by ML Hamilton
“The point, boy.”
Joshua glared at his step-father. “Why does everything have to be needles with you?”
Adam laughed and placed a huge hand on Joshua’s shoulder. “Joshua, you don’t have to dance around the issue with me.”
Joshua nodded, his eyes drifting back to his mother. Behind him, the sound of the boys at play only increased the loneliness of his situation.
“Terry hasn’t let me see Tiffany in the last two weeks.”
Adam lifted his brows. “She’s good at that, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, but my hands are tied, Adam. What am I going to do?”
Adam shook his head. “What if your mother and I challenged her for custody?”
“On what grounds?”
“Abandonment. Doesn’t she take off with a different man every weekend?”
“Yeah, but Ethel’s always there.”
Adam sighed. “She’ll back off again, once you’ve paid enough or she gets what she wants out of you.” He looked at his step-son closely. “That isn’t all of it though, is it?”
Joshua glanced at his step-father, pushing nervously at his molars with his tongue. “No.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve met someone.”
Adam merely lifted his eyebrows in interest.
“And she’s making me crazy.”
“How so?”
“She’s engaged...”
He stopped at Adam’s violent exhalation. “Joshua...”
“Wait, hear me out. It gets even better.”
Adam cast him a worried glance.
“She’s engaged to a man old enough to be her father. She doesn’t love him, and not only that, she works for Avalanche under Julian.”
“And you are attracted to her. She feels the same?”
Joshua considered his words carefully. “More than that. She spent the night with me last night.”
Adam threw back his head and shut his eyes. “Lord, Joshua, what a mess.”
“I know, but there’s more.”
“More?” said Adam, spearing his step-son with his eyes.
Joshua turned toward him, dropping his voice. “She was raped two years ago, Adam. That’s why she’s marrying this man, because she’s afraid to take a chance. Can you imagine what she thinks about her attraction for me? Every time she looks at me I can see what she’s thinking. And I keep telling her I’m not the permanent kind.”
“Do you want to be?”
“What?”
Adam gave him the same quizzical stare Joshua had gotten his entire life. “Do you want to be permanent with her?”
Joshua drew a ragged breath. Hell, if he didn’t say it now, it was going to eat away at him on the inside. “I think I love her.”
Adam took a step back in surprise. “Oh God, Joshua.”
“I know. It’s a mess.”
Adam’s hands came down firmly on his step-son’s shoulders. “A mess you don’t need, Josh.”
“I can’t help how I feel, Adam.”
Adam stared at him a moment in silence, then slowly shook his head. “No, I guess not. What are you going to do?”
Joshua looked out over the canyon. “Give her space, take my time. Before I sleep with her again, I’m going to make damn sure she leaves the engagement ring at home.” He drew a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily. “Somehow I’ve got to prove to her she’s different, that nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I’ve got to make her trust me.” Joshua’s eyes bore into those of his step-father. “Last night, Adam, I was so damn scared. It was different than it’s ever been. I lay there for a long time, just holding her, liking the way it felt with her in my arms, in my house.”
“Do you know how long your mother’s been waiting for this to happen?”
Joshua’s upper lip twitched.
“We should have known it’d be complicated.”
“Have I ever done anything the easy way?”
“No, son, you haven’t, but your mother and I are behind you, and when you need us, we’ll be there.”
A smile touched Joshua’s mouth. Before he could thank his step-father, his step-sister Jennifer burst out of the house, throwing herself in his arms. The impact of her carried him back into the railing, but he hugged her just as enthusiastically.
She bussed a few kisses along his jaw. “I can’t believe you’re here,” she said happily.
He held her away and smiled at her. “Damn it, Jennifer, you just get prettier every day.”
She snorted, but she was obviously pleased. “You just stay away too long.” She grabbed his hand and started dragging him toward the house. “James and Margaret are on the way. Come in and talk to me before they get here and we have no time.”
Joshua allowed himself to be dragged toward the house by his step-sister, shrugging his shoulders at Adam as they moved past. Adam watched them go, feeling a protective worry gnawing at him. Damn it all, he and Mary had been hoping Joshua would take a more than passing interest in a woman, but why did it have to be so complicated? Joshua didn’t need anything to upset the careful balance he’d constructed for himself. Especially not with everything so messed up with Terry and his daughter.
His eyes shifted to his wife where she was watching him worriedly. He drew a deep breath. He knew once he entered the house, she’d want to know what was wrong with her son. Adam hated giving her more worry. Not a day went by that she didn’t fret about Joshua. He laughed silently. Not a day went by that he didn’t worry about his step-son too.
* * *
Elena halted outside of Joshua’s office despite herself. She had caught his voice and knew she couldn’t pass by without listening for just a moment. The weekend had been hell. She’d fought with herself all Saturday and Saturday night, not allowing herself to call him. But Sunday she’d given up the fight. Realizing it might cost her her job, she’d called; however, he wasn’t home.
Now Elena couldn’t help but wonder where he’d been. Had he gone out with another woman that quickly? The thought of him with someone else infuriated her. She wished desperately she’d never called that Sunday. She’d told herself she’d be cold with him during the meeting this morning, but he’d never shown up. After the meeting was over, she’d decided she’d never speak to him again. And then she’d heard his voice.
