My Soul to Save (Soul Keeper)

by Melissa Solis

  "That's not how I see it. That's not the way loneliness works. Maybe at first we will be able to be strong for the sake of our love, but month after month, year after year, it will wear us down. We'll form new bonds with other people, people who are minutes away, not plane rides. One day you'll forget what it was that you liked about me, because people grow and change. I'll never be that sweet girl you fell for that shared her spot under the tree with you during lunch."

  "It's not often you're wrong but one day in the far, far off future, I'm going to rub your nose in this conversation when we're on our honeymoon." He smiles out, completely convinced he's won this one. Of course the only words ringing in my ears are far, far off future and honeymoon.

  He puts the truck back into drive and we make the rest of the trip. I bury my head on his shoulder and pray he's right. The campus is packed with our graduating class and half the population of Virginia. It seems a bit excessive for a class of only three hundred.

  Emily spots us and waves from across the football field. I make my way over to her while Sam has to check in on stage.

  “Good luck on your speech.”

  “Thanks, I just hope I can see your pretty face from up there. You’re all the luck I need.” He gives my waist a squeeze before heading off.

  "I can't wait to get this over with and get to your party Em's."

  "You're not the only one. You'd think they'd come up with a new tradition over the years. Who thought wearing stupid cardboard squares on our heads and parading around in blue nightgowns was a good way to commemorate thirteen years of education?" she chides.

  "What would you have us in? I mean if the world got rid of the cap and gown what would be the universal symbol for graduation be?"

  "Bolo's and fedora's of course."

  "I love it."

  We find our seats and I prepare myself to listen to the principal's droning cadence for the next half hour. Sam takes the lectern and clears his throat. He looks nervous. He hates public speaking more than the cafeteria food.

  "Class of two thousand and fourteen, we did it. Parents, thank you for helping us get here. I pray that you all go on to be successful in whatever it is you have chosen to do with your life. The reason that this stadium is so packed tonight is because this is the moment your parents have been molding you for. The day that they finally get their lazy, annoying teenager out of the house. See– they’re nodding.

  They’ve paid for the next four years of college so that you can go annoy your professors and be lazy in your own place. See– they’re nodding again.” The crowd laughs.

  “This school is for the politically minded, so perhaps many of you will go on to do great things for our community. You’re all nodding, but there’s a lot that we don’t know, that we think we know– that’s what makes us so annoying. See, now your parent’s heads are bobbing again.

  So I implore you to go humbly into the world and learn the things that matter to you. If it doesn’t move you then don’t do it. My mother died of cancer when I was a young teenager, and ever since, I've made it my personal mission in life to kick cancer's ass. Sorry Principal Horn."

  The crowd cheers out and Mrs. Cohen, our lit teacher stands up, clasping her hands to her mouth before applauding. My mother arranged for her five year old to be cured from Leukemia as a birthday present to me. Principal Horn frowns at Sam's profanity but Mrs. Cohen keeps him in his seat.

  "But whatever it is you do out there in the world, do it up right, take it down hard, and don't let anybody tell you that you can't." Now everyone is on their feet, even they fell in love with him in minutes.

  Seeing Sam in the spotlight makes my heart swell, I'm so proud of him, and so in love with him. His gaze moves over the crowd during his speech but it always comes back to me as if I were his focal point. I'm glad I can't read his mind right now because I'm sure he's doing the old, picture the crowd naked trick. He speaks from his heart and it may not be the most eloquent speech I've ever heard, but Sam when Sam speaks, people listen, no special powers needed.

  After the speeches are over, we line up alphabetically and I'm stuck between two girls from my home room. The line is moving at a snail’s pace. Did everyone here get a scholarship? Maybe it was their gift from the heavens for having their memories altered all because of yours truly. Anyone who ever saw Elijah and I near each other, had the memory swiped from their brain the same night they did it to me. What I still haven't figured out is if my memories really happened or if I just think they did.

  If they can go back in time and erase the moment I met Elijah then that would have altered my course. There was no gorgeous next door neighbor protecting me. However, the photo of Elijah and Ari at Homecoming pleads its case that it all really happened. The girl behind me nudges me. The one in front of me has already accepted her diploma and is off stage. How long was I standing there for?

  Principal Horn looks a bit annoyed. "Graduating with national honors and a full scholarship to Harvard University, Brennen Elizabeth Hale." Sam comes out of his seat on stage and hugs me. I pause for a picture with the principal. In the crowd, Jesson, Emily and Sam's family cheer for me and I blush. I accidently blink into the other realm and notice Elena, Inara and Will are patrolling the sky. They fly up and down the football field like fighter jets armed and ready.

  After hats are tossed into the air, making it impossible to determine which is your own, I look for Sam. He finds me in the crowd, glimpses of his dazzling white smile appear between seas of blue gowns as if he were Moses parting oceans. When he finally gets to me, he lifts me into the air and whirls us around, kissing my lips once before setting me back down. I take in his clean woodsy scent and bask in the way his hands feel supporting my body.

  "Come on, I want you to meet my Pawpaw."

