Ravensong

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Ravensong Page 7

by ML Hamilton


  “I ran like hell. He was mortified and took after me with my mother on his heels.” Joshua paused and laughed again. “I guess they fell in love trying to track me down. It didn’t take long before he asked her to marry him. He’d been married before, but the wife died. Left a small boy and girl behind. Well, my mother had no objection to taking on other kids, especially not to getting off the rez. So we left.”

  “Do you like your step father?”

  Joshua considered her question a moment in silence. “Truth?”

  She nodded.

  “He’s the man I consider to be my father. He was always good to me. Took in a half-wild kid and tried to raise him the right way.” His eyes clouded over and he lowered his head. “And when I disappointed him and nearly killed my mother with worry, he never turned his back on me.”

  She swallowed at the obvious pain in his voice.

  “When I woke from a drug induced coma at the hospital...” He stopped for a moment, shaking his head. “Hell, I was so scared. They had me strapped to the bed so I wouldn’t hurt myself or anyone else. Adam was there and I remember him talking softly to me for hours. I’ll never be able to repay him for that. It meant more to me than anything else, but I just disappointed him again as repayment.”

  When he shut his eyes, Elena couldn’t help herself. She dropped on the bench beside him.

  “He must think of you as his son, Joshua, or else he wouldn’t have been there.”

  Joshua nodded, but didn’t say anything. After a long moment, he lifted his head and looked at her.

  “I’m sorry, don’t know why I spilled all of that.”

  “Maybe because you needed to.”

  He reached out and touched her cheek with the back of his hand. “There’s something about you, Elena Harris, that plays hell with the wall I’ve built around myself.”

  “Seems like you’ve been rearranging some things in my head I thought I had figured out too.”

  He slid his fingers down to her chin and lifted her face. “Like what?”

  She twirled her engagement ring around her finger. “I’m wondering why I’m engaged to a man I really don’t like very much.”

  He sat back and stared at her. “Truth?”

  She nodded. “I had it all figured out, neat as you please, until you came and started throwing logic in my face.”

  He chuckled. “Well?” He looked at the sheet music on the piano and fingered it. “What got us on this topic?”

  “I said I didn’t know you played.”

  “Oh, yeah, the cultured thing, I remember. Anyway, once I started school and learned how to fit in with all the other good little white kids, my mother decided I needed to learn how to play the piano. So I did.”

  “From the sounds of it, you didn’t just learn to play, you’re a regular maestro.”

  “Music’s always come easy.”

  “I’d heard you played the guitar.”

  “Yes.”

  “What else?”

  “Bass, drums, harmonica if I want.”

  “Hell, Joshua Ravensong, is there anything you can’t play?”

  “Plenty, but thanks for the compliment.”

  “You play almost every instrument in a band, sing like an angel, write lyrics and music, act...not to mention your way with women...”

  “Angel, no one’s ever accused me of that before.”

  “What?”

  “You said I sing like an angel.”

  She blushed and dropped her eyes. “Did I?”

  He laughed at her embarrassment. “You did.”

  She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. “Well, it’s late. I’d better go.”

  He looked toward the clock on the wall. “Wow, you ain’t kiddin’.” Then his gaze dropped to her again. “Listen, Elena. I know we started off kinda rough, but I do appreciate you listening to me ramble on about my sorry life.”

  “I like to listen to you. That’s what friends do.”

  He seemed surprised for a moment, then quickly blustered through it. “Yeah, of course. Anyway, friend, let me walk you to your car, seeing how late it is and all.”

  “Oh, I forgot, the ever chivalrous Joshua Ravensong.”

  He laughed again, a deep rumbling that thrilled Elena. “If that’s what you think, hell, I’ll keep up the pretense,” he said.

  She nodded at the piano. “Don’t let me keep you from this. It isn’t far from the elevator to my car, besides the security booth is right there. I don’t want to disrupt the genius.”

  “Are you sure?” His fingers touched the keys again and she knew he hadn’t finished creating.

