"MaybeIshouldbereallygoodatschool...";"MaybeIshouldgetinshape...".Itisasimple
mathematicalformula:ifyouareoneofthesepeople,then"maybe"youwillgettheresultsyou want.
But what is your dream? What lights your fire? "Maybe" you should try. It isn’t so, you muststrivewithallyourmightandtrywithallyourheart.Soyousayitwillbedifficult?Of course,therearenoshortcuts.You'regoingtofallathousandtimesandnoonewillkeepscore ofit.Butrememberthis:thereisnoflatmountain.Ifyouwanttoreachthetop,therewillbe sharp surfaces that you will have to go through. There will be times when you will feel stressed, and other times you will feel depressed. But let me tell you one thing: Steven Spielberg was rejected from the film school three times, but he continued to fight for his dream; The famous presenter Oprah was rejected by television entrepreneurs, because they saidshedidnotfittheneededprofile,butshekeptfighting;CriticssaidthatBeyoncedidnot singwell,andshewasdepressed,butshekeptfighting...
Problemsandcriticismsarerequirementstoreachgreatness.ThatisaUniversalLawand fromwhichnooneescapes.Lifeispainandeffort,butyoucanchoosewhatkindofpaintogo through: if the pain is on your way to success, to your dream; Or the pain of repentance for neverhavingtried.
Ifyouwantmyadvice,don´tthinktwice.WehavebeengivenaGIFTcalledLIFE.Sodon´t wasteit.Donotletyourpastdefineyou.Getrebornfromasheseverymoment,andcatchyour dreamNOW.
Sometimes you have to risk jumping, to allow your wings to open while you fall. You'd betterdoitbeforetimerunsout.Becauseinlifethereareno"previoustrials",noextensions; Andifyoudon´tusetheGiftthathasbeengiventoyou,itwillbeawastefortheworld.
Sothink:Whatareyoupassionateabout?Whatuniquequalitydoyouhaveinside,readyto give it to the Universe? UNI means "single" and VERSE means "song." You are a SINGLE
SONG.Sobebraveandshowyourmelodytoothers.Singwhatyourheartdictatestoyou.Life isthestage.Youcan´tturnbacktimeandchangethepast,butyoucanbegintowalkthepathof yourdreamTODAYandcreateanewend."
"Wow ... Inspiring" I say excitedly as I finish watching the video. "I loved the metaphor withtheplanes."
"It'sgreat,isn´tit?ThisvideohasmademereflectonthelifeI'vehadandevenonthelife I'lllead,nowthat..."Heseemstobeunabletocontinuespeaking.Iknowhowitfeelstohave thatlumpinyourthroatthatoppressesyouanddrownsyourwords.
"NowthatyouhaveAlessandrowithyou"Ifinished.
"I think I'll feel better when I talk to him. I haven´t had the opportunity to dispel doubts aboutwhathereallythinks."
"Prepareforhisopinionthateverythingsucks."
"Youth..."Hesighs,smiling."Idon´tunderstandwhyIsabellawantsmetolookafterher son.Doesshetrustmesomuch?Wehadnotseeneachotherinyears,shedoesn’tevenknow howIamorwhoIreallyam."
"Manyyearsago,shesawinyousomethingtomakehercomeback,Mark.Thator...she's verydesperate."
Ilaugh,hopingthatMarkwilldothesameanddoesn’ttakebadlymyjoketobreaktheice andnotmakeadramaticsituation,somethingmuchworsethanitis.Helooksatmeinsurprise
andluckily,hestartstolaughtooandtorelax.
The hours pass quickly with Mark. We talk about life, about love and about my divorce becauseoftheappearanceofableachblondeyounglady.Idon´tgointomuchdetailaboutmy controllingmarriagewithJack;DeepdownI'mashamedtoadmitthatIlivedwithfearofbeing aloneformanyyearsandtherefore,IputupwithapersonIdidwant,butcouldn´tstand.We are talking about Amy, what Alessandro will really be like and about Isabella and all the memorieswithher,evenifsheisstillwithus.HowIwanttoknowher...themorehetalks abouther,themoreIfeellikegivingherahug.TotellherthatAlessandrowillbesafe,thatshe can go in peace. I'm a writer, I'm supposed to have an eye on people; I know how to look beyond what a smile or a glance says. What the words behind the gestures hide, or even the darkestandmosttormentedthoughts.I'mgoodatanalyzingaperson,eventhoughtheyalsolie tomelikeithappenedtomewithAngelo.Sometimes,asinthecaseoftheItalianCasanova,I letthemlietomeformyowngoodorentertainment.Althoughithurts,itdoesn´tmatter.Ihave enjoyed and I have felt alive; I have done what I thought fit at the moment and what I really fancied. As the man from the video I've seen with Mark said, I don´t want to end my days regretting that I haven’t done what I wanted. And there's only one thing I regret: not giving Markachanceonthatfirst"no-date"inNewYork.Nothavingbeenmoreunderstandingand havingsenthimtohellonthespotbecauseofastupidconfusion."Thankyou,Cindy"Ithink.
