Goal Keeper_A Pearson Players novel

by Sarah Nego

  Seventeen

  Ryan

  Saturday

  I pushed out the door of the fine arts building and tried to hold in a yawn. Three hours in the darkroom had taken their toll, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, and I was definitely a beggar when it came to scheduling time to develop my photographs.

  It would have been easier if I’d shot everything with my digital camera. It wasn’t a high-end model, but it took decent pictures. Except I didn’t want to take decent pictures. I wanted to take photographs that made me stop and see the beauty in the mundane parts of our world. If I closed my eyes and let my imagination take over, I pictured my photographs staring back at me from sleek frames hung on white gallery walls. I created the mental image of people stepping back to take in the full picture and then leaning in close to study the tiny details that made my photographs more than a snapshot. I was never able to get those tiny details with a digital camera.

  Plus there was something pure about studying the contact sheet and seeing what I’d shot for the first time in a physical form and not just on a screen. Adjusting the contrast of an image using software on my computer was fine for the paper, but it didn’t replace holding a dodging tool in my hand to highlight a tiny detail that most people would overlook.

  The university darkroom smelled like the wet cardboard of Dektol, the vinegar of the stop bath, and unbridled creativity.

  It was a big deal for me to be able to use the photography department facilities. Usually only majors or those taking classes could get in there. Luckily for me, Dr. Rankin was head of the department and the faculty adviser for the paper. We had an agreement that as long as I provided pictures to the paper, I could use the darkroom. The only caveat being I had to take whatever time slots were left after the enrolled students picked their schedule. When combined with my full class load and soccer practices, late Saturday night was one of the only time slots left.

  Usually, spending time in the dark closet of a room with only partially developed images to keep me company left me with more energy, but not this time. Our game that morning had been a ball buster ending in a tie. It hadn’t helped at all that Vanessa was there watching the whole game with an angry scowl on her face. Or that Luci was definitely not there.

  Not that her being there would have been a good idea. Clearly she was a distraction, and I’d really needed focus. But I still wanted to see her, which might have made me the most pathetic guy on the planet, pining after a girl who clearly wanted nothing to do with me and that I had no business being with.

  I hefted my bag onto my shoulder and headed down the steps toward the parking lot. This late at night, my GTO was the only car there. My steps echoed through the empty lot, making the walk to my car more ominous than it should have been.

  Down the street, parties at the frat houses were still in full swing, lights blaring in every window. Scooter and Crash would be there somewhere, getting drunk and looking for a hookup. It was where I should have been. A meaningless hookup could be exactly what I needed to get Luci Ryder out of my head. I stopped and turned toward the row of parties. I could’ve thrown my bag in my car and headed there right then. It was late, but those parties would still go for another couple of hours at least.

  I shook my head and kept walking to my orange baby. Kissing someone else might get Luci out of my head, but the sad reality was that I wasn’t willing to shake her loose yet. I didn’t think too hard about what kind of ass that made me.

  A frustrated yell rang out across the parking lot as I got to my car. Some girl wearing a short, shimmery skirt and three-inch heels was glaring down at another girl who was sitting on the dirty concrete. The girl in the skirt threw her hands up in the air and turned away from her friend.

  Fuck me. Luci stood on the sidewalk, her hands threaded through her long brown hair and pulling her tank top up to show a hint of her toned stomach. Dammit. Luci was the kind of hot that weak men like me couldn’t ignore. I’d gotten a glance of her body when we stripped down to get in the river, but that had been shapes and shadows. This was long, toned legs and strong, sexy shoulders. Perfectly sized breasts crested at the top of her tank, and the ass I’d touched for the briefest moments pressed against her tight skirt. All I wanted to do was pull her against me and let my hands explore every inch of her.

  If I was a smart man, I would have gotten in my car and driven home. I am not a smart man. Instead, I jogged over to where Luci was failing at getting her friend to stand back up.

