Raw Deal (The Nighthawks MC Book 8)

by Bella Knight

  Damia did not want a meltdown to happen again. Grandfather Henry told her she felt overwhelmed, and to make the sign for it. To put her hands near her face, then up over her head. He said to do that when she began to feel ready to melt down, and they could all work together to stop it. So, the next time Grace started yelling, Damia made the sign, and Grace was quiet. Her face got very red and she clenched her hands and let them go, but she was quiet; so Damia felt peaceful. Mom took her outside to see the ponies go to sleep, and so the peaceful feeling stayed even longer.

  "You can come here when you feel overwhelmed," Mom signed and said. "Just take one of us with you."

  "Okay," signed Damia. She made the peaceful sign, then asked Mom if she could have a frozen banana.

  "Lucky for you," said Mom, "Mama got the recipe from Vi when we found out you liked them. We have two in the freezer."

  One night she was sitting on the stairs doing her hook rug when she saw and heard her mothers talking. "I think we're doing okay," said Mom. "Damia is doing really well, much better than I expected."

  "It's Henry," said Mama. "He's the autism whisperer. And the ponies. I swear, I will personally pay for pony rescues if it makes that girl that happy."

  "I don't know if happy is the right word. She likes feeling peaceful," said Mom. "She likes things safe and quiet, and warm. Not my style, but it works for her, and that makes me feel good."

  "We do not live on the quietest property. They've got fourteen --fourteen! Oh goodness, the size of the Wolfpack now, with those emergency boys, and Tam and Nico, and now us, and the Owl Pack. I'm surprised Henry hasn't lost his damn mind."

  "We're over the hill," said Mom, then laughed. "In more ways than one."

  Mama laughed. "Yes, some distance is good from that madhouse. And Vi cooks for them all, and Vu reads to them all. Those women deserve medals."

  Damia pulled up her little phone, and looked up "medal." She saw that people did them when they ran races or played soccer. She had not seen Vi or Vu play soccer or run races, but she did not see them that many times during the day, except when Mama took her to the pool for physical therapy. She decided to make two. But how?

  Later, she saw a tiny bike like Mama's on Grandfather Henry's desk. She asked where he got it. He said he bought it from Ghost. She made the sign for Halloween, and Grandfather Henry laughed. He explained that Ghost was the name of a person who made tiny Harleys. She asked if Ghost could make a medal, a pretty one like for the Olympics. Grandfather said yes, and said there were three colors at the Olympics; gold, silver and bronze. He showed her the colors, and she picked silver, and asked for two. He said he would make them up and put ribbons on them to hang around her neck.

  Damia said that she would like the ribbon very long, and Grandfather Henry said he would make it happen. So, she felt so peaceful that when one of the Wolfpack pushed her to get around her, she did not have a meltdown. Vi did; she told him that Damia did not like to be touched, and to apologize. He said that he was very rude and that he was very sorry. So, Damia had the word “rude,” and she used it to describe being touched. She let Mom brush her hair, or kiss the ends of her hair. Mama kissed the hair on the top of her head, but only very lightly. She called it a butterfly kiss. Damia wondered how butterflies kissed with no lips, but she did not ask.

  At the big house, after Henry had taught her how to use the tool of math to find out how much to feed a pony, Grandfather Henry said, "I have something for you." He showed her the medals. She took them carefully in her hands.

  She first went to Vu. She gave the other one back to Henry, who held onto it. She told Vu how Mom had said she deserved a medal for reading to everyone. Vu had a meltdown, but Henry explained that sometimes people cry when they are happy. Damia was scared that Vi would have a meltdown too, but she was curious, so she took the other medal from Grandfather Henry and went to the kitchen. Everyone followed that was in the room. Damia was surprised, but kept walking.

  She found Vi in the kitchen rolling dough with a rolling pin for a pie. Vi washed her hands, and asked if Damia was hungry. Vi understood sign language so well, and so Damia spoke much faster, and told her how Mom said she deserved a medal for feeding everyone all the time. She gave Vi the medal. Vi had a meltdown, but she signed that she was happy, and not to worry about her tears. She said it wasn't like Damia's meltdowns, that Vi could stop. Then Grandfather Henry passed around a box of tissues. Vi signed thank you, and kissed the tip of her ponytail. Then everyone had to kiss her ponytail, and she felt overwhelmed, and made the sign. Vi told everyone to shoo, which Damia knew meant “go away.”

