by ML Hamilton
“Hey, baby,” he said, his voice softening more than she’d ever heard it. Elena knew she ought to turn away and give him some semblance of privacy, but she was intrigued with this side of him. “Is something wrong?”
Elena could almost hear the little voice on the other end of the line. Joshua’s eyes narrowed in concentration as he listened patiently.
“I see,” he said, “and Annie told you this place had the best pizza, eh? Uh huh, okay. Well, I’ll make you a deal. Get everything packed so we can leave as soon as I get there and we’ll talk about it on the way.” He smiled briefly at Elena as he listened to the chatter of his daughter. “All right, I’ll see you soon, baby.” A deep laugh rumbled in his throat as the voice on the line changed. “Seems I’ve been conned again, eh Ethel? No, we won’t be going anywhere special, just make sure she packs a few sweaters. The beach can get cold in the evenings.” He paused and drew a deep breath, a frown creasing his forehead. “No, wait, Ethel, I don’t want to talk with her, I...” He shook his head in frustration. “I sent the check the day before yesterday, she should receive it tomorrow...I...no, Ethel...I don’t...Ethel...” He paused and chewed on his lip. “Hello, Terry. I thought you were going away for the weekend. No, I told your mother I sent the check on Wednesday. What?!” He rose suddenly to his feet, his fingers tightening on the phone. “No, don’t do this to me, Terry. Damn it, I promised her this weekend. Don’t punish me through Tiffany. Shit...”
He slammed the phone down on the cradle and ran his hands through his loose hair. Elena thought she ought to leave, but he was so upset she couldn’t do it. Sliding the papers off her lap into the other chair, she leaned forward.
He grabbed the phone again and punched the buttons severely. “Hello...Terry ...damn it, don’t hang up on me again. Don’t threaten me with Tiffany. You promised her that she could spend the weekend with me, don’t let her down again.” Elena thought she could hear crying in the background. Joshua drew a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Please, Terry, don’t do this. Look, I’ll bring some cash with me. That’ll hold you over until the check arrives tomorrow, all right?” He opened his eyes and fixed them on Elena’s anxious face. Slowly he nodded and swallowed convulsively. “All right, five hundred, I promise. Let me talk to Tiffany now, please.” Again he waited while the phone changed hands. “Hey, baby, it’s okay. Don’t cry. Daddy’s coming to get you so get packed and we’ll go to that pizza parlor Annie told you about. Yes, sweetheart, I promise.”
Slowly he replaced the phone in its cradle and took a seat, running his fingers through his hair. “Sorry,” he said stiffly, “Didn’t mean for you to hear that.”
Elena didn’t know what to say for a moment. Finally she forced a smile. “I’m sorry I intruded like this...”
“No,” he said, looking up and shaking his head. “My ex-wife’s a...well, she uses my daughter to keep me in line. I’m supposed to have Tiffany every weekend, but I’m lucky if I get two in a month. Every time Terry wants something from me, she uses Tiffany as a weapon.”
“Why don’t you take her to court?”
Joshua leaned back in his chair and regarded Elena closely. “Take her to court and risk the custody I already have? I’m a heroin addict with a history of promiscuity.”
“You’ve been clean for nine years,” she said adamantly.
Joshua laughed low in his throat. “You do your homework.”
“David told me.”
He nodded in understanding. “I’ve been clean for nine years, yes, but it’s not enough. If I took Terry to court, she’d drag out my drug addiction and parade every woman I’ve slept with in the last five years before the judge. Not to mention my two suicide attempts.” He swiveled his chair to face the window.
Elena stared at his profile. Suicide? She’d read in the tabloids he’d tried to take his life, but she never knew whether to believe those slanderous rags or not. As she stared at him, it suddenly occurred to her that he was a deeply troubled man with a deeply troubled past. Not someone you bring home to your mother. Still it amazed her. The Joshua Ravensong she’d come to know, albeit briefly, seemed self-assured and strong - not subject to weaknesses like drug addiction and suicide.