  “Am I late for the drunk-girls-are-us meeting?”

  Luci spun around to face me, her eyes going wide as she realized who I was.

  “Ha!” Her friend pointed up at me and let out a very drunk laugh. “He’s funny. Isn’t he funny, Luci?”

  “Yeah, Luci. Aren’t I funny?” I gave her my best charming smile, but Luci was having none of it.

  “Not really,” she said, tugging on her friend’s arm.

  “And cute!” her friend shouted, her voice echoing down the road. “Like super cute. What’s your name, cowboy?”

  Luci’s face turned three shades of red. The coloring on her cheeks made her look adorable and sexy at the same time. I wanted to taste the hot skin of her neck, but that was a want that would get me into a lot of trouble. I crouched down so I was eye level with Luci’s very drunk friend and held out my hand.

  “I’m Ryan. What’s your name?”

  “Erin.” Instead of shaking my hand, she slapped it a high five and then leaned back like she was getting comfortable. “Ryan? Why is that name ringing…”

  Her eyes went wide, and her mouth made a little O like a cartoon character. She glanced between me and Luci, and I could practically see the synapses in her brain making the connection. “You’re the Ryan that kissed Luci last week and has her staring off into space smiling when she doesn’t think I notice.” She leaned over toward me, a conspiratorial smile on her face. “I notice.”

  “Shut up, Erin,” Luci hissed, her face turning another impossible shade of red.

  Well shit. Luci still thought about that kiss. My cock gave a little twitch at the thought of Luci lying awake in her bed at night touching herself while she remembered my lips on hers.

  “Let’s get you home before you decide to let loose with anything else I told you in confidence and asked you not to tell anyone.” Luci’s practically growled the words from between clenched teeth.

  “I’m so tired.” Erin lay all the way down, her blond hair splayed out around her so she looked like a drunk angel. “I’ll sleep here.”

  Luci let out a frustrated sigh. She wasn’t going to make any progress convincing Erin to move, and in those shoes, there was no way Luci could carry her friend.

  “How much did she have to drink?”

  Luci looked past me at the sidewalk. “More than she should have.”

  “And you?” It didn’t matter really, but I greedily wanted Luci’s blushes to be all about me and not the result of a few beers.

  “Nothing,” she said, shrugging and still not meeting my eyes.

  Perfect. I threaded an arm behind Erin’s knees and another behind her shoulder and hefted her up into my arms.

  Erin curled up and rested her head on my chest. “This is good, too.”

  Luci’s eyes flared with something that could have been jealousy before she schooled her face back into neutral. “You don’t have to carry her. I’m sure I can get her—”

  “Luci, just tell me where she lives.”

  She bit at her lip and glanced toward the frat houses before facing back up the street. If I hadn’t been holding her almost-passed-out roommate in my arms, I would have bit that lip for her and then eased the sting with my tongue until Luci begged me to kiss her again.

  “We live in Donner Hall.”

  I nodded and headed in the direction of Donner. It wasn’t far. “So, you live in the honors dorm?”

  “Yes.”

  Her one word answer made it clear she didn’t want to discuss where she live
d or her participation in the honors program. That was okay. Knowing the attraction I felt for Luci wasn’t one sided, I was willing to collect these little snippets of information until I knew everything there was to know about her

  I walked the three blocks to Donner in silence, slowing my pace so Luci could keep up in the heels she clearly wasn’t comfortable in.

  During the whole walk there, Luci’s body kept curving toward mine until she noticed and took a deliberate step away from me. We walked with a deliberate chunk of night air between us, but half a block later, her shoulders were almost grazing mine. Her body reacted to mine like waves rolling under the directional pull of the moon. I grinned silently as she took another stuttering step away from me. She could resist it all she wanted, but that wouldn’t stop it.

  She let us into the dorm and held the door open so I could navigate inside without banging Erin’s head against the doorframe.

