Whisper Forever

by C. A. Harms

  We’d experimented with some webcam sex, but it was never enough. It actually just made wanting her that much worse. Oh, watching the way she’d touch herself just as I directed was hot, but I wanted to be the one touching her. I wanted her screaming my name as her body trembled beneath mine. Friday couldn’t get here soon enough in my eyes. I wanted to show her the campus and the city, but more than anything, I wanted to lock her away inside my condo and make up for all the nights I’d missed.

  Putting on a happy face each time we talked was hard. I loved my job and the city, but missing her outweighed that. No matter how hard I pushed myself forward, I always felt her absence, and it hit me hard.

  I had to make the best of our current situation, though, but that didn’t mean while she was here I couldn’t try to convince her that this was where she needed to be. I was playing a dirty game, but hey, I wasn’t above doing whatever it took to get my girl where she needed to be.

  Now the trick was getting through this last five days without losing my shit and driving three and a half hours to pick her up myself. The only thing stopping me was the fact our first game of the season was Thursday. The hype around campus was enormous. We were playing the Maryland Terrapins, and our guys we on a mission. Their goal was to be undefeated this year, and with the team we had, I wouldn’t be surprised if they succeeded.

  I pulled into my parking spot at the stadium. Yeah, I had my own damn spot right up in front. I smiled as I thought about how great this school and their board treated me. I felt like a damn legend here, even though I was far from it. In their eyes, though, I had a whole hell of a lot to bring to the table, and I won’t lie, it felt pretty damn good to be looked at like that.

  Each time I stepped out on the field, that familiar rush ran through me and I closed my eyes, giving silent thanks to Madelyn and her selflessness. Without her, this chance would have been given to someone else. Hell, it almost was.

  Still, that didn’t make the fact she and I were so far apart any easier to accept.

  As I walked toward the field, a couple of players hollered out a greeting. Coach Rivers had a nice ring to it.

  “Rivers,” the head coach, Ivan Wilks, called out as he approached me. He stepped up at my side and slapped my good shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You ready for Thursday?”

  “I’m ready,” I assured him. “More importantly, our guys are ready.”

  “That they are, son, but I still think we need to run through the plays,” he said, removing his hand and slapping at the binder he held.

  “Never can hurt,” I agreed as we moved toward the men on the field.

  For the next few hours, the players hustled, pushing themselves to the limit. Not only did they pull off each play, they mastered them. I had full confidence in this group, and by the end of the night, some of that ache inside me eased up a bit.

  Coach Wilks invited me out for drinks after, and before I knew it, it was near eleven o’clock. I panicked as I realized I’d missed my scheduled nine-thirty call with Maddy.

  Once I was inside my truck, I hit the Phone icon on my dash and dialed Madelyn’s number.

  “Hello,” she answered, sounding groggy.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I lost track of time.”

  “It’s okay,” she assured me. “I get it, Luke. Really, it’s fine.”

  But it wasn’t fine. We barely got to talk as it was, and most nights when I did call, it was just so we could crawl into bed with our laptops and fall asleep facing one another, to feel closer together despite the miles that separated us. When morning came, we’d talk while getting ready for the day and share a goodbye, followed by a few I love yous, and then we were off again.

  I talked to her all the way back to my place, telling her about the team and the upcoming game. I could tell she was exhausted, but she tried her best to stay alert. By the time I made it home, she was softly snoring. I sat in my truck, not wanting to end the call just yet as I listened to her breathe. It was the first night since I’d left that she and I didn’t fall asleep on Skype so we could wake up next to each other the next morning—at least next to each other on our laptop screens.

  I think that’s why I felt so off today. Being unable to hear about her day yesterday or fall asleep and then wake up with her this morning gave me a sense that I’d forgotten something all morning and for half the afternoon. I sat in my truck just outside the stadium looking through the pictures on my phone and torturing myself. The ones of her and me together were the hardest to look at. Some were of us lying in bed, where she’d grab my phone or hers to snap a picture. Sometimes I’d lean in to kiss her as I took the photo myself.

