How to Date an Alien

by Magan Vernon

  “Do you—” His eyes drew up, drinking me in before meeting my stare. “—like me?”

  I couldn’t breathe or swallow. It was as if all the air and saliva had been sucked out of me, and I just sat there breathless and staring as Ace arched his eyebrows. His intense focus fixated into my own like the answer would be right there on my face.

  Then he smiled, letting a hushed laugh escape his lips. “I’m kidding with you!" He sat back down, bumping my knees with his and then turning his chair back toward the screen.

  “Oh, yeah, I knew that." I swallowed hard, turning my chair back toward the screen. He might have said he was kidding, but just as all the air came back into my lungs, a part of me felt disappointed. I shook those feelings out of my head and looked back to the computer.

  “Did you really?”

  I turned back to realize that his eyes never left me.

  I looked down. “That’s two questions; you only get one.”

  “Fine then." He pulled my chair and whipped it toward him so hard that I couldn’t even think or catch my breath.

  “Ow, Ace." I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the exact spot where there was still a bruise from where Magpie choked me.

  “Why would you ask me a question like that anyway? If I like you?" His stare was so deep I felt like I could actually feel his eyes drill into mine.

  I tried to look anywhere but at him. But any time I moved, his eyes would always find mine again. I let out the weakest shrug I could under the pressure. “I don’t know. Some of the other interns were just talking about the way you looked at me the other day.”

  He sighed as if my words were the final punch that defeated him, and he sat back down in his chair, shaking his head. “You know aliens and humans aren’t supposed to have any kind of relations other than professional, right?”

  I arched a brow, inching my chair just a little closer, hoping that it was safe to do so. “Well I mean we’re friends, right? Can we not do that or something?”

  This time he was the one trying not to look at me. “Technically yes and technically no.”

  I crossed my legs and I leaned in closer. “That didn’t make any sense.”

  He finally turned toward me, but this time instead of his eyes looking intense and frightening, they had softened with an expression that made him look like a scared puppy. “I wasn’t supposed to save you that day. I shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

  For the first time his hands trailed to my fingertips, tracing along my nail line. I felt the warmth from his fingers explode through my body. “But when I saw you laying there, so helpless…” He didn’t take his eyes off my fingers as he intertwined them with his own, letting their heat lock into me. “I knew that I had to do something,” he finished, looking up.

  His face was so close to mine that I could see every line, as if it were molded by the Greeks themselves into a picturesque statue. My lips trembled as his words fell onto them, parting ever so slightly as he leaned in closer.

  The sound of the metal doors being pushed open startled us and we both almost jumped out of our chairs. Ace quickly released his hands from mine and started furiously typing away on the screen. I was too shocked to even move, so I just sat there trying to catch my breath as my dad walked through the door.

  “Hey, Alex." My dad put his hand on my shoulder and nodded in Ace’s direction. “Ace.”

  He couldn’t have seen anything; he had been behind the door. But even if he did see something, was there anything to see? Holding hands and an almost-kiss couldn’t be a crime. Or maybe it was in the alien world.

  Ace nodded in my dad’s direction, not looking away from the screen. "Colonel."

  “Uh, what are you doing here, Dad?" I looked up at him, trying to stop the shaking in my knees. “Checking up on me?”

  “Is there a reason I need to be checking up on you?" My dad raised an eyebrow, giving me the dad death stare.

  “Well, no." I looked down at my feet, trying to grasp at what to say without sounding guilty.

  Ace sighed. “Just tell him, Alex.”

  I looked up and over at Ace, trying to hide the panic in my eyes. Was it okay to be telling my dad that I just had a very close encounter with an alien?

  Ace took his eyes off me and looked up at my dad. “She figured out how to hack other people’s accounts, and we were looking at what sort of e-mails her classmates were sending back and forth. I know it’s against protocol.” He shrugged as he turned back to the computer screen. “But she was curious.”

