Black Flag (Racing on the Edge)

by Stahl, Shey

Around the time I took over the points battle in Charlotte, Bobby, Tate and me decided on some good healthy competition throwing back beers that night. We wouldn’t shave until the championship was over. Since I hadn’t shaved a week prior to that, I had a good three month growth now. I didn’t think Sway wanted to marry a logger today so I went ahead and shaved.

  It took us a good couple hours to get going that morning and to find Lane. We eventually found him sleeping in the kitchen pantry with a box of Captain Crunch.

  I’m not sure whose idea it was to leave a three-year old alone with us last night but it sure wasn’t a good one. For one, judging by his moody demeanor, he clearly didn’t get enough sleep. But the worst part was his hair.

  For the past year, Lane has asked Alley for a Mohawk. When Spencer got drunk and shaved his usual wavy mess of black hair into a Travis Barker Mohawk, well Lane was slightly irritated that his dad was allowed to and he couldn’t. So you put a group of six guys alone with a 3-year old begging you for a Mohawk, what do you think we did?

  “Nice hair Lane.”

  “It pretty awesome,” He nodded once we were in the car. He ran his hand over the spikes grinning. “I thinking mama will lovd it.”

  “You mean love it.”

  “Tats what I said.”

  “No you said lovd. By the way, that has an “H” in it.”

  He rolled his eyes and took my coffee from me. “Gimme that.”

  “I think you’re a little young for coffee.” I took back my cup.

  Another eye roll and a sigh, “If I havt to be with you all day. I need it more than you.”

  By now, all the guys were in the car and looking at Lane and me with a curious expression. Spencer noticed his son’s hair and glanced at me. “Alley is going to kill me.”

  “No shi...shoot.” I corrected. Lane ignored us all together as he became engrossed in his dirt bike magazine.

  The wedding was being held at the Kiana Lodge in Poulsbo, Washington. It was secluded and exactly what we needed to keep the media and fans away. It was a beautiful place as my parents actually renewed their wedding vows here when we were younger which was how Emma got the idea to have the wedding here.

  The grounds were layered with beautiful flowers, trees and wildlife but you couldn’t see any of that today with the snow.

  Emma had gone with the theme she thought appropriate for Sway...a fairytale...it was perfect.

  When we left Elma, it had just started to snow. When we pulled up to the lodge, the grounds were covered around three inches of snow. We drove Sway’s Expedition and I’ll admit, we spent more time testing out the 4-wheel drive then we actually did driving.

  I’m like any other man out there—give me a snowy day and I wanna play.

  “What the fuck is that?” Spencer asked pointing at the princess carriage parked out front when we pulled into the drive.

  Aiden and Justin laughed in the backseat.

  “I didn’t think she was serious about that shit.” I grumbled. “Apparently, we are supposed to leave in that.”

  “Hah!” Spencer snorted. “Good luck with this snow.”

  “Don’t even think about going up there,” Alley told us when we walked into the lodge. “Emma will kill you.”

  “Nice to see you, too, Alley,” I retorted leaning against the wooden banister. “Did you give her the note?”

  Spencer headed straight toward her to pull her into a bear hug and a kiss with Lane on his back.

  “Yes, she said to give you this,” she handed me an envelope wiggling away from Spencer and then straightening her dress. Her eyes narrowed at her son and then Spencer. “I’m not going to freak out. I’m not.” She told herself forcing a smile. “Lane honey, you will be growing your hair out.”

  “But mama, it look awesome!”

  There wasn’t much she could say to him with the excitement he put forth at his hairdo. In turn, she smiled and then punched Spencer. “You’re an idiot.”

  “I’ll bet you I’m allowed—” Aiden smiled oblivious to Spencer and Alley arguing beside us. He started toward the stairs before my mom jumped in, holding an arm full of flowers.

  “No men in there.” she said firmly pushing against his chest as he grinned at her. “Besides, I have things for you to do. We have to finish setting-up outside. I’ll show you how this goes, and you boys can take over.”

