by ML Hamilton
“Sounds like you’ve got a good housekeeper.”
Joshua nodded. “Martha takes care of me like a mother. She even makes dinner and leaves it in the fridge for me.”
Elena smiled at his boyish charm. Sometimes he could be quite charming, almost vulnerable. She liked those glimpses into the real Joshua Ravensong - the man not the myth. Glancing around again, she was surprised at how comfortable she felt, when she should be feeling anything but comfortable.
“Would you like some wine?” he said, motioning to the wall behind the dining room.
“No.” She shook her head. “I had enough to drink tonight. Maybe some water?”
“I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home.”
Elena sat down on the rug, looking out through the bay windows at the ocean. She could see Wolf frolicking in the surf. With the fire beside her, it made a very comfortable sight. Joshua returned and handed her a glass. She took a sip, watching him settle onto the rug before her.
She placed the glass on the fireplace and drew a deep breath. The firelight danced in his handsome face, softening the hard angles. She expected him to reach for her, but he just regarded her with his steady dark eyes. At that moment, Elena knew he wouldn’t force the issue. If she just wanted to talk, he would allow it.
Impulsively she lifted her hands to the buttons on his shirt. He simply watched her unhook them, then shrugged his shoulders as she pushed the shirt down his back. Slowly Elena traced each defined muscle in his chest and stomach with her fingertips, her breath coming quicker. God, he was so handsome.
“Would you be offended if I told you you were the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen?”
He smiled, his eyes dancing. “Offended?” He stretched out on his side and patted the spot next to him.
She fought the momentary wave of fear. He narrowed his gaze on her, but didn’t say anything. After a moment, she lay down beside him. He ran a hand through her hair and traced the side of her face, then he leaned forward and gently placed his mouth on hers.
His kiss wasn’t demanding, but he knew how to draw a sigh of pleasure from her. She found herself sinking her own fingers into his hair and pulling him closer.
Then he shifted. Fear crowded out the pleasure of his weight on her and she gasped.
He stopped moving immediately, bracing himself on his elbow. “It’s all right, sweetheart,” he said softly in her ear. “Relax.”
She began trembling.
“Elena, honey, it’s all right, I’m sorry.”
She couldn’t do this. Her heart was hammering. Oh God, what was she doing? Memories crowded in on her, terrifying her even more.
“Elena,” he said again, his voice amazingly calm. “Honey, relax.”
She centered on his voice, his breath warm in her ear. She turned her head and buried her face in his throat. Sliding her hands down, she wrapped them around his back and clung to him. She felt his hand in her hair, stroking the back of it, and she realized he was croning something under his breath.
The smell of him, the warmth of him calmed her. Gradually her death grip on him eased and she leaned back so she could see his face.
He wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, a tear she didn’t remember shedding. “Elena, who hurt you?”
She blinked at him in shock. “What?”
“Someone hurt you. I want to know who.”
She turned to the fire, brushing quickly at the stray hair on her face. “I don’t know what...”
“Yes you do. Talk to me, baby. Someone hurt you very badly.”
She looked at him again. “I just got confused for a moment...”
“About what?”
“About what we were doing, about...”
“Making love?”
“Having sex,” she amended brutally. “I’ve never had a one night stand before.”
He waved away her words. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. Talk to me, baby.”
A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek. Joshua wiped it away again.
“Two years ago,” she began slowly, “I was on a date with a man, our second. He’d taken me to a very nice restaurant, then expected more than I was willing to give. I asked him to take me home and I was surprised when he agreed.” More tears coursed a path down her face. “God, I was such a fool.”
He lifted a hand to wipe away her tears, then paused, his eyes narrowing. “He...”
“He raped me,” she said emotionlessly, but the tears were running freely down her face now. “Twice. He followed me to my door and pushed me inside, then threw me on the floor.”
“In the dark,” said Joshua, looking away.
Elena shuddered in memory and watched Joshua carefully.
Joshua looked back at her, anguish evident in his face. Without speaking he sat up and pulled her into his lap, tucked her head under his chin. As he began stroking her hair, Elena melted into him.
“Did you call the police?”
Elena nodded against him. “They said I didn’t have a case since I showered afterward and they couldn’t get any evidence. His word against mine.”
Joshua shut his eyes, hugging her tighter against him. “Elena, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that bastard ever touched you. I’d like to kill him for it. And I’m sorry this country is such a friggin’ mess that a bastard like that can get away with hurting women.”
Elena leaned away from him. She studied his face in the flicker of the firelight and she knew he’d never ask her to do anything she didn’t want to do.
Sliding her arms around his neck, she shifted on his lap and brought her lips close to his. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she whispered just before kissing him.
This time when he laid her back on the rug, she pulled him down with her.
* * *
Elena woke as the cold air struck her. She turned and reached for Joshua, but he was gone. The fire had died down to a few embers. Then the chill air from the open sliding glass door struck her again and she looked over her shoulder to see Joshua step back inside, followed by his huge black dog. He shut the sliding glass door and locked it.