  “Please tell me you’re on the first floor.” Erin wasn’t really heavy, but I wasn’t looking forward to carrying her up four flights of stairs. Donner was one of the oldest buildings on campus and still didn’t have elevators.

  Luci let the door close behind us and moved around me to the staircase. “Second.”

  At the top of the stairs, Luci pushed through the fire door and stopped in front of one of the identical doors on the hall. She turned her body away from me and fished a key out of her bra. Jesus, this girl was killing me. I had her barely dressed roommate in my arms and nothing. Luci pulled a key out of her shirt, revealing absolutely no extra skin, and I had a sudden need to adjust the front of my jeans.

  She unlocked the door without looking at me and walked inside, flipping on the light.

  Luci pointed to an unmade bed pushed into the far corner of the room. “You can put her there.”

  I set Erin down on the bed, and she immediately curled up into a ball and rolled over. When I turned around, Luci was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, staring at everything in the tiny space except me. Damn this girl. Smart, sexy, good at soccer, super sweet, and one hell of a kisser. Luci was a complication I didn’t need, but I couldn’t shake the want.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  Luci’s head jerked in my direction, her mouth pulled down into a frown. “No.”

  I took a hesitant step forward and relaxed a tiny bit when Luci didn’t take a corresponding step backward. “Then why have you been avoiding looking at me or talking to me for the past twenty minutes?”

  “I just…” She glanced away again, and her shoulders sagged. “It’s easier this way.”

  I groaned and took another tiny step to close the distance between us. “Are you about to give me the it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech?”

  Luci briefly met my gaze before dropping her eyes to the floor and biting her lip. “It’s not either of us, but whatever you think this is … isn’t.”

  “Whatever I think this is?” I took a final step toward her so that barely an inch was left between us. Luci didn’t pull away. Instead her body pulsed toward me, like our gravitational bodies were calling to each other. I lifted my hand and let it graze down the tanned skin of her bare arm. Goosebumps erupted on her skin, and a shiver ran through her body. I loved the way even a tiny touch from me affected her so much.

  “Ryan.” Her voice was plaintive like she was about to ask me to stop. But her body didn’t get the message. Luci leaned into me, her face finally turning toward mine so I could look into her eyes.

  A war raged behind the gaze of this beautiful brown-eyed girl. Inside those windows to Luci’s heart, I saw her desire for me. She didn’t hate me. Far from it, if I was reading her right. But the hesitation was there in the crinkled corners of her eyes and the way she bit her lip.

  A good guy would walk away and make this easy on her. A better man than me would tell her he understood that her sad sack of a captain would make her life miserable if anything happened between us, and he would bow out, wishing her happiness. I sucked at being that guy.

  My fingers itched to touch her again, and my desire became stronger than my restraint. I gently tucked her hair behind her shoulder and let my fingertips graze along her neck.

  Luci made a delicious noise like a kitten purring, and all I ever wanted to do was hear it again. I ran my hand up to her jaw and traced my thumb along the delicate curve of her chin. Her eyes closed, and her head dipped into my palm; that was all the permission I needed.

  My other hand found a home on her waist and pulled her into me, closing the tiny gap that had held us apart. Luci exhaled, and there was that purr again that left me feeling like I’d been named to first team All-Conference. I ran my thumb along her bottom lip, and Luci’s mouth parted slightly. I needed to taste her again and didn’t have the self-control to stop—consequences be damned.

  I lifted Luci’s chin and dipped my head, my lips brushing against hers.

  “Oh god.”

  Luci jerked away from me just in time to make room for Erin who bolted out the door, her hand covering her mouth. Luci’s fingertips brushed against her lips where my mouth had been only seconds earlier as she stared after her friend.

  I reached toward Luci, desperate to go back to the moment where I was about to kiss her. “Luci?”

  Her head whipped toward me, but she stared at my chin, once again avoiding my eyes. “I need to go check on her. Close the door on your way out.”