He turned back toward her, his eyes glinting in the light from his desk lamp. “You wanted to see me about something.”
She collected herself quickly. “I wanted to thank you for coming to my rescue. Julian can get me so flustered that I can’t think straight.”
“I know,” he said with a half-smile. “Don’t worry about it. I love rubbing his nose in it whenever I can...” He paused and his look became more intense. “Elena, I was really out of line this morning. I owe you an apology...”
“No,” she began, shaking her head, but he stopped her with an upraised hand.
“Let me finish, okay?”
She nodded.
“I had no business prying into your personal life, let alone...” His voice halted significantly. “Anyway, I hope we can put it aside and get to know each other, maybe be friends.” He laughed to himself. “That would be a new concept for me, being friends with a woman I’m attracted to...” He halted and his face grew serious. “Anyway, I’m willing to try.”
“I’d like that,” Elena answered, forcing an uneasy smile. It’s what she’d wanted him to say, so why did she feel disappointed? Was it because she’d been right and he’d only been after the conquest, he’d only been attracted to her unavailability and now he wasn’t any longer? She didn’t know, but she was disappointed. Nothing like being fickle, Elena, she thought.
“Well, I’d better be going,” she said, trying to arrange the papers and folders into a manageable pile. “I’ve got a lot of work to do this weekend.”
Joshua watched her mess with the papers for a moment. “What is all of that?”
Elena glanced up at him. “Files of past clients Julian wants me to purge.”
“Over the weekend?”
She nodded and rose to her feet, juggling the huge pile in her arms. Joshua shook his head, but also rose to his feet, crossing around the desk and opening the door for her.
“Can I help you to your car?”
“No thanks,” she said, looking up at him. “Enjoy your weekend.”
He glanced down on the papers in her arms and laughed. “Enjoy yours,” he said and watched her walk from the office, staggering under the load.
He felt eyes on him and he looked down into Alice’s curious face. “Why haven’t you left yet?” he demanded with mock severity.
“I was waiting for his lord and master to release me of my duty.”
“Go home, Alice,” he said, turning his back on her and walking into the office.
She grabbed her purse and moved to the doorway, watching him sort a few papers on his desk. “So, you like her, don’t you?”
He looked up quickly and narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw the way you watched her. You’re infatuated, Joshua.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” he said in irritation. “She’s engaged to a doctor.”
“Uh huh,” said Alice with an amused nod, “and you’re skirting the real issue.”
He glared at her. “Go home, Alice,” he said again. “Before I decide to fire you.”
“Night, Chief.”
“Good night.” Joshua watched his secretary leave the office, turning off the outer light as she went.
As he pushed his papers into a neat pile, the cuff of his shirt sleeve lifted, revealing a long pink scar across his wrist. He stared at it a moment in silence, thinking of Elena. What had possessed him to tell her anything about his life, his fears
regarding Terry, or allow her to see his weakness when it came to his daughter? Hell, he’d almost begged Terry on the phone in front of her. He didn’t want Elena that close, he didn’t want her knowing his personal problems. He only wanted to bed her and then walk away as he had with all the other women in his life - didn’t he?
CHAPTE
R 4
Elena tossed the salad, trying to keep all the ingredients in the bowl rather than on the counter top. Kate stood with her back to the sink, shaking the dressing and staring at Elena with a smirk.
“So the tabloids have it that Joshua Ravensong is no longer with Megan Wheeler.”
Elena glanced at her from the corner of her eyes, but said nothing. Lifting the bowl, she headed for the kitchen table, pushing Savanna off onto the floor.
“Well?”
She looked up at her friend with raised eyebrows. “Well? Bring the dressing and let’s eat.”
Kate shook her head in annoyance, but moved toward the table, offering the bottle of dressing. “What’s the inside scoop? Did he break it off with his long-legged, well-endowed model?”
Elena reached for a salad bowl and filled it. Some of the lettuce fell out onto the table and Kate retrieved it, placing it in her mouth.