  Vi said Damia was good at giving presents and at listening carefully, which were both effective things. Grandpa Henry explained that effective was doing something in the right way, that had the right result. Damia said she did not want the result of people having meltdowns. Vi explained that they were not meltdowns, but large amounts of happiness that sometimes came out the eyes. Damia was concerned that her happiness would come out her eyes too, but Grandpa Henry explained that her autism meant she was wired differently, and she would feel peaceful instead. He then sent her to the barn when her phone beeped, to take care of the ponies. Before she walked out the door, she looked back. Grandpa David hugged Grandpa Henry, and they both hugged Vi, and they all had happiness that came out their eyes.

  Damia was so confused that she told Inola the whole thing while currying Star. Inola asked her to wait one minute, and she called Grandpa Henry.

  She hung up, and said, "What you did made them all feel so happy and loved. Damia, I know you have autism, and it is tough to think about love. How do you feel about Star?"

  "She is a very good pony. She never complains, even if her hooves hurt. She is very gentle and kind."

  "No, how do you feel?"

  "I feel peaceful."

  "What if Star got sick and died? How would you feel?"

  Damia felt it, just for a moment. "I feel my stomach would be bad and tears would fall from my eyes."

  "That's sad," said Inola. "And if someone evil hurt this pony?"

  Damia felt her face flush and her hands clench. "I would push the bad person and stop them."

  "That's anger, and feeling protective. How do you feel about having Star here, and living on the same farm as Star, and being able to see her every day?"

  "Peaceful."

  "Do your lips go up when you think of her?"

  "Yes," said Damia.

  "That's love," Inola said. "Love means you would be sad if someone died or went away, and you would feel angry if someone hurt someone you loved. And, that good feeling in your stomach you get when you see Star, that's love, too. You're happy, Damia. You just have no idea how to express it with your face."

  Damia thought. "Like the butterflies?" Inola made the sign for confused. "Butterflies kiss, with no lips."

  Damia was afraid Inola would have a meltdown, but she did not cry. "Butterfly kisses. That means a very light kiss of love."

  "So, Mama loves me. And Mom loves me."

  "Yes," said Inola. "We all do. Your Mama and Mom love you the most, though. Like a thousand times more than you love this pony. They love you more than anyone has words for, in all the world."

  Damia thought about it. "I can't do it. That is too much love. My love is very small."

  "You have time for it to grow," said Inola.

  "It grows?" asked Damia.

  "Like a tree grows from a tiny seed, with rain and wind, and sun and the love of the Universe. Yes, it does grow."

  "Good," said Damia. "I didn't mean for the medals to cause a meltdown."

  Inola smiled. "They didn't. They felt that big love you feel as small love now. You... it was wonderful, what you did. I wish I'd thought of it."

  "Mom did," said Damia. "I just did what she said."

  Inola smiled a big smile. "I wish all little girls listened to their mothers as much as you," she said. "Now, let's walk this pony."

  Callie and Ivy heard the whole
story at dinner, it consisted of pulled pork sandwiches, rosemary potatoes, corn salad, and blackberry pie for dessert. They risked a meltdown, and had family supper every weekend. Vi and Vu both wore their medals proudly. Vi took hers off and passed it around the table. Both Ivy and Callie had to try not to cry. The medal was the Olympic rings on one side, all painted with different color enamel.

  Henry said, "I already ordered some for you."

  "This is incredible work," said Callie, when she got control of her voice. "This is truly magnificent."

  "I called and told her the whole thing," said Henry. "Ghost told Killa, who told Bonnie, who told all of the Soldier Pack. So, now, they all want to meet the girl with the huge heart."

  "A barbecue," said David. "A big one. With the Nighthawks. Need to get everyone introduced, anyway."

  "I'll marinate some chicken," said Vi.

  "Ribs," said Henry. "And a smoker."

  "Beef brisket," said Vi. "And tortillas, and some of my mango salsa."

  Ivy said to Callie, "Now we're going to be talking about food all night. I have food right in front of me, and I'm getting hungry."

  There was a loud cry from the "baby station," where Willow was playing with the babies, making them giggle. "Someone else is hungry," said Callie. "I'll get him." Sure enough, it was Aiden.