  “Absolutely, but I appreciate the offer.”

  He shrugged. “It’ll always be there.”

  She smiled and rose to her feet. As she walked toward the door, he immediately picked up the previous strain of music. She halted in the doorway and glanced back. A wistful ache pulsed inside of her.

  Shoving the door open, she stepped out.

  “He’s not the only one who can play, you know?” came a voice.

  Elena gasped and glanced up. A man with lanky blond hair stood before her. He wore a t-shirt and jeans with holes at the knees. She didn’t recognize him. “I’m sorry. You startled me.”

  “I’m Alec, one of the roadies.”

  “Hi, Alec,” she said, forcing a smile. Her heart was pounding. “I’m Elena.”

  “I know who you are. I know everyone here.”

  Elena’s smile grew brittle. “Well, nice to meet you,” she said, walking past him for the elevator.

  “If you want to hear me play sometime, I’d be happy to show you.”

  “Thanks,” said Elena. She pushed the button on the elevator and clutched her purse closer.

  “Everyone thinks he’s so great, but I can play that well too.”

  “I’m sure you can,” she said, glancing over her shoulder. She didn’t like that he’d come up behind her like this. She pressed the elevator button again.

  “It’s his looks, you know? That’s why he’s famous. He isn’t that talented.”

  She nodded. “Okay.” The elevator opened and she stepped quickly inside. “Again, nice to meet you, Alec.”

  “Yeah.” He put a hand on the door and stopped it from closing. “Not that I don’t think he’s a good guy, but he’s not a god.”

  She shook her head. “I didn’t think he was.”

  “Okay, well, good night, Elena.”

  “Good night, Alec,” she said stiffly as he released the door. When it finally closed and she felt the elevator descend, she released her held breath. Brushing her fingers over her lips, she was surprised she was shaking so.

  * * *

  Joshua bounded down the hall, feeling alive and full of energy. He peeked in at Elena’s secretary and gave her a smile that could send the most hard core woman swooning. She returned his smile and batted her lashes provocatively. As he stepped through the doorway, his eyes went to the inner door. He couldn’t believe how much he wanted to see her. He was behaving just like a boy with his first crush. There were many years and many women between that time and now, Joshua reminded himself.

  But something about last night, talking with Elena, telling her more personal things than he’d ever told anyone made him feel anxious, excited, and a little vulnerable. He’d had a difficult time sleeping last night and even so, he’d dreamed of Elena again.

  “Hiya, Simone,” he said, flashing her another smile.

  Her eyes took in his form as she leaned back in her chair. “Hiya, darlin’, how you been?”

  He glanced at her briefly. “Fine, Elena in.”

  Deliberately Simone leaned forward, offering him a view of her ample cleavage. “What can I do for you?” she asked suggestively.

  Again his eyes met hers. “Is Elena in her office?”

  “She’s hanging pictures or something,” she said in irritation. “Been banging on the walls all morning.”

  “Thanks,” said Joshua, crossing a
round her desk and grabbing the knob to the inner office.

  He thrust it open, but didn’t see Elena immediately. As he stepped through, he caught his breath. She was standing on the top rung of a ladder, her weight balanced precariously as she tried to hook a picture frame onto the nail she’d pounded into the wall.

  Damn, she was so tiny, he thought, surveying her difficulty in reaching the nail even though she’d scaled the entire ladder. He couldn’t help but notice the way her slacks fit her feminine curves.

  “Be careful,” he said, moving to the bottom of the ladder and holding it steady as she began to back down.

  “I didn’t hear the door open.”

  He reached up and put a hand on her waist, guiding her down. “You could have fallen.”

  As if his words gave fuel to the situation, the ladder tilted on the uneven carpet and she nearly lost her footing. His hands closed around her waist and he lifted her down. For a long moment they simply stared at one another.

  “Lord, well, that didn’t help anything,” she said, but she didn’t pull away.

  “Sorry,” he answered, flashing her his smile.

