Secrets and Lace (Lonely Lace #2)

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Ronan turned and pushed his horse into Revenge’s space. “The hell I can’t. She’s my sister and you’ve done nothing but put her in harm’s way since you returned. I’ll get my family back, Robbie, and I’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish that.”

  “I don’t have time to talk this out. Call me after you’re done up here. I’ll be at Lonely Rivers.” Robbie turned from Ronan. He and Amelia jostled down the mountainside, ignoring the other man repeatedly calling his name. Amelia and only Amelia took precedence at the moment. Ronan’s voice faded as Robbie pulled further away. He’d be damned before he’d let the James’s control him in any way.

  He’d never forgive Ronan, if the wasted minutes in the woods arguing over who was better for Amelia were the ones that took her life.

  ~~~

  Getting Amelia home and into the house aged him. He’d never been so afraid, so terrified, so… he didn’t have a damn word for how he felt. But once at the house, he helped her in the door. Okay, he more or less carried her up the steps and into her bedroom where he tucked her into bed, turning her heating blanket on.

  Returning to the barn, he gave Revenge a quick rub down and placed him in his stall with food and water. He turned at the sound of the door clicking shut.

  Wary, Robbie exited Revenge’s stall quietly, closing the door and moving to stand at a more neutral position beside the door. He nodded at Amelia’s brother. “Ronan. I thought you were going with the men to face Caracus’s gang?”

  “Yeah, my guys are handling it. Let’s just say, their resumes are more than just ranch-handing. I can’t get involved with that shit on a personal basis.” He shrugged, like he wasn’t just talking about the men who had stolen his sister. “It might sound cold, but I need to protect certain assets.” He pointed at Robbie with his hat. “Assets like my sister.”

  “Your sister is an asset? What’s her value?” Robbie lifted his eyebrows. Oh, if only Amelia could hear the crap coming out Ronan’s mouth.

  Ronan’s face darkened. “Don’t be a prick, Robbie. You’ve done enough to damage this family, leaving scars that—”

  “Don’t talk to me of damage or scars, Ronan. You might find out the difference in strength between those who do desk jobs and those who do ranch hand work.” Robbie growled, thrusting his finger to point at the ground.

  Ronan’s gaze flew to the long jagged scar arcing like pale lightning down Robbie’s cheek. A spark of something Robbie didn’t recognize glinted in Ronan’s eyes. “You shouldn’t have rushed me back then, man. I was trying to help you.”

  “You pushed me away when you could’ve helped me with your sister… your parents.” Robbie shook his head the smallest amount. “You didn’t have to cut me.”

  Ronan glared. “I had my own shit pile to deal with. You rushed me, you damned well deserved the knife to the face. You don’t mess with a James, boy. End of story.” He slammed his Stetson back onto his head. “Where the hell is my sister? I’m taking her home.”

  “No. You’re not.” Robbie didn’t even move into a fighting stance. Usually preparing for a battle tipped off the opponent about the person’s intentions. Robbie didn’t need to give Ronan any more advantages than the injuries already crippling Robbie at the moment.

  Recognizing Robbie’s tone, Ronan relaxed, he opened up his arms, a hand splayed to either side. He smiled, slick and smooth. “Hey, we’ll let her decide when she wakes up. Why don’t we discuss Bethany and my proposal? I can leave tonight. I have a few business meetings in town I can make into a late dinner.”

  “I don’t know, Ronan. The last thing I need right now is more trouble.” Or drama. He’d had more than he could handle. “I really just want to go back to ranching, leave the crap at the door.”

  Ronan moved closer. “You really should’ve thought of that, MacAllister, before your debts followed you to Lonely Rivers and kidnapped my sister. What if that had been the boy? They beat up your brother… do you think they had nicer intentions with Amelia? I suggest you take care of the problem… and now.”

  His point slammed home. Robbie understood that Amelia wouldn’t be in her condition, if he had managed his problems before coming home, but it really connected that she suffered solely because of him. For no other reason. Just him.