  I switched over to the text message program and typed out a message, hoping she’d be able to read it now.

  Me: I missed your beautiful face this morning. Any chance I can see it now?

  I waited with my phone in my hand like some lovesick fool, willing it to chime with a return text message but really wanting to see her sweet smile instead.

  A rush of excitement hit me when the screen showed an incoming Skype call. I hit the icon to answer it.

  “Hey, baby,” I said as I looked at the screen. Seeing her face was exactly what I needed then, even though she was at the diner, so I knew this would be short.

  “Hi, handsome,” she said with a smile. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you last night.”

  “No problem. It was late.”

  “So there’s a chance I may be able to leave earlier on Friday,” she said and I grinned in excitement. “Dad told me that he didn’t need me at the farm, and all I have is one exam that morning.”

  “Is it weird that right now I wanna hug your dad?”

  She laughed, and the sound lifted the fog that had hovered over me all day.

  “I’m gonna go over tonight and talk to him. Something’s up; he and Ma have been acting weird all week.” She looked to her left and told someone she’d be right there. “Listen, Luke, I gotta get back out there. It’s fried chicken day, and you know how these people get.”

  “Yeah,” I replied with a laugh. “I’ll call you tonight; our regular time.”

  “Definitely, I’ll be waiting.” She blew me a kiss. “Love you.”

  “I love you,” I said just before she ended the call.

  I felt better from then on out. Seems all I needed was a little one-on-one with my girl.

  Chapter 34

  MADELYN

  I knew something was up when I pulled into my parents’ driveway. Beside my daddy’s truck sat an older Ford, the bed filled with bundles of hay and what looked like tools. I walked up the drive and peeked over the bedside to find shovels and hoes. Had one of farmers nearby stopped in to chat with Daddy, or maybe to try to sell him some hay?

  Laughter spilled from the barn as my dad and a younger man came out. I’d seen the guy before, maybe around town or at the diner, but I didn’t know his name.

  “Oh good.” My father turned toward me, holding out his hand. “Madelyn, just in time.”

  “In time for what?” I looked between him and the guy, knowing I probably wasn’t gonna like what Daddy was about to say.

  “Meet Matthew Bowman”—he pointed to the guy—”my new farmhand.”

  “Matt,” the man corrected as he held out his hand. Only I didn’t shake it, which probably came across as rude. I just couldn’t get past the bomb my father had just dropped on me.

  “Your new what?” I asked, thinking I had to have heard him wrong. “It sounded like you said he now works for you here on the farm.”

  “I did,” my dad said with a smile. “Just hired him last night, and he started today.”

  I stood with my feet planted firmly in the gravel of the driveway, staring between them like they’d lost their ever-loving minds. I’d been my father’s right-hand man since I was old enough to lift a shovel. Now he was replacing me?

  “No need to get all worked up, darlin’,” he added, which only infuriated me more.

  “Why?”
I asked, wondering why in the hell he’d done this without even talking to me first, especially when I saw him daily.

  “Could you excuse me and my daughter, please?” My father watched me but spoke to Matt. “You can start on the back stall and move toward the front.”

  “Yes, sir,” Matt said before lifting his shovel from the bed of his truck and heading toward the barn.

  “What is this all about?” I asked before Matt was even inside. “I don’t understand.”

  “Let’s talk a ride.” My father pointed toward the four-wheelers next to the barn.

  “I don’t wanna take a ride,” I told him, but he walked over to them anyway. I stood watching him with my arms crossed over my chest as he climbed up on the first four-wheeler and twisted the keys. He revved it and looked back over his shoulder, offering me a smile before he took off, kicking up dirt behind him.

  If I wanted answers, I’d have to follow behind him on this crazy adventure.

  The moment I hopped on my own ATV and took off, I couldn’t help but remember the day Luke followed behind me, trying to keep up. Going through the same field, and jumping the same hills, intensified my feelings of missing him.

