Only in My Dreams

by Darcy Burke

  As if sensing her quest, he put his thumb on her clit, and she exploded. She was aware that he continued to thrust, registered the extreme pleasure radiating from her core.

  He rolled her over so that he was on top, his cock driving into her. “Sorry,” he muttered darkly, “I just needed to . . . ”

  She pulled his head down and kissed him as he’d done to her. He groaned into her mouth. She widened her legs and wrapped them around him, drawing him in deep. She clasped his back and moved one hand to his ass. So muscular, so tight.

  He pounded into her a few more times and then shouted. She lifted her hips to meet him, giving him, she hoped, the ecstasy he’d given her. At last, they slowed.

  He brushed her hair back from her face and smiled softly. “Damn, Sara.”

  It was the very best thing he could’ve said. Her lips spread into a wide grin as exhaustion washed over her.

  He withdrew from her and left the bed. She heard the bathroom door close.

  She tossed some of the pillows away and pulled back the covers. Crawling between the sheets, she didn’t think her bed had ever felt so deliciously good. No, she’d never felt so good. Sleep was typically an elusive beast, but not tonight.

  Swiping the necklace off—she’d never look at that the same way again—she tossed it on the bedside table. She curled to her side, closed her eyes, and fell instantly asleep.

  Chapter Three

  Three weeks later

  SARA STARED AT the tabletop in the gathering room of her childhood home. It was the first time they’d all sat here since Alex had died two and a half weeks ago. As usual, the sides were uneven—four chairs on one, three on the other. But it wouldn’t be in the future. There were only six of them now, and the chairs would be equal on both sides. That symmetry would appeal to Evan, but glancing at her brother, she knew he’d trade it in a heartbeat to have Alex back.

  “Thank you for coming, as Alex requested.” The crisp, business-like tone of Alex’s attorney, Aubrey Tallinger, filled the room and drew Sara back to the present. The cold, depressing present.

  Next to Sara, Mom blew her nose and lowered the tissue to her lap. Her eyes were red, and her blonde hair appeared lackluster because she’d stopped spending much time on it. Instinctively, Sara reached out and touched her shoulder. Mom turned and gave her an appreciative nod just as her fingers closed over Sara’s for a quick squeeze. Though Mom moved her hand to her lap, Sara kept a hold on her shoulder. Sara needed that anchor right now to calm her overstimulated senses.

  “Get on with it, then,” Dad said, his voice perpetually darkened with unshed tears. Where Mom’s face was blotchy, Dad’s was a bit gray. It matched the strands of hair on his head that were overtaking the dark brown at a seemingly faster rate in the past two weeks.

  Aubrey, standing at the end of the table where Mom usually sat, opposite Dad, smoothed her shoulder-length, wavy red hair behind her ear and gave a small nod. Sara didn’t envy her. Being the focus of attention at the best of times was enough to wind Sara into a knot, but on a day like today, when her insides were threatening to erupt into some sort of breakdown, it was all she could do to simply sit still.

  Be calm, Sara. Focus on what’s happening. You can be here. She squeezed her mother’s shoulder to ground herself. Mom had always been the strength at the heart of their family. But how would she do that with a piece of her heart gone? At least that’s what Sara imagined it must feel like to lose a child, even a twenty-seven-year-old one.

  Aubrey gently cleared her throat. “Alex set up a trust last year.” Wait, how long had he been planning to kill himself? Sara’s insides churned. “The beneficiaries are his siblings: Liam, Kyle, Tori, Evan, Sara, Hayden, and Derek.”

  As she said each name, Sara looked around the table. Her brothers and sister filled her with joy and angst—blessings and curses all rolled together. She only wished she could find the joy and the blessings. Lately, they were like dreams, intangible and fleeting.

  “What are we benefitting?” Hayden, the youngest by just over a year, sat directly across from Sara. His light brown hair was ruffled, like he’d tossed and turned all night and hadn’t bothered to tame it. His mouth was pressed into a grim line, making him look a million miles from the lighthearted, affable brother who made them all laugh and put himself before pretty much anyone else.

