“What did you say to him last weekend?” She looks back at me with a curious smile.
“Well, Sawyer and Brianne have started I guess what you can call a romance. She’s spent a few nights in our cabin. Sawyer was trying to keep it a secret being he thought I would get mad he wasn’t with my sister anymore. Last weekend I woke up to a giggling lump of blankets on his bed and I thought it was you and I said some things.”
“What things?”
“Things about being hurt and the way I feel about you.” This is a good way to lead into the conversation I’ve been wanting to have. I want to tell Cassie I love her. I want to start talking about what happens when we leave here and I go to school. “Because the way I feel about you Cassie is…”
“So Sawyer knows we’re not related now.” She sits up, cutting me off.
“Yeah.” I swallow, surprised by her response. This is reminding me of the first time I went to kiss her before we came here. She knows what I was about to say and stopped me.
“Did he freak out? I bet that was really weird for you. And him. And me, next time I see him,” she laughs.
“Cassie, what’s going on?”
“Huh? Nothing’s going on. But Tessa will probably be back any minute now and you should probably go.” She fidgets around the room, suddenly very busy looking for something.
I don’t move from her bed. “How do you feel about me, Cassie?”
She stops. No reply. Her back is toward me. She’s frozen in place.
“Do you have an answer for me?” I press not letting it go.
“Mark, can’t we just enjoy this? Do we have to go there right now?”
“Yeah, we do. Camp’s ending, I’m leaving soon. I want to know where I stand with you before I go. I want to know where we’re at.” I’m up now, out of the bed, walking over to her.
There’s a thump at the door. Then another one. Cassie spins around, her face is alarmed. Frightened brown eyes gesture for me to see who is on the other side of the door. The thumping continues and I step forward opening the door. Tessa and Tucker stumble in breaking apart from a kiss. Tessa blushes and giggles. Tucker’s un-phased and collected.
“Hey man, how’s it going?” Tucker asks coolly.
When I look back at Cassie, she’s relieved. Glad we were interrupted and don’t have to finish our conversation. “Mark was just leaving.”
“You heading back down? I’ll walk with you,” Tucker offers.
“Yeah, I’m leaving.” But before I follow Tucker out the door I walk over and give Cassie a quick kiss then bring my lips down to her ear. “This isn’t over,” I whisper.
It isn’t. One way or another we’re going to talk about this. We’ve both said I love you before. I said it to someone I thought was her. She said it when she was drunk. Time for us to sync up and say it the right way.
Tucker and I leave our girls and walk back down the hill towards the cabins.
“Next weekend I was thinking about asking Tessa to go camping. It’s kind of the tradition around here. A way for everyone to say goodbye before the summer ends. The counselors pack up tents and gear and head out to the woods to rough it even more than we already have all summer. I’m not sure Tessa can handle much more roughing it and I’m not so sure she’ll go if Cassie doesn’t go. I have an extra tent and equipment; you’re welcome to it if you want.”
“Thanks, yeah. I’ll ask Cassie. I think that sounds great. I’m sure she’ll go.” This is good. We can spend the whole night together. A whole night to put it all out there, we can finally talk about me leaving for school and what’s next for us. No interruptions, no running away. “Yeah, we’ll definitely go,” I say confidently.
CHAPTER FIVE
Ashley: I laughed so hard I was crying. And then I laughed again. Then I told my boyfriend and he laughed.
Tucker: Dirty talk?
Ashley: Great, now I’m laughing all over again. How did she not know?!?
Tucker: When did she tell you?
Ashley: I got a call at 6 a.m. the next morning. But it was worth waking up to hear that story.
Tucker: What do you think’s next?
Ashley: You’re on your own now.
Tucker
I got Tessa to spend the night roughing it in a tent outdoors. Only we’re about ten feet from her cabin, not in the woods with everyone else. She refused.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t pee in the woods. I can’t,” she apologizes for the millionth time.