No amount of solid reasoning could make her walk past with her nose in the air like she wanted to. She loved his voice. It was deep and intense. She liked the way it rumbled from way down in his chest. More than that, she wanted to hear what he was saying.
“Howdy Chief, how was your weekend?” came Alice’s greeting.
Elena glanced at her watch. Ten o’clock, Monday morning -- he was two hours late.
“Busy.”
“What did you wind up doing?”
A pause. “Went down to my mother’s in So. Cal.”
Elena’s heart skipped a beat. She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself, praying he was telling the truth and then chiding herself for the misguided interest in his social life.
“The whole family there?”
“Ever last one,” he said in a cowboy accent. Elena smiled to herself.
“How’s the twins? Hell, how old are they now?”
“Ten, goin’ on twenty.”
“And your sister, what’s her name?”
“Jennifer.”
“Was she there?”
“Yeah, and James and his wife.”
“How old is Jennifer now?”
Another short pause. “Twenty-one. I’ll be damned. I still think of her as a scrawny kid.”
“So Susan’s sixteen or so. Driving yet?”
“No, Susan’s fifteen.”
“Your mama sure raised a passel of kids.”
Joshua’s laughter. Elena shut her eyes, wishing this personal conversation was her right. She didn’t even know who the people were they were talking about, but despite herself, she longed to, especially after the beautiful night they’d shared.
&
nbsp; “Yeah, she always thought the more the merrier.”
“How old was she when she had her first?”
“Eighteen and her first was me.”
“She ever marry your daddy?”
A more tense pause, then Joshua sighed heavily. “No, she was too smart for that, thank God. My daddy’s a regular sonuvabitch. ‘Bout the only good thing you can say about him is he’s a handsome bastard.”
“So that’s where you get it from?”
Elena tensed waiting for Joshua’s response to the baited question. It came with a low chuckle. “You best be talking about my looks, lady, if you want a job.”
Elena could almost hear the batting of Alice’s eyelashes. “What else would I be talking about, Chief?” she said innocently.
The playful banter was more than Elena could take. Squaring her shoulders, she hurried down the hallway, refusing to glance inside his office. She never stopped for a moment until she was safely behind the inner door of her own office and had it locked.
* * *
Elena avoided Joshua, but it wasn’t easy. For some perverse reason, he decided to show up for every morning meeting, and he was always on time. Just when she was sure he no longer had an effect on her, she would look up at his entrance and catch her breath, marveling again at his appearance.
If a man had learned how to enter a room for the maximum effect, it was Joshua Ravensong. He hadn’t been voted sexiest man of the year three years in a row for nothing.
Once their hands had brushed when they’d both reached for the same coffee cup. Elena had pulled back, probably a bit too dramatically, but she couldn’t hide the trembling in her fingers when he was near. Then she’d made the mistake of looking up into his intense black eyes. She almost quit her job then.
So, she immersed herself in her work. It wasn’t hard to do. This close to the tour there were hundreds of things that needed her attention -- the biggest of which was finding an opening band to tour with Avalanche.
Julian had assigned her this latest chore and had given her a list of prospective bands. Elena had been going to nightclubs every night for the past two weeks. She dragged Kate with her, but even Kate was beginning to whine about it. Not a single one of the bands had been any good so far.
Elena knew without a doubt that Julian had set her up once again. He kept assigning her tasks that were nearly impossible to complete, hoping she would fail. Keeping her job had taken on a much more intense quality. She couldn’t lose it now because that would mean Julian would win.
She reached across her desk and popped open the compact disc machine, jerking out the latest CD and tossing it directly into the garbage can. She braced her elbows on the desk and rubbed her temples with her fingertips, closing her eyes for a moment. Tears threatened. This was one test Julian was probably going to win. How was she going to pick the band to open for Avalanche? Why weren’t the band members doing it?
Julian had made that point very clear when she’d asked to run a few bands past them. The band members were too busy rehearsing now and couldn’t be bothered. The way Joshua pushed them to get the songs exactly right, she knew this wasn’t a lie. There was no one to help her. No one.
She fumbled open a bottle of aspirin and downed two with a sip of cold tea. She grimaced and placed another CD in the machine, punching the play button. A pounding, discordant sound issued forth, only increasing Elena’s headache. She closed her eyes once more and went back to rubbing her temples. There was no way she was going to beat this one. No way.
She jumped and looked up when the disharmonious music suddenly went off. Joshua was standing before her desk, staring at her with raised brows. He lifted his mouth in his crooked smile and tossed a zip drive and a photo onto the desk blotter in front of her.
“They play tonight at the Bandstand on Market at nine.”
She held his eyes as she reached for the photo. She glanced at the cover. Rage. There were four guys in leather and grimaces posing on it. She frowned. Was this another sick joke?
His eyes danced with mischief. “Just try it. You’ve tried everything else.” He cocked his head and peered into her overflowing garbage can. “And I do mean everything.”
She drew a deep breath and tightened her hold on the photo. He flashed another closed mouth smile, then turning on his heel, he headed for the door.
