My Soul to Save (Soul Keeper)

by Melissa Solis

  "The pleasure is all mine ladies." I'm in room four D if you need anything."

  I'm shocked he didn't follow his line with, "Anything at all." His eyes never leave Lexi's.

  Our room is on the second floor and the halls are littered with people moving in.

  "As my roommate you have to come with me to the mixer," Lexi says latching onto my arm. The thought of mingling with others makes me cringe. But I know Elena will also urge me to go. Apparently my destiny will be hinged on whether or not I'm popular.

  "Alright I'll go with you." Satisfied with my allegiance, Lexi lets go of my arm and skips down the hall like a first grader. Swinging her ponytail side to side while she sings, Teenage Dream. My eyes widen in wonder at hurricane Lexi. Inside, I carefully unpack my suitcases and make my bed up. The common room has an ordinary small desk with a chair and a pretty fireplace along one wall, opposite two large windows.

  "Elena, poof us an adorable sofa in the common room while we're gone."

  "Oh don't worry, Ethan Allen is delivering furniture tomorrow."

  "No, Elena. No one here has designer furniture. You'll make me look like an ass. Just find something simple that looks like you got it at a garage sale."

  "How about an estate sale."

  "Elena."

  "Fine have it your way."

  Later that night, Lexi and I head down to the basement of Grays dorm, the phone buzzing in my purse stops me right before we reach the entrance. I glance down, and notice Sam is calling. He hasn’t heard from me all day, and I’m sure he wants to know how the move went.

  “Lexi hang on, I have to take this.” The momentum of the bass pumping from inside pulls her in and she nods before opening the door. I press the talk button just as the door opens, great he probably thinks I’m living it up already.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey beautiful. Are you busy?” I bite my bottom lip at how sad he sounds. The guilty feeling in my stomach has me ready to take a knee. I cringe down to the floor just upstairs from the basement.

  “No I’m not busy. Just getting settled in.” Scores of people keep filtering down to the mixer paying me no mind as they pass by.

  “Are you at a party? I can talk to you later if you’d rather.” My sweet Sam, he sounds so lost. I can picture him right now, he’s probably sitting on the fence rail looking out over his green pastures, lit only by the moon.

  I head back upstairs, the music fades away as I do. “No I love talking to you. I love you.” I plop down on my bed.

  “And I love you. Do you want to tell me all about your day? You sound kind of sad.”

  “I am kind of sad. I haven’t seen you in months and it hasn’t gotten any easier you know.”

  “I know.” I hear him sigh a ragged breath and I can bet that he’s crying a little right now. My insides twist into a knot. I hate this. I stare at my bare walls and hear the laughter of people out in the hall. It all just makes me want to hop in my car and run to him. Never look back.

  We’re both quiet on the phone for a while.

  “Let’s switch to video, you can show me what your dorm looks like,” he offers. We switch to video chat and I nailed it, he’s outside, I can barely make out his face in the dark. “You look beautiful. You always do.”

  “I hate feeling this way.”

  “I feel the same way. Classes start Monday, maybe it will take our minds off of it.”

  “Yeah, I guess it’s the worst when we have a lot of downtime. The internship helped.”

  “Yeah I know, Dad kept me pretty busy getting the new ranch up and running. But now it’s done, and your there and I’m here, and it flipping sucks babe.” He sighs out again and now he’s in the barn and I can see him better. His rich brown eyes are glassy and his soft lips look so kissable right now. I hate that I can’t touch him or comfort him.

  “Alright I’m going to give you the tour, but the place is bare right now. My roommate is pretty cool, her name is Lexi and she’s from L.A. This is my bed.” A dusty purple duvet in the softest cotton I’ve ever felt, covers the bed. A small picture of Sam and I sitting under our tree in high school graces my nightstand, along with a glass lamp in the shape of a frog.

  True to her word, Elena has already magically furnished our common room. Two small cream colored sofas, a rickety looking coffee table that's covered in nine layers of different shades of paint, and a leopard print chair make a cute U-shaped seating arrangement. A bright red shag rug centers it all with flare. I had to hand it to her she did have good taste.