“You know what, this is better. This way I got you all to myself, baby.” I love the excited look she gets when I call her baby. Her eyes go wide and she bites her lip in a sexy way.
She unzips my sleeping bag and crawls up next to me. Our kiss starts off with same eagerness I’m always working to slow down. She is one enthusiastic kisser. Tessa is much more comfortable when my hands ease their way up to touch her. But tonight breathy little sighs are all I’m getting.
“You’re very quiet.” I actually miss the commentary a little bit, but know it’s safer this way.
“I’m making sure not to say anything,” she giggles. “I’m thinking it instead.”
I hold down the growl in the back of my throat. Yes, definitely safer this way. Another zealous kiss and her body pushes into mine. I know the way she is pressed up against me is unintentional. Damn. We’ve reached that time. “Back to your own sleeping bag, baby.” My hands around her waist, I hoist her away.
I can see it all over her face. She feels bad. “Tessa, it’s all good,” I say and wish my raspy voice sounded more compelling. In a few minutes I’m sure my normal tone will return.
“I’ll be right back.” She unzips the tent and climbs through the opening. I see the light from the flashlight she’s carrying bounce up the stairs to her cabin. Do I wait here or go up there after her? I’m not sure how much more I can say to convince her I’m okay with waiting. And I can wait.
She returns to the tent with a little container in her hand. “I have a special snack for us,” she giggles in better spirits. “I asked Cassie to make it.” The tent is lit up with a lantern but she holds a flashlight up over the container. “Go ahead, open it.”
The lid comes off and I’m staring down at two horse cupcakes. “Guess they’re both for me.” I grin and lift a cupcake piled high with frosting from the plastic container. Tessa swipes it from my hand. Her teeth sink into a giant bite.
“Truthfully,” she says with her mouth full. “I love cake. It’s so freaking good. I just tell people I hate cake ’cause it’s so fattening.”
I’m speechless to see pretty little Tessa with a mouth full of cake. Horse cake.
“Tucker.” She stops chewing and licks at the icing. “What you did that day was so special. I asked Cassie if we could bake these for you to make up for the cake I never got to eat with you. Here, take this.” She hands me her cupcake with the big bite missing. “Take it before I eat the whole thing. I don’t want to be like Ashley and gain ten pounds because I fell in…” She stops, catches herself and exhales a puff of air. “Because I fell in - to bad eating habits.”
“Yeah, ‘falling into bad eating habits.’ That’s the worst.” I tease taking a bite of her cupcake. I’m pretty sure I know what she was really going to say. My tongue darts out swiping the icing from my wide smile. Guess I should be the one to say it first.
“Next weekend camp is over. Are you ready for school?” she asks. “I still can’t believe we’re going to the same school.”
“If we weren’t I’m pretty sure I’d be looking to transfer.”
Her skin pinks and I reach over to touch it. The back of my hand rubs softly against her cheek making her smile.
“What were the other rules? You know the ones from the first night” She gives me a quick kiss on the lips then reaches up and wipes some of the frosting I missed off my mouth. “I never even found out.”
“The rules, well, you know the one about everyone kisses someone on the first night,” I say and she nods.
“The next one is, don’t take anything too serious and the last one is, don’t fall in love.”
“Oh.” Her pink turns pinker. “How did you do? Were you able to follow those rules this summer?”
“Well, I never got to kiss someone on the first night. But the other two rules - I think we both know I broke them.”
Her reaction to my wimpy way of telling her I love her doesn’t go so well. No response. The flashlight goes off and so does the lantern. I hear her rustle around with her sleeping bag, zipping it up.
I’m confused. We were eating cupcakes a second ago. I still have it in my hand. What’s going on? I’m admitting I’m in love with her. Isn’t that what she wanted?
“Goodnight,” she whispers in a strained voice. “I’m really tired.”
She didn’t fall in love? Is that what this is? I didn’t see this coming. After some time in the quiet darkness of the tent, I hear sniffles once again. I need to know. “Tessa, are you crying ’cause of what I said? About breaking the rules?”
