Learning to Walk Again

by S. L. Kassidy

  “You never asked.”

  Christine glanced away again, watching faceless denizens pass by the window. “No, I didn’t.” She turned back to look Dane in the eye. “What happened? Was there any truth to Bryan’s story?”

  “There’s never any truth to Bryan’s anything, which is what I’m sure Russell loves about him. What happened doesn’t matter. Just don’t call it an accident. Don’t diminish it. I was attacked. I tried to help a snake and got bit.”

  “You tried to help Bryan?” Christine sounded skeptical.

  Dane snorted. “Continuing to prove I’m stupid.”

  “Helping someone is never stupid.”

  “Yeah, tell that to my musical ability. I don’t want to talk about that.” It wasn’t any of Christine’s business. She just never wanted to hear someone refer to it as ‘an accident,’ when it was a plot against her.

  Christine nodded. “Never doubt that I was happy you survived. Not just that, but everything.”

  “I don’t doubt you care about me. It’s just in a destructive way. It happens. I cared about me, too, and pumped tons of drugs in my system for years without a care in the world,” Dane replied.

  “That doesn’t sound like caring.”

  “Trying to stop the pain means I cared about me.” Sometimes, she was certain wishing she was dead meant she cared about herself. She cared about that person inside who no one wanted and who needed the hurting to end.

  Again, their conversation was interrupted as the waiter returned with their food. Dane had a simple grilled cheese with fries and a root beer. Christine had a salad with some iced tea. They didn’t touch the food, but sat silently for longer than necessary, staring at their meals. Maybe it was a way to regroup.

  “What do you propose we do now?” Christine asked, her shoulders slumping a little. Her blonde hair managed to droop with her shoulders.

  “I’m not going to ask you about all of the shitty things you did or what you took from me as a child. It’s done. People do shitty things for tons of reasons.” She learned from Nicole’s cousin Lily that a person could be the nicest thing in the world to you—as Nicole was with Lily—and that still didn’t stop the other person from being a bitch. Sometimes, there was no rhyme or reason to it. There was no need to dwell either. She watched Nicole pick herself right up, and that was way more recent than whatever the hell Christine had done to her.

  Christine nodded. “Okay, what do you propose?”

  “Hi, Christine. I’m Dane,” she said. This was what Christine sort of wanted, or at least suggested once. Maybe it could work.

  Christine’s hair moved forward as her forehead furrowed. “You’re serious?”

  “I think this might be best.” She had stalled with Christine too long as it was. She couldn’t deny she wanted some part of this woman, and it seemed like Christine wanted some part of her. But, not too much. She didn’t need too much of her in her life. Maybe they could be friendly strangers, like with Adam. “It’s a way to move forward and maybe we’ll learn about each other along the way.”

  Christine smiled. “Okay.” Glancing down, she played with her food a little. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dane.”

  Dane took a bite of her sandwich. “I used to play music. Was in a band and everything. What about you?”

  A tiny smile played on Christine’s pink painted lip. “Funny, I used to play music, too.”

  “What instruments?” Dane was actually curious. She knew Christine played the piano, but that was like everyone knew she played guitar.

  “Well, the piano is my passion, but I started out on the flute.” Christine laughed, her eyes sparkling just a little. She nibbled her salad. “I’m terrible with woodwinds, though.”

  Dane laughed, too. “Me, too. But, I can actually hold my own with brass.”

  “One instrument does not count as holding your own.”

  “I could’ve improved on that one instrument or learned more at some point.”

  Christine shook her head, her eyes dancing. “I remember when you first picked up the trumpet. The face you made suggested you’d stomp on the next brass instrument passed to you.”

  Dane smirked a little and didn’t deny the charges. Just like that, they were off to an actual civil and good conversation. It stuck to music, the one thing they had in common. But, it was good, almost enlightening. She didn’t leave it feeling like body parts had been torn off her, which was a new thing when it came to dealing with Christine.