  As I caught up to my father, he veered off to the left and rounded the lake, where he finally slowed to a stop near the tree Lucas and I often referred to as ours. As I pulled up next to him, he turned off the engine and stared out over the water.

  Nothing about this felt right, and suddenly I wondered if something was wrong with him or Momma and they hadn’t told me.

  “I know that part of what’s holding you back is this place.” My stomach felt like it dropped to my feet as he spoke. “That boy loves you, Madelyn, and you belong with him.”

  “Daddy—”

  He kept on as if he hadn’t heard me. “I saw how happy you were when Lucas was here, the way you lit up whenever he’d show up here unannounced.” He looked at me as if daring me to deny it. When I said nothing he continued. “Now that he’s gone, you move through the day because you have to, but there’s nothing happy about you. I’d be a shitty-ass father if I sat back and allowed my little girl to live every day like that.”

  “I’m happy,” I assured him and he chuckled.

  “Oh sweetheart, you may be able to fool some, but you can’t fool me.” He leaned over and rested his arms on the tank of the ATV. “Austin’s less than four hours away, darlin’. It ain’t halfway across the world. You need to be with that boy. The diner will be fine; the farm will be fine.” He looked over at me, offering me a kind smile. “Now all you have left to do is transfer to the University of Texas.”

  I took a deep breath as I looked around the open land before me. This was the place I called home and I knew it always would be. I thought I’d be here forever, but my father was right; my heart was empty without Luke.

  “Do you think he’d still want me to come to Austin?” I asked with a smile.

  “Boy would be a fool if he didn’t,” he said without hesitation, “but I can assure you he does.”

  ***

  Keeping this quiet for the last few days almost killed me. I’d sworn the Rivers family to secrecy and conned Liam into helping me pack. He did it with a smile, knowing he was giving Lucas something he wanted. He told me over and over again throughout the process how he wished he could see Luke’s face when I pulled up with a truck full of my things. I packed only my personal belongings and donated what little furniture I did have to a young couple my mother knew who were just starting out.

  Saying goodbye to my parents and to Shannon was hard. I knew I’d see them again and I’d talk to them regularly, but it wouldn’t be the same as living here. Keeping in mind what I was gaining in this move helped me get through the three and a half hour drive to Austin.

  Transferring midsemester would put me behind a bit, and I’d lose some credits because some of my classes weren’t transferrable. But I’d be able to finish some of them online, and once the next semester started, I’d just double up my class load. I knew the extra work would be worth it, because every night I’d have Lucas holding me tight.

  I turned down Carver Lane and slowed as I looked at the house numbers until I found Luke’s. His truck was in his driveway, the big bulky thing standing out from all the smaller ones around him. I turned into his drive and placed my truck in Park just as he stepped outside. He was dressed in what looked like sweats and a Texas Longhorns polo. I had timed my trip perfectly so I’d arrive before he had to leave for practice. It’s a wonder he didn’t catch on to my plan after all the questions about his schedule I’d asked him repeatedly over the last few days. The excited look on his face when he saw my truck was the best part.

  I climbed out and he jogged across the front lawn and embraced me. “Damn, I’ve missed you,” he said, hugging me tightly. “You don’t understand how hard these last two weeks have been.”

  “I think I do,” I told him as he leaned back and kissed me. “I’ve missed you too,” I whispered against his lips.

  He pulled me near again and held me so tight I felt like he was cutting off my air supply. Then he eased up but continued to hold my body to his.

  “Madelyn, why is your truck full of boxes?”

  I wanted to laugh, but I held it in, hoping he would figure it out.

  “And why are there bags of clothes in your front seat?” he added.

  I snickered as he leaned back and gave me the most confused look I’d ever seen on him. I shrugged. “I thought I’d stay awhile.”

  “Are you serious right now?” he asked, looking over my shoulder toward my truck. “Because if you’re joking, that’s just cruel.”