"Thankyou."
CHAPTER9
ALICE
"Fateiswise,
itknowswhotoputonthe
way,toremaininyourlife
Orsimplyto
Leaveyouagreatlesson"
I'mnervousandIdon´tknowwhy.Markwalksbesidemewithoutspeaking.Amy,afewsteps back,isdistractedtryingtofindsignalonhercellphone.Iamwaitingforthemomentwhena distraction will make her stumble and fall down on the dirt road, which will lead us to the housethat Isabella hasrented with herson in order tospend the summer.Her last summer. I don´tknowifI'mmorenervousaboutmeetingawomanwhosedeathisimminent,orbecause it'sbeenMark'sgreatestlove.Ilookathimoutofthecornerofmyeye.Helooksdownatthe ground,buttheexpressiononhisfaceseemstobeatpeace.Heisn´tnervous,norishesador stressed by the situation; the situation he will live, the responsibility that has fallen on him despitenotknowinganythingaboutIsabellaformanyyears.Ilookforwardtomeetingher,to lookingdirectlyintohereyesandtalkingtoher.Butwhatabout?WhatcanIsaytoawoman whoisabouttodie?Ihaveonedefect:impatience.ImpatiencemakesmesayeverythingIthink on the moment I am in, realizing minutes later, that I must learn to be silent. I often regret almosteverythingIsay,althoughovertheyearsIhavelearnedtobecalmeraboutit.Serenity.
IsthishowIsabellaiscopingwiththedisease?IsthatwhyMarkissocalm?
After fifteen minutes walking, we see in the distance a small stone house with a fenced gardenfullofpoppiesandacoupleoftrees.Asweapproach,Iglimpseawomansittingbythe frontdoorwithaglassoflemonadeinherhand.Iseemtoseethathesmilesatusandfinally, having it in front of me, doesn´t give me the feeling of being next to a dying, but quite the opposite.Hereyesarethesamecolorasthecoffee.Theyhavetheirownlight,theyshinelike stars eager to be seen and loved. I imagine that her beautiful shoulder-length hair is a wig.
Isabellaisfeminineandsweet.Lookingather,IunderstandwhyMarkfellinlovewithher.
IpromisedMarknottoinspiremeinIsabellaformynovelorfuturestories,butrightnow, IknowIprobablywillnotbeabletoavoidwritingaboutherinthefuture.OrassoonasIget home.
"Welcome"Isabellasays,givingMarkawarmembrace.
Then she looks at me and winks. A tall, athletic young man, very much like Isabella, appearsonstagethroughthefrontdoorofthecharminghouse,andmydaughterstopslookingat thescreenofhercellphone,torushforwardtohimandgivehimthebestofhersmiles.
"Isabella,IwanttointroduceyoutoAlice."
"Alice"Isabellarepeatswithasigh."CanIgiveyouahug?"
Her question surprises me, her behavior puzzles me; As if we were too accustomed to humancoldness.Inodandagreetotheembrace,happytobeherea
ndhaveherinfrontofme.
"Thank you" she says, a few seconds later. "Mark told me you're a writer. When no one hearsus,Iwilltellyouastory.Maybeitwillinspireyou."
"I'dloveto,Isabella"Isaytruthfully.
"Donottrustinher,Isabella"Marklaughs.
"Youjusthavetostareintoaperson'seyes,toseeifyoucantrustherornot,Mark.AndI can trust Alice. She winks at me again and touches my shoulder. Sit down" she says gently, pointingtothegardenchairs."I'llgetsomelemonade."
Mark and I obey Isabella and sit down, waiting for our lemonade. Amy and Alessandro havedisappearedawhileago,butIdon´tcareatall.
"I'mafraidAmywillnotleaveAlessandroforalittlewhile"Marklaughs.
"Surely.Heisveryhandsome,helookslikehismother."
"Isn’tshespecial?Isabella,Imean."
"Very...spiritual?"
"Well, I think that's the effect of the pills" he says, trying to add a touch of humor to the matter,evenifneitherofusisamused.
"I'mherealready!"