  ***

  Nicole came home to a house devoid of human life. She wasn’t surprised. Danny called and said she was out and about. Glancing around, the house always felt empty without Danny around, even if Haydn was there. He barked, as if to remind her of his presence and the fact that he was trapped in the music room.

  She let Haydn out, greeting him with the appropriate petting, cooing, and kissing, and he followed her around the house. The noise and company were a welcome distraction. She gave him a treat since she had no idea how long he had been gated in the den. The fact that he didn’t tear anything up or knock anything over was good enough for her. He nuzzled her as thanks. She leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

  “You’re sweet.” Nicole scratched his ears before exiting the kitchen to go upstairs. She put her things away and changed into some comfortable clothing, before getting started on dinner.

  When Danny came home, she had a shopping bag with her and a smile brightening her face. Nicole hugged her and gave her a kiss. Danny gave her an extra-tight squeeze.

  “You’re in a good mood. Christmas shopping really agrees with you,” Nicole said.

  “Christmas really agrees with me, but this isn’t Christmas shopping.” Danny grinned and wiggled a little with jubilant energy. “How long has it been since I told you I love you?”

  Nicole laughed. “This morning.”

  “Well, I love you. And I kinda love Christmas.”

  “I’ve noticed.” Nicole made a show of looking at the bag in Danny’s hand. She was ecstatic to see Danny in such great spirits, especially after what happened with her mother.

  “Thank you so much, angel.”

  Nicole shook her head and stared at her girlfriend. “You really don’t have any idea, do you?” It’s actually cute she’s clueless.

  Danny blinked. “What?”

  “You have no idea how much better you make everything for me. Thank you, Danny.”

  Danny looked at her, tilting her head slightly, like she didn’t understand. Well, she didn’t understand. Nicole pulled Danny back to her.

  “I don’t tell you often enough how much better my life has been since you came. Christmas has been brighter. There’s so much joy, laughter, and light in my life now. Everything seems much more vibrant and full of promise. It’s because of you. You’ve made me much stronger thanks to your strength. So, thank you.” Nicole squeezed her tight.

  Danny smiled. “Are we a pair?”

  “A matching pair, my love. A matching pair. Now, how about we eat and you tell me about your day? Mine, as you can imagine, was filled with idiots now that I don’t have class anymore. I will be unbelievably happy when I get a few days off for Christmas.”

  Danny laughed. “I’ll be happy, too. I think you’ll like hearing about my day.”

  Nicole grinned and listened as Danny detailed her day, including a new start with Christine. “You think it’ll be okay?”

  Danny shrugged. “I’m willing to try now. If it’s not, I won’t let it get me down. If it is, then it’s a good thing I tried.”

  Nicole kissed Danny. “You know I wish you the best.” Maybe Christine will prove to be just as mature as Danny and things would be fine. Please let things work out for Danny, if only to reward her Christmas spirit. “Now, are you going to show me what’s in the bag? It’s killing me.”

  Danny snickered. “It’s a surprise. You’ll see tonight.”

  It turned out Danny bought a Santa hat and reindeer boxers. She wore them to bed. Nicole
spent a full five minutes laughing. It was good Danny was in such high spirits.

  Chapter Six

  NICOLE WOKE UP ON Christmas day to the smell of pancakes and bacon, which didn’t surprise her. The bed was empty. Last night, despite some rather energetic time together, Danny had fidgeted like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. Obviously, Danny couldn’t wait. Nicole smiled.

  She was probably shaking boxes before she started cooking. Nicole took a moment to picture Danny under the tree, holding a box labeled “for Danny” and shaking it to figure out what it was. The thought made her smile grow. She got out of bed and brushed her teeth before making her way downstairs.

  Turned out she was wrong. Danny, still in her pajamas of shorts and a tank top with her Santa hat atop her head, was shaking boxes when Nicole came downstairs. She could only assume the cooking was done. Haydn practically stood on Danny’s shoulder while she tried to figure out what her gifts were under the tree. She even held some up for Haydn to sniff, as if he could then tell her what was in the box. Nicole shook her head.

  “I swear,” Nicole muttered loud enough for Danny to hear.