“He mentioned something about it.”
“When?”
“The other night,” said Elena, handing Kate the bowl.
“The other night? When we developed the pictures?”
“Yes,” said Elena with an absent nod. She filled her own bowl and took a seat at the table.
“What happened that night?” Kate leaned an elbow on the table, her eyes narrowing with interest.
Elena reached for the salad dressing, unscrewing the top. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? Hell, this is like pulling teeth. You didn’t have your car, Ellie. How did you get to work the next day?”
Elena recapped the bottle, licking a drop of dressing off her index finger. “Joshua drove me.”
Kate pursed her lips. “He came and picked you up the next morning?”
“Not exactly,” said Elena, plunging her fork into the salad.
Kate glared at her friend, reaching out and stopping her hand from lifting the fork. “Spill it.”
Elena drew a deep breath and put her fork down, reaching for her glass of wine. She took a sip, then replaced the glass. “It was very late, so Joshua spent the night...”
Kate gasped.
“On the couch,” Elena added quickly.
Kate looked disappointed. “Nothing happened then?”
“No,” said Elena, picking up her fork again. “Well…”
Immediately Kate moved forward. “Well?”
“He did kiss me.”
Kate’s eyes widened. “He kissed you and you weren’t going to tell me.”
“No, I wasn’t. It was a horrible mistake. I should never have let him do it. When I asked him to stop...well, we said some very cruel things to each other.”
Kate shook her head sadly. “I told you he wanted you. Why’d you go and ruin it by fighting with him?”
“Because it was a mistake, Katie. I’m engaged...”
“To an old fart you don’t love.”
Elena sighed. “That is a problem,” she admitted. “I didn’t realize how little I felt for John until Joshua...well, let’s say I almost didn’t stop him.”
“Then you enjoyed it?”
Elena looked down at the table. “I guess I did.”
“What was it like? I mean you think these stars are really, you know, fantastic, but then you meet them and they aren’t that great.”
“He’s great. I’ve never been kissed like that, Katie. For a minute I forgot everything. He really knows what he’s doing...too well. Afterwards I realized he’s had a lot of experience with women. I don’t think I want to get tangled up with that, you know?”
“Yeah,” said Kate, surprising Elena.
“You agree with me?”
“Hell, Ellie, I wasn’t suggesting you marry the guy, I just suggested you have a fling. Even more so I was hoping you’d forget about John. Look, Joshua Ravensong isn’t the man for you. He’s got too many hang-ups. You think I’d wish that on my best friend. But he’s so damn cute. A little fling would be harmless fun, if you’re careful.”
Elena stuck her fork into her salad again. “I don’t know. Anyway, what am I going to do about John? How can I marry a man I don’t want to sleep with?”
Kate shook her head. “I don’t know. A lifetime is awfully long and he really isn’t that old. Just think about it, Ellie, he could live to be one hundred.”
Elena laughed. “Yeah, but I’ll be seventy-nine. I don’t think it’ll matter much then.”
“Then think about the fact that his oldest daughter is four years younger than you are. He isn’t going to want to have kids. Don’t you want a family someday?”
Elena considered the question a moment. She did want a family. “Yeah, I’ve always thought I’d have kids someday, I just didn’t think they’d be old enough to drink by the time I got them.”
They both laughed. Elena returned to her salad, but she couldn’t stop thinking about her future life with John. She’d never given it much thought until the other morning with Joshua. And why did Joshua keep popping into her mind? She’d told herself over and over that she didn’t want anything to do with him. He was trouble, and yet, she kept reliving their kiss.
* * *
Elena walked down the hallway of Avalanche toward the elevators and home. It was late again, another boring day spent purging files for Julian, and she wished she didn’t have to cross the bridge. Even as late as it was, there would still be traffic.
