Breathless (Yoga in the City Book 1)

by Leigh LaValle

  “There are other fish in the sea, girlfriend.” Crystal patted my knee.

  “Time heals all wounds.” Annette swept the takeout boxes into a paper bag.

  “And everything happens for a reason.” Jennifer’s tone was laced with sarcasm.

  “Seriously, is this a platitude intervention? I’m going to need those pot brownies if you ladies don’t quit it.”

  “When one door closes, another one opens.” Annette smirked. I threw a pillow at her. But I was laughing.

  I scanned the list again. “You’re right, I need to do something fun. Seems that drinking is a theme here.”

  “The hair of the dog that bit you.”

  “That doesn’t make sense, Crystal. Hannah isn’t hung over.”

  “Drunk on looooove,” Crystal replied.

  “I have to say that makes a weird kind of sense. But don’t think I’m up for meeting new guys yet.”

  Annette pouted. “Fine. It’s your night.”

  “How about the ’80s makeover. I could use a change about now.”

  Crystal pumped her hand in the air. “Yes! We are so on.”

  Jennifer sat up. “Okay, Hannah, you go take a shower. Crystal and I will get everything from the car. And Annette will pour the drinks.”

  “Wine or margaritas?” Annette asked.

  As if there was a choice. “’80s makeovers need margaritas.”

  I was already feeling better as I got in the shower. Someone turned on music, and Madonna blared through the house.

  “You need anything?” Jennifer called into the bathroom.

  “All good.”

  I shampooed my hair twice, as if I could wash away the sadness and pain. Bubbles circled down the drain. He loved me. He really did. But that article was his final good-bye. I had to let go.

  “For your face,” Crystal said and thrust a fancy facial scrub in the shower.

  “You guys are really bossy, you know.” But they were making me happy for the first time all week.

  “Wow, it’s steamy in here,” Annette said a few moments later. It was like they were in cahoots not to leave me alone for more than one hundred seconds at any time. “I brought a loofah.”

  I stuck my hand out of the shower and accepted her offering.

  Thirty minutes later, I was washed, scrubbed, exfoliated, and feeling somewhat new again. A festive margarita glass awaited me on the shelf by the sink. Someone had written “C’est la vie” in the steam on the mirror.

  I dried off, took a healthy sip of my margarita, and put on my bathrobe. Then I crept into my bedroom, wondering what fate awaited me.

  Madonna sang loudly, and the girls danced around my bedroom. Maybe they had started drinking before they came over. Annette grabbed my hands and pulled me around the room, twisting and twirling me. All this was fun, but I needed more tequila if I was going to dance.

  I slipped out of her grasp and sat on the bed.

  “Hair and makeup time!” Jennifer shouted over Madonna.

  Thankfully, Crystal turned down the music. She had changed into a hot-pink leotard, cut high at the legs, and shiny turquoise leggings.

  “Very Jane Fonda.” I nodded. “I suppose you just had this in the back of your closet?”

  She pretended to scowl. “Don’t scoff. Just wait until you see your outfit.”

  “This may require tequila shots.”

  Annette picked up my drink and walked over to my kitchen chair, which was now in front of my mirror but facing away. “Sit.”

  “Is that hairspray?” I asked, peering at the array of beauty products and tools on the bench beneath my window.

  “But of course.”

  “You’re going to sit here and drink and let us do the rest.” Crystal pushed me down into the chair and thrust my drink in my hand.

  “Am I the only one getting made up?”

  “You wish.” Annette winked at me.

  They took turns blow-drying and spraying my hair and doing my makeup and God knew what else. Jennifer brought in another kitchen chair, and they did each other’s hair and makeup as well.

  “If I look anything like you guys, I’m a sight to behold.”

  “Wait, don’t move.” Crystal brushed eyeshadow up to my eyebrows, and the girls snickered.

  “What are you doing?” I tried to turn and glance in the mirror, but they held my shoulders and wouldn’t let me look. “At least let me have some junk food while I wait. This is a breakup party after all.”