  "Never figured out how mamas know exactly which baby is hers," said Jake.

  "And each cry means something different --wet, mad, trying not to fall asleep," said Ivy. "And we're teaching them sign language. Apparently, babies can talk with their hands long before their mouths can make the right noises." She smiled at Damia. "And we have Vi and Damia to help us get the signs right."

  Damia nodded. "My brother and sister are small and weak and must be protected. Like the ponies. And loved."

  The table got deathly silent. Inola said, "We had a conversation about butterfly kisses and love for ponies."

  Ivy hummed Robert Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses.

  "That's country," said Inola. "You can't possibly know that song."

  Callie began singing, and Aiden changed his face so he was now smiling up at her in her arms. Ivy and Callie sang sweetly, in perfect harmony with one another. Inola's jaw dropped. Bella smiled. David and Henry held hands.

  When finished, Damia signed, "Happiness overflow?"

  Henry wiped tears from his eyes. "Yes."

  "Wow, our kid's vocabulary is awesome," said Callie. She grinned. "And don't bet against my wife. She's amazing."

  Ivy shook out her twisty hair, making her metal beads click together. "I am."

  "Eat," said Vi, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Food's getting cold." The medal made its way back to her. She kissed it, and put it on. "Damn kids, making you cry and all." Henry squeezed her hand, then everyone began eating their food again.

  Ivy and Callie got the babies in bed asleep, right on time. Damia avoided the nighttime halfhearted I-dont-want-to-go-to-sleep squalls by going into her room to read, or watch videos. It was Bao's time with the girls, and they were visiting Dragon Grandmother at the Chinese restaurant. Ivy made sure Damia had her bath, then read her a story. Ivy and Callie both kissed her hair, and they crept downstairs. The moms watched a silly movie and laughed until their cheeks ached.

  Ivy kissed Callie, and led her up to bed. As they were undressing, Ivy said, "I can't believe Damia did that. I didn't think she'd have that much self-possession, or that she overheard an offhand comment that you made. We have to be really careful about what we say, because she doesn't hear sarcasm or jokes. She's a straight shooter, that one."

  Callie said, "It's been a whole lot easier than I thought it would be." She put on her soft yoga pants, and a camisole, then zipped her bra into the net bag used for washing delicates. She dropped it in the dirty clothes hamper.

  Ivy snorted, making a three-pointer into the open hamper with her black jeans. "Easy? We moved a house from another state here, got everything up to code, then had to move out of the duplex we had just paid to make a triple-plex!"

  "I don't think triple-plex is a valid word," said Callie. She ducked as Ivy pitched her shirt, then her bra, into the hamper. "Okay, I'll stop correcting your grammar. Yes, the move was hard, right when we were making it ours, you know? But that girl, that girl is worth it. Despite the meltdowns..."

  "Only two. I'm stunned. Henry deserves a medal for teaching her to tell us when she's overwhelmed."

  "I agree," said Callie. "Can I say that I'm overwhelmed? New house, much farther away from work. I'm using the commute time to listen to lectures, listen to audiobooks, and dictate homework, but that's a lot of commuting. My credential is an emergency one, and I've still got to complete the real one. We now have five kids, and one lone boy surrounded by girls. He's going to be a mess."

  "Or gay," said Ivy. "Or a transvestite." She hummed the theme to Rocky Horror about a sweet transvestite while she changed into her own yoga pants. They were gray, with a soft mauve shirt that said, "Save a horse, ride a cowgirl" on it. "Or, he may just be in therapy for the rest of his life."

  "No more kids," said Callie. "Or, let's get some of them out of the house first."

  "No more turkey basters," said Ivy, making Callie laugh. Ivy grabbed her wife and kissed her. "We have actual time to ourselves."

  "We do," said Callie. "Then why did we get dressed?" Ivy laughed, and stripped them both.

  Callie attacked her, kissing her mouth, her neck, her shoulders. Ivy groaned. Callie pushed back her twisted hair, and licked and kissed and sucked her way up to her wife's ear, avoiding the silver rings in her ears. She nibbled her way all the way to one breast, then the other, making Ivy writhe.

  She slipped her fingers in, and Ivy roared in her ear. "Quiet," said Callie. "You'll wake up our twenty-seven children. And render me unable to hear for a week."