  “You weren’t at the morning meeting.”

  He shook his head, his eyes lowering to her mouth.

  “Julian was pissed.”

  “When isn’t he?” he asked with a wry lift of his brows.

  “You don’t really care, do you?”

  “No.”

  She drew a ragged breath, but she still stood in the circle of his arms.

  “Here we are again,” he said.

  “Here we are again.” Then she looked at him, holding him away with both hands. “Just what are we going to do about this?”

  A light came into his eyes. “I have a wild suggestion.”

  “Oh no,” she answered, “I know your suggestion. It won’t work. Technically I’m still engaged to John and...”

  “And?”

  “What would Julian do if he found out what we’re doing right now?”

  Joshua shook his head in annoyance. “To hell with Julian.”

  “You say that because he wouldn’t dare fire you, but think, Joshua, he’d fire me just to punish you and I need this job, I want this job.”

  He drew a deep breath, looking into her eyes. “I guess you’re right.”

  “You know I’m right, so somehow we’ve got to stay away from each other. At least until I’m rich enough to quit.”

  His brows raised. “I could...”

  “Don’t even say it,” she answered, pushing him away.

  He took a step back. “Elena, we’d be good together.”

  “Joshua, please don’t.” She moved forward and took his hand. “Think of it this way. You only want what you can’t have. Once I gave in to you, all this would go away.”

  “Why don’t we try?” he said, pulling her closer.

  She laughed and pushed him away. “No. Now you should go. Somehow we’ve got to stay away from each other. Do you really want to risk our friendship for a tumble?”

  He narrowed his eyes on her. “I want you. That’s all I know, that’s all I’ve thought of since you started working here.”

  “If it helps, I’m very tempted right now, but I’d rather have you for a friend than a one time lover. Our friendship could last forever. Just think, Joshua, how long do you really think we’d make it as lovers?”

  He frowned. “I don’t know, you won’t give me a chance.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, taking his arm and pushing him toward the door. “I really am.”

  He shrugged and closed his hand over the knob. “If you change your mind, you know where I’ll be,” he said. “Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye,” she answered.

  * * *

  Joshua paced back and forth in his office, accomplishing nothing. He stopped and looked out the window at the bridge. Hell, how many hours had he spent doing just this since Elena came to Avalanche? She was ruining his usual stoic concentration. He’d never been this distracted by a woman before, what was so different now?

  He jumped at the knock on his door. Alice peeked in at him. “There a hole in that carpet yet?”

  He frowned at her. “You’d better have a good reason for interrupting my exercise.”

  She moved into the office, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s got you out of your usual sunny disposition?”

  “Your constant interruptions. Don’t you have any work to do?” He threw himself down in his chair and leaned his elbows on the desk.

  “I could ask you the same thing. They’ve all been bitchin’ at me all day, wondering if you ever intend to rehearse for the tour.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  “Because I was afraid to.”

  Joshua rolled his eyes. “Give me a break. You yap at me every chance you get.”

  Alice laughed. “She’s really got her hooks in you, doesn’t she?”

  Joshua frowned again. “What?”

  Alice leaned forward, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Elena Harris. Don’t give me that innocent ‘what’ shit, Chief? I may be married, but I know a man who’s mooning when I see one.”

  Joshua rolled his head back and groaned. “Well, you got me, Alice. Should’a known I couldn’t hide anything from you. How’d you get so damn clever?”

  Alice pursed her lips. “Deny...deny...deny...”

  Joshua laughed and rose to his feet. “Your woman’s intuition is for the shits. Believe me, I’ve never given a woman a second thought beyond the time I’ve climbed out of her bed.”

  “Oh, you’re one hard cookie, aren’t you, Chief? Never gonna be a woman who can get under your thick skin.”

  “Not if I can help it.” He crossed around the desk and leaned down close to her face. “See if you can’t earn your keep, eh?”

  “Sure nuff, Boss,” she said with a wave as he left the office.

