Sweet Trouble

by Susan Mallery

  She hurt every time she thought of him. Her heart ached and her body burned. She missed being around him, missed his touch, his laugh, the way he knew her, understood her. Telling herself that knowledge had allowed him to devastate her didn’t take away the fact that she still loved him.

  “I’ll ask him,” she promised, knowing it was the right thing to do. Knowing she would get through it and hey, maybe even be stronger for it. She would ignore the fact that every time she was with him, another piece of her heart withered and died.

  GABE SNIFFED ONCE, then sneezed. Matt laughed. “Not that one, huh?”

  His son wrinkled his nose. “It doesn’t smell like Grandma.”

  Jesse bent down and touched Gabe’s cheek. “Are you sure you want to get perfume? Grandma might like a nice sweater, or some gloves to keep her warm this winter.”

  Their four-year-old shook his head. “I want ’fume. But it has to smell like Grandma.”

  Matt glanced at the sales associate who had patiently sprayed scents on half a dozen paper sticks and handed them to Gabe. “Sorry about this,” he said. “We should have headed him off earlier.”

  She smiled. “That’s fine. The right scent is important.”

  She was pretty enough, and smiling in a way that let Matt know she was more than interested. Not that he cared. His attention was solely on Jesse, who had been polite and emotionally distant ever since he’d picked both her and Gabe up an hour ago at his mom’s place.

  He’d been surprised when she’d called him about his mother’s birthday and pleased when she’d suggested the three of them go shopping. Even her making it clear that the idea had been Gabe’s didn’t detract from his pleasure in her company. However he got to spend time with her was fine with him. He would use every minute to his advantage.

  “You don’t like any of these?” Jesse asked.

  Gabe shook his head.

  “Not even this one?” She picked up the sample of the first fragrance.

  “Uh-uh.”

  “Maybe we should take a break from perfume shopping,” Jesse told the boy. “I want to get Grandma a sweater, so let’s do that and we’ll try somewhere else.”

  “Okay.” He slipped his hand in hers. “Grandma likes red.”

  “Yes, she does.” Jesse glanced at Matt. “Is this making you crazy?”

  “Not yet.”

  She smiled. It was an easy smile that told him, at least for the moment, she’d forgotten to be on her guard. Then the smile faded and she looked away.

  “We should go upstairs,” she said. “I saw sweaters there.”

  Matt hesitated. “I’m going to grab a coffee. You want one?”

  “No, thanks.”

  He waited until they’d gone up the escalator, then returned to the perfume counter. The girl was waiting.

  “You’re back,” she said, her tone suggestive.

  He ignored that. “The first perfume we tried. What was it?”

  “Shi by Alfred Sung. It’s lovely. One of my favorites.” All he cared about was that Jesse had liked it.

  “Give me a bottle. Or a set. Do you have a set?”

  She showed him a box with perfume and lotion.

  “I’ll take that.” Maybe showing Jesse that he paid attention would help.

  He caught up with them over a table of sweaters. She glanced at his package. “What happened to the coffee?”

  “I changed my mind.”

  She held up a dark red sweater. “I think Paula would look great in this. What do you think?”

  “I agree.”

  She glanced at the price and winced, then shrugged. “She’s worth it.”

  He wanted to point out that the money he’d deposited in her bank account would keep her comfortable, but guessed that was the wrong tack to take. He also didn’t offer to pay for the sweater. She would take that as an insult.

  “Now we’re getting ’fume?” Gabe asked as they stood in line to pay.

  Jesse nodded. “There’s a Sephora store here. Let’s try there. You might like the Philosophy scents.” She looked at Matt. “They’re really clean and appealing.”

  “Then we’ll go there next.”

  She paid for the sweater. Matt took the bag from the clerk. “I can carry this.”

  Jesse hesitated. “Thanks.”

  They walked toward the escalator. As they paused at the top, waiting for a couple of women to go in front of them, he put his hand on the small of her back.

  He felt the heat of her body through the fabric of her long-sleeved T-shirt. She didn’t react at all. Was she aware of his touch? Enduring for the sake of Gabe? What did she think when she looked at him? Did she allow any possibility of forgiveness?

  One step at a time, he reminded himself. He’d worked his plan before and it had turned into a disaster. This time he was going to live the moment, doing the best he could to prove himself to her.

  They left Nordstrom’s. Matt motioned to the Ben Bridge Jewelry store. “I need to stop here.”

  Jesse raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

  “I want to get my mom a pair of earrings.” He didn’t mention that for the past five years he hadn’t bothered with a gift at all. He’d been too angry, then too lazy to bother. Another relationship that needed mending, he thought. Although Paula had been completely open to his apologies.

  Jesse followed Matt inside the jewelry store. The beautiful pieces glittered and winked from behind their protective cases. At least everything was locked up so she didn’t have to worry about Gabe bumping into a display or picking up something breakable. She relaxed her death grip on his hand, although still kept him close.

  Matt walked up to the salesman behind one of the counters. “I’d like to see what you have in black Tahitian pearls,” he said firmly.

  Jesse blinked. Okay, so he was a man who knew what he wanted. She wasn’t sure she even knew what Tahitian pearls were.

