How to Date an Alien

by Magan Vernon

  "Alex, there is no reason to worry. The trained soldiers will take care of this. I really don't want to see you get hurt and I’m sure Ace wouldn't want that either."

  I threw dad's hand off my shoulder. "You have no idea what Ace would want. You know nothing about our relationship and all the time that you had to get to know us, you decided to just ignore what you saw." I jumped off the couch, leaning over dad and stepping closer, not letting my stare waver from his. "You knew when you walked in on us that day we said we were looking at people's e-mails that there was something going on between us. But instead of talking to me about it, you decided not to say anything until you knew that you could just walk in, smack a tracker on my ankle, and try to control me."

  "Alex, it's not like that." He put his hands out, whispering, "And keep your voice down."

  "Keep my voice down?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Dad, you can't expect to just lead me into your suite, make me a pot of tea, blow a bombshell like that, and expect me not to freak out."

  He sighed again. Dad was becoming a professional sigher. "Alex, I've already lost you once. It was hell not being able to see you the past few years. There were so many moments that I thought I had lost you forever, and if something were to happen to you, I don't think I could live with myself. I just want to protect you."

  I nodded, holding back my tears. "I understand, Dad."

  "You do?" Wrinkles creased his forehead and made him look years older.

  "Yeah, you're just being a dad and I'm sure it would be pretty hard to explain to mom if anything happened to me." I forced a tight-lipped smile. He didn't need to know what I was really thinking.

  He let out a deep breath. "Okay, well how about you get to your room and pack up? Then I'll come and get you when we're ready to go down to the bunker?"

  "Sounds great." I tried to get as much enthusiasm in my voice as I could muster. I left him standing in his suite, thinking that he had actually made headway.

  ****

  "So how would someone go into an intergalactic battle without their dad knowing?" I called as I stepped in the room. Jen was perched on the bed, her computer on her lap and her bag packed and ready on the floor beside her.

  She put her computer down and sat up. "You're not serious, are you?"

  I ran over to her bed and sat down by her feet. "What else am I supposed to do, Jen? Just sit back and watch almost everyone I know and love possibly die at the hands of some evil queen?"

  "But you've never flown a plane. It could be really dangerous. You would be an immediate target." She leaned in closer, making sure I fully understood her words.

  "Yeah, I've realized that, but don't you think Ace would do the same thing for me? Don't you think he would have already taken a plane and started fighting before anyone gave him the go ahead?" I widened my eyes.

  Jen shook her head, smiling. "From what I've seen of Ace, I think we both know that he would definitely do that."

  She put her hand up before I could respond. "But, Ace is also a trained Caltian and Army Air Force fighter, so it's safe to say that he probably has a lot more experience than a high school girl from Illinois."

  "I can see your point, but do you really think that it's going to stop me?"

  She shook her head, letting out a deep puff of air from her nose. "No, I really don't think that anyone could. You're kind of stubborn."

  I shrugged. "I take after my dad's side."

  She rolled her eyes. "So what's your brilliant plan then, Helen?"

  "Helen?"

  "You know, Helen of Troy? The whole reason they started the battle of Troy? Well, of course, she actually didn't fight anyone. I think the gods were the only mythical creatures that actually kicked butt." She smiled.

  "Maybe I need a more kickass nickname instead of all these star-crossed lover ones. Have you ever seen any of these damsel-in-distress-type characters just go off wielding a knife and start fighting back?" I scooted farther onto the bed.

  "No, I guess that's what history will have you for. The first kickass damsel in distress." She looked down at her comforter. "And after seeing the way you handled that guard's weapon I have no doubt that you can at least get a few shots in against the Caltians."

  "Some dads just send their daughters a card with money for their birthdays. My dad sent me certificates for shooting lessons and self defense classes." I laughed.

  Jen shook her head and looked up at me. "So what's your plan then, damsel?"

  I shrugged. "That's why I came here. I'm not really the planning type as you may have come to realize."

  Jen pulled up her computer. "Well, you should be lucky then that you have a friend like me who's done her research."

  I looked at the screen to see a map of a triangular Caltian spaceship with some notes typed at the bottom.

  "Where did you get this?" I adjusted my glasses and leaned in closer to the screen.

  Jen pushed a few buttons, making the ship light up on the screen. "I spend my day working in an alien laboratory and reproducing cells, but you don't think that I can find a copy of an alien mothership?"

  "Touché."

  I stared at the dark blue screen with white lines tracing the triangular shape of the ship and labeling the different locations. It looked nothing like any of the planes that I had seen when I lived with my dad on base and couldn't believe the intricate levels and details. Everything seemed meticulously planned and positioned, from the large engines that sat near the back of the ship to the command center spreading across the front.

  I tried not to tremble as I wondered what kind of artillery they had lying in the bottom level marked "weapons chamber," and feared if one little Taser could take me out of commission, then something in that chamber could probably kill me with only the push of a button.

  Jen pointed to a small area at the back, lower chamber of the ship that was lit up in green. "Every ship has its Achilles heel, and even though the Caltians really don't have much of one, there is still a way for you to get on board."