  With a grin, Danny turned to Nicole. “Merry Christmas!” Her eyes were bright and full of joy.

  Nicole gave a smile back and felt a little bad that she couldn’t match Danny’s enthusiasm. “Definitely a Merry Christmas.”

  Nicole greeted her with a kiss. Danny wrapped her arms around Nicole, and they collapsed to the floor in a fit of giggles. Nicole settled on the floor with Danny pressed against her, sighing as warmth and love engulfed her. Danny pulled back a little, so they could look each other in the eyes.

  “You know, it snowed a little last night, making it a white Christmas.” Danny placed her hand on Nicole’s cheek.

  Nicole arched an eyebrow. “Enough for us to build a snowman? Provided you don’t kill that one.” A teasing smirk settled on her face.

  Danny leaned down and kissed her again, ridding her of the expression. There was a hint of passion that might’ve been inappropriate for Christmas morning, but she didn’t care. She returned the show of affection, opening her mouth enough for Danny’s tongue to slide home. They kissed until they needed air. Haydn came in as soon as they tried to breathe, attempting to squeeze in between them, earning laughs that encouraged him. Danny gently pushed Haydn away, making him whine.

  Danny stroked Nicole’s cheek with her thumb. “Unfortunately, not enough for us to build a snowman. Just enough for there to be a little white on the ground to go with this awe-inspiring Christmas morning. Can we open presents now?”

  Nicole laughed. She’s so cute! She had to kiss Danny one more time, a quick peck on the lips. “Didn’t you make breakfast? You don’t want it to get cold, do you?”

  Sighing, a pout took over Danny’s face. “No, especially since there’s hot chocolate involved.”

  Okay, she went overboard on breakfast, but there’s still ways to make this morning better. She ran her hands over Danny’s back. “That’s tempting, but you know I like having you on top of me more than anything else.”

  Danny grinned. “Well, if you play your cards right and I really like what you got me…” She bit her lip, managed a light blush, and looked coy.

  Chuckling, Nicole rolled her eyes. “Let’s see about breakfast first.” She’d love nothing more than to have Danny on top of her for the morning, but there was food to be had and she’d rather have it hot. “After all, you wore me out pretty badly last night.”

  Danny played with the ends of Nicole’s hair. “It’s not my fault you looked so sexy.”

  Nicole scoffed. “In a plain camisole and teddy bear pants?” She glanced down at herself, demonstrating her pajamas.

  Danny gently tugged at the thin material of the red and white pajama pants. “Well, those were some sexy teddy bears.”

  Nicole couldn’t help laughing. Danny gave her another kiss and then eased away, helping her to her feet. They went to the breakfast nook, and Nicole found her love had made quite the spread. Strawberry pancakes with whipped cream, definitely a Christmas treat. There were scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns as well. As soon as Nicole sat down, Danny placed a candle between them.

  “You are too romantic for your own good,” Nicole said before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. She moaned a little as the blast of cocoa and whipped cream hit her tongue. It was perfect. This was perfect.

  “It’s all for you, you know,” Danny replied.

  Nicole appreciated it and cut into her pancakes. “Well, this is outsiding and you’re amazing.”

  “I wanted to celebrate this Christmas right. You know, better than that first one.” Danny glanced away.

  “Baby.” Nicole reached over and took Danny’s hand. She didn’t like thinking back to that time because of the poor shape Danny had been in. “Yes, that was a hard time, but it’s over. You recovered, and we’re all right. This Christmas will be the first of many we celebrate together.”

  Danny gave her hand a squeeze. “I truly hope so, angel.”

  Nicole had no doubt in her mind they’d do this for many years to come. They had been through so much together, and they kept coming out better and better. The pattern would hold. I have faith we will work out.

  “Besides, if it wasn’t for that time, we wouldn’t be legal partners,” Nicole said. This was a silver lining for her, even though they didn’t often discuss being domestic partners.

  “Well, even that wasn’t fair. You just did that to make sure I got taken care of. I wasn’t ready for a commitment like that, even though I am now,” Danny replied.