  Spencer and I both groaned. “Didn’t Emma hire people to do this shit?” I asked tucking the envelope away.

  “Certain things yes, but not the decorating. Emma wasn’t about to trust that to anyone.” My mom smiled and shook her head slightly, as though she knew Emma was just being controlling.

  “Besides, just because you’re a NASCAR Champion doesn’t make you too good to help, Jameson.”

  Spencer and Aiden burst out laughing that my four foot eleven mother just put me in my place. I hung my head in shame, indubitably pouting for affect.

  “Besides, it will keep all of you out of trouble,” Alley added smugly heading back upstairs with Lane in her arms.

  “All right, mom...” I turned toward her. “What do you need us to do?”

  “Follow me boys.”

  An hour later, I felt like those camels in the desert transporting shit. The only difference was I wasn’t in some third world country and I wasn’t carrying anybody but I was sweating.

  We did have to stop and have a snowball fight but that didn’t last long before dad was yelling at us to act like adults.

  Once mom was finished using us as her bitches, I made my way to where I was supposed to be getting dressed upstairs. I was tempted to sneak a peek inside Sway’s room but in fear of Emma chopping off my dick, I steered clear.

  Instead, I found myself reading Sway’s note.

  Tucked inside the envelope was a picture of me inside my sprint car at Elma when I was around fifteen maybe sixteen with Sway sitting on the rear tire checking tire pressures. On the back of the picture, written in what looked to be eyeliner was:

  Here’s to a lifetime of making sure you have the correct tire pressure.

  I burst into laughter at the little stick figures she then drew underneath humping. We were the perfect match.

  I had just gotten my tuxedo on when Spencer and Tommy came barreling into the room, Spencer’s tie in his hand and his shirt unbuttoned half way, wrinkled. Tommy was all dressed but looked like shit. He’d spent most of the drive up here puking out the window. Might have had something to do with my driving but that’s beside the point.

  “Sway and I just rewrote her vows.” Spencer said slurring his words.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked tucking in my shirt as I glared in his direction.

  Tommy rushed toward the bathroom with a pale face holding his hand to his mouth.

  “They were good,” he sat down on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “but they weren’t great. I helped spice them up a bit.”

  “Are you drunk already? You stink like tequila.”

  “No, no, I’m fine. I just had a little shot.” He told me waving his arm around. “I’m nervous...are you?”

  “I’m nervous you’re going to embarrass me somehow.”

  He threw his head back in laughter. “As you should be little brother,” and then he let out a booming laugh that made me cringe.

  “Great,” I said with the same excitement that I exuded after finding out about my date night with Dana. “Why are you nervous?”

  “I don’t know...it’s a big day.” He leaned forward to peer around the corner toward the bathroom at Tommy. “Do you think he’s gonna make it?”

  “Probably,” Ripping my tie away, I tried to tie it again. “Hell, I don’t know.”

  I thought back to his words, “It’s a big day.”

  It was a big day. Finally, today, Sway Reins would be mine.

  As egotistical as that sounded, I still loved the sound of it.

  Thinking back to when I first met her. All those years I’d convinced myself
my attraction toward her was purely physical, avoiding the real underlying feeling. From the time I first laid eyes on those beautiful green eyes of hers, I’d fallen. I didn’t know it but I had. Looking back, I could pin point the warning signs now. When we were thirteen other boys started becoming interested in her; that pissed me off to no end because she was mine. That was just the beginning of my possessive tendencies toward her. I basically chased away any guy that showed interest in her in fear she’d chose them over me, telling myself she deserved better. All those years of pushing her away, convinced I wasn’t good for her and neither was anyone else, look who she chose in the end.

  Before long, Tommy was out of the bathroom and lying on the floor when mom made her way inside the room to make sure we were ready.

  “Oh my,” she gasped at Tommy’s appearance. “What happened?”

  “He drank too much.” Spencer said with a yawn.

  “Oh.” She checked Tommy’s forehead. “Let’s get you boys ready.”