Isabellamovesherhipstodance,beforeservingusourglassesoflemonade.Shesitsdown andlooksatme;ThenshelookatMarkandthenatthesky.
"It'salovelyeveningandI'mgladyou'rehere.Areyouacouple?"Sheasksamusedly.
"No,Isabella.Youknowbetterthanthat"Marksaysseriously.
"Butyouwillbe"Isabellareplieswithahalfsmile."Youdon´thavetoworryaboutme, Alice.I'mdying,thoughyouprobablyalreadyknowthat."Suddenly,hervoicegrowsintoa frustrated tone. I can see a glimmer of jealousy in her eyes. I can understand it and in fact, I ignore it. "Anyway" she continues, "Mark and I have already talked about it. We are in love withthememorywehaveofeachother,that'sall.Ijustwantedtoclarifyit,sotherewon’tbe misunderstandings."
"Isabella,it'sokay"Marksays.
"Iknow,Iknow...What'sgoingtohappen?Nothinghappens."
Isabellalaughs,takesasipofthelemonadeandtakesoffherwig.Itdoesn´timpactme,on thecontrary.She'sstillbeautiful.
"Damnthewig...Howitchyitis!"Mark,haveyouthoughtaboutAlessandro?"Sheasks suddenly.
"ItoldyouI'dstaywithhim."
"I'vetalkedtohimandheagrees.HewantstogowithyoutoNewYork,headmiresyouas achef.Hesaysthatintheend,hewillleadagooddailydiet.I'veneverbeengoodatcooking"
shesays,lookingatme.
"Idon´tthinkthat..."Marktriestosay.
"Youdon´tthinkthat'sbetterthanlivingwithhismother,right?IwishIhadahundredyears left. Hopefully. And I wish I did not have to put you in this situation, in which perhaps you havebeenforcedtosayyes.ButIdon´thaveanyoneelse,Mark."
"Isabella,"Markreassuresher"Idon´tdoitoutofcommitment.I'mgoingtobelikeafather tohimandIwantyoutogoinpeace."
IthinkthatinmylooktowardsMarkadmirationandrespectcanbenoticed.Afewweeks agohewasasimplearrogant,asuccessfuljerkthatIthoughtIwouldneverseeagaindespite beingCindy'sbrother.Andnow,whatdoesthistickleinthestomachmean?Isabellalooksat meandseemstoknoweverythingaboutme.Itdoesn´tbotherme,notifshedoesn´ttellMark whathestilldoesn´tknow.
"GotalktoAlessandroforawhile.IfAmyleavesyou,ofcourse"Isabellalaughs."I'dlike togettoknowAlicealittle."
Marknods,looksatusbothandwalksawayfromus.Itakeasipfrommylemonade,not knowing what to say, and I notice those brown eyes that peer at me curiously; They have acquiredagreenishtonalitybytheraysofthesunthatfalldirectlytohersweetandbeautiful face.
"Doyouwantmetotellyouastory?"Sheasksmischievously.Inod."Whenyouthinkyou know all the answers, the universe comes and changes all the questions" she begins to say, pensive and staring into my eyes. Alessandro came into my life in the most unexpected way, when I was most lost. It was a dark time of my life when I needed money and I dedicated myselftohighclassprostitutioninFlorence.Markdoesn´tknowanythingaboutthis,soIhope youkeepitasecret...atleastfornow,untilIdaretoconfesstohim."
"Ipromiseyou"Isay,tryingtohidetheimpactoftheinformationshehasjustgivenme.She speaksnaturally,asifnothingofwhatshewastellingmewasimportant.
"Everynight,aftermakinglovewithmanymen,Iwouldgointothebathroomandscrape myskintogeteventhesmallestfingerprintonmybody.Iwasdisgustedwithmyself.Butone day ... I got pregnant. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I resumed my studiesandreturnedtobethepersonofwhichanyparentwouldfeelproud;SinceIhadlost contact with them long ago, and when I resumed it, it was too late. They died shortly.
Alessandro brought light to my days and joy to my life and in the end, I got what I had unknowinglywishedforallmylife.Beamother.AndI'vedoneitwell,he'sagreatguy.You'll seeforyourself,intime..."
"AndMark..."
"Markwasalwayshere"shesays,pointingatherheart."Buthewasonlyasummerlove.