  “A property.” Aubrey clasped her hands in front of her. “Alex used his inheritance from your grandfather to purchase the old Ridgeview Monastery. He wants all of you to come back to—or stay in—Ribbon Ridge and convert the monastery into a premier hotel as part of Archers’ entertainment brand.”

  Liam held up a hand. “Whoa. What does that mean?” He glanced around the table before pinning Aubrey with a dark stare. He hadn’t cried once that Sara had seen, but then he’d always been the strongest of them, the leader. He and Alex were supposed to look identical, but they’d never seemed that way to Sara. Liam was healthier, more vital, more confident. She’d expected him to lose a bit of his swagger, and she supposed he had. But he still didn’t look weak. She wasn’t sure he could.

  Aubrey cocked her head to the side. “He wanted you all to reunite in Ribbon Ridge to oversee the transformation of the monastery into a hotel and restaurant.”

  “He just expected us to drop our lives and come back here?” Liam growled, his blue-gray eyes dark with pain and anger. He’d already complained about having to spend so much time away from Denver the past couple of weeks, though he’d flown back and forth twice since Alex’s death.

  Dad shot Liam an irritated look. “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing, I guess, for some people.” Liam’s gaze shifted from Kyle, who was directly across from him, to Sara at the opposite end of the table. She got why Liam had looked at Kyle, but at her? Was it because she lived only forty minutes away?

  Sara’s defenses kicked up. She let go of Mom and put her hand in her lap. “Why are you looking at me?” Agitated, she fingered the edges of her sleeves. The tiny ridges of the cuff of her sweatshirt stroked across the pads of her thumbs and fingers. She focused on the small detail, using it to soothe her inner turmoil before she spun up into a rare sensory meltdown.

  Liam shrugged, but it was the kind that carried a chill, as if he could barely be bothered to be here. “It’s easy for you to come home. You practically are home.”

  She looked at him sharply. “But I’m not. Like you, I run a successful business.” Not as large as his real estate empire, but Sara Archer Celebrations was nothing to scoff at. “I can’t just pick up and move home.”

  Liam’s eyes narrowed but he quickly looked away. Sara bit her tongue. She wanted to rail at him—at all of them. Emotions she’d buried for so long bubbled up, but she swallowed them back. None of them realized how hard it had been for her to move even forty minutes away or the sense of accomplishment that gave her.

  Coming back to Ribbon Ridge would interrupt the life she’d built for herself and thrust her back into a situation where she was labeled and coddled and . . . forget it. Her muscles tensed.

  “Shall I continue?” Aubrey asked quietly.

  “Please,” Mom said with an edge of frustration.

  Aubrey gave a subtle nod. “Like the pubs your father’s company owns, the hotel will pour Archer brews, and its restaurant will also offer five-star cuisine under the direction of Kyle.”

  Everyone’s gaze snapped to Kyle, seated at the end of Sara’s side of the table. Despite his tan, he looked washed out, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, not at all like the carefree beach bum who’d run to south Florida nearly four years ago. His blue-green eyes found hers and he shook his head, his jaw clenching.

  Sara wanted to kick him. An opportunity was falling into his lap, and his reaction was to act like he didn’t want it? It shouldn’t have surprised her given how he’d ditched town, but it still hurt. She peered at him around Mom and Tori, who sat between them. “You should consider it.”

  He
showed no sign that he’d heard her.

  Mom clasped Sara’s hand. “Your sister’s right. I hope you’ll at least think about it.”

  When Kyle still didn’t respond, Aubrey coughed delicately. “You’ll each own one-seventh of the property and the businesses on the property, which Alex envisioned as a hotel and restaurant at a minimum. He set aside specific roles for each of you.”

  Liam shook his head. “I already have a job.”

  Kyle crossed his arms and glared across the table at Liam. “Because your life is so much more important than anyone else’s. It’s fine for me and Sara, and probably everyone else, to come home, but not you?”

