Look to the Rainbow

by Lynn Murphy

  “I gave your mother the necklace the night before we got married,” Kel said, “and we bought the other pieces at Cartier in Paris on our honeymoon.”

  “She wore this in your wedding,” Janet said, touching the necklace.

  “She did. She looked incredibly beautiful that day.” His expression was just a little bit sad.

  “Thank you for keeping them for me.”

  Mary Katherine came into the room to take some photographs of Janet and Kel, and then some of Janet alone, and then with her bridesmaids, who each wore the same style dress in different fall colors; Casey in apple green, Sara in gold, Odette in pumpkin and Catriona in rust. The flowers were lilies and mums in the same colors and the church itself was banked in the same flowers, with tall topiaries of the same flowers lining the aisles and nearly a thousand candles.

  The pre ceremony pictures were taken and they had only to wait for the ceremony to begin. And then, Janet thought, I will walk down the aisle to marry Alan.

  Tara had debated long and hard whether to attend Janet’s wedding. She had opened the beautifully engraved invitation and been moved to have been asked to attend. Someone had leaked the reason for her losing her job and she had been chased and followed by the press even more than before. She knew that her presence would take the emphasis off the bride and that was something she had no desire to do. But she also wanted to see Janet marry Alan, to at least be there when Kel gave her away and experience that milestone with him, even if she wasn’t actually with him. The media hype surrounding her had only increased when Kel had asked them to leave her alone. She had almost cried watching him on television asking for them to respect her privacy, citing that they had already cost her a relationship and her job.

  She had very nearly decided not to go at all. But then the calls started coming. First from Janet sincerely expressing a desire for her to be there. And Lily, asking her to come and stay with them. Casey came by her apartment and all but begged her to attend. Finally Evan and Mary Katherine came up with a plan, where she would fly in the day of the wedding and Evan would pick her up for the ceremony while Mary Katherine took the pre ceremony pictures. Her father went a step further and booked a chartered flight so that she wouldn’t attract attention when she got to the airport.

  With the chartered small plane she was able to fly into the small regional airport too, and she and Evan managed to escape any media attention at all. He drove her to George and Lily’s house and Lily greeted her as warmly as ever as she and George were leaving to go to the church. Evan told her to take her time getting ready, that they had plenty of time. He was waiting for her downstairs, having changed into white tie himself when she came down, wearing a stunning champagne colored lace evening gown. It was only as they were driving to the church that she asked about Kel.

  “Is Kel okay?”

  Evan said, “Physically? Yes. He hasn’t been sick again. But I think he’s tired and I think he misses you.”

  “I miss him too, Evan, but every time I think we can make this work, something happens that convinces me it’s impossible.”

  “You do know everyone has been working together to conspire to get the two of you back together.”

  “And that’s sweet, but I really don’t know what I need to do.”

  “You need to decide you love him enough to make it work, or you need to be done completely. I know you wouldn’t willingly hurt him, but you are. It isn’t fair to either of you the way it is right now.”

  They pulled up in front of the church and there was, as she had anticipated but had hoped there wouldn’t be, a crowd of photographers and news reporters. She had developed a strong dislike for her chosen profession and was seriously considering doing something else altogether different. This experience had left a bad taste in her mouth for journalists.

  Evan said, “Sorry, but there are so many guests they’re valet parking so we can’t try to slip in the back. So, we either make a run for it and they say Kel left you to fend for yourself, or we stroll casually to the door and have them take a thousand pictures.”

  She said, “And say we’re having an affair?”

  Evan laughed. “Maybe. I say we don’t run.”

  He came around and opened the door for her and handed his keys to the parking attendant. She took his arm and they headed through the crowd of cameras and microphones and tried to make their way up the front steps. Evan said her name and she looked up and saw Kel coming down the steps toward them. Oddly, they parted like the red sea as he passed by them and he took her hand and he and Evan escorted her into the church without any further harassment. He kissed her quickly and handed her over to Skip who sat her right behind the family and told her to save him a place. The church was decorated so beautifully, the stained glass windows aglow with candles and all the beautiful floral arrangements. She could hardly wait to see what Janet had chosen to wear.

  There was a string quartet playing and then Jim came and took his place at the grand piano. She had heard the family joke about a “Lily Lansing wedding” but she had no idea what that had meant until all the lights were dimmed and the church was illuminated by the glow of the candles only. Skip escorted Lily to her seat as honorary grandmother and then took his place beside Tara. He gave her a little hug as he sat down. “Was it awful outside?’ he whispered.

  “Yes,” she whispered back. “They just won’t let it rest”

  “Maybe after the election,” he said, as the flower girls started in.

  The bridesmaids filed in, each looking beautiful in their fall colored dresses, and then Janet and Kel appeared in the doorway and everyone stood as they began their walk down the aisle. Tara thought that she had never seen such an elaborate wedding gown, or for that matter such a handsome father of the bride. Alan looked completely happy as his bride came to meet him at the front of the church, with John, Evan, and Ross standing next to him. Kel gave his daughter away and went to stand with the groomsmen. The couple said their vows and were pronounced man and wife and sealed their union with a romantic kiss before exiting the church to the wedding march from The Sound of Music, which had been the processional at Alise and Kel’s wedding.