  I gulped, forcing a weak smile as I looked back up at my dad.

  “Well, I guess I can let it slide for you this time." He patted my shoulder. “Just don’t go snooping around again, okay? Wouldn’t want the colonel's daughter getting in trouble, now would we? I think you’ve already given us a few scares." He smiled, but it was forced, like a warning. It was as if he knew what we were really doing, but he couldn’t prove it.

  "Speaking of e-mails." My dad cleared his throat. "Your mom has left me a few messages. She said that she's tried e-mailing and calling you, but hasn't gotten a response."

  Of course I saw the e-mails and missed text messages, but I didn't want to read my mom's embarrassing e-mails in front of Ace, or anyone else for that matter. As a novelist my mom seemed to have a way with words, specifically the way she would overdramatize them. She could take an innocent trip to the grocery store with my little brother and turn it into World War III. Not something I wanted my alien crush to be reading over my shoulder. It wasn't like I already didn't get enough embarrassment from my dad checking in on us. I didn't want to add another humiliating parent to the mix.

  I nodded. "Yeah, I saw them. I've just been really busy getting acclimated to everything, but I'll make sure to send her back a message."

  An awkward silence passed between us as my dad looked between Ace and me, like he was waiting for us to say something.

  “I guess I should get back to my real job then." I turned toward the computer screen, hoping that I hadn't embarrassed myself too much in front of Ace and that my face wasn't completely flushed. “Have to go and check out some more alien blogs.”

  “Alright, well I’ll see you later.” Dad patted my shoulder again before exiting through the metal doors.

  We didn’t move. It seemed like hours before Ace finally scooted back over to me.

  “Well that was interesting." I breathed a sigh of relief.

  Ace turned my chair back toward him, not saying a word as his fingers traced my jawline, locking his eyes onto mine. “Yeah, but I would do it all over again.”

  Chapter 10

  Trying to work was really hard when all you can think about was how the lines in your co-worker's jaw curve into a perfect dimpled chin. After all those times he was so aloof, it was difficult to not welcome his sudden change of heart, and think about testing how far it could go.

  "Hello? Alex? Are you even listening to me?" Jen asked.

  When all I was thinking about was Ace, it kind of made it hard to think about anything else, or pay attention to what I was doing. "Oh, yeah, I'm totally listening. I was just thinking about something that you said."

  Jen was sitting on the bed across from me, her long legs pulled up to her chin as she swept a dark pink color across her toenails.

  "Or you're thinking about someone." She pointed the end of her brush at me.

  I was hoping that my cheeks weren't the exact same color as her nail polish as I stammered, "No, totally not true."

  "You know Gavin has done nothing but talk about you. You should really go out with us. I know you can't drink, but it's a podunk bowling alley in the mountains, so I'm sure they won't card you just to get in." She looked back down to her nails.

  I had avoided going out with the rest of the interns for weeks, especially after the last incident with Gavin. I usually spent my nights working overtime in the office, just to use it as an excuse to blog, or really just to spend more time with Ace.

  "I don't
know. What would my dad say?" I thought that was a good enough excuse as I flopped down on the bed, looking at my own unpainted nails.

  "He would say to stop ignoring your friends and to live a little." She screwed the cap on her nail polish before hovering over me. "You can't spend your summer cooped up in here with a Caltian or you may just turn into an alien yourself!"

  I sat straight up, widening my eyes as I looked at Jen. "Can that really happen?"

  She snorted. "Okay, seriously, Alex, if you are asking me that question, then you really aren't working when you are saying that you are." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Is somebody doing more than just working behind closed doors?"

  "Ew!" It was the first I had heard from Riley all night. She sprang from her bed and stormed over to Jen's bed, pushing Jen aside to sit down directly facing me. "You aren't really fooling around with that Ace guy are you?"