“I’m not crying,” she says and I know she’s lying. I just don’t know why.
Nothing else is said. She doesn’t love me back. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the chest. I’m not sure what happens next.
Mark
Our tent is the furthest in the woods, away from the others. Most of the tents are spread out to begin with. This night is mostly for saying goodbye to your camp romance, not partying. Luckily I don’t have to say goodbye. This isn’t the end for us. I know it’s only the beginning.
“The end of camp, we survived. Been a crazy summer, I can’t wait for what comes next,” I say, trying to lead the conversation in the right direction.
“I don’t want to think about what comes next.” Cassie loses her smile and brings her knees up to her chest.
“We have to, Cass. You know that. But what comes next is the best part.”
The conversation goes flat when she says nothing in reply. At the rate our conversations are going lately we’ll never accomplish anything. We need to talk. Not in circles like we have been. We need to actually get everything out.
“Cassie, I.” Pause. “I think … you and me.” Stop. “We need.” This is much harder than I thought.
“What do we need?” Cassie squeezes her hands, ringing them like she does when she’s scared.
“Beer,” I say. A few drinks might loosen us up and get us talking. I grab two beers from the stocked cooler I somehow knew we would need and we pull back the tabs.
Until this summer, neither Cassie nor I had been big on drinking. This place just made it so easy.
“I wasn’t going to drink anymore.” Cassie opens up her beer and takes a sip of the exploding contents. “But what the hell. I need to relax and hang out with you while I can.” She clinks her can into mine.
Good, just the notion of drinking and we’re already loosening up. I take advantage of the opportunity.
“We’re going to hang out all the time. I’ll make sure of that. What happened when you had to work at the bakery and needed go in early on the weekends?”
She’s sitting on her blanket, beautiful tanned legs crossed in front of her. The cutest smile flashes across her lips. “You came over and watched movies with me when I got home. We would pretend it was night so I wouldn’t feel like such a loser going to bed at eight o’clock.”
“I’ll do that again. I’ll come home on weekends, we can pull the shades down and watch movies until the sun goes down,” I laugh. “Some weekends when you get a break, you come down to see me. We can pull down the shades.” I raise my eyebrows.
“I come visit you and we pull down the shades and what happens?” A piece of hair hangs in front of her eyes. She clings to her can and takes a wide-eyed sip waiting for my reply.
I lean over scooping the hair away from her face with my finger watching it fall right back. So pretty, so beautiful, I reach up and touch the hair again. My hand slides under her chin guiding her face up, waiting until her eyes to meet mine.
“We pull down the shades and I tell you that you’re beautiful. I tell you that I love you, how much I want to be with you, touch you.”
Cassie closes her eyes, nuzzling her face against my touch.
“Do you love me, Cassie?”
“I do. I love you, Mark,” she whispers brushing her lips up against mine.
I lower my arms, placing my hand on her back to pull her into me. Her tongue grazes my lower lip sending my heart racing. I part her lips meeting her tongue with my own. The can of cold beer she’s holding is pressed up against my neck. I take the can from her hands and place it down away from us. My hands reach for her again, sliding over her shirt, feeling her body through the soft material. Everything feels so right. She slips her hands down to my waist, her fingertips teasing their way into my shorts.
“Cassie,” I say her name louder than intended. I can’t hold back, her touch already has me ready to explode.
She pulls away from my mouth and lowers herself back, inviting me to come down to her. I drop to the ground and pull her body on top of mine. My hands slide up her shirt, pushing her bra up in a wild frenzy. She sits up, legs wrapped around me, throwing back her long hair, and begins undoing the button of my shorts. I watch eagerly in amazement as she then begins unbuttoning her own. “This is my first time,” she says, standing up over me, ready to lower her shorts.
“With me,” I finish her sentence.
“With anyone.” Her zipper lowers.
“What are you saying?”