  Photographs were taken and the bride and groom left the church for the reception at George and Lily’s home in a horse and carriage. Before Tara could leave the sanctuary, Kel had come back for her.

  “Ride with me to the reception,” he said.

  “Oh Kel, if I do there will be so much media attention.”

  “I don’t care.”

  She looked up at him. “All right.”

  He took her hand and led her out the back door and to his butter yellow vintage convertible. The got into the car without anyone noticing them, but the press was still camped out in front and as soon as his car came into view they began to follow them.

  “Maybe I should have rented something plain and boring,” Kel said. “This car does stand out.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Tara said. “How long have you had it?”

  “Since Dad died. He had just bought it and Mother gave it to me.”

  She loved that he had been so close to his father that he had kept his car all these years and said so.

  “He was a wonderful father,” Kel said.

  “I suspect you are too.”

  He smiled at her, while checking the rear view mirror to see how many reporters were still following them. “Thank you. I hope so.” He drove into the driveway and spoke to the parking attendant and drove past where the rest of the cars were being parked to the side of the house where the family was parked. “They can’t come on the grounds, so you’re safe and you aren’t leaving so you’re good for the night.”

  It was a relief to be away from the long lenses and prying eyes and she relaxed a little and it felt the way it had been when they had first met. Here at George and Lily’s house she could so easily picture a life with him, but out on public view she panicked. She vowed to herself to try and enjoy this evening with him.

&nb
sp; He took her hand again and before they went inside he swept her into an embrace and kissed her. She was so glad not to have any photographers to witness the moment so that she could kiss him back. She was nearly breathless when she became aware of a flash. They both turned in the direction of the flash and they both started laughing. Mary Katherine, with Evan beside her, had captured the moment. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Those aren’t for public display, just for us.”

  Evan said, “Lily was worried you had gotten detained by the press.”

  “They followed us,” Kel said, “but at a distance. If they got photos, they won’t be able to see much.”

  They started into the house and Evan said casually, “So Tara, do you by any chance know how to tango?”

  “Oh,” said Kel, “so it’s going to be a tango showdown, is it?”

  Tara remembered that Kel had once told that he and Evan tried to out dance each other at big functions, the loser from the last event picked the dance.

  “Watch out Kel,” Mary Katherine said. “He and Casey have been practicing.”

  “I don’t need practice,” Kel said.

  “Why Casey and not you?” Tara asked Mary Katherine.

  “I’m afraid that I am not as proficient on the dance floor as my husband,” Mary Katherine said. “I’m good for a waltz and something that resembles a fox trot, but the tango and anything like it are far too complex for me. I’m quite happy to let him dance with Casey or Sarah or the other O’Brien girls.”

  They were just in time to be seated for dinner and enjoyed the meal and toasts and the first dance by the bride and groom. Then Kel danced with Janet and then everyone began dancing and as promised, there was the tango competition between Kel and Evan. He was an expert lead, Tara thought, as she followed Kel, but even though she was fairly accomplished at the tango, she couldn’t compete with the chemistry on the dance floor between Evan and Casey. Kel laughingly conceded and said he hoped it was the only competition he’d be admitting someone else won in the near future. Then Janet and Alan were off on their honeymoon in a white limo and the guests began to disperse. Even though it was chilly outside, Kel and Tara went for a walk in the moonlight. He stopped at the edge of the yard and pulled her close and held her. He didn’t kiss her, didn’t speak. Just held her close, so close that she could feel his heart beating. She put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder.

  “Tomorrow I’ll be back campaigning,” he said finally.

  “I know.”

  “You still don’t think we can make this work, do you?”

  She didn’t answer. If they could simply hide out in Newport on family estates, maybe they could. But that was unrealistic. They couldn’t exist that way either.

  “If I win this election,” he said, “I would like for you to be there for the inauguration. I won’t ask you to be there during the election. I won’t even call you. There won’t be a single day you won’t constantly be on my mind, but I’m giving you the space you seem to need. If you can’t commit to this relationship by the end of January, then I will let you go.”

  She lifted her head and looked up at him.

  “It will break my heart, though, and I’m not sure I’ll get over it this time.”

  He kissed her gently and then released her and disappeared into the house.

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Kel didn’t call her. Not once. But still the flowers came on a regular basis and he sent cards by mail once a week. Not having a job left her at odds with what to do and she just couldn’t make herself apply for another job in reporting. She no longer wanted to pursue a career in the field she had gotten her degree in and she spent time evaluating what else she might do instead.

  The press still camped out near her apartment and followed her everywhere, when she went to the grocery store, the mall, a museum at the Smithsonian, or out to dinner with Casey or Evan and Mary Katherine.