  “I didn’t say that, but as long as you mentioned it . . . ” Liam leaned forward and set his elbows on the table, fixing Kyle with a probing stare. “Just what’s keeping you from coming back here and honoring Alex’s wish? Your überimportant bartending job? The roots you haven’t put down in Florida?”

  Kyle’s eyes flashed. “Don’t make assumptions.”

  “Am I wrong?”

  “You’re an arrogant prick.”

  Liam shrugged, but the tense set of his shoulders said he was anything but nonchalant. “An arrogant prick who’s apparently right.”

  “Boys.” Mom’s voice quavered, but it earned everyone’s attention. “I know we’re all hurting. Please don’t take it out on each other.”

  Tori blew her nose, which was red from crying. Without makeup and with her long, straight, auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looked young and vulnerable, a word she’d hate to be used to describe her. Tori was as type A as people came. She turned her head toward Aubrey. “You said Kyle is supposed to manage the restaurant. I assume Alex wants—wanted—me to design the hotel?” It made sense because she was an architect at a firm in San Francisco that designed high-end hotels and restaurants around the world.

  Aubrey nodded. “Yes. Liam would oversee the entire project; Evan, the technical aspects of the business; Sara would establish the property as a premier entertainment space; Hayden would manage the hotel; and Derek would work the financials.”

  Hayden linked his fingers together on the tabletop. His lips pressed together in annoyance as he glanced at Liam. “We all have jobs. I can’t just stop working for Archer Enterprises to manage this hotel.”

  Liam nodded in agreement. “Exactly. I sure as hell can’t walk away from my business in Denver.”

  “You’ve made that pretty clear.” Evan’s deep voice drew everyone’s notice. He bent his head back toward the table where his fingers were systematically taking a pen apart and putting it back together again. He hadn’t cried either, but he kept everything to himself for the most part, which made it hard to determine what he was feeling, if anything. Sara never pressed him—she alone knew what it was like to be so overwhelmed by your surroundings that you simply couldn’t process anything.

  Aubrey looked around the table. “Alex knew you’d be resistant. He wanted me to remind you that he’s never asked anything of any one of you, and while you were off pursuing your dreams, he was stuck here, hooked to an oxygen tank and visiting doctors on a weekly basis. He hoped you would pull together to try to rebuild the family you once had.”

  Is that how Alex had seen it? Sara glanced at Derek, whose face was stoic but who had nodded while Aubrey spoke. His dark blue eyes were a bit bloodshot, likely from all the hours he was putting in at Archer Enterprises. Work soothed him, or so he said.

  Derek made no secret that he didn’t understand why they’d all left home. He’d come to live with them after being orphaned at seventeen. Though he’d never been formally adopted, he was as much a part of their family as any of them. “You should all come, even if it’s only intermittently as your schedule allows. Every single one of you can make that happen,” he said quietly. “You’re a family, and you should feel damn lucky to have each other.”

  “Except we can’t ever be that family again,” Tori said softly. “Not without him.”

  Derek’s eyes lit like a fire had been stoked behind them. “Even more reason to do it. What else will it take for you to appreciate what you have?” His gaze lingered on Kyle—they’d been best friends before Derek had joined their family and up until Kyle had left. The precise reason for their rift was unknown to anyone but them, and it was clearly as wide as ever.

  Sara wanted to crawl out of her skin. The anxiety and tension building inside of her were reaching a fever pitch. If she didn’t move, she was going to freak out. She leapt out of her chair and walked around the table to the windows.

  Without turning to look at the table, Sara knew every single one of them had watched her get up. A few might even be tempted to come after her to offer help. She hoped they wouldn’t.

  “Sara?” The question came from Aubrey, and Sara’s shoulders sagged with relief. She didn’t want to be coddled, but she knew she was breaking down. Damn it, she thought she’d moved past all of this.

  “She’s fine,” Mom said. “She needs to get up and move around.”

  Sara turned back toward the table. The only person still watching her was Kyle. Unable to make eye contact, Sara crossed her arms and tried to disguise the clenching of her muscles. Hopefully this infernal meeting would be over soon. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

  Aubrey cleared her throat. “I know this is an emotional time, and you can certainly think about—”

  “I’ll do it.” Tori sat straighter in her chair and pressed a kiss to the back of Mom’s hand. “I’ll take a leave of absence from work and come home.”