Elena’s eyes traveled the length of his body. Even though he’d gone outside, he hadn’t put any clothes back on. He was so handsome, all taut, defined muscles, broad shoulders, narrow hips, and so very essentially male. He wasn’t overly tall, but what he lacked in height he made up for with his handsome face.
He turned and regarded her a moment as she watched him, then he crossed the distance between them and picked her up in his arms. The blanket dropped to the ground as he rose to his feet and Elena tucked her head in against his shoulder, feeling impossibly secure. She didn’t care where he was taking her as long as she could snuggle into his strong body. His flesh was cold against hers and smelled of the ocean and night, and something else very primitively male.
He moved through the hallway, past the entryway, and to the stairs rising to the second floor. He ascended with Wolf on his heels and strode down the upper hallway to a door at the end. Pushing the door open with his right shoulder, he carried her to a large bed and laid her on it. Then he caught the dog by the collar and ushered him outside.
Elena rolled to her side, rubbing her cheek on the bedspread. It smelled of him. She drew a deep breath and tried to peer about the room, but it was too dark to see much of anything beyond the bed.
Then he was back and he lay down beside her, reaching for her immediately. What followed was a long session of lovemaking. It staggered Elena in its intensity. Then they lay, intertwined for a very long time, trying to still the panic such intensity raised in both of them.
Once their heartbeats and breathing stilled, Joshua pulled Elena tightly into his arms, stroking his hands down the back of her hair. Elena was paralyzed with terror. As she lay wrapped so securely in his arms, she knew she was beginning to trust him and nothing could be more dangerous to her than to trust Joshua Ravensong.
That fact came to her with a glarin
g certainty - she had to get away from Joshua. She must never allow them to have another night like this or she’d be lost.
Still, it was very late, her clothing was scattered downstairs, and she had no car. There wasn’t any rush to leave, she said convincingly to herself, and snuggled closer into the protective warmth of his arms.
* * *
The warm play of the sun across her face woke Elena. She opened her eyes and looked around. Joshua was gone.
The room was large with a bathroom and walk-in closet occupying one entire wall. The bed took up a second, and a third wall was floor to ceiling windows, which Joshua had opened on his way out. The cool ocean air blew through with the tang of salt water. Elena smiled remembering the same scent from her childhood.
She rolled to her back and stretched, studying the dream catcher that hung over his bed. Sitting up she looked about the room. It had a very Native American feel to it from the bright pattern of the bed spread to the artifacts on the walls and dresser. She liked it, even though it was more masculine than she was used to.
Pushing back the covers, she rose to her feet. She stretched again, lifting her arms over her head, then rolling her shoulders to chase the last of sleep away.
She picked up his discarded shirt and slipped into it, hugging her arms around her body, enjoying the scent of him. God, what was she going to do now? They couldn’t possibly have another night like last night - Joshua probably wouldn’t want it anyway, but still it felt good to wake up feeling secure and content for a change.
She stood before the impressive bank of windows and allowed the sun to bathe her. The ocean was pounding away, the sight strangely alluring, as was everything about Joshua Ravensong.
Walking to the door, she opened it and stepped out into the hall. She listened for any movement downstairs and heard nothing. Curiosity prompted her to move to the other rooms on the floor. The one closest to Joshua’s room was a child’s room with stuffed bears and pretty dolls lined up on a Cinderella bedspread.
She ran her fingers over the bedspread, marveling at this tender side of Joshua. How could his ex-wife keep him from his daughter when she obviously meant everything to him? Elena wondered if anyone else occupied such an important spot in his heart or if anyone ever could.
She shut the door and moved to the next room. It was a guest room as masculinely decorated as his own bedroom. She shut the door and headed for the stairs, descending as quickly as she could. She found her clothes folded neatly on the fireplace bricks and slipped into them, only discarding Joshua’s shirt when she was fully dressed.
The sliding glass door was open and she wandered to it, wondering where Joshua had got to. She stepped out on the balcony and breathed deeply of the ocean air. God, she could get used to waking up here.
Then her eyes spotted Joshua and her entire predicament came home with a staggering blow. He was rough housing with his dog on the beach. He looked up at her and waved. She waved back, pulling her hand in against her breast.
He ran up the beach toward the house, trailed by Wolf. As he ascended the stairs, she turned, swallowing at the lump of anxiety in her throat. Wolf greeted her first, covering her with wet, sandy kisses. She ruffled his fur and then looked up at Joshua.
He’d stopped coming toward her, a look of concern on his face. She quickly took in his sweat pants and tank top, which accentuated every taut play of muscle. He wore his hair tied back to keep it out of his eyes and sweatbands on each wrist. His chest was rising quickly and sweat shown on the bare flesh of his chest and his shirt. He was gorgeous.
“Been running?” she asked, surprised by the catch in her voice.
He nodded, still studying her intently.
She pushed Wolf aside and held out her hand to him. “Joshua, we need to talk.”
He reluctantly accepted her hand and allowed her to pull him toward the two chairs at the far end of the balcony. They sat down, facing each other, and Wolf pushed between them for attention.
“Lay down,” said Joshua firmly and the huge dog dropped. Then Joshua returned his attention to Elena. “Why do you look like you’ve lost your best friend?”