  “I saw a bag of Doritos in your pantry. I’m dying for some of that nacho goodness.”

  I glanced over at Jennifer. “Really? You?”

  She shrugged. “Who doesn’t love Doritos?”

  “Grab anything and everything that entices you. You’ll find some cut-up veggies and hummus as well.” I wasn’t going to hide myself from them anymore. If they were my friends, they would accept me as I was. I was too tired to keep pretending to be someone else. Jennifer and Annette bounced out of the room, ready to raid my junk closet.

  “I loved your post on the Top Ten Reasons to Do Yoga,” Crystal muttered around the makeup brush in her mouth. “It was shared something like two hundred times.”

  “Crazy, isn’t it? Don’t you think that’s enough blush?”

  “It’s the ’80s.”

  A few minutes later, Annette dumped an armful of snacks on my bed. “Hannah has kale and coca cola in her fridge. What are you two talking about?”

  “Hannah’s last Facebook post. Who has a phone?”

  Jennifer pulled her phone out of her pocket as she walked into my bedroom. “I thought it was her best yet.”

  Top Ten Reason you—Yes YOU!—Can Do Yoga

  You can breathe

  You have a body

  You have a nervous system

  You have 5 pairs of yoga pants in your closet

  You are young/middle age/old/alive

  You can/cannot touch your toes

  You are a human/cat/dog/bird/dolphin/elephant

  You have a chatter-brain like everyone else

  You are a size 0-100

  You are missed in class

  I squirmed in my seat. I’d never heard my own words read out loud. I didn’t think I liked

  it.

  “That’s awesome, Hannah. We should print it out for the studio. Maybe use it for Yoga

  Week flyers next year.”

  “Ugh.” I took a big gulp of margarita. “Can we have a break from talking about Yoga

  Week? I’m so glad it’s over.”

  “I know what you mean.” Jennifer inspected the pile of chemically enhanced food on my bed.

  “I was so freaked out by it,” I said. “It was great promo, sure, and it helped us, but it didn’t save the studio. Only we can do that.”

  “We are doing that. Attendance is trending up again. Cheers to us.” Annette lifted her glass, and we all followed.

  I took a big sip of frosty margarita. “I’m just glad that I found what I want to teach and how I want to teach it, and now my students can find me.”

  Crystal pouted. “Aw, you’re going to make me cry.”

  Jennifer waved her hands. “Don’t cry! You’ll ruin your mascara.”

  Finally, after my second margarita when I was feeling extra relaxed, the ladies let me turn around.

  I recoiled in horror.

  Was that even me? What had they done?

  I was going to go right back into the shower.

  What was that… I leaned forward. “Is that a fake mole?”

  “Just like our girl Madonna.”

  “Where did you get these earrings?”

  “The thrift store.”

  “You guys…” I shook my head. Then I looked at them, at their hair and makeup and clothes, and I realized they were doing this for me. They loved me. “We’re family now.”

  Jennifer smiled. “The Four Directions.”

  I rolled my eyes. But that warmth spread out from my chest again. “I’ll take east. To new beginning
s.”

  I held up my glass. “To the Four Directions. And new beginnings. And the best friends a girl could ask for.

  Chapter 46

  Jake

  Waves of heat danced across the sidewalk. I stepped into the shade, out of the relentless sunshine. I’d forgotten how hot it was in Boulder in the summer. Last year, I’d been in Russia. South America the summer before that. Now, I just wanted to be home.

  I tapped my foot on the pavement, my eyes peeled for Hannah. I hadn’t called her yet. I wanted to tell her in person.

  God, I hoped she would be happy.

  Problem was, I didn’t know where to find her. She wasn’t at home, and she didn’t have a yoga class until tomorrow. My only hope was that she’d be in Crystal’s class.

  I checked my watch and blew out a breath. 10:15. Figured Crystal would end her class late.

  Finally, the door opened and women streamed out. But no Hannah. I made myself pace to the corner and back before I stormed into the studio. Empty except for Crystal.