  “Right over here, sir,” the man said and moved to his left. He opened the back of the case and brought out several pairs of earrings.

  She stared at the deeply colored pearls. They were lovely and sophisticated. Some dangled, some had diamonds. Matt pointed at the pair with the largest pearl, each set off by a sizeable diamond.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  “They’re exquisite,” she told him. “The dark pearls will be beautiful with Paula’s coloring.”

  “Good. I’ll take these.”

  Jesse noticed he didn’t bother asking the price. She knew he could afford whatever they were. Five years ago he would have writhed and hesitated. Not because he was cheap but because he’d never spent the money he earned. He’d been too busy being a computer nerd. He’d been sweet and honorable and he’d made her feel safe. If she had to say what she’d missed the most when she’d left, she would have to admit it was how right she’d felt in his arms. Like she belonged. As if nothing bad would ever happen.

  “Mommy, look.”

  Gabe pointed to a display of diamond bracelets. Several of them looked expensive enough to cost the same as a small car.

  “They’re pretty.”

  “I like that one.”

  She looked at the white-gold bangle with graduated diamonds.

  “It’s very nice.”

  Matt moved next to her. “Which one do you like?” he asked Gabe.

  The boy pointed.

  “You should try it on, Jess.”

  She took a step back. “No, thanks.”

  “Not your style?”

  It was too beautiful for her to say that. “I don’t have anywhere to wear it.”

  The salesman pulled the bracelet out of the case. “Today women wear bracelets like this all the time.”

  Not in her world, she thought, releasing Gabe and tucking her hands behind her back. “I’m okay. Thanks.”

  “Just try it on,” Matt told her. “See how it looks.”

  As if it could look bad. “I’m-” All three of them were staring at her. She sighed. “Fine.
I’ll try it on.”

  “This is a Journey bracelet. Two carats of diamonds set in white gold.” He put it around her wrist.

  It fit perfectly and looked amazing. Jesse had never tried on anything this lovely before. The diamonds seemed perfect, so bright and practically casting a rainbow when they caught the light.

  “We’ll take it,” Matt said.

  She gasped. “No, we won’t.”

  “Why not? You like it. It looks good on you.”

  “It’s insane. I can’t take this.”

  “Your bracelet is pretty, Mommy,” Gabe said.

  It was too much. It implied…she wasn’t sure what, but something. It had to.

  Matt leaned toward her. “A man giving the mother of his child a gift is traditional.”

  “There’s a stretch,” she muttered. “I can’t. And even if I could, this is too extravagant.”

  “Your gift with interest. Please, Jesse. I want you to have this.”

  “It doesn’t prove anything,” she whispered. “It’s not going to make me like you more.”

  The words sounded more harsh than she’d intended, but before she could apologize, he nodded.

  “I know you well enough to believe that. Take the bracelet. Because it’s nearly as beautiful as you are. Please.”

  His dark gaze seemed to see inside of her, to the place that still wanted to believe in him.

  “Matt, I-” She nodded. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He looked pleased. Not victorious, but happy. Which shouldn’t have made her feel better, but it did.

  SATURDAY MORNING, BILL took Paula out to run some errands so the rest of them could get ready for the party. Matt arrived right at ten-thirty, his arms filled with bags and packages.

  “I still have the cake in the car,” he said as he put everything on the kitchen table. Then he grabbed Gabe and swung him in his arms. “How’s my best boy?” he asked.

  Gabe laughed. “We bought ice cream.”

  “I had to hide it in the back of the freezer,” Jesse told him, trying to keep things light, trying not to show how good it was to see him. “Why don’t you go get the cake and I’ll get this unpacked?”

  “Sure.”

  He ruffled Gabe’s hair then went back out to his car. Jesse unpacked the various bags. He’d bought everything she’d asked him to. The three-foot sub sandwich she’d ordered, the matching paper napkins and cake plates. There were two sprays of flowers from the florist in Woodinville, a small wrapped package that was his mother’s present and a bag full of cheesy birthday banners and party favors.

  She set out the latter and had Gabe separate them into piles so they could fill goodie bags. Matt returned with the cake.

  They worked together, setting the table, then slicing the sandwich. Matt blew up balloons and hung the banner. Gabe mostly got in the way, but Matt was patient.

  Together they loaded the dozen or so goodie bags for all the guests. Matt held them open while Gabe dropped in the silly prizes. Jesse watched them, seeing the similarities in their eyes, the way they moved. Love filled her, for the boy and the man. Then she reminded herself what the man had done and turned away.

  Paula and Bill got back at noon. Jesse, Gabe and Matt, joined by neighbors and Paula’s friends, hid in the kitchen, then jumped out, yelling, “Surprise!”

  She actually looked startled, then delighted. “A party for me? I haven’t had one in years.” She gave them all a hug before they sat down to lunch.

  Afterward, before Paula opened her presents, Bill took Jesse aside.

  “How you doing?” he asked.

  “Better.”

  “Still hurting?”

  She shrugged. No one wanted to hear the truth. She didn’t want to live it, but it was impossible to escape.

  He put a hand on her arm. “I don’t know if this is the time or not, but I’m going to ask Paula to marry me tonight. When I take her to dinner.”