  He interlaces our fingers together and leads me to a spot near the bench where his family has congregated. All of these people are here for him? Sam talked about how big his family was back in Texas but I had no idea they were so close knit. There must be thirty people here at least. They each take turns hugging Sam and he introduces me to aunts, uncles, cousins and finally, we come to Samuel Montgomery Sr.

  "Pawpaw, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Brennen." The fragile looking man springs to life and grips my hand like he means it. His eyes are softened by white brows and shaded with a straw cowboy hat. He's in a grey sports jacket with patches on the elbows and a large gold belt buckle that looks western. Light glints off of his crocodile skin boots in the afternoon sun, making him appear like he was straight off the set of Dallas.

  "Good to meet you Brennen, I hear my little Sammy is quite taken with you." He smiles out instantly embarrassing Sam.

  "It's a pleasure meeting you and I was captivated by your grandson the moment he walked in and sat down next to me."

  "Well that’s because I taught him everything he knows, including how to impress the ladies." He waggles his brow while Sam rolls his eyes. I can’t help but laugh.

  "Pawpaw," Sam admonishes.

  "My compliments to the professor, Mr. Montgomery." I take Sam Sr.'s proffered arm and we continue to chat with his extended family. I see relief wash over Sam's face, he must have been worried about what his grandfather would think of me. I like him, he makes me wonder what my grandfather was like. Mine died before I was born. Sam's grandmother passed away a few years ago from a heart attack.

  "What about your grandparents on your mom’s side, do you still talk to them?" I wonder aloud.

  "Not since Mom passed away. They took it very hard and it's hard for them to see us because we look so much like her. At least that's what Dad thinks."

  "I guess people handle grief in their own way, but I would want to see my grandchildren grow up."

  "That's why I'm glad Sammy here is moving back to Texas, I've missed him and those girls. Speaking of, Sam have you got an eye on them?" I glance around the already thinning crowd and I don't see them anywhere. I shoot a furtive glance to Elena in the other realm and she
takes to the sky looking.

  "I'll go check the restroom," I offer and it's not long before his entire family is searching for the twins.

  "Mia, Maci are you girls in here?" I call out into the bathroom that I can already tell is empty. Inara keeps close by my side with Elena away. Fear begins to grab hold of my heart. "What if they took the girls?"

  "Just hold on before we jump to conclusions."

  "Inara would they do something like this just to get to me or Sam?"

  "Hurt two innocent girls to prove to you they will hurt anyone you care about?" She doesn't even bother to finish, I already know they would. They killed a plane full of passengers just to get to me, one was a little baby. I can't even imagine what they would do to someone I know and love like my own little sisters.

  I broke up with Sam for this very reason last year. We fought about something stupid and he apologized, but I knew that being what I was, put him and his sisters in danger. So I chose to end it. Of course that was before the memory switch. As far as this version of Sam is concerned, I've never been anything but a loving girlfriend.

  "They found them, they were under the bleachers with a couple of boys from their school." Elena says catching us as we exit the bathroom.

  "What? I am going to have a serious talk with those two tonight."

  "Who do you think their muse is Brennen?" Elena chimes out.

  "Whoa, not me? Sam and I have just kissed, and that's all we're going to do until we're married. Besides their ten years old."

  "Eleven, in two days and they were only talking to the boys."

  "No, no, no there will be no talking with boys under bleachers."

  "You will make a great mother someday Brennen."

  "I hope so, but even if I couldn't have kids I would never resort to what Sam's mother did." I whisper.

  Elena and Inara exchange glances like they know something I don't. I go to ask them what it is but Sam spots me and heads my way.

  "We found them. Looks like I may have to threaten a couple of thirteen year old punks later, but at least their safe."

  "Thank goodness. I'm sure they're just acting out because of the move. Believe me, I know what it’s like to move around a lot."

  "That's why I love you, you're my ground." Sam squeezes my shoulders.

  "I love you too. You have a cool family. Everyone jumped into action at the slightest hint of trouble."

  "Yeah, they're pretty great. Hey, Dad wants to know if you'll come to dinner with us, and then we can go to Emily's party after."

  "I'd love to."

  *~*~*

  Sam's dad booked a private room in some fancy steakhouse in Newport. He’s buying everyone's dinner and at these prices it would probably pay my mortgage for a month. If I had a mortgage.

  I'm glad to be out of the blue gown and back into normal attire. Sam's hand grazes up my bare thigh under the cover of the table cloth sending shivers up my back. I can't even read the menu if he's going to keep doing that. I'm in a white blouse and gray pencil skirt, his favorite outfit.

  I lean over and whisper in his ear. "Sam, you're being very distracting."

  A wicked smile plays just behind his smile and gets lost in his eyes, dancing with anticipation.

  "You know what that skirt does to me," he whispers back. I blush as I see his grandfather glimpse over at the pair of us being coy with each other. He just bounces a smile over at us and continues his conversation with Sam's dad.

  "Yes I do, happy graduation to you." His eyes grow large and I realize he hasn't looked down yet. I nudge a small box towards him. When he finally see's the box, he realizes that I wasn't gifting myself to him as a present, and looks mildly disappointed. But he rebounds quickly and opens the box.