  He met Ronan’s gaze unflinchingly. “You’re right. Okay, set it up. Don’t be there. I’ll show up with wine and take it from there. Do you have anything you’re trying to sell right now?”

  “Some tack. Why? You lookin’ to buy?” Ronan asked, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops of his well-stacked jeans.

  “No. I need a reason to stop by. I’ll be in the barn. Honk your horn when you get back so I can make sure we’re in a compromising situation.” Robbie turned away. With that much money on the line, he’d do the job – if only to protect Amelia and Mac. And shit, Slate. And he’d never gamble again.

  Chapter 13

  The pain hit her at the same time the heat did. Stabbing knives covered her body, taking her breath away as the numbness disappeared. She cried out, unable to stop the sobs as her body begged for relief.

  “Here, drink this.” Robbie hovered over her, holding something to her lips. She couldn’t fight him. The pain crippled her. And then he poured something into her mouth that felt like fire, but like a warm fire, more like how fire looks than feels. As she swallowed, the effects of the brandy spread, reaching her fingertips and toes, seeming to push the pain back just enough she could breathe again. Just enough she could manage it without losing her sanity.

  Fighting the sudden weariness that seeped so far into her, even deeper than the cold, Amelia blinked up at Robbie. She swallowed again, trying to get her throat into a manageable state. “Where’s Mac?” The croak that came out of her mouth horrified her, but it was the best effort she could give.

  Robbie brushed hair from her forehead, tucking blankets tighter around her shoulders. “He’s fine. I already called the clinic and checked in with Doctor O’Donald. Nurse Shelley is watching him, spoiling him with candies and treats and Cats Cradle. I’m surprised that old lady is still around.” His smile seemed relieved as he looked at her, but Amelia could have imagined it. Who knew what kind of damage she’d sustained in the cold. “Doc’s coming out as soon as she finishes with Slate and two other patients that came in with emergencies.”

  “How’s Slate?” Two words at a time. She’d conquer the damn freeze with two words at a time. Damn it.

  “He’s conscious, but I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Doc wouldn’t give me more specifics than that. She should be here soon. I’m supposed to get you into the bath as soon as you’re awake – which is now. Are you ready?” He studied her intently with eyes so blue she could have fallen into their depths.

  Water. More water. The bath would be warm and wasn’t rushing around her, thrusting her against boulders and rocks, but the tremor of trepidation at the idea of water tensed her and she closed her eyes. Yet she nodded. If Becky suggested it for Amelia, then it would be good for her.

  She pushed on the bed with arms that still felt weighted. Wobbly, she got a half-inch at best. She sagged back against the mattress, exhausted.

  “I got you.” Robbie reached under her and lifted her with one arm, the other he held close to his side. She’d never noticed how he favored one arm over the other. With most of her weight carried by his side, they reached the bathroom. In the bright light, she realized she was in her underwear. Not her best-sexy-black-don’t-you-regret-leaving-me underwear either.

  She groaned. Why did she even care about her panties?

  “What’s the matter? You still hurt?” Robbie pushed the door shut and sat on the toilet lid, pulling her down to his lap. He looked her over, the heat in his gaze both discomfiting and sweet at once.

  “You look fine. Well except for your scratches. Do they sting a lot?” He watched her with a slight smile on his smooth lips.

  Alarm filled her. He could see her body. He could see what had happened to her young skin
. How did she hide her stretch marks in the bathroom light? From him? He’d never see her as sexy again, if he saw the damage the pregnancy had done. She crossed her arms over her waist, hugging in her insecurity, not caring about the sharp pain each movement brought. She inhaled but that hurt her ribs and her throat. No matter what she did, she caused herself more pain. Where was the numbness when she needed it?

  Robbie reached the short distance to the faucet of the bathtub and turned on the water, testing it for heat. Once he got it where he wanted it, he dropped the plug in. His eyes focused on hers. And the sudden seriousness of the moment struck her.

  He’d saved her life. He came for her. Suddenly, she didn’t want to feel numb. She wanted to feel everything.