  * * *

  Joshua entered the auditorium reluctantly. The rest of the band members were gathered, not to mention Julian and David. He grimaced, then felt a momentary stab of worry. He was usually the one pushing to practice. He loved every minute of it, singing the songs, drilling the rest of them to get it just right. He had an ear for how it should sound live and he wouldn’t stop until he’d achieved exactly what he’d expected, but now he wished he were anywhere else.

  Before he could escape, Ralph saw him. “Hiya, Josh, imagine seeing you. We’ve just been wondering if you’re still part of the band.”

  Joshua forced a smile at him, but Julian quickly dashed it. “We could always decide otherwise, if the rest of you wouldn’t be so damn afraid to try something on your own.”

  “Be my guest,” said Joshua, feeding his surly mood.

  “Nooo, hold on, Josh,” said Elliot, moving to intercept his friend. “Julian, back off, all right?” Elliot hooked Joshua around the shoulders and pulled him back into the room. “Come on, Josh, we need ya. Can’t seem to get even one set down right.”

  Joshua moved into place. Both Robert and Elliot exchanged worried glances. Joshua might ignore the morning meetings and he might skirt interviews, but he never failed to show up for rehearsals or concerts. This wasn’t a good sign.

  Still it took all of half a song before the old Joshua Ravensong came out. The perfectionist in him just couldn’t continue wallowing in his own problems when the music called him. Soon the rest of the band members were smiling at each other knowingly as he bounced from one instrument to another, pulling the hanging threads together into a masterpiece.

  Elena watched from the back of the auditorium, amazed by his energy and brilliance. Parts of songs that sounded a little off to her became polished and perfected with Joshua’s attention. Nothing escaped his notice. As the hours wore on, the band members would get irritated by his constant interruptions and repetitions, but in the end, they had to admit he’d been right to change the way the music flowed.

  David moved back, taking a seat on the bleachers beside her. �
��You’re seeing genius in action.”

  “Seems that way.”

  He laughed. “Julian hates seeing Joshua’s brilliance, but he just can’t make himself quit watching. It’s like seeing a meteor shower or watching lightning flash in the sky.”

  Elena looked at the band manager. “You really think a lot of him, don’t you?”

  David nodded. “I’ve worked with a lot of musicians, but never one like Joshua. If you’re damn lucky, you get to see this genius once in a lifetime. You ought to hear him play the piano.”

  “I have,” she said, remembering the other night.

  “Take your breath away?”

  Elena didn’t hesitate. “Like I’d died and was standing at the gates of heaven.”

  For a moment David looked at her closely, then his eyes lowered to the engagement ring on her finger. “He puts up one hell of a front, but there’s a lot on the inside.” He leaned back and folded his hands over his stomach. “I’ll never forget when he first came here. His older brother sent us a tape without his permission. ‘Course we all knew who Ravensong was, we’d heard about his drug overdose and hospitalization, and despite his talent, we wanted no part of him. But when we heard just one song off that tape, we knew we had to have him in the band.”

  “At the time we were just small timers, headlining for other small timers, but Joshua catapulted us to the top with that first album. He was surly as hell, wouldn’t talk to anyone, except Elliot. Somehow Elliot got on his good side nearly from the get go, but the rest of us, shit, for a while I didn’t think he remembered how to talk. He’d just grunt at me and look away.”

  Elena smiled.

  David shook his head in memory. “Until we went into the recording studio the first time. Joshua threw such a fit about how we were recording and over dubbing, I thought they’d throw us out. He kept arguing that we had to sound like we would live or we’d be selling a false product - exactly what he said, false product. We tried to explain how the business worked, but he flat out refused to do the album unless we followed his instructions. Still don’t know why I agreed, but it turned out to be the best gamble I ever took.”

  “How long before he warmed up?”

  “It was a while, but with clowns like Elliot and Ralph, and good, decent guys like Michael and Robert, he didn’t stand much chance. Even though he’s been with us for eight years, I still don’t know him very well, but I sure as hell respect him.”

 

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