  It was though she thought we couldn’t do it ourselves. But when we looked at Tommy, we probably didn’t look too capable.

  “There you go.” mom said fussing over my tie, ensuring it laid the proper way under my collar and waistcoat. I was more than capable of tying a tie myself, but it made her feel good to fuss over me, so I let her continue. She took my jacket from where it was lying over the back of a chair and held it for me to slip my arms into.

  When I had it on, she reached for the boutonniere of white freesia blossoms and pinned it carefully to my lapel. “Perfect,” she smiled, stepping back to admire her handiwork. “You look so handsome.”

  “Positively dreamy,” Spencer said sarcastically from where he lounged on the leather sofa, his own tuxedo jacket tossed over a plump cushion. “I can hardly control myself.”

  “Oh you behave shitdick,” she said kicking him, and turned back to me, still beaming. “Are you ready?”

  Spencer, Tommy, and I all gawked at her wide-eyed for using that word.

  “What?” her cheeks flushed as she began to fidget. “Sway said it to Aiden this morning. I thought it was catchy and decided to use it.”

  “Mother,” Spencer scolded shaking his head at her as we all broke into laughter.

  “Are you ready?” she finally asked when she caught her breath, clutching her side.

  “Absolutely,” I replied, without hesitation, still chuckling to myself that my sweet mother called my brother a shitdick.

  I knew they were all expecting me to exhibit some sign of nervousness, but to even my own surprise, I felt one hundred percent calm. Even when I had started to hear guests arriving about fifteen minutes ago, it still hadn’t changed. I’ve waited a long time to make this woman my wife.

  I simply felt, innately, that this marriage was absolutely the right thing to do. I couldn’t wait for the ceremony to begin.

  We were in the small room, where we would wait until it was time for us to make our appearance before the guests. There was a short rap at the door, and I knew it was my dad with Reverend Campbell and Lane. He had just arrived, and would be performing the ceremony for us today.

  “Hello, Jameson,” the Reverend smiled at me as they stepped into the room, reaching to shake my hand. “How are you doing son?”

  “Very well, thank you,” I replied. “Thank you so much once again for doing this for us.”

  “Wouldn’t have missed it. Congrats on the championship.” he replied sincerely. “You ran a great season.” He turned his smile to mom and Spencer. “Doesn’t this family look wonderful? Mrs. Riley, your dress is stunning.” His eyes narrowed at Spencer, as I’m sure he was remembering the skinny dipping instance with his daughter when we were kids. “Spencer,” He said curtly.

  Spencer just nodded in his direction, avoiding eye contact with him.

  “Thank you very much, Reverend Campbell,” mom said, still beaming like the proud mother. “This is a very special day for these two. Thank you for being part of it.”

  “My pleasure,” He smiled. “When will we know when to go out to start?”

  “Spencer will go check with Emma and Alley in a moment,” dad told him stepping inside the room with Lane on his back.

  “Fuck it, let’s go now,” Spencer was on his feet in an instant, shrugging into his jacket. He let mom straighten his tie and his lapels, then came over to pat me on the back affectionately while she turned her attention to Lane. “This is it, last chance to make a run for it,” Spencer teased.

  “I think I’ll stay,” I replied, still grinning. You couldn’t wipe the grin from my face today.

  “Thought so...see you out there bro,”

  Although I had seen it earlier, now, with the guests in place I was stunned by the extent to which Emma had outdone herself again. The room was, draped tastefully in flowing bolts of white silk and organza, white ribbon and flowers everywhere, like a fairytale. The whiteness outside made the room seem light and airy.

  Dozens of smiling faces turned toward us as our waiting friends and family looked to see us proceed up the aisle to the white bower at the front, under which we would stand for the ceremony.

  There were a few seemingly long moments after I took my place at the front under the bower, and turned to face the congregation as I waited. Spencer, Aiden and Tommy, still pale faced and Justin stood beside me.

  Tyler, Bobby, Tate and other various team members were sitting a few rows back handing money back and forth, and I assumed placing bets on something I didn’t want to know.