  Mom smiled at Tori, though a tear tracked from the corner of her eye.

  Aubrey relaxed, and a small, relieved smile broke over her. “You will?”

  Tori looked around the table. “Yes, and I expect the rest of you to come with me. Liam, you can take a leave too—you have capable people working for you, and you can certainly have a foot in each place. Just fly yourself back and forth for heaven’s sake.” Tori turned to Kyle, who was seated on her right. “And there’s absolutely no reason you can’t come home. Consider it your chance to make up for your sudden, inexplicable departure four years ago.” Then she looked across the table at Hayden and Derek. “You’re both already here. You’ll help, right?” She looked up at Sara. “And you’re pretty much here already.”

  No question for Sara, just the same assumption Liam had made—that she’d never really “left” in the first place. Which wasn’t true. Sara had left, and coming home would feel like a massive step backward—probably because deep inside she felt like she needed it. No, I’ve overcome this. I am not the same girl they grew up with. I am successful and capable, and I don’t need them.

  Derek turned to Evan on his right so that both had their backs to Sara. “What about you, Evan?”

  Evan didn’t look up. Sara knew he was listening, but that he might be a beat or two behind—and he wasn’t likely making an effort to keep up. The pen came apart again in his skillful fingers.

  Tori frowned at Derek. “Evan can do his tech stuff from home.”

  Evan lived in Washington, about two hours from Ribbon Ridge, but he rarely left his apartment. Coming down here a couple of times a year was about all he could handle. He worked from home and was content to be alone most of the time. Typical Tori to give him a pass and no one else.

  After a long, strained moment, Aubrey clasped her hands and looked expectantly around the table. “Who else is in?”

  “Not me.” Liam’s response was quick and definitive.

  “Me neither.” Kyle’s came on the heels of Liam’s.

  Mom’s shoulders drooped. “I’m disappointed in both of you.”

  Hayden looked down the table and shook his head at Liam and Kyle. “You’re a couple of tools. You’ve spent the past five years doing whatever you damn well please while I’ve been here helping Dad with the business and helping Mom with Alex. You can’t manage to get your asses back here for even six months to get this project off the ground?”r />
  “You know it wouldn’t be six months,” Liam said.

  “It could be, just to get it started. My point is, you aren’t willing to offer anything.”

  Liam turned in his chair and leaned around Evan to look down at Hayden. “Listen, I’ll do what I can from Denver. Maybe I can come back now and then if you guys need some direction.”

  “I think we can handle it fine.” Derek’s tone was frigid, and though Sara couldn’t see his face, she imagined he looked as cold as he sounded. “Really. Don’t trouble yourself.”

  “So far that’s Tori and Sara, plus Derek and Hayden who are already here?” Aubrey clarified.

  “Sara didn’t actually say,” Kyle interjected. His gaze was supportive and reminded her of years gone by when he’d been her chief advocate. She wanted to be happy about him sticking up for her, but she was too wound up.

  She avoided looking at any of them, instead fixating on the refrigerator. “I’ll come.”

  She hadn’t been completely sure she was going to say it until the words left her mouth. And now, as they echoed in her head, she felt a surge of panic. She’d built a successful event planning business and the momentum she could lose by stepping away . . . Rationality fought for traction in her brain—she had a great assistant who would watch over things while she helped out here. Six months maximum. It was a temporary thing. She could do it for Alex and for Mom.

  Mom’s head came up to find Sara near the windows. She mouthed, “Thank you.” Her appreciation and relief soothed Sara’s turmoil. Mom had been such an integral part of her life—and still was—Sara felt a pull to be here for her.

  Liam got up from the table. “I need to get back to Denver. Can I refuse my portion of the trust?”

  “You can’t, actually.” Aubrey’s eyes narrowed slightly. “The trust is set up so that any of you can come back and claim your share at any time. Alex expected some of you might not jump on board immediately.”