  The headlines were ridiculous. One stated that they were secretly engaged, another that she had developed an eating disorder, and still another that Kel was dating someone else, accompanied by a photograph of him hugging Molly, who of course was not identified. Tara tried not to look at the tabloids when she went out, but Casey collected every single one and came over and made her laugh over what might have simply made her angry if she read them alone. Casey had a way of reading the articles out loud that made them seem even more silly than they were. It helped to put the stories and the speculation over her private life into perspective.

  She watched the debates and followed his campaign on television. And mostly, she just plain missed Kel. She missed the phone calls, she missed seeing him in person and of course she missed the physical side of their relationship.

  On the eve of the election she went to dinner at Evan and Mary Katherine’s house. She had become such a fixture in their house that Socrates greeted her warmly when she arrived. Mary Katherine had a theory that Socrates really only liked people who cared about Evan. When Tara asked her how she could prove that theory she had replied that both the UPS man and her mother got growled at when they came to the door. Evan added that Socrates generally sat in front of Margaret the entire time she was there and growled every now and then. As the little dog sat in her lap and showered her with love, Tara laughed, not only at the scene she could easily picture, but at Mary Katherine for thinking that was funny. Evan was in charge of dinner and called them to the table with great ceremony. Tara had to admit that she was impressed; he had served filet mignon, a field greens salad and grilled vegetables.

  “It’s the only dinner he can actually cook,” Mary Katherine said.

  Evan ignored that remark and asked Tara if she planned to call Kel the next day. He and Mary Katherine planned to vote and then fly to Newport to wait for the results with the O’Briens. She also would be flying home to vote first thing in the morning.

  “No,” she said, sadly. “We agreed not to talk until January.”

  “January?” Mary Katherine asked.

  She nodded. “He said if I couldn’t commit to the relationship by the inauguration then it was over.”

  “Is that what you want?” Evan asked. “For it to be over?”

  “I love him Evan, I just don’t know if I want to be first lady.”

  Evan considered that and then asked gently, “Are you sure that’s why you can’t commit?”

  “I don’t care about the rest Evan. I’m not Alise.” Evan and Mary Katherine were both looking at her, and she knew they were trying to figure out what she was really thinking. “ I don’t know why this is so difficult. I feel as if I took the emphasis off the issues and what he stands for and I think I’m just a distraction for him.”

  Evan said, “I think for anyone to consider a lifetime with Kel would be just a little daunting. Hopefully tomorrow he will be elected President, but even if he isn’t he’s still Kelly O’Brien and I hate to tell you this, but he’ll still be very prominent. He was well known before he ever ran for office, for his previous career and because of who he is. If you choose to be with him, then you will always have a certain amount of media attention. Mary Katherine wasn’t quite famous when we met, but it wasn’t long after we were married that everyone knew who she was. Her status means that she is often gone for several weeks at time. That hasn’t always been easy for us. And there are some other issues, for both of us, that might have been a reason to throw in the towel and say it was too hard, but we haven’t done that. We decided to make it work. If you are really in love with Kel, that’s all you have to do. Decide to make it work.”

  “You make it sound so easy, Evan.”

  “It is that easy. Making it work isn’t always easy, but deciding to isn’t.” He leaned back in his chair. “ That being said, I know Kel well enough to know that if you decide later you can’t be there for the long haul, it’s going to be devastating to him. So please, don’t do things halfway. You have to be there forever, or you have to let go.”

  “That’s what he sa
id.”

  “Nobody’s judging you, Tara, and I know you’ve had a lot to deal with over the last few months.”

  Tara knew that Evan was trying to be helpful, but she also knew that Kel’s inner circle, Evan, Ross, John, Lily, and George and the rest of his family were deeply loyal to Kel and were all obviously wary about the possibility of anyone hurting him. She understood that feeling. She felt strongly protective of him as well. Once you have been privy to the more vulnerable side of Kelly O’Brien, that’s just how you responded to him.

  “For right now, Evan, I’m just going to see how things play out tomorrow night.”

  They changed the subject and she ended up leaving fairly early. She found it difficult to go to sleep, as she kept thinking about the pros and cons of a serious relationship-and even though they hadn’t actually ever discussed it-marriage to Kel. She had no doubt that he would always treat her with the utmost respect. She knew that he would always love her. Would he want more children? His own were grown, but she could not imagine a life without children of her own. He would always be twenty years older than she was, would that ever be a problem between them? She didn’t think so, but still, she didn’t know for certain. Everyone around him expressed their concerns about his health, but she had done her research about the possible long term effects of the disease, and she knew that she would be able to handle any problems associated with that, especially given Evan’s attention and expertise in the field. Still, like the rest of them, she found herself looking at him each time he was on television or in a photograph wondering if he was all right, if he looked too tired or sick. So yes, that would always be something to be conscious of, but not a reason to end the relationship.

  His children and other family members seemed more than willing to welcome her into their lives, so that wasn’t the problem either. Her own father had essentially said that he blessed the relationship, even though at first he had been so opposed to it.