Elena frowned. “I hope I haven’t,” she said. “I was hoping you’d take me home now.”
“Now? But I thought you’d spend the weekend here with me...”
She looked up in surprise. She’d expected him to say many things, but that just wasn’t one of them. “The weekend?” Her voice caught again. “Don’t you think that would make things a little difficult?”
He shook his head. “Difficult? I’m not following.”
“Joshua.” She reached out and took his hand between hers. “Last night was wonderful, but it can’t happen again.”
He rose swiftly, pulling his hand away, and walked to the rail, leaning against it. “After what happened last night, you’re going through with this asinine marriage?”
She shifted toward him. “No.” She paused, shaking her head. “Actually, I really don’t know. I just know I want my job and if Julian knew what happened last night...”
“To hell with Julian,” he said, turning back to her. He shook his head. “Didn’t last night mean a damn thing to you? How can you bring up Julian after what we shared?”
She leaned back in surprise. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you the one who told me you prefer one night stands, that you weren’t a hold me ‘til morning kind of guy?”
Joshua exhaled in frustration. “And I told you it had never been like that with anyone else, Elena. Did you think I was lying? Hell, I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a liar.”
“No, I thought you were caught up in the heat of the moment.” She rose to her feet and moved close to him. “Come on, Joshua, you know this job is important to me. I want to earn enough money to take time off and travel. I’ve worked too hard and too long for this opportunity, and I’m not going to blow it.”
“Then we’ll keep what we have private - just between you and me.”
For a moment, she almost relented. The look in his face was so desperate and she felt just as desperate herself, but it was still wrong. No matter what he was saying now, once he had his fill of her, and she didn’t doubt for a moment he would, he’d be off to the next woman like he’d done with every other relationship he’d ever attempted. Except Elena knew she stood to lose a hell of a lot more than a sleeping companion.
“How long do you think that would work? And there’s still the little matter of my engagement. Even if I decide to break it off with John, I’ll have to do it in person, and he won’t be back for another four months.”
Joshua stared at her a moment intently. She met the probe of his eyes, but said nothing. He reached up and pulled the tie off, raking his fingers through his hair.
“Fine,” he said, without looking at her. “Let me get a quick shower and I’ll drive you home.”
Before she could recover from the brutal tone in his voice, he’d stormed into the house. She leaned against the railing to steady herself, her heart pounding. Oh lord, she thought, what have I done? At that moment she wasn’t so sure it was the right thing, but more so, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep her distance like she’d demanded of him.
CHAPTER 7
Joshua stood on the back porch of his mother’s home, looking down over the canyon. His twin half-brothers, Jeffery and Joseph, were stalking each other in the dense underbrush and Joshua smiled at the sound of their childish voices. At ten, they were nearly as tall as he was with their mother’s black hair and Adam’s brown eyes. Joshua sighed, missing his own daughter.
He looked up when Adam leaned his elbows on the rail next to him. “Your mother sent me to find out what’s wrong.”
Joshua turned, placing his back to the rail, and looked through the kitchen window where his mother was making a pretense of washing dishes. “She tell you to tell me that’s what you’re doing?”
“Are you kidding?”
Joshua chuckled, folding his arms over his chest.
“Why does she think something’s wrong?”
Adam shrugged, clasping his big pale hands before him. Joshua had always marveled at his step-father’s hands. They were so large, yet so very gentle. His own father had rather small hands, but they were anything but gentle.
“She’s your mother, need any other explanation?”
“No,” said Joshua, shaking his head.
“So what’s wrong?”
Joshua studied Adam. He and his step-father had an interesting relationship. He’d never tried to take the place of Joshua’s biological father, but he’d done so just the same. If there was one person Joshua felt safe confiding in it was Adam, even more so than his own mother.
Right now he needed to talk with someone. That’s why he’d driven to his mother’s house as soon as he’d dropped Elena off. The thought of spending the weekend alone was unbearable.
Joshua drew a deep breath, crossing his arms over his chest. Again he watched his mother washing dishes. “How did you know she was the one, Adam?”
Adam glanced back over his shoulder, his blunt features softening measurably. “She had this incredible black hair and this feisty personality. Then I tried her cooking and that was that.”
Joshua laughed. “I’m serious.”
“So am I,” said Adam, then he sobered when he caught the urgent expression on his step-son’s face. “I don’t know, Josh. Your mother had this quality about her, like she could take care of the world and I really needed to be taken care of, but it was more than that. I needed to take care of someone myself and there she was, so strong and yet so vulnerable, and you...hell, I looked into those huge eyes and knew I had to have both of you in my life.”
Joshua studied Adam’s face, feeling a swelling of emotion inside of him. Adam had taken in a terrified little boy and loved him like his own. It was a gift Joshua could never repay. The fact that he’d hurt and disappointed Adam time and time again rubbed his conscience raw.
“Why you asking a question like that, Josh?”
Joshua blinked, pulling himself out of his deep thoughts. “Why?” He considered his words before he spoke. “I’m not really good at the relationship game, as you know.”