  "Well, no, but—"

  "But, what?" She raised her penciled-in eyebrows and scooted closer. "Aliens and humans don't date. Period. It's just gross. They're like another species. It would be as if you were making out with a lizard, or a dolphin, or something."

  “Riley, there’s no reason to be rude about it." Jen looked from Riley then back to me. “But are you seeing him?"

  I tried not to meet either of their faces, but I could feel them staring at me, so I focused on Jen’s fluffy pink bedspread. “No, nothing's going on. We’re just friends.”

  “Ugh." Riley got off the bed and headed toward the bathroom. “Still weird. I mean how could you even have anything in common with him? He’s a freaking Caltian.”

  She shut the door behind her, leaving Jen and I sitting alone on the bed. We sat in silence until I heard the light spray of the water turn on and hoped that Riley wouldn’t hear us over the shower.

  “If you are interested in him, I won’t tell Riley,” Jen whispered, inching closer. “I don’t understand it, but if you are—”

  "Well, I don’t know if you would call it interested." I smiled, still looking down at the bedspread.

  “I knew it!" Jen tried her hardest not to squeal as she bounced. I finally looked up at Jen, trying to hide my smile. I failed miserably, as it clearly spread across my face and settled into a wide grin.

  “How did you know?" I asked. My smile began to fade while I twirled a stray strand of fabric around my fingers. "It's not like he would have any interest in me. You said that Caltians are like the popular kids, which means a guy who has spent years on this planet would definitely not be interested in a blogging nerd like me."

  “I think you aren’t giving yourself enough credit." She got off the bed and walked toward her dresser. “Maybe you should invite him to come with tonight." She plucked a shirt out of her drawer.

  “Why would I do that?" I got up from the bed and walked over to Jen, leaning up against her dresser.

  “Because that’s what you do with guys you like. Invite them out with your friends." She raised her eyebrows. “Sometimes it seems like you're light years away from other people’s thought processes.”

  “But won't people like Riley freak out about it?" I pushed.

  “Who really cares what Riley thinks?" She slid the shirt over the tank top she was wearing. “Tell him to show up with some of his alien friends and you may just happen to run into each other there.”

  “I can’t do that." I looked down at my shoes, scuffing one against the other.

  She pulled her shirt down, and then looked at me. “Of course you can. Now go put on something that doesn’t make you look twelve, and go ask him!" She pushed me toward my dresser.

  “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?" I looked down at my faded unicorn t-shirt and jeans. “It’s vintage. He’ll appreciate vintage.”

  Jen rolled her eyes and tossed a black v-neck shirt in my direction. “Yeah, he appreciates vintage, but he doesn’t want to date it.”

  I held the shirt up, staring at the very low-cut neckline. "Can't I just wear something that I already own?"

  "Well, yeah, if you have something that isn't your uniform or another one of those vintage t-shirts." She dug through a small pink bag on her dresser, pulling out an eye shadow and holding it up to my face.

  "What are you doing?" I raised my eyebrows.

  "I'm trying to find an eye shadow that will match your olive complexion. It's not every day that I'm trying to sexify an Italian girl for an alien." She giggled, removing my glasses and swiping a layer of eye shadow over my left eyelid before I could protest.

  "Are you sure this is a good idea?" I questioned as she tugged my hair out of its ponytail.

  "No." She let her fingers glide through my hair before she grabbed a jar of hair wax from her dresser and started taking the limp brown layers and flipping them at the ends as they fell against my face. "But the best ideas never are."

  ****

  I walked down the long, glaring white hallway toward the security office, hoping that Ace would be there. I felt like I looked really stupid wearing the low-cut shirt and all the makeup that Jen made me wear. I thought I looked like some kind of desperate housewife, but Jen kept assuring me that I looked great and pushed me out of the room before Riley could get out of the bathroom and figure out what we were up to.

  As the door to the security office slid open, I tried to hide the huge grin that wanted to spread across my face, as I saw that Ace was sitting there.