  “Where is she?” I demanded.

  Crystal looked up from the computer, then returned her attention to the screen.

  “Hi, Jake. Nice to see you. I wondered if you were going to stop pacing and come in.”

  “Nice to see you too, Crystal. Where’s Hannah? I need to talk to her.”

  She tapped away on the keyboard like she had all the time in the world. I wanted to punch the computer screen.

  “What’s the hurry?” She didn’t even look at me.

  “I…” I had no answer. The hurry was that I was a jumble of raw nerves, and I wouldn’t feel better until I saw Hannah.

  When I didn’t answer, Crystal turned off the computer and looked at me. “Everything all right?”

  “Yeah. Fine.”

  “You came back early.”

  “I did.”

  “Did you hurt your knee?”

  “No.”

  “So, what then?”

  “Can’t you just tell me—” She cut me off with raised brows. So, this was how she would play it. Gatekeeper to Hannah’s heart. Fair enough. “I love her. I came back to tell her that.”

  Damn. That sounded lame.

  “You flew home from Alaska three months early to tell Hannah that you love her?”

  “Three and a half months early. But, yes.” All this sounded so much better on the airplane.

  “And?”

  “And I want to be with her.”

  “And?”

  And, what? “And she is special. And beautiful. And unique.”

  Crystal shook her head. “Not good enough. Besides, special and unique mean the same thing.”

  I jammed my hands into my hair. Only I’d buzzed it all off. My beard too. “I want to beg for her forgiveness. Okay?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “What did you do that needs forgiving?”

  “I left?”

  “Was that a crime?”

  “Seriously, Crystal, just tell me—”

  Crystal came out from behind the counter. “What do you want from her, Jake? She’s worked hard to move on. You told her not to wait for you, and she hasn’t.”

  “You mean…is she…” I swallowed. “Is she seeing someone else?”

  “Maybe.”

  I grabbed my chest. I was going to have a heart attack.

  “She deserves someone who can be there for her, Jake. Someone who wants to share his life with her.”

  “I agree. I want those things too.”

  “You do?”

  “I do.”

  She bit her lip and considered me. The she picked up her phone.

  “Don’t ignore me, Crystal. Please.”

  “I’m not. I’m checking my texts. I’ve forgotten what Hannah is…okay, yup. She sent me a check-in an hour ago. From a trailhead. I’m supposed to be her safe person in case she never returns.”

  “What the hell trail is she on?” I barked. Thoughts of cliffs and water crossings made my blood run cold.

  “I don’t think it’s too dangerous, but the last time she was up there, she hurt herself.”

  “Where?” I demanded. I was going to rip that phone out of Crystal’s hands.

  “Hold your horses there, cowboy. It says here the trailhead is at Hidden Lake. Last time she was up there, she sprained her ankle.”

  I shook my head, grinning. “Now that’s irony for you.”

  “I call it karma,” Crystal called after me as I hightailed it out the door.

  Chapter 47

  Hannah

  Yellow and purple wildflowers dotted the valley floor, and a creek babbled nearby. The woods were so beautiful, my heart hurt. Or maybe that was just memories. I was on the trail where I first met Jake, because I tortured myself like that.

  Jake. Where was he now? Was he safe? Did he miss me?

  I plodded down the trail and let the tears come. I hadn’t let myself cry over him much, but this forest, it was made for my tears.

  Quick footfalls sounded behind me, and I edged to the side of the trail so the jogger could pass. But the footsteps slowed. It was daytime, and the trail wasn’t exactly empty, but the hairs rose on the back of my neck. Was someone following me? Were they going to hit me on the head from behind and drag my body into the woods?

  I whipped around and froze.

  Oh, good God—

  I came face-to-face with six plus feet of muscled sexiness and a pair of warm brown eyes.

  Standing about ten feet away, the handsome man held up his hands in the universal sign of peace. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  I stood frozen. Three things occurred to me at the same time. One, I hadn’t shaved my legs in weeks. Two, my face must be splotchy and swollen from crying. And three, he was here.