  “Your dorm looks really nice. I heard Grays was very well appointed.”

  “Thanks. Honestly I’m a little glad you’re not living on campus at Baylor.”

  “Oh why’s that?” he asks smiling. And the gesture warms my heart.

  “I don’t know I guess I’ll sleep better knowing you’re sleeping next door to your sisters, verses a beautiful freshman.”

  The smile drops from his face and hurt crosses over his features. “Oh, and you think I won’t be losing any sleep knowing your surrounded by intelligent, rich, and eligible men. And that you’re officially single?”

  My heart bottoms out and I don’t know what to say. I blink back the tears and my chest heaves ready to cave in at any moment.

  My lower lips quivers and I turn away from him. When I finally glance back, he cuts me a pained look and hangs up the phone. I stare at the black screen for ages. I don't know what just happened. Just a moment ago we were smiling and laughing, then my stupid big fat mouth went and derailed it all with one comment.

  Obviously spying on me, Inara comes into the room and sits on my bed. “You heard all that?” I ask. She nods and puts her arm around me. She begins soothing me with her calm voice, telling me everything is going to be fine. She tells me I need to give him some space.

  “I can’t believe he hung up on me.”

  “He’s hurting, you’re hurting. If it’s one thing I’ve learned, people do things they regret later when pain is the over ruling emotion.” Inara’s words may be true, but they do little to help ease my pain.

  *~*~*

  I wake up to Lexi coming in very late at night or early in the morning. She tries to be quiet getting into bed but I’m a light sleeper. I peek at my phone to see if Sam may have sent a text or some sort of communication. But the alerts field is blank. Great.

  “You missed a great party Bren Bren.” She slurs out. They may not have been serving alcohol, but it seems my new friend found some anyway.

  “Sorry Lexi, Sam and I sort of had a fight, and I didn’t feel like coming down.”

  “Es okay. I still love you.” I hear her head hit the pillow with the finality of a drunken slumber.

  I must have fallen asleep after Inara talked to me or she used her gifts to induce a mini coma. I was still very tired and emotionally drained. I slip back to sleep with ease.

  Monday morning rolls around and I still haven’t heard a word from Sam. Inara is on the phone with Will, Sam’s Keeper to find out what’s going on with him. I think Inara secretly has a thing for Will, so she didn’t mind the inquiry.

  Lexi has already headed to her early morning class and I need to leave soon as well.

  “Will says that after he hung up with you he threw his phone at the wall and it shattered. So that would explain why he didn’t talk to you that night, but he got a replacement yesterday. Will thinks Sam feels terrible and doesn’t know what to do to make it right.”

  “Should I call him?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea Brennen. Let him work it out on his own. Trust me.”

  I resign myself to follow her advice. After all, they have access to glimpses of my future. They are old and wise and seem to have good intentions for my heart.

  I can't help but light up my phone every five minutes to see if he's contacted me in any form. Each time hurts a little more that he hasn't responded. I keep telling myself it's the first day of school. He's just busy. I should be engrossed in my own first
day of college but I'm only there in body. My mind is everywhere but where it should be.

  Lexi is still not back from her classes yet. I shut the door to my room and stretch out over my bed. I hear Elena and Inara arguing quietly next door. I put my ear to the wall and listen.

  "She needs to forget about Sam, the boy is going to hurt her one day soon and the damage will be irreversible," Elena whispers.

  "Emmagen is new to reading the oracle, she could have misinterpreted what she saw."

  "Could you really deduct any other logical explanation from what we saw?"

  Silence. What in the world are they talking about? Sam's going to hurt me how? He's already breaking my heart. But I deserve it. I can't believe how insensitive I was to his feelings, it's no wonder why he hasn't called me back yet.

  I text Sam, "Hope your first day went well. I'm sorry about the other day. It was selfish of me to make you feel like I didn't trust you. I know you'd never hurt me intentionally."