  “Hey Alex, ready to do some more overtime?" He glanced at me, but then when he actually saw me he spun his chair so that he was completely facing me, covering his mouth to stifle a laugh.

  “What’s so funny?" I crossed my arms, trying to cover my gaping chest and walk toward him.

  He removed his hand from his mouth and stood up, inching toward me. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?" I could feel the coldness from his body as if his skin were practically on me, while his eyes peered down into mine.

  I gulped before regaining my composure and looking up at him. “Quoting one of my favorite movies is not going to make up for you laughing at me.”

  “You know this whole look might be complete if you had contacts and got rid of the glasses."

  I tried not to stare, but my lips were quivering with each word he breathed onto my face.

  “Well, that’s not going to happen since I’m allergic to contact lenses, so I guess you’ll just have to get used to my four eyes." I tried to look defiant as I adjusted my glasses, but couldn’t deny how weak I was getting in the knees. I couldn’t tell if it was because I didn’t have my temperature control suit on or if my body was actually just overcome with a cold chill from Ace being so close.

  “There is always eye surgery." He lifted his hands and removed my glasses, his fingers gliding through my hair and sending tingles through my scalp before he set them aside. “All those fancy eye surgeries are just eye doctors using Caltian saliva to cure people’s bad vision.”

  “Really?" I tried not to let my voice waver, but as I stared at his lips, so close to mine, it was hard not to.

  “Yeah." His fingers moved to the side of my face. “Do you want me to try it?”

  “Um, sure." There was no way that I would have ever said no to anything he asked me to do, especially when he had his hands on my face and was looking at me with that intense stare. And well, I wanted to be able to see without having to wear glasses all the time.

  “Alright now, hold still and open your eyes really wide." He pressed his gloved palms against my temples and moved his lips, so they were only an inch from my face.

  I opened my eyes really wide, thinking that I must look ridiculous. “Ready.”

  He sucked in a huge breath, making a gurgling sound as if he was going to spit, and then pulled away in a fit of laughter that left him holding his stomach and leaning over.

  “What’s so funny? Did I really look that stupid?" I quickly grabbed my glasses and slid them back on, trying to ignore how hot my face felt. Even though most of his body was always freezing, his every touch
still made me feel warm all over.

  “You were seriously just about to let me spit in your eye!" He breathed between laughs, before walking back toward me.

  “Well, you told me that Caltian spit would cure my eyesight." I held out my hands to the side.

  He approached me, lacing his fingers with mine. “And do you really believe everything that people tell you?”

  The heat radiated from his fingers and I couldn’t help but stare down at them. I raised our intertwined hands. "Why are your hands always so warm when the rest of you is freezing? And this time I’ll know if you’re lying.”

  Now it was his turn to get embarrassed. His fingertips circled each one of my fingers. “Well it’s probably not something you would believe even if I told you.”

  I squeezed our intertwined hands together. “Try me.”

  “Well, when humans get excited to see someone they like…" His eyes darted away before returning back to my face. I couldn't believe it. The great Ace was actually getting flustered.

  "…things happen," he continued. "You get weak in the knees." He inched closer, pushing his legs against mine. "Your lips tremble." He touched his finger to my lips, making them quiver even more than they already were. "Or, other things." His eyes trailed from my toes, back up to my face.

  “But Caltians—” He released his hand from mine and for the first time slid off his fingerless glove. “—We usually maintain a cool temperature of forty-five degrees Fahrenheit, but when we get this excited, this happens."

  He put my hand back into his and it was like the feeling of static electricity running through my body. The heat was so intense that it sent a wave of warmth from the tip of my toes to the top of my head and everywhere in between.

  “It’s all in our hands.”

  His eyes met mine again. I couldn’t tell if it was the warm feeling running through my body or just how close I was to Ace, but every part of me wanted him closer, to feel the cold air from his body. Ace obviously had the same idea as he leaned in toward me, his breath forming an ice cloud on my lips.