  He was really here.

  I brushed tears from my cheeks, my heart rising and rising in my chest. “You came back.”

  “Crystal told me where to find you.” He wasn’t even out of breath, and we were miles and miles from the parking lot.

  “You were just going to run the whole trail?”

  “Something like that. I saw your car.”

  I nodded. I couldn’t feel my feet. I plopped down on a rock beside the trail. “You came back,” I said again, dazed.

  He stepped toward me, his arms outstretched. Then he stopped himself. “I…” He laughed. It was a happy sound. Free. His eyes were bright. His face was freshly shaved and tanned and relaxed. He laughed again.

  “Hannah.” He stepped forward, and this time, he did reach out and trace my jaw. “Hannah,” he said again, like my name explained everything.

  Shaking. I was shaking. But the good kind of shaking, the dancing-the-tango kind. The hot and sweaty and swinging and swirling and swooping kind that felt like happiness.

  Hope was bright in my heart. He’d come for me. “What about Alaska? Your trip?”

  “I went. I came back.”

  “That was fast.”

  “I didn’t stay.” He sat down on the log beside me. The sides of our bodies pressed together, and I leaned into him.

  Oh God, touching him. It was heaven.

  I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the rush of happiness wanting to crash over me.

  He brushed tears from my cheek and turned my face toward him. I opened my eyes. “I’m done with the expedition.”

  He smiled, and happiness shone in his face.

  He brushed his thumb over my lower lip. “I got there and realized it was all wrong. I was…it was like a penance, the trip. Like I had to prove something, or fight something. And suddenly, that something was gone. And all that was left was you. And wanting to be with you.”

  “You don’t have to stop because of me. I’ll wait.” My voice quivered.

  He shook his head. “I don’t want to wait. You’re everything I need, right here. More than the mountains. More than the whole journey. It’s you, Hannah. I only want you.”

  Joy shook through me, and he leaned forward and planted a kiss on my li
ps. So gentle. Endlessly gentle. And full of love.

  “What about, you know, the past.” I swallowed. Say his name. “What about Cody?”

  He pounded his heart with his fist. “Cody is here. But so are you. And I have room enough for both of you.”

  I tilted my head and pressed my forehead against his.

  “I love you,” he whispered. “I’m not letting you go again. Ever.”

  Joy greater than any I’d ever known took flight in my heart. I wrapped my arms around him. “I can’t believe you came back.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “Aren’t you supposed to say you love me too?” He was joking, but I could hear the note of vulnerability in his voice.

  “Of course I still love you. You must know that.” But he didn’t say anything. There was a nakedness in his eyes, a vulnerability. I kissed his lips. “I love you so much, Jake Marshall. I love your smile, and your stubbornness, and your muscles.” I squeezed his biceps, and he grinned that cocky grin. “Most of all, I love you. All of you.”

  He smashed me up against him. “I needed to hear that.”

  I sighed out a deep breath. “I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been trying to convince myself I can get over you, even when I knew it was hopeless.”

  He pulled me onto his lap and growled into the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder. “There’s only one way I want you over me. On top of me. In bed.”

  I laughed and straddled him. “I can get on board with that.”

  “I’m going to keep you in my bed for days.”

  “Hmm… What’s your plan after that, Mr. Full of Surprises?”

  “Tell Brian I’m home. Get back on the Carter project. Go visit Mrs. O’Donnell and tell her I got my head out of my ass. I was thinking you and I could do a trip together at the end of the summer. Go backpacking in Utah, maybe.”

  I pulled a face. “What kind of backpacking are we talking about?”

  He winked. “I’ll carry all the weight. And no more than fifteen miles a day.”

  “Fifteen! Five.”

  “Ten.” He squeezed my sides playfully, and I jumped.

  “Eight.”

  “All right. No more than eight miles a day.”

  “And you have to play Mr. Shirtless Mountain Man for me.”