  As soon as I hit send, I get a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. Like maybe Sam did just that, hurt me. What if he was so angry, he went out and hooked up with some girl just to take his mind off of me? Maybe that's just what Elena was talking about. I start to panic again.

  Sam texts back, "No I'm sorry. I've been wanting to apologize for days. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose you. I'm sorry I hung up on you and that I got angry with you."

  We end up telling each other about our day and after he says good bye I still feel uneasy. Something is nagging in the pit of my stomach and I have no idea what it is.

  Chapter 14 ~ Memories Like Mine

  I'm one month into my freshman year at Harvard. My roommate Lexi and I sit in "The Yard" with our morning coffee and a book. The air is crisp and cool. This is my favorite time of the year. Fall is on its haunches, waiting to cover the twenty-five acre lawn in its leaves. Pumpkin Spice has taken over in every Starbucks . There's just nothing better.

  My thoughts drift to Sam and how much I miss him. Lexi sees me reach for my phone and scoops it up.

  "Nope, you can't text him until after our study break." She already knows me. I sigh out and continue to stare at my book without actually reading it. After Sam and I's rift, things have felt awkward. I don't think we'll will ever be the same. Sam is leery and he has every right to be. I just hope we can hold on until break. School has helped ease the suffering, but nothing can fully erase the hole in my heart I have for him.

  Emily sends me a postcard every week from a different place in Europe. Sometimes I still wish I would have went with her. Then the sane part of me remebers I'm being hunted, and I'd only put her in danger. I miss her simple goodness and I wonder how much this year will change her. My little Em's has never been outside of Norfolk, much less a new country wth strange customs and languages.

  Jesson takes a seat next to me in the grass. He stretches out his long legs and knocks his Vans together as if he were Dorothy.

  "Holy crap, what are you doing here?"

  "It seems I made bail. Professor Whitmore gave me the morning off."

  "Who's your friend, Brennen?" Lexi asks looking a bit irritated that her morning routine just got interrupted. I had no idea Jesson would stalk me all the way to Massachusetts, but I can tell he wants me pretend like he's been here all along. He must be ready to stick around for a while.

  "Lexi, meet my former vice president Jesson."

  "I thought you said you didn't know anyone else here."

  "Well, he's nobody. So I wasn't exaggerating now was I?" Jesson smirks and shoves me over.

  "Now why would you admonish me to anything less than BFF's?"

  "Unless that stands for "Bubbling frog fart," then I'm sure I have it right."

  "Be that way then. But I've got news I think you'll want to hear," he quips out before getting up to go. Lexi perks up her brows at the mention of good gossip. I roll my eyes and give Jesson the precede gesture. "Sorry but this is for your ears only."

  Great, Lexi will beat me to death in my sleep until I tell her what it is. She hates to be out of the loop. "I'll see you after Econ." She saunters off, her long flowing ponytail swishing behind her like the ribbon on a kite. Lexi could bring out the inner cheerleader in anyone.

  "So what's the word?" I ask lying on my back studying the branches of red and gold leaves above me. He pulls up next to me and leans in to my ear.

  "Let's just say your favorite white haired oracle reader is free. Safe and sound in Amorous. Well, recovering at any rate."

  "By Elijah's hand?"

  "Yes, he's completed his first redemption."

  "Good for him." I say readying myself for class.

  "Depends on if he made a deal for Nehemiah's freedom or if he did it under their noses. The later would mean he was being punished as we speak."

  "Elijah will be fine soon enough," I say pleading more for my own sanity than Jesson's.

  "You don't know that."

  "Not for sure, but my mother said when you came back around, Elijah would show up shortly after."

  "That vision could take place years from now, you just don't know." He pauses a moment and I can almost see the light bulb go off in his head. "But I know who would know."

  He grabs my arm and whips me around. Elena and Inara get all huffy at the way he's handling me. He backs down for a moment but as soon as we round the corner he takes my arm again. I go to pull away but his grip is too strong.

  He closes his eyes and I know what's coming. In the next instant we are transported to the In-Between.