Elena absently licked her lips as her eyes followed the line of his behind in his tight-fitting jeans. For some reason, the memory of him stark naked intruded on her thoughts at that moment. She shook her head and grabbed the zip drive, inserting it into her computer.
She might as well try this. She had tried everything else.
* * *
“What’s the name of this band again, Ellie?” whined Kate as she sipped at her frothy pink drink, named for some unmentionable sex act.
Elena chewed on her inner lip and shifted uneasily in her chair. “Rage,” she said absently, toying with the top of her mineral water.
Kate slumped in her chair and sucked on her straw. “What kind of music do they play again?”
Elena tapped her toes nervously on the sticky floor. “A mix between blues and rock. You’ll love them.” I just hope I will. They’d sounded wonderful on her computer, but that didn’t mean they would sound anything remotely similar live. Not very many bands worked for the natural sound Joshua demanded Avalanche attain.
A grudging respect was beginning to bloom inside Elena for Joshua’s genius. Oh, she wasn’t about to go worshiping it the way David and the guys did, but she couldn’t help but admit he knew his music. He knew other more disturbing things, but she just wasn’t thinking about that right now.
Until the rogue in question sauntered into the club.
Kate bolted upright in her chair and patted frantically at her hair. Elena closed her eyes briefly and tried to disappear inside her leather jacket. Oh shit, speak of the devil himself!
He’d already drawn a crowd. They hovered around him, inhibiting his entrance and laughing at everything he said. Elena could see the flash of his white teeth as he entertained them with his wit and charm. She hated him, she was sure. Especially because he looked damn gorgeous in his trade-mark jeans, white collared shirt, boots and black leather jacket. His hair was braided down the middle as usual and the earrings in his ear glittered in the faint light overhead.
His eyes met hers over the top of his adoring fans. Elena looked away. No use encouraging him. There was nothing between them. She didn’t need to spend the night with him sitting anywhere in her immediate vicinity.
“Just keep breathing naturally,” said Kate.
Elena turned to look at her friend. “What?”
“Here he comes.”
Elena glanced up to see him moving through the crowd. At a glare from his bodyguard, they parted reluctantly as if they hated having to give him up to anyone else. They could have him as far as she was concerned.
“God, he’s gorgeous,” said Kate dreamily.
Elena glared at her friend and took a sip of her mineral water, fixing her eyes on the stage. She hadn’t told Kate about her one night in Joshua Ravensong’s bed and she wasn’t about to. If he so much as breathed a word, she’d make sure he never bedded another woman again.
“Hello, Kate,” he said in a lazy drawl.
Elena caught the shimmer of light in his ebony hair as he bent over Kate’s hand, planting an old fashioned kiss on the back of it sure to send Kate into a coronary. Kate fluttered her other hand at her throat and batted her lashes.
“You are a charmer, Mr. Ravensong, sir,” she said in a Southern accent.
Elena rolled her eyes and sipped at her mineral water. God, Kate was simpering...that was the word, or so Elena thought. She was still thinking about vocabulary when Joshua threw himself gracefully into the chair between them. She quickly forgot it. He smelled delicious -- spicy and oceanic, or something.
“Hiya, Ellie,” he said, wiggling black brows at her.
She stared at him. “Elli
e?” She gave him the glare.
He chuckled and extended his legs under the table, lounging in his chair as if she’d invited him to stay all night. He flashed Kate a conspiratorial glance and shrug, then shifted his focus to the stage. Kate giggled, until she caught the glare. It worked on Kate. She slumped in her chair and sipped at her sex drink.
A waitress quickly appeared at Joshua’s elbow, leaning over him so he could have an unobstructed view of her cleavage. So could Elena at his side.
“What can I get you?” she purred, thrusting her breasts almost in his face.
Elena leaned her elbow on the table and braced her head on her hand. She gave Joshua a pointed look. For the first time, he seemed remotely uncomfortable. He looked up into the waitress’s face and narrowed his eyes.
“A mineral water.”
“Anything else?” said the waitress with an obvious smile.
“I wonder how much those cost,” Elena heard her own voice say as she motioned toward the woman’s nearly exploding bust line
Joshua blinked in astonishment and the woman straightened with an indignant huff. Kate was staring at Elena with her mouth open, her straw poised on her bottom lip. Elena sat up, shrugging her shoulders. She was furious with the world, she realized, and especially with Joshua.
“Come again,” he said, raising his dark brows.
Elena pursed her lips a moment. “Plastic surgery, you know.” She smiled at the waitress. “I was wondering if I should get it done myself and how much it costs.”
The waitress’ eyes got even more enormous. She whirled on a stiletto heel and click-clacked back to the bar. Elena’s gaze shifted from a half-amused Joshua to an astonished Kate.
“I’ve never heard you say anything like that,” said Kate in awe.
Elena turned back to the stage, picking up her mineral water. She tried to appear nonchalant. “Women need to know how they’re subjugating themselves in the name of fashion and men’s perception of beauty.”
“A feminist crusader,” mumbled Joshua, looking downward.
“What?” both Kate and Elena snapped, turning on him.
He glanced up at them sheepishly, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I said it’s getting later,” he answered