  Jesse laughed. “Seriously? That’s fast.”

  He looked both pleased and chagrined. “I knew it was right the second I met her. We’re old enough to know what we want and that’s each other. I talked to Matt about it. Not to ask his permission, exactly, but to let him know my intentions.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That he was happy for us both.” Bill squeezed her arm. “I’m going to sell the bar. Paula and I have talked about getting a big RV and driving around the country for a couple of years. We’ll come back here to see you and Gabe every couple of months, then settle here permanently when we’re done seeing what we want to see.”

  Jesse didn’t want to think about them being gone, then reminded herself they were her friends and of course she wanted them to be happy.

  “I told Matt,” Bill continued. “He wants to buy the house and give it to you. So you’ll always have somewhere of your own. Paula and I will get our own place later.”

  She didn’t know what to think. “He can’t buy me a house.” She’d thought the bracelet was too much.

  “It’s about making things right. He wants to take care of you and Gabe.”

  Jesse couldn’t believe it. “He got to you?”

  “There’s no getting. He made a mistake. It’s going to be a long time before I trust him with your heart, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try to do the right thing.”

  Was it doing the right thing or was it just for show? “I can’t believe in him again,” she whispered. “I just-I need a second.”

  She pushed past him and walked outside.

  The air was quiet, the temperature warm. It was still summer, but soon the days would shorten and it would be fall. She’d already signed Gabe up for preschool. Time continued to flow, no matter how much she wanted to turn it back.

  She heard footsteps behind her, then strong hands settled on her shoulders.

  “You all right?” Matt asked.

  He was so close, she thought longingly. All she had to do was relax and she could lean on him. Just let him take over and manage her life. The thought was tempting and very foolish.

  “Bill told me that he’s going to ask Paula to marry him,” she said.

  “You’re not out here because of that. You’re upset about the house.”

  She turned to face him. His hands fell to his sides and she desperately wanted them back on her. “You can’t do that. You can’t buy me things and expect it to be okay. It’s not.”

  “I want you to be taken care of. My mom will want to sell the house and you need a place to live. It’s not like you’re going to come and live with me.”

  No, she wasn’t going to do that. “Matt,” she began.

  “I’ll put the house in Gabe’s name, if that will make you happy,” he said, cutting her off. “It can be in a trust fund until he’s twenty-five. I want you to know you always have a place to go.” He cupped her cheek. “I can’t take back what I did, but I’ll do whatever I have to so I can prove myself to you. All I need from you is a chance. You still love me. I’m the father of your child. We belong together, Jesse. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll prove it to you.”

  She desperately wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t. She knew that he would get tired of trying to win her and move on.

  She turned away, but he grabbed her and pulled her close. Then his mouth was on hers, so hot and sweet she couldn’t help but give in. She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against hers, claiming her, making her want him more than she wanted to breathe. Passion flared, then grew. She trembled with need and hope and finally with despair.

  She drew back.

  His eyes were dark with fire. His breathing was as fast and ragged as her own.

  “You used up all your second chances already,” she whispered. “There’s nothing you can say or do to make me trust you ever again.”

  “I won’t give up. I’ve spent the past five years missing you. I did my best to distract myself, but it didn’t work. I love you, Jesse. I’d rather spend the rest of my li
fe trying to change your mind than be with anyone else. I’m not going away. You’d better get used to that.”

  She was too surprised by his words to move, so he got to be the one to walk away. She watched him return to the house, then closed her eyes and prayed that he meant everything he said and that she could one day forgive him.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “MATT’S MEETING US TOMORROW morning,” Jesse said as she loaded the last of the dinner dishes in the dishwasher.

  Paula stored the leftovers in the refrigerator. “Are you sure?”

  “He called earlier and said he’d be there. He said he bought a new digital camcorder, so he can capture the whole event.” He’d also offered to make her a copy so they would both have Gabe’s first day at his new preschool to view in the future.

  Paula straightened, then frowned. “But the worldwide launch of his company’s latest game is at eight in the morning. There’s a simultaneous release around the world. They’ve been planning the event for months. It’s been on the news.”

  Jesse didn’t know what to say. She’d known there was a new game in the works, but there was always a new game. “Why is this launch so special?”

  “It’s the sequel to some game from a few years ago. Apparently it’s a big deal. People have been waiting for months. There are going to be launch parties all over the world and the ones sponsored by his company are being televised to each other. So if you’re at the Seattle party, you can see people in London and Tokyo. According to Business Week, this game is supposed to increase profits at least thirty percent over last year. I can’t believe Matt would miss all that.”

  Jesse couldn’t either. “He never mentioned anything to me,” she said slowly. “He’s the president of the company. He should be there for that.”

  “I guess he wants to prove a point,” Paula told her. “That family is more important than anything.”

  He’d been doing a lot of proving lately, she thought. Showing up exactly on time for his days with Gabe, never returning him a second late. In the past few weeks, Matt had been attentive, caring and friendly, without pushing. There’d been no repeat of the kiss, a fact that should make her happy. She didn’t trust him, right? But she sure missed his kisses, along with other things.