  She was out the door and disappearing down the hall before I could even try to say anything.

  And what would I say? I know kissing me would make your life super complicated, but I really want you to do it anyway.

  I ran my hands through my hair and blew out a breath. And getting involved with Luci, or anyone, was the last thing I needed after finally ending things with Vanessa. I should be taking time to make up for all those years spent being whoever my ex wanted me to be.

  But knowing what a bad idea it was and actually walking away were two entirely different things. And that interrupted moment between us proved to me that Luci was in the exact same boat I was, and I had to convince her to row with me.

  Eighteen

  Luci

  Tuesday

  Spanish

  European History

  Practice

  Outline persuasive speech

  Review Art chapter 6

  Pearson was a big enough school that it was pretty easy to avoid someone you didn’t want to see. But there was no way I could keep from running into Ryan when we were in the same class. I walked into the lecture hall and scanned the chairs. Most of them were filled. My fault since I’d taken the long route to get to class so I wouldn’t have to pass the parking lot where Ryan’s car would be, which was dumb since I’d have to face him eventually.

  Like right then. He gave a half wave from his spot near the back of the hall and patted the desk next to him. My belly flopped over at his welcoming grin. He didn’t look at all like the awkward mess I’d been since our almost kiss Saturday night. If he could rise above it, then so could I. I returned a small smile and made my way to the desk next to him.

  “Good morning, Lucinda.”

  He flashed me another smile, and my knees shook before I could sit down. Dammit. His smiles were definitely more potent at close range. I’d have to remember that if I was going to survive sitting next to Ryan VanKamp for the rest of the semester.

  I sucked in a deep breath and tried to look normal while I pulled out my book. “Lucinda?”

  Ryan shrugged and laid an arm across the back of my chair. I sat up straighter so I wouldn’t touch him. Saturday night proved to me that I was incapable of coherent thought when he touched me.

  “It’s Spanish class, right? I thought it worked.”

  Professor Ramirez walked into the room, and I thanked the stars above. Anything to end this conversation. The more I talked to Ryan, the more I wanted to say screw it, climb onto his lap, and let him kiss me like he was about to Saturday. Like I was going to let him until Erin pull
ed me out of my little fantasy where Ryan and I could be together and live to talk about it.

  “All right, class.” Ramirez pulled a stack of papers from his briefcase and started handing them to the front row. “I’m passing out the instructions for your first group project.”

  Ryan removed his arm from the back of my chair and then nudged me with his elbow. I gave him a tight-lipped smile before returning my attention to the front of the room.

  “You’re free to work in groups of two or three to complete this assignment. It will be due next Tuesday at the start of class. I know that’s not a lot of time, so I’m going to give you a few minutes now to find your partners and make plans for when you can get to work.”

  The girl in front of me passed back a stack of papers, and I took one before passing the rest to the guy behind me. I quickly scanned the paper and groaned. All the instructions were in Spanish.

  “What are you waiting for, people?” Professor Ramirez clapped a few times to get everyone’s attention. "I can only dedicate ten minutes to this before I get on with the rest of my plans for today.”

  Ryan scooted his desk closer to mine, and the hair on the back of my neck lifted. Damnit. How the hell was I supposed to get any work done with him lighting every nerve in my body on fire with his presence?

  “When are you free for our hot study date, Lucinda?”

  “It’s not a date,” I spit out so fast I gave myself whiplash.

  Ryan chuckled. “Of course not. So when are you available to work on our project that absolutely won’t be a date?”

  I swallowed and focused on keeping my breaths steady and even. I could do this. It was just a group project. “I’ve got a game tomorrow. How about Thursday after practice?”

  Ryan frowned. “No good. I’ve got a game Thursday night. What are you doing Friday after practice?”

  I blew out a solid breath. Why did this have to sound so much like making plans for a date? “I can do Friday. Let’s say seven in the library study rooms.”