to see me in Miami. Last year. Remember when I went on that four-day cruise to the Bahamas with my girlfriends? Well, I didn’t go with the girls. I went with Nikolai. We had a great time together.”

  “Knowing someone from afar is very different from day-to-day living.”

  “That’s why I came,” Tammy said. “Nikolai wanted me to meet his family. He wanted to make sure I could be happy in Alaska. We wanted to see what it would be like to live and work together.”

  I frowned. “Work together?”

  Tammy nodded excitedly. “Yes, listen to this. I’ve already completed a six-month online program on commercial driving management. I got an A. Me. An A!”

  It was hard to believe. Tammy had barely managed to graduate from high school, flunked out of college and was never able to stick with her community college classes.

  “Next week,” she said, “I start a sixteen-day class to get my commercial freightliner driver’s license. After that, I’m doing my internship. In this truck. With Nikolai, who’s had a commercial driver’s license for ten years. And after that, we already have a contract for long-distance cargo hauling, right here in Alaska.”

  I stared at Tammy, willing my mouth to stay closed. Tammy had committed to something. Tammy had completed a course. Tammy, my little sister, irresponsible, willful, impulsive Tammy who’d never earned a penny in her life, had lined up an employment contract and a way to make a living.

  Wake up, Summer. You’re dreaming again.

  Reality check. What if this was a different stage of her disease? What if this was a new kind of manic, a subversive, harder-to-detect symptom of her bipolarity, a tricky turn that would blow up in our faces?

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Tammy said. “I’m not in a manic stage. I’m as balanced and stable as I’ve ever been. I feel great and I’m fully medicated. Ask Nikolai.”

  I glanced at Nikolai. “So he knows everything?”

  “Of course he knows,” Tammy said. “He’s known for a while. He has to if he’s going to be with me. He has a brother who’s bipolar.”

  “Is that true?” I asked.

  “My brother gets along fine when he’s on his meds and so does your sister,” Nikolai said. “Tammy’s gotten really good at taking her meds. When she forgets, I remind her.”

  Reminding Tammy to take her meds had been my job. I was the one who counted her pills, organized them every Sunday and made sure she took them properly. I took care of Tammy. Correction. I used to take care of Tammy.

  I took in Nikolai’s face, the dark curls framing a strong nose. How did I really feel about my replacement? How did I feel about giving up my caregiver’s role?

  Empty. Scared. A little sad but also relieved. It had been such a large part of my life for so long.

  “I’m thinking clearly,” Tammy assured me. “Unlike you and Mom, Nikolai doesn’t think that someone with bipolar disease is a cripple.”

  I cringed. Was she right? Was that how I’d thought of Tammy all these years? Out of love and fear, had I been too overprotective of my sister?

  “Tammy knows what she’s doing,” Nikolai offered in his quiet way. “And she’s a hell of a good driver. She’s good even on sheer ice.”

  Unlike her idiot of a sister.

  “Tammy’s smart,” Nikolai said. “She knows her mechanics. She’s passionate about trucks, but you know that. I’m not at the top of the food chain yet, but I’ve got a stake in my family’s homestead and a place of my own. I work hard, I make a good living and Tammy will never go without if she sticks with me. I love her. It’s why I asked her to marry me.”

  “And I did,” Tammy said. “This morning.”

  The blood drained out of my veins. My fingers and toes went numb. I’d known they had a marriage license when I came out to Coldfoot, but I’d hoped to stop them before they got married. But I was too late. Nikolai had asked Tammy to marry her and she had accepted. They were married now. Married!

  “Mar
riage is such a...” Terrible state of slavery? Dreadful type of dependency? Trap? The words got stuck in my throat.

  “I know you had a bad experience,” Tammy said. “But I want to be married. I want children. Don’t you want kids someday? Mom and Dad had a great life together. Why couldn’t we have it too?”

  Why indeed?

  Because I was a biased, bitter, self-righteous, burned-out bitch who measured other people’s lives by my own failures.

  I took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me that this is what you wanted?”

  “Would you have believed me?” she asked. “Let’s not even talk about Mom. She would’ve forbidden me to come. Tell me the truth, Summer: Would you have allowed your sick little sister to go chasing after her dreams?”

  She was right. I would have said no a thousand times. I’d come here to save my sister from Nikolai and return her safely home. Instead, I’d discovered my own prejudices. In trying to help Tammy, I’d done more harm than good. I’d failed to see that her happiness depended on her abilities rather than mine. I’d suffocated her with my care. I’d tried to design her life when she wanted to draw up her own plans. She had a right to chase after her own dreams. It was all very hard to take, but it was the honest truth.

  Something changed at that moment. In my mind, I opened my fist and let the wind flow through my fingers. The knot that had tortured my stomach for the last three weeks dissipated. My sister had turned into a woman, capable of making her own decisions. She didn’t need me anymore. And it was okay.

  “I knew you were looking for me,” Tammy said. “But I needed the time away to make sure this was the right thing for me. I thought I was done for when Seth Erickson found us.”

  So Seth had found Tammy, like Alex said, and then decided not to tell me. “When did he find you?”

  “He tracked us down smack in the middle of the Star Lake mess,” Tammy said. “His chief of cyber security located us. He contacted Nikolai and patched Seth through. Seth drilled Nikolai. Boy, that guy’s relentless. We had several conversations.”

  The sting burned hotter than ever.