  "You want me to board the ship? How am I supposed to do that? Are you going to beam me up there?" I looked over at Jen.

  She rolled her eyes, looking off the screen. "Have you learned anything while you've been here or do you still believe everything you see in science fiction movies?"

  "A little bit of both."

  Jen tossed her hair over her shoulder. "The beaming technology has been looked into, but it's still in the trial stages and it is usually only used when you know exactly where you are going and aren't guessing."

  My eyes widened as I looked from the screen back to Jen. "So you don't exactly know where I'm going?"

  Jen bit her lip. "This is a few decades old, but I'm pretty sure that it's accurate enough to get you in."

  "And then what happens?"

  "Justin," Jen called, pushing a button on her computer.

  Justin's freckled face popped up on the screen. "Yo, Jen." His eyes trailed over to me. "Oh, hey, Alex, heard you have one hell of a kill shot. Can't wait to see it in action." He winked.

  "Justin, this is serious right now." Jen narrowed her eyes at the screen.

  Justin rolled his eyes. "I know, I know, but if you aren't nice to me I'm not going to show you the new toys that I made for Alex."

  "Toys?" I questioned.

  "Toys, or weapons of mass destruction, but that's your call." He bent over, letting his head go off the screen. He came back up holding a small instrument that looked like a silver banana.

  "This little beauty is what I like to call the ice box, specially designed to withstand the cool temperatures present on any Caltian ship. Lightweight and deadly." He smiled, tossing the gun back and forth in his hands.

  Jen stared at the screen. "How is a gun going to destroy an ice queen?"

  Justin shook his head, wagging his finger at the screen. "Such little faith."

  He set the gun down and picked up two little red balls that looked like marbles on fire. "These are volcanic fireballs. Filled
with liquid hot magma and able to penetrate the thickest, coldest objects we could come up with in the lab."

  "Do you think it can take down a Caltian army?" I stared at the glowing red light.

  "Well if it doesn't, we do have some other weapons that will knock them out of commission for awhile." He grinned and picked up a small silver object that looked like a whistle. "This little girl is what I like to call the Carrie. One little squeeze and your enemy is instantly covered in burning red syrup."

  He leaned in toward the screen. "Aim for the eyes and they'll be temporarily blinded."

  I nodded, watching the way Justin handled the weapons like they really were nothing more than toys.

  "And if all else fails—" He reached over and pulled a small blue flashlight-looking object infront of the screen. "—we have the freezeray, which does exactly what it sounds like it does, freezes your enemy for no less than three minutes so you can either get away, or if you're really ambitious, break them apart like an ice cube."

  I stared at the objects Justin had placed in front of him. Each one looked so complicated and intricate that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to use them. "Do you think this is actually going to work, Justin?"

  His eyes locked right on mine as he stared into the screen. "I wouldn't trust anyone else but you to find out."

  Chapter 26

  I watched out the window, the same window where not long before Ace had leapt through and taken me out for the ride that changed everything. I watched as a few Circe ships disappeared into the Arizona sunset. I hoped they might actually stop the Caltians before I had to risk my life.

  "Are you sure you want to do this?" Jen put her hand on my shoulder, sliding in next to me at the window.

  I looked over at her, putting on my bravest face and pulling my shoulders back. "I'm sure."

  "You know it takes a lot of balls to do what you're about to do. I don't know if it's to prove that David can stand up to Goliath, or if it's the ultimate gesture of romance." She put her hand on mine, not taking her eyes off the mountains ahead. "But whatever it is, I hope you and Ace both come out of this alive."

  I took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. "Me too, Jen."

  "And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you about Ace earlier. I can see how much you really do care for each other and I'm sorry for doubting that."

  "Well," I started, my shoulders falling as I let out a deep breath, "as long as Ace and I can survive kidnapping, breaking and entering, and whatever other laws I'm about to break, then I'm sure our relationship can last through anything else."

  "I'm still wondering how the meet-the-parents scenario is going to go." Jen coughed, clearing her throat. "Sorry, I realized what I said after I had already said it. That was kind of a bad word vomit there."

  "Yeah, I'm sure all girls have to worry about the fact that their boyfriend's mom may kill them when they first meet her."

  "I'm sure it happens all the time, so we'd better get you prepared." She put her arm around me and led me to the doorway.

  Most of the residents of Circe were either down at briefing or hunkered in underground shelters waiting for it all to be over. Jen and I looked in either direction before we made our way down the hallway toward the hangar.

  "Have you thought of an excuse to tell my dad to explain why I'm missing?" I whispered.

  Jen shrugged. "I hadn't thought that far yet."

  As we turned the corner, I gasped when I saw dad talking to a guard standing a few doors down from us. I ducked back around the wall and pulled Jen with me.

  "How are we going to get past my dad?" I whispered, looking at Jen as she poked her head around me.

  "You're the master of espionage, not me. I'm just a scientist," she whispered back.

  I looked to either side of us, when I spotted a supply closet. "In there!" I pointed to the closet. We ducked inside and shut the door before dad could make his way in front of it.

  "Are you planning on dressing up like a Circe guard?" Jen asked, fingering a white leather-like suit, hanging in the closet where we hid.