  Nicole nodded and ate some of her pancakes. She took a big bite of bacon. “I’m not sure I was ready for it at the time, but I am now, too. We’re definitely partners now.” Yes, their domestic partnership had been rushed to get Danny health insurance, but it felt true and real now.

  Danny grinned. “Glad you feel that way. I like being your partner.”

  Nicole smiled back and then got to work on her breakfast. Danny did the same. Everything was delicious, but the pancakes exploded with flavor, sweetness dancing on her tongue. Danny had outdone herself.

  “What time do we leave for your grandparents’?” Danny asked as she cut into her pancakes. She devoured four pieces and eggs at the same time. Syrup dripped down the corner of her mouth. Nicole reached over and wiped it away with a napkin.

  “We should get there a little before three,” Nicole replied.

  “You know, I never knew people ate dinner at three before you. Hell, I used to have breakfast at three sometimes.”

  Nicole chewed on some pancakes with a smile. “Oh, yeah? What kind of breakfast?”

  “Usually candy and blow, which I guess actually counts as two kinds of candy.” Danny shrugged and ate more eggs.

  Nicole’s stomach twisted, but she took Danny’s casual mention of her past as a good sign. She was open to hearing it now, and Danny was willing to share. It was a big step for both.

  “Did you at least drink orange juice?” Nicole asked.

  Danny scoffed. “Please, I was classy. I had vodka.”

  Nicole laughed. “Vodka is classy?”

  “Clear liquor is classy. Tequila is also classy.”

  “Clear liquor and foreign liquor is classy?” Nicole asked.

  Danny put a finger to her chin and pretended to think. “Many things are classy. None of them beat having breakfast with you on Christmas morning, though. I was wondering if after your grandparents’ place, we hit Henry and Lynn.”

  Nicole nodded. “Definitely. My grandparents always have dinner early to make sure everyone has time to go visit with other family members afterward. My papa will be happy we have somewhere to go now. We can deliver their presents.”

  “Really looking forward to that. Wish I could’ve seen Luke and Thomas open their gifts.” A pout took over Danny’s face, and Nicole reached for her hand.

  “One day, love.” Nicole hoped so anyway. Sharon would always be a huge obstacle. Be
yond her homophobia, there seemed to be a general hatred for Danny they’d have to get through. Maybe Adam would eventually grow a backbone and stand up for his sister, but she couldn’t see that happening for many years.

  “Gonna be great!” Danny chirped, sitting up straight and pulling her hand away briefly. She squirmed in her seat for a moment.

  Leaning forward, Nicole caressed Danny’s forearm. “Yes. Now, before we open anything, you should finish eating. You don’t want this great spread to get cold.” She pointed to Danny’s plate with her fork. All the eggs were gone, but there were still a couple of strips of bacon and half the pancakes. Not to mention, much of her whipped cream had melted into her hot chocolate. Danny nodded and went back to work on her meal, gulping down some of her beverage while there was still some cream left.

  Haydn finished with his food only to come bother them. They didn’t make it a point to feed him people food, but it was Christmas. So, when Danny dangled bacon in front of him, Nicole didn’t say anything. Haydn snatched up the bacon and then leaped around the kitchen like he’d just gotten the best Christmas gift of them all.

  “I hope I like my stuff as much as he liked that bacon,” Danny said with a smile. Nicole only laughed.

  Soon breakfast was done, and it was time to open gifts. They made their way to the tree and sat with Haydn crouched in front of both them. Nicole grabbed a box she wrapped, easing it into Danny’s hands.

  “It’s not clothes, is it?” Danny asked.

  Nicole scoffed. “You mean shaking the box didn’t clue you in? Besides, you need clothes. No one has only three pairs of pants to their name.”

  “Uh, I do, so obviously at least one person.”

  There were clothes, but among them a couple of things for Danny to play with. She got new headphones, which she immediately put on. For a moment, she nodded like there was music coming through the headset.

  “I’m so going to have sex with you with these on,” Danny declared with a wide grin and bright eyes.

  Nicole chortled. “Oh, no, you’re not!”