She punched the button on the elevator and waited impatiently, rocking back and forth on her heels. The tinkling of a piano in the distance distracted her from her sore neck muscles. A few random notes, then silence, followed by a few more. She didn’t think there was anyone left here this late, except the janitors, and the only one she knew who played the piano was Robert, the keyboardist.
Lord, the elevator was taking a long time. Again the piano distracted her; however, this time it wasn’t a few notes which reached her but a hauntingly beautiful melody. She frowned in confusion. Who would still be here? She’d seen Robert leave earlier, saying he was going home to his model wife, but could he have come back again?
The melody was stirring, so poignant she could hardly resist the pull of it. Whoever was playing was damn good at the piano. She tried to place the melody, but she’d never heard it before. Turning on her heel, she started toward the sound, but the elevator bell rang and the doors opened. She stopped and looked into the empty chamber, undecided.
The piano fell silent. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned to the elevator, but once again the melody picked up, seemingly where it left off. Elena glanced down the hall, then cursed as the elevator doors closed. Well, she wasn’t going to wait for it to climb to the top floor and descend again.
Moving down the hall on tired legs, she halted before the auditorium, her hand on the handle. The piano was still singing in beautiful rhythm to the fingers which played it. Resolved, she gently pressed the handle down and inched the door open, not wanting to distract the virtuoso.
She caught sight of Joshua’s back and shoulders, his black mane of hair. He was sitting at the piano, lost in the rhythm of the music, his fingers gliding over the keys. Elena couldn’t help herself as she stepped through the door, closing it carefully. The sound of the melody washed over her, filling her with loneliness.
She couldn’t take her eyes off his long-fingered hands, moving with such skill and accuracy over the keys as if caressing them, and she remembered the touch of those hands on her own body. It seemed as if he was touching the keys with the same expertise.
Then suddenly he stopped and picked up a pencil lying on top of the piano. Leaning forward he wrote on the sheet music spread before him.
Feeling suddenly like an unwanted intruder, she waited until he picked up the strain again and turned, moving as silently as she could toward the door. The piano fell silent and Elena halted, grimacing.
“What do you think?” came his deep, smooth voice.
She looked over her shoulder and saw that he hadn’t turned. He couldn’t possibly know who she was. Maybe if she just hurried, he wou
ld never know. For some reason that seemed too sneaky even for her.
“About what?” she asked.
He turned on the bench in surprise and eyed her. His gaze raked up and down her body and she shivered, suppressing a desire to make sure she was properly clothed.
“I thought...” His brow furrowed a moment, then he smiled. For a moment she almost believed he was happy to see her, not angry for her invasion. “I thought you were one of the janitors. They come in here when I’m working late to hear me play.”
Elena turned around completely now, feeling foolish still. “I didn’t mean to intrude,” she said.
“I don’t mind.” Then he cocked his head, a mischievous light in his eyes. “But I always make my audience give me a review.”
She moved toward the piano. “I didn’t know you played,” she said, motioning at it.
“Do you?” he asked, running his fingers over the keys.
Elena shook her head. “I’m very musically untalented,” she admitted and returned the smile he flashed at her.
“This was the first thing I learned. My mother thought it so important that I take lessons. I guess she figured it was a cultured thing to do.”
Elena leaned against the piano and furrowed her brow at him. “Cultured? What did that matter?”
“I was raised on the reservation until I was five.”
“I didn’t know that,” she said, intrigued.
He nodded and then laughed. “That’s where my mother met Adam, my step father. He was...is a doctor. Then he was young and idealistic, believing he could change things on the rez if he gave us some health care, vaccinated the children.”
“Go on, this is fascinating.”
He shrugged. “Didn’t seem so at the time. Anyway, my mother took me to be vaccinated. I can tell you he scared the hell out of me.”
She laughed at his pained expression. “Why?”
“He was huge, six foot four, and I was small. Not to mention his blond hair and pale skin, and when he opened his medical bag and removed the needle...” Joshua shuddered in memory.
“What did you do?” She leaned her elbows on the piano, bracing her head with chin on hand.