  "Did you just shush me?" asked Ivy.

  "I helpfully suggested..." She lost her voice as Ivy slid two fingers into Callie. "Don't stop," she said. Ivy laughed into her mouth. They made each other come, again and again, and they screamed into their kisses.

  Finally, they laid there, draped over each other, spent. "We really should take a shower. We smell like sex," said Ivy.

  "Ugh," said Callie. Ivy dragged Callie out of bed and in the shower, and they both sleepwalked through it.

  They both quick-dried their bodies and hair, put on lotion, found the clothes they had worn for two minutes, and fell into bed, draped over each other.

  After dinner, Callie left the little ones to be fussed over, and went to where Nantan and Chayton were sitting, holding hands, by the fire. Nico and Tam were out of earshot in the corner of the room, playing a cutthroat game of Stratego with the two new boys, Nick and Josh. All four of them were laughing and drinking cocoa. They pulled up chairs and sat, holding hands.

  "Nantan," said Bella, her smile wide, her eyes lit from within.

  "You have decided if you want a baby with me as the father," said Nantan.

  "Yes," said Bella. "And we love our little one. And don't want to rush too much, but..."

  "We want a baby with you as the father," said Inola. "This is a very difficult thing, but we're family already. We both do things here that make us very happy, and we don't seem to be separating anytime soon."

  Nantan shuddered. "Don't even think that."

  Chayton laughed, and kissed Nantan. "What he said. We wish to be fathers, and you wish to be mothers to another child. What can be better?"

  "Summer pregnancies, when you're fat in million-degree weather. That would suck," said Bella. "So..."

  "And she's ovulating," said Inola, in a rush.

  Chayton's eyes widened. "I'll get the turkey baster," he said. They all laughed.

  Nantan and Chayton slipped upstairs, and went into the shower attached to Inola and Bella’s room. "What should we do?" asked Nantan.

  Chayton opened the medicine cabinet, and found the little rubber cup and the needleless plunger. "We have the tools. Let's..." He whispered into
Nantan's ear.

  Chayton put the tools down on the little glass holder the ladies used for their toothbrushes, and Nantan reached out, stroked Chayton's back, pulled him closer. They kissed for a long moment.

  "Let's get this done," whispered Chayton, stroking the side of Nantan's neck with his teeth. "The ladies are waiting."

  He pulled off Nantan's shirt, and unbuttoned his jeans. Nantan slid out of his jeans and boxers, letting them pool to the floor. Chayton kissed him lower, flicking a tongue over each of Nantan's nipples, then kissed and flicked his way down Nantan's stomach. Nantan groaned when Chayton took Nantan's balls in his hand gently. He squeezed and rubbed with a finger and thumb. His erection made him groan. Chayton kissed and nipped his way lower, and barely had time to lick and suck on Nantan until Nantan groaned and threw his head back. Chayton reached up, grabbed the rubber cup, and took his mouth off his man. Nantan came in great shuddering gasps. Chayton took the cup, sucked the contents into the plunger, and put them back on the little shelf.

  "I did say you could do what you wanted," said Chayton, wiping off his man's penis with a wet cloth.

  "I was imagining it the whole time," said Nantan. "We'll have to get into the pool from the outside."

  "Oh," said Chayton, and kissed Nantan. "Shall we take the ladies' spiral stairs?" Nantan stepped back into his boxers and jeans, and pulled them on. "I’m commando," said Chayton. Nantan laughed, and put on his shirt.

  Chayton texted Bella, and they went out the spiral staircase on the ladies' balcony and snuck around the house. They entered the greenhouse, dropped the privacy shade on the glass wall, stripped, and went skinny-dipping in the pool. They laughed like little boys, exploring each other’s bodies, doing laps. They put on swim trunks and laid in the water, staring up at the stars through the greenhouse glass.

  Inola knocked on the door, and Nantan said, "Come in!" She brought a tray of drinks and little snacks. "I hate to get silly, but Vi taught Damia how to make pigs in a blanket. We have mustard and barbecue sauce to dip them in, and sodas." Chayton got out and helped her slide the tray onto a little wooden table by the side of the pool. "Good, you're dressed. You're about to be invaded by a herd of boys; Tam, Nico, and the two new ones, Nick and Josh."