  Robbie didn’t look away as he reached with one hand to the waistband of her panties and slid it down over the curve of her hip. He held her gaze as he lifted his leg which raised her butt so he could draw the underwear down over her curves and thighs.

  She couldn’t breathe again and it had nothing to do with cold. Heat warmed her and she tried ignoring the fact that she sat on his lap with no underwear separating her from his touch.

  She didn’t balk though, and held his gaze with her own as if daring him to do his worst – or his best. He arched an eyebrow as he reached for the clasp of her bra at her back, answering the challenge. Unhooking it, he pointedly looked down at her chest as her breasts sprang free, the material sliding down until it caught on her arms where they crossed over her stomach.

  Amelia lifted her chin. She’d be damned if he’d embarrass her. She shed the bra with a flick of her wrists, recrossing her arms for her sanity.

  Robbie’s gaze devoured her, burning her with intensity. But he didn’t stop there, he took in all of her, and an embarrassed heat raced up from her toes to her hair. Not one mark or fat spot escaped his notice.

  Amelia wanted to cry. He could see her imperfections, her flaws. Everything she’d tried hiding the night before in the dark when she’d been in his arms. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to break down right there, and show more weakness than just her looks. He’d always told her how beautiful she was. Now, he wouldn’t have any reason —

  “I wish I’d been here to see you pregnant. I bet you were spectacular.” Husky with a dash of velvet, his words did more for her body than the alcohol he’d given her. “Look at you. You’re even more beautiful than before.” He pulled her head to his lips, kissing her forehead long and slow. “I’m so sorry I missed it. I don’t have… words, you know?”

  Carefully, Robbie stood, helping her to stand and then step into the almost-full bath. He turned the water off. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be in the other room so you can have privacy.”

  She watched him, unsure of what exactly had just happened. He’d missed her. Just those simple words thawed her anger toward him.

  Lowering herself into the hot water, she sighed. Oh thank you! The pain of the heat stung at first, but melted in the cloying warmth of the water. Lapping at her skin, the water tugged and seeped away the frozen parts. A small shiver escaped her as the cold dissipated.

  She leaned her head back, trying not to focus on the conflicting emotions roiling inside her.

  Robbie’s voice carried through the bathroom door, muffled, the words unclear. His brief conversation ended abruptly. Seconds later, he knocked softly on the door before opening it. Careful to avert his eyes from her form, he focused on a spot just over her head. “That was Ronan. They found where the men had been but it looks like they slipped over the mountains just before Ronan’s posse showed up. The fire was still smoldering. They might’ve had a lookout.”

  Amelia raised her knees. “Can you hand me a wash-cloth, please?”

  He tossed one of the rolled blue squares from the sink to her. She covered her breasts the best she could in the water, thankful that at least he had only turned the light-dimmer to fifty-percent.

  “So, can I ask you what’s going on? Who were those guys?” Throwing etiquette in the trash, Amelia jumped in to finding answers. “I mean they’re obviously here for you. That’s what they were yelling about. They said you owed them money and you did something to some guy named Johnson and now he’s dead.”

  Robbie stepped back, alarm stealing the calm from his expression. He shook his head, lifting his hand as if to say stop. “I’m not the bad guy here, Amelia. I didn’t do anything intentionally.” He closed his eyes, pausing in the thick, expectant quiet. “That’s not true.”

  “What is true? Why are you back? Is it because of them? I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t… can’t help hoping…” She swallowed, and tried to ignore the fact that she was extremely naked and vulnerable, maybe her head wasn’t working well yet, and there she was trying to confront Robbie MacAllister on intentions and plans and past deeds – in her birthday suit! “I don’t know what I was hoping for. Maybe for you to be here and active in Mac’s life? Maybe mine?” She’d said it, the words desperate to be heard. Her longing more controlling than any fear of rejection could be.

  His jaw clenched, evidence that he held back what he really wanted to say. The potential that she didn’t want to know what his thoughts were was high, but she had to hear what he said, or she’d make herself sick worrying about it. “Just say it. Whatever it is, just – say it.” She tightened her thighs together, pulling her legs closer to her chest but slow so not to draw undue attention to her body.