  "I was planning to just stay in here until my dad was out of the way, but your plan works too." I beamed and pulled a suit down from the rack for myself and one for Jen.

  It was difficult for us to get into the suits. We were boxed into a very small space together, and Jen's Amazon arms kept bumping into me. Eventually we were able to put the guard suits on and found some blacked-out flight helmets so that no one would recognize us.

  When we emerged back into the hallway, the chaos had really started to unfold. Guards were directing people to go either underground or to the battleships. All around me were familiar faces that I had seen so many times around Circe, and I wondered if this was the last time I would see some of them.

  I choked back that fear and kept walking in stride with Jen. This wasn't the time to fall apart, and no matter how much I wanted to run and hide in the bunker, I knew I was the one that got everyone into this mess, and it was up to me to get us all out.

  ****

  "Well, that's a new look for you." Malcolm laughed. Jen and I pulled off our helmets as soon as we were safely in the hangar.

  I rolled my eyes, tossing the helmet to the side. "We had to improvise."

  "Well, you can't fly in that thing." Malcolm tossed me a black jumpsuit. "Duck behind something and get your flight suit on."

  "Aye, aye." I mock saluted him, grabbing the suit and jumping behind a ship to change.

  "Aren't you guys getting ready to go, too?" I poked my head from around the ship.

  Jen and Malcolm looked at each other, then back to me.

  "Interns really aren't supposed to go on these kinds of missions. They wouldn't exactly know how to explain to our parents or colleges if something were to happen to us." Jen bit down on her lip and looked to the ground.

  I zipped up the front of my far-too-tight suit, stepping out from around the ship. "So you're trying to tell me that I'm doing this solo."

  Justin popped out of nowhere and came sauntering toward us like he didn't have a care in the world. "Not completely solo."

  I beamed, looking over at him. "So, you're coming with me?"

  Justin held up his hands. "Oh definitely not. I'm just here to equip you with weapons and your communicator."

  Justin held up what looked like a black work belt. “This front pocket—” He tapped the small pouch in the front. “—holds your volcanic fire balls, and I’ve slipped your gun and other weapons in the back." He turned the belt around to show where the gun stuck out and two bulges that flanked both sides of it. I took the belt from Justin and secured it around my waist.

  “And this—” He held up what looked like a wristwatch with an oversized screen. "—is your communicator. Lose this, and we may lose you."

  I took the watch from Justin and fastened it around my wrist. “So what you’re trying to tell me is, no pressure, right?”

  Justin cracked a nervous smile before he looked out into the horizon. “I just hope this works out for all of us.” He looked down, whispering something that I couldn’t hear.

  “What was that?" I leaned toward him.

  He turned back around. “Oh nothing. It’s stupid.”

  “No, I want to hear what you had to say." Justin’s eyes widened at my look of defiance.

  He looked over at Malcolm and Jen who nodded their heads before he turned back to me. “I know it seems kind of silly, at a time when you don’t really know everything that’s out there in the universe, but I was just saying a small prayer." He unzipped the top of his suit showing a small cross necklace. “No matter how many things I’ve learned about this universe and beyond, I’ve realized that sometimes you still gotta have faith.”

  I nodded, looking down at the cross and remembering going to Mass with my dad as a little girl. The way that he would hold my hand as we stood in our pew, telling me that God would always be watching, just like he said he would always be looking out for me when he left that day for Cir
ce. I was only a little girl and couldn’t understand why my dad would have to leave me. Now, years later I finally understood why and gained that bit of strength I needed to do the same.

  “Well, with that I think it’s time that Malcolm teaches me how to get this bird up in the air." I hit the side of the plane in front of me.

  Malcolm glanced around. “It looks like most people have taken off, so you should be clear." He walked over to the plane, letting down the step. “Have you ever actually flown one before? I know you don’t have the best eyesight.” His voice drifted as he secured the step.

  I shrugged, putting my foot down on the first rung of the step. “I've gone up once or twice with my dad, and I figure that I’m a fast learner. If I turn my head quick enough I can see to the right and left.”

  Malcolm forced a smile, but from the way he was sweating I could tell that he was pretty nervous that I wouldn’t be coming back. “Alright, climb in and we’ll test out the communicator so I can give you directions.”

  I nodded in Malcolm’s direction, then looked over at Jen and Justin. “I will see you all when I’m back on the ground, hopefully with my alien sitting co-pilot.”

  Jen and Justin waved. I could tell that they were fighting back the tears and were unsure if I would make it back. I sucked in my breath, waving one last time before climbing into the plane. When I was younger we lived on base for awhile and I remembered sitting in the cockpit with my dad and playing with all the buttons while the plane was turned off. This was a little bit different and all those buttons were intimidating. I shrugged off my fears the best that I could and hopped into my seat, letting the overhead canopy close down over me.

  “This is Big Poppa to Juliet, can you hear me?" Malcolm’s voice called over my wrist communicator.

  “My code name is Juliet? Really, Malcolm?"

  “Well, Jen said you didn’t like Helen of Troy and Big Poppa was already taken, so Juliet it is.” He laughed.