  “Not joking,” I assured him.

  He griped my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. When he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against mine, we remained like that for a few moments. “Are you really staying?” he asked in a raspy voice.

  I nodded and he kissed me once more.

  “If you try to leave, I’ll take the tires off your truck.” His statement made me laugh. “No joke, sweetheart. I will drain your gas tank, remove your wheels, and hide your battery.”

  I tucked my head against his chest and held him tight. “I’m staying, Luke,” I assured him. “All my things are piled in my truck as proof.”

  “The farm?” he asked. “The diner and school?”

  “All handled,” I told him, and he smiled.

  “I can’t believe this. I feel like I’m dreaming,” he said, still holding me close as if scared to let me go. “You’re really moving in with me?”

  “I’m moving in,” I told him. “Are you sure you’re ready to share your home with me?”

  “It wasn’t a home, Maddy,” he said. “But it is now.”

  His lips covered mine as his hand slipped around the back of my neck, holding me close. “You’re home to me, baby, forever,” he said, keeping his lips near mine. “Can we get these boxes later?”

  “I thought you had practice,” I said, knowing full well what he was hoping for.

  “Yeah, I gotta be there in an hour,” he said as he backed us up toward the condo. “It’s less than ten minutes to the field. So that give us plenty of time to celebrate.”

  Chapter 35

  LUCAS

  “Oh, right there, it hurts but it also feels good,” I directed my newfound therapist. “You know what would make this session even better?”

  “What’s that?” she asked as she lifted my arm higher, pushing me a little farther than she had the last session.

  “You, wearing nothing but the sexy little number you wore that first night we had dirty time online.” I waggled my eyebrows at Madelyn when she gave me the look she always did when she thought I was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t completely hide the smile pulling at her lips. “Or you could just skip the outfit and go completely naked. It would save me the time of taking it off.”

  “Focus,” she said, using her take-no-bullshit voice. But she couldn’t fool me. She
loved when I teased her.

  “I’m focusing, sweetheart,” I assured her. “Right now in my mind, I’ve already got you on your back panting for more.”

  She rolled her eyes and moved around me as she continued working my shoulder.

  It had been six weeks since Madelyn showed up with a truckload of her things. Six weeks of complete happiness now that I had my girl here with me where she belonged. I won’t lie and say it’s been all sunshine and roses, because Madelyn is a stubborn shit when she wants to be. She’d locked me out of the bedroom a time or two, and sometimes refused to snuggle with me in the morning just because I pissed her off somehow. It was her newfound way of paying me back and showing me that she had a type of control, but I was persistent. Sometimes that only enhanced her anger, but a fired-up Madelyn was a sexy sight. In the end, she’d cave and I’d get my girl back in my arms where I needed her.

  Living together was an adjustment, but we were learning, and the road was an adventure.

  She came to most practices and watched from the stands. Sometimes she’d bring her laptop or a book to read during the times the guys would run or workout. The men learned to expect my girl. She’d cheer them on at the games and cheer me on too. She was still my biggest fan, even if I wasn’t the one out there scoring the points myself.

  At night, we’d cook together, or order in and watch movies on the couch or sometimes in bed. I’d fall asleep with her in my arms, and in the morning I’d wake to her gorgeous smile. In my eyes, life couldn’t get any better than this.

  Well maybe there was one thing, but I was going to rectify that soon.

  ***

  Madelyn climbed onto the four-wheeler behind me, even though she’d fought me on who would drive. But I needed to be in control today, and she’d just have to let go of her need to be the one behind the wheel. Besides, she couldn’t drive blindfolded, and I refused to remove it.

  We’d been in Alvord for two days now, visiting on an extended weekend. I’d planned the whole thing out, and everyone but her knew what was about to take place. I’d spent a few weeks organizing this with my brother and even Shannon and Jeb. They’d all made this possible, and now we were on a sunset ride toward our favorite spot, which had been turned into the perfect setting.