  "An old watch, cool. Thank you," he says genuinely pleased.

  "It was my dad's. Look there's an inscription on the back."

  "One day, one hour, one minute then our time will come, and two shall forever be one," he recites. I know this was Emmagen’s message not the woman that posed as my mother for ten years.

  "I love it, thank you. I have something for you too." He pulls out a tiny blue Tiffany box much like the one my bracelet came in, but this is a ring box. This is a ring box. We are in front of his entire family, and this is a ring box.

  "Don’t look so frazzled, it’s only a promise ring. I know we're about to go away and have this long distance relationship and it worries you. I won't ask you to be my wife until I can support you in every way a husband should, but I hope you will wear this ring, and know that my intentions are to propose."

  Before I can say anything, Sam's Aunt Trudy burst out, "Oh my Lord Sam Montgomery! If you aren't the sweetest thing since apple pie, I don't know what is." Her teenage daughter looks mortified to be related to her.

  "Sam it's beautiful, thank you." He takes it out and places it on my right ring finger. It's made of white gold and a small diamond sits inside a quirky, not so square box. It's unique and I love that about the piece. Sam has good taste when it comes to picking out jewelry for me.

  I think that I've always known I would marry Sam one day, but with having my brain swirled around and all, I wonder if that is how I really feel. What if Nehemiah programmed me to feel this way? What I really hate is that I can’t tell the difference. Supposedly I felt the same way about Elijah. Sam’s entire family has stopped talking and started paying attention to me. Heat fills my face and I can’t see anything else but their eyes boring into me, waiting for my response.

  Technically he didn’t ask me a question so what should I say? I glance up at Elena who only looks annoyed. I think she’s still holding out on the possibility that my memory will return. Inara has her hands clasped and held to her cheek like she’s a sucker for Sam’s romantic side.

  “Yes, I am afraid of what eight years of long distance relationship will do to us. But a ring is not going to melt those fears away. I think we need to be realistic. Promises can be broken and when that happens, people get hurt. I don’t want you to promise me that you’re going to propose one day. Because tomorrow I could get hit by a bus.

  I think that we should go to college as single people. After that, we will see where life takes us. I love you with all of my heart but I can’t live with this fear inside.”

  “Are you breaking up with me in front of my whole family out of the blue?” Am I? Oh my God I think I am. Holy shit what is wrong with me? How can I do this to him now?

  “Read the inscription again, this is what is right for us right now. Deep down, you know it too.” Sam looks like I just shot his puppy and I feel like a total ass for confronting him in front of his family but if we were alone I would have never been able to get the words out. Even now I want to take them all back, have Elena reverse time and erase the last five minutes. A satisfied smirk appears on her face and I know she’s finding pleasure in my turmoil.

  My heart pounds out in angst waiting for Sam’s response. Even the wait staff has paused with ears perked. Bless me now. “Excuse us for a moment,” Sam says under his breath while taking up my hand and leading me outside, safe from prying ears and eyes, apart from for the Keepers who followed us out here.

  Sam paces back and forth for a moment while I stand helplessly next to his truck. This is it, the moment that could shatter us into irrevocable shards. Glass cuts as sharp as razor blades and his next words could be a guillotine to our hearts.

  "One day, one hour, one minute then our time will come, and two shall forever be one," he says softly to himself. His lips come together and then open as if he’s about to speak again. He takes my hand up in his. “Alright we’ll do this your way. I know it’s my fault for moving so far from you and I understand your reasons for not wanting to be fully committed to me while I’m thousands of miles away. And for eight years. But clarify your terms.”

  I blink back several times not believing he is taking this so well. “First, do you know that I honestly love you? I hope that this isn’t hurting you in any way, because th
at is not my intention.”

  “I can feel how much you love me Brennen and that’s why I’m going along with this. I know that you and I share something that no one can replicate.” There’s a bite to his words. He’s fighting for me. He will not be deterred by my words. He and Elijah are both steadfast in this.

  “I feel the same way Sam. I’m not saying I want to date someone else but I want us going on with our lives while we’re away. Maybe it will mean we’ll flirt at parties or invite a date to dinner and meet new people. But that is what these years are for, to network, form bonds with new friends, learn about how big the world is outside of Sandbridge, Virginia, sow oats and stuff. And when we’re home or together, we can still date of course. So it’s not that we’re breaking up, we are just changing our status to dating.”

  He stands with his back to me for a moment soaking all of my words in, finally he turns to me. “Alright but I have one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “Don’t ask, don’t tell. If you’re going on a date with some other dude, tell me you’re going to study or some other lie. I just don’t want to know okay."

  “I agree, I can’t bear to think of you with anyone else either. But I certainly don’t want it confirmed in my face when there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “And this is a trial, if at any point either of us is more hurt than we would have been just ending things all together then we call bullshit,” he says still pacing nervously.

  “What about worst case scenario?” I ask.

  He stops pacing and pins me against his truck. Kissing me unexpectedly and hungrily. I cave into him just as needy. His hand rides up my thigh as if his life depended on my very skin to survive.

  “I’ll take my chances,” he whispers in my ear as he rakes my neck with his tongue.