  “It’s not exactly the best time to talk about this.” He waved over her and the bath in general. “I mean, you’re not exactly well enough to speak coherently.”

  Amelia sat up, water splashing over the side of the tub. “I’m not what?” She stood, the washcloth sloshing into the water at her calves. “The hell I’m not. I’m fine. Thank you. I’m just fine.” She sluiced the water off the planes of her body and stepped from the tub. True, she was a little weak and maybe even extremely tired, but the cold wasn’t a problem anymore.

  She’d be damned if she’d bend over and unplug the bath to drain it. She reached for her robe hanging from the back of the door, not giving into the need to mask her nakedness with her arms until she was properly covered. “And for your information, there isn’t a better time, ever.”

  Pushing her hair from her face, Amelia slid the green terrycloth robe around her. The tie knotted at the side, its tails slapping softly at knee height. She didn’t turn around or look back when the water gurgled in the drain. He’d pulled the plug while she’d dressed and stomped from the bathroom.

  The light turned off behind her. He followed her out into the bedroom and living space.

  I can do this. Just say what I’ve been dying to tell him for so long. Amelia bit her lip. In the dark protection of her room, she’d had the courage to tell him off over and over – sometimes yelling sometimes whispering. But right then, after he’d done some pretty great things for her, said some even better ones, she couldn’t find the fight that she really needed to spout off to him.

  He moved close to her back, placing his hands on her shoulders. Turning her toward him, he met her gaze in the soft lamplight. “Hey, I’m not sure you are fine until you’ve had a chance to get checked out by Doctor O’Donald. She’ll be here soon. Just give us time, okay? I just want to make sure you’re one-hundred-percent better before we take on anything too serious or try to solve the future.” Robbie rubbed up and down on her biceps, the movement slowly rocking her back and forth.

  “How long are you staying?” She’d pass on his bullshit. Stepping to the right, she jutted her hip to the side and shook off his hands. She wasn’t one to be “handled” and especially not by a man – not this man either, no matter how much she craved him.

  He dropped his arms to his sides and looked to the ground. After a shrug and meeting her gaze, he said. “I don’t know. I’d like to say forever, but I have bigger problems out there than I do here.” He ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair. “If you can believe that.” He raised the corner of h
is mouth in his famous side-smile, the one that had snagged her their first day in high school. She’d known him forever, but he’d never looked at her quite like that.

  She thrust her jaw forward, speaking through tight teeth. “I can’t believe that you’re referring to your wife and child as problems.”

  “My what?” Robbie stepped back, eyebrows tight.

  Amelia had always referred to him as her husband, so it wasn’t too far off for her to blurt that out. She covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide.

  Oh, crap, what had she just done?

  Chapter 14

  Had Robbie really just heard her right? Maybe she wasn’t getting better. Maybe he needed to run her into town immediately. She’d escalated to thinking that they were married?

  While nothing would’ve made him happier – once upon a time, but she’d had Ronan send him away so long ago, her mental facilities might not be intact, if she thought they were. And he’d know, because nothing dashed hopes for a happily-ever-after faster than being told you weren’t wanted anymore.

  “Um, well, there’s… well…” She mumbled from behind her palm, eyes wide.

  “I can’t hear you. Why would you think we’re married?” Robbie scrunched his eyebrows together, pressing his lips into a tight line. Every time he talked to her, something new came out or she made up something. Truth was, it was getting ridiculous.

  She lowered her hand, revealing her chewing on the side of her bottom lip. Amelia took a deep breath, lifted her chin and met his gaze. “Because we are.”

  Robbie jerked back, shock at the blatant lie and attempt at what? To control him? Make him stay? “The hell you say. I’ve never been married. See, I told you, you aren’t right in the head. Not yet.”

  In a fierce display of anger, Amelia thrust her finger toward his chest, eyes bright. “No, damn it, Robbie. I’m fine! And I am your wife. Legal and lawful. I even have a paper to prove it.”