Atthattime,thereweren´talltheadvancesthatnowexistandthatwouldhaveallowedusto stayintouch.Istoppedcominghere,andwhenIdid,theHopes’housewasalwaysempty.But thissummerIhadafeelingandfinallyIcouldreunitewithhim.I'vechangedhislife,Iknow.It canbeshocking,strange...thinkwhatyouwant.ButIknowwhatisbestformyson.Markwas averyspecialboy,youknow?OnedayIsawhimontelevision.Behindthisarrogantfacadeof an important and successful chef, I knew how to spot the teenager who conquered me. The sensitiveguyImet.Welivedanincredibleunforgettablesummer,andthatiswhy,betweenthe two there will always be something very special. Special and invisible, since the love of a memoryissomethinginexplicableandcanonlybefelt."
"That'swhathappenswithallkindsoflove"Iinterrupt,shruggingmyshoulders.
"That'sright,Alice.Andthereissomethinggoingonbetweenthetwoofyou,Inoticedit.
AlthoughIknowyouwillnotconfesstomethatyoubegintofeelsomethingforMark."
"No,I..."
"It doesn´t matter. I would be very happy to know that my son has a female presence at homethathecanremindofhismother."
"Nowomanwilltakeyourplace,Isabella."
"Iknow."Shesmileswithsatisfaction."He’sgoingtobehappy,right?Alessandro"
"Hewillbehappy."
"Doyouthinkthatwhenwedie,wegosomewherefromwherewecanseethoseweleave here?"Sheasks,pointingtothesky.
"I'dliketothinkso."
"Metoo.IwouldlovetomeetthemanthatAlessandrowillbecome.Andseehischildren, his grandchildren ... his future wife. That's why I've chosen Mark to take care of him. What happenedtomeisashittyluck"shelaughs."ButIacceptit.Soithastobeandweenjoyvery littleofthesmallpleasuresoflife,thinkingthatwestillhavegreatthingstolive."Sheshakes herheadandtakesmyhand."Donottakeanythingforgranted,Alice.Never.Enjoylife,every secondandalltheloveofyourdaughter.That'sallwetake:Love.That'sallthatmatters."
Evenwithherhandclutchedtomine,shegrabswiththeotherseveralpillsfromherpocket andcarriesthemtohermouth.Shesmilesandrollshereyes.
"Iwantthistohappen,Alice...Idon´twanttosufferanotherday."
It'ssad.Verysad.
MARK
IfeelliketalkingtoAlessandro.TolookintotheeyesofthatteenagerwhohasdrivenAmy crazyandtellhimthatalthoughIamadisasterandIhavebeenahumanwasteforalongtime everythingwillturnoutwell.We'llbefine.Iwillkeepmypromisetotakecareofhim.Ileave behind Isabella and Alic
e, who have started a conversation, and head for the back garden where I know Alessandro and Amy are. I expected to laugh at the scene I was going to encounter.InmyheadIimaginedalivelyAmyforcingthepoorAlessandrototakeselfiesto upload them to social networks and make her boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend) from New York jealous. However, the scene with which I find myself is much sweeter and evokes in me beautifulmemoriesofthepast.Amy'scellphoneislyingonthelawn.Thetwoyoungmenlook at each other in fascination with faces close together and kiss sweetly under the Tuscan sun; Foreigntotheworldaroundthemandofcoursetomydiscreetlookfromaprudentdistance.I waitpatientlyforthetwoteenagerstostopkissing,soIcanappearsuddenly;AsifIhadnot seenanything,andtakeAlessandroonawalkwithmetotalkabitwithhim.Ilookattheclock andtiredofseeingthetwolovebirdskissing,Ilookupatthesky.Fiveminutes.Fiveminutes havepassed.Theywouldbreakarecordiftheyshowedupatacontestofkissesofthestyle
"Toseewhotoleratesmore".Whentheyfinallyseparate,IlikeAlessandro'saffectionateand affectionate gesture towards Amy. He caresses her cheek and whispers something in her ear.
Shelaughsnervously,verytypicalofAmy.
"MayI?"Iask,asifIhadnotheardorseenanything.
"What'sup?"Amyasks,turningawayfromAlessandro.Itrynottolaugh.
"IwanttotalktoAlessandroforamoment."
"Ok."
Amy grabs her cell phone and walks away from us, not without before, winking at Alessandro.Isitonthegrassnexttotheboyandseatwithmyhead.Ihadamentaldiscourse prepared,butstartingitmakesmemorecomplicatedthanIimagined.
"Iknoweverything,Mark."
"Ofcourse,Idon´tdoubtit."
"IknowyouhaveagreedthatIstaywithyouandthankyouverymuch.Youdon´tknowhow importantitistomymother.AtfirstIwassurprised,afterallwedon´tknoweachotheratall, butit'scooltobeonTVandstuff."
"Well,that'stheleastofit.Howdoyoufeel?"Ifinallyask.
Happened in Tuscany Page 9