  "Not only can Nehemiah give us more details, but he can give you back your memories."

  "No, Jesson I'm not doing it! Take me back, I have to get to class."

  "No! Not until you get your memories back."

  "He's right Brennen," Elena says popping up beside us. They have me cornered like a feral cat on the loose.

  "You people can't play around with someone's memories like they were a game of cards. Don’t you dare let him touch me again."

  Inara comes up from behind me and injects my arm with something. Before I can protest, my world fades to black.

  *~*~*

  My eyes crack open and take in the fact that I am back in my dorm and in my bed. They've done it. They've mixed my two histories, two realities together. Now they’ve both happened. And now, I feel the full weight of my love for Elijah and for Sam. I try and shake the thought of loving anyone but Sam out of my head but I can tell that I'm way too far gone for that. Oh God, what have I done? What have they done? I don't want to be in love with two people again. Anger builds inside of me at the mess they've made in my head again.

  I bolt out of bed and find Elena and Inara sitting in the common room.

  "I'm done. Done with Harvard, done with being your puppet. I'm booking the next flight to Texas and I'm through." I say sinking down to the floor in tears.

  "Oh honey, I'm so sorry it had to be this way. Tell us how we can help."

  “You! You let that nut-job rifle around in my brain Elena. How could you?” I get off the floor and shove Elena into the fireplace mantle.

  She narrows her eyes in response and in less than a second, she’s got me turned around and pinned in her arms as tightly as a rope could. “You don’t want me on your bad side, Brennen. I don’t play fair and I don’t fight that way either.”

  “Let me go, Elena.” I struggle in her arms and she doesn’t budge an inch.

  “Elena, let her go,” Inara finally chimes in. Elena eases her grip on me slowly. As soon as she lets go I run out the door and outside.

  “Jesson? Jesson?” I call out as I keep running, bare feet and all. I look across the courtyard and between the dorms and then I run straight into him.

  “Whoa, Bren. Are you alright?” he asks as he catches me like a well-received punt.

  “No! I’m not alright Jesson. Why’d you do it? Why is everyone so hell bent on controlling me?”

  Elena catches up to me easily and stands just out of my reach. �
�Elena get away from me right now. Or I swear…”

  Jesson steps between the two of us. “Hey I can keep an eye on her for a bit, I’ll get her back to the dorm in a little while,” he tells Elena. She throws her hands in the air and walks away mumbling under her breath.

  “Thanks, but I’m still ticked at you.”

  “I’d be ticked at me too if I were you. But I’m not trying to control you, far from it. If anyone is on your side it’s me, Bren. I wish you could see that.” We walk over to a nearby bench and take a seat.

  Jesson opens his arms and offers a hug. I settle into his shoulder and we just sit for a while. My memories are clear, but some overlap, and it gives me a head ache when I try and sort it out. It feels awful knowing someone has been poking around with my precious memories.

  One in particular keeps coming back, front and center of my thoughts.

  “They told me that Sam attacked me but, now…”

  “Now you remember it?” Jesson asks and I nod quietly. I keep seeing Sam’s face contorted into a mask of murderous rage. Nothing in his eyes but hate for me. My stomach flips over inside and I shiver with the rest of the memory. My sweet Sam.

  “I’m sorry Brennen. I didn’t even think about how you would have to deal with that again.”

  “I don’t feel well I think I’d better get back.”

  “Come on.” Jesson supports my weight as the nausea over takes me. I barely make it back inside the dorm room, I’m so dizzy.

  "I have to tell him I'm sorry," I say sinking on to the sofa. Jesson grips my hand with his cool fingers.

  "Who?"

  "Elijah, of course."

  "No one’s seen him in months Brennen."

  “No, not since he saved me from the Hell Hounds. Elena scared him off just like she always does.”

  "Look, Elijah never doubted that your love wasn't real for a minute Brennen. But if he does come to find you..."

  "I know, stay away from him. He could be dangerous." If I have this drilled into my head one more time I may combust. “Thanks for the ear Jesson, but I think I’m going to get some rest.”