“I tried telling you nothing happened in the hut, but you wouldn’t listen to me.” Cassie begins to wiggle free from her shorts. “I get to experience my first time with you. When I went to the hut, I couldn’t go through with it.”
I button my shorts and stand up stopping her hands from sliding down. It’s her first time, our first time. “Wait. We shouldn’t do this in a stupid tent surrounded by bugs. I want to be with you the right way. I want it to be special. I want us to remember it.” I kiss her tenderly, but she pushes me away.
“No. No more waiting. I’m ready right now. I want this. I want it tonight, tents, bugs and all. What we do right now. I’ll remember it. It will be special.” She presses into me, wrapping her arms underneath mine gripping onto my shoulders tightly bringing her lips up to mine for a fiery kiss.
My hands find their way back under her shirt. She feels so good. Her little sighs encouraging me to keep caressing her. The heat scorches between us, my mouth on hers kissing her fiercely. She directs my hand to her opened shorts, breathless at my touch. Her shorts slide down and she steps free of them. I take off my shirt tossing it to the side before we lower ourselves back to the ground. My heart thunders through my chest, her hips rise up to meet me.
“You have one?” I know what she’s asking.
“Yes.” Amazingly I do have one. But I’m not ready for that just yet. My hands go down to explore her body some more. I need to make sure she’s ready. Oh shit. Seeing how ready for me she is causes me to shudder, fumbling quickly to prepare myself.
“Mark, please, I’m ready,” she pleads with me.
Once I’m inside of her she cries out and clings to me tightly. I stop, scared I’m hurting her.
“No, don’t stop, I want this.” She holds onto me, not letting me go. Her nails dig into my skin and my breathing comes faster. I can feel her let go and my own desire builds, fever rushing through me as she cries out my name. I’m brought to the edge, my control releases and I soar. Taking me to a place where I have never been before.
“That was…” I’m struggling to catch my breath. “Unbelievable. It was…” Heavy breaths are all I can get out for the next few seconds.
She fits perfectly huddled under my arm, her arm draped across my chest. With all the twists and turns that lead to this moment I’m so happy to finally be here. “I love you, Cassie. This is the most perfect moment of my life, having you in my arms like this, knowing that you love me.”
Her h
and darts up to her face and wipe away at the tear I see sliding down her cheek. I feel her lips press up against my chest and she kisses my skin gently while I play with her long hair running it through my fingers.
“I’ll be right back,” she says sitting up and reaching for her clothes.
“Where are you going?” I’m up on my elbows watching her with a hint of fear. Her face doesn’t mirror the happiness of my own expression. “You okay?”
She stands up slipping her shirt back in place. “All the beer I drank, I’m just gonna, ya know…nature calls, over in the woods. I’ll be back in a minute.”
All the beer? The can I took from her was almost full. She only had the one can of beer. And some of that even spilled out when she opened it.
When she doesn’t come back right away I step outside to wait for her. A few minutes later I realize she’s not coming back.
Tucker
The next morning Tessa is showered, dressed, and looking perfect before I’ve even adjusted my eyes to the streams of filtered sunlight filling the tent. She’s on her knees rolling her sleeping bag into a tight roll.
“Morning,” she says quickly exiting the tent. There’s been a shift. Looks like last night changed things for us. She didn’t fall in love with me just yet. But I had time to think overnight, she’ll get there. This doesn’t this mean we’re over. Does it?
I throw on a clean shirt and step from the tent. Tessa’s avoiding looking at me. She’s got large black sunglasses covering half her face, sitting on top of the rolled up sleeping bag, examining her fingernails.
I walk over, grab both hands and pull her up. Her head moves down scanning me like always. That’s a good sign. “How do I look?” I ask opened armed with a grin.
She hesitates before answering. “Good,” she replies coldly and walks away.
I follow her to the nowhere place she’s walking to just to get away from me. “This is because of last night? Because I told you I broke the rules? I don’t get it. I thought that’s what you wanted. Do you think I didn’t mean it? Because Tessa, I do mean it. I am very in…”
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