  Lane was the ring bearer and spent most of the time walking down the aisle trying to stay away from the flower girl who tried to kiss him every five minutes. He was not amused by this.

  Alley walked down the aisle first, followed by Emma, Andrea and Mallory taking their places.

  In fear of my safety, I chose Spencer as my best man. I wasn’t sure what he’d do to me if I hadn’t chose him.

  The music changed to Wagner’s familiar march. The guests stood, and my breath caught in my throat. I had to remind myself to breath in and out. This is where the panic set it. Not in the way you’d think though, panic that she’d change her mind.

  To my frustration, my view of where Sway and Charlie would first appear was obscured when everyone stood, so it seemed to take much longer than it should for them to arrive.

  Then...she was there. My bride.

  All that fear and panic melted away when emotion welled up in my throat and I gave up trying to breathe normally. Momentarily shocked into complete immobility at the sight of her, she was stunning.

  Her long, dark hair had been artfully, pinned up with a few odd curls hanging down. Her white strapless silk gown was cut low enough to be sexy, but high enough to remain modest. It fit snugly over her breasts and then spilling out into a wide skirt, with a train down the back that followed along behind her on the floor. Although she was eight months pregnant, you couldn’t tell by looking at her now.

  It was perfect. It was exactly the dress I envisioned her wearing.

  Both Sway and Charlie looked nervous, both probably concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. Charlie’s eyes were red and glossy—Sway looking at her feet.

  Eventually she looked up, her eyes darted back and forth uncertainly at first, searching, but after a few steps up the aisle, her gaze caught mine and our eyes locked on one another. When she broke into a beautiful, wide smile, I felt my whole body relax.

  I chuckled to myself when Sway winked at me.

  In another moment, she was beside me, and Charlie took her right hand from his arm to place it in mine.

  “Take care of her.” He whispered in words meant only for me.

  I nodded to him before he took his seat. I wanted to tell him I would, but I couldn’t form the words.

  Sway clutched my hand tightly, eagerly, lacing her warm fingers through mine. She gave them a squeeze as if to reassure me that everything was right in the world, and I squeezed back. I well knew it—everything was perfect
. I thought about when I asked her to marry me and how nervous I’d been. That didn’t even compare to this.

  The ceremony itself was a traditional one, but not lengthy.

  Emma had pretty much forced Sway and I to write our own vows, the problem was Aiden and I were drunk when I finished mine last night and now, as I looked down at my hand that I wrote them on, none of it made any fucking sense, not to mention they were smeared from my sweating.

  “Shit...” I muttered obtaining a few laughs from Aiden and Spencer who stood beside me.

  Sway smiled letting out a soft giggle, she knew right then what I had done.

  Wing it. I told myself and went for it.

  I reached for her hand. “Sway Marie Reins...you are my flywheel. You are what keeps my...camshaft rotating.” Another giggle from Sway, I smiled down at her. “You keep everything in my life, turning steadily. You connect the missing pieces of my life together. I promise to always be there for you, no matter what happens. I promise that if you’re sad, I will make you laugh. I promise that you’ll never walk alone; I’ll stand by your side. Through the brightest days and the darkest nights, I give you my heart and I give you my soul.”

  I exhaled the breath I’d been holding when I finished. I smiled to myself that I delivered the perfect vows she deserved with the right amount of aplomb for not having anything to go by.

  Sway of course was crying by that point and it took every ounce of self-control I had not to break down in front of everyone as well.

  She smiled through her tears as she began her vows. “Our lives are all about choices, it’s about making our own happy ending. With you, I’ve done that.” Sway looked down at her vows and then shot a glare toward Spencer who was laughing, crumpled up the paper and threw it at him. She then turned toward me again. “Jameson Anthony Riley, I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. You’ve been by my side since I was eleven, always supportive and never judging. I promise to tell you when you’re being an ass. I promise to be your flywheel and make sure your camshaft turns steadily.” She giggled. “Together we will walk as one. Together our darkest nights will become our brightest days, I give you my heart and I give you my soul.”