He didn't sound angry, but her internal alarm clamored. Something felt wrong. She ushered Brand and Raven into her cabin, giving them pieces of bread to feed the lanraxes.
She went to the cockpit. Staring out the portal, Chase appeared to be deep in thought. He turned at her entry, and her heart skipped when she saw his resolute expression. Uneasiness snaked through her. She sensed he was about to convey unwelcome news.
He gestured to her seat. "Sit down."
She sank into the seat, tension stiffening her spine.
"I want to apologize for my aggressive physical behavior toward you. I realize I took advantage of your emotional state the first time we mated. That should never have happened. But more unforgivable was the second time, since you made it quite clear you had no desire to repeat the experience. That night in my cabin, I was not …" he paused and cleared his throat, "… thinking clearly, and I wasn't aware of your reluctance."
Mystified, she tried to grasp his meaning. She realized he was talking about the two times they'd mated, but he made no sense. She hadn't been aware of expressing any reluctance to mate with him. At least, not until she thought he expected it because she owed him.
True, she'd been fearful, of the pain and exposing her scarred body, but not unwilling. She hadn't even thought of resisting, especially during the heated frenzy Chase's touch had triggered. But he didn't need to know that.
He blew out his breath and leaned forward. "Nessa, I never intended to obligate you sexually in any way. I know I said you owed me whatever I wanted, but that didn't mean I expected you to mate with me against your will. I wouldn't demand that of anyone, not even in payment of a debt. I said some foolish things in anger. I apologize."
She mentally reviewed his words. He had just told her he hadn't expected her to mate with him, unless she chose to. But if he didn't think it her duty, and if he didn't find her appealing, why would he even approach her? Shock prompted her to blurt, "Then why?"
He shook his head. "Why what?"
Chagrined by her impulsive question, she looked away.
"Tell me, Nessa."
She needed to control her reactions better. Questions still burned in her mind, but she didn't really want to delve into Chase's reasons for mating with her. She had no desire to risk further humiliation or reminders of her lack of appeal. She rotated her seat away. "It doesn't matter, Captain. There's nothing to apologize for. I'm not upset about what happened."
A long moment of silence hung between them before Chase said, "All right, then. There's something else I need to tell you."
His voice held the tone that had alarmed her earlier. Nessa pivoted around. He sat back in his seat, watching her. "I might as well inform you directly, since you always discover our destination on your own. We're no longer headed for Star Base Intrepid."
She felt as though the breath had been knocked from her body. No! So little time remained. "You can't do that!" she gasped, rising from her chair. "I have to get to Intrepid. I have to!"
Chase's eyes took on the cold, distant look she both dreaded and hated. "I must go to Odera on urgent business. Not that I have to explain my decisions to you."
Shaking, she came around the console to the side of his chair. "What about my business? It's urgent, too. And you gave your word. Several times now."
His face hardened into a mask of determination. "My business can't wait."
Her heart threatened to burst through her chest. "Neither can mine."
"I've checked the date of your eclipse on Zirak. It's not for ten days yet. We'll arrive at Odera tomorrow, and depart within one ship cycle. Three days to Intrepid, four days from there to Zirak. You'll make it, just as I promised. Assuming you can purchase passage."
That would get her to Zirak in nine days. Then she still had to get to Santerra, another two days. She grabbed Chase's arm. "I must be there sooner, to prepare for the ceremony."
His icy gaze bored through her. "Sorry. I can't get you there any sooner."
She tightened her grip on his arm. "But why? What is so pressing you can't take me to Intrepid first?"
He pried her hand off his arm. "It's not your concern, or your place to ask. I won't have my actions questioned. You're dismissed from the cockpit."
He stood, towering over her. "Go on."
Nessa dug her nails into her hand to resist the urge to grab him again. "Captain, please! You don't understand."
"What don't I understand?"
She saw no compassion or gentleness in his eyes, only a fathomless wall of indifference. The eyes of a shadower. Predator of all Shielders. She couldn't reveal the truth to him. Not even after all the intimacies between them; not even after his tender care of the children.
For ten seasons, she'd endured the bitter lash of betrayal from her own people. How much swifter and harsher would the treachery be at the hands of a shadower? Especially a shadower under the influence of Controller indoctrination.
"You don't understand honor," she retorted.
Rage flickered in his eyes. "Honor? You question my honor—you, who lied to me on at least two occasions? You, who refused to obey orders? You have a lot to learn about honor, lady. Leave the cockpit. Now."
She fled to the corridor, leaning against the wall to catch her breath. A sense of doom threatened to suffocate her. She wasn't going to make it to Santerra in time. Not only would she suffer a hideous death, but her failure could result in the annihilation of her people. Unless she came up with another solution quickly, one that would enable her to travel directly to Santerra without further delay.
Unless …
She hijacked Chase's ship while he was on Odera tomorrow.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Nessa paused outside Chase's cabin and nervously smoothed her robe. She didn't have to go through with it. She could still change her mind.
Oh, but she wanted this.
She wanted to feel the sensual excitement Chase roused when he kissed her, when he touched her. Wanted to again enjoy the incredible explosion of pleasure she'd experienced in the shower. A part of her felt mortified at these wanton urgings, while another part of her longed for one last time in Chase's arms.
After tomorrow, she'd never again have that opportunity. Even if she arrived at Santerra in time, and survived the Orana, she wasn't foolish enough to expect any man to be interested in her.
But Chase had mated with her twice and apparently had planned to a third time. He had been willing to join his body with hers, even if strictly out of sexual need.
She'd replayed the odd conversation with him today over and over in her mind, yet didn't really understand what he'd been trying to say. So he might well reject her tonight.
But still…this could well be her last chance to experience mating. Taking a deep breath, Nessa sounded the panel tone.
"Come in."
Her hand shaking, she punched the pad and the panel slid open. Chase lounged back in his chair, a scanner line moving down the rows of words on the monitor before him. He glanced up and his hand froze on the scanner control. He stared a long moment, taking in her robe. Tension radiated from him. "What do you want?"
Spirit, what do I say? Forcing air into her constricted chest, she stepped into the room.
"I want…" She paused, desperately seeking the right words. Her heart pounded in her chest, reverberating into her head. Licking her dry lips, she tried again. "I'm here to …" Failing miserably, she released a frustrated sigh.
Chase came out of the chair. "What is it? Is something wrong? Are the children all right?"
"Everything's fine," she assured him hastily. "The children are asleep, and—well…"
It was no good. She had no appeal, no seduction skills. Helplessly, she stared at him. He had gone utterly still, watching her with an intensity that both frightened and excited her. "Why are you here, Nessa?"
She reached deep for her lagging courage. "To be with you." Her voice shook.
"To be with me? What exactly does that mean?"
/>
Best to say it outright. "I want to mate with you."
His eyes flared, then narrowed. "I told you today I don't expect or demand sexual favors. Go back to your cabin."
In spite of her pride being rapidly shredded, she pushed on. "I understand that. I'm here because I want to mate with you."
She took a step closer, and his whole body tensed. He grasped her shoulders moving her back. "This won't change my mind about Odera."
He hadn't rejected her outright—at least, not yet. Reaching up, she slid a trembling hand down the seam of his flightsuit, opening it to his waist. "I'm not trying to change your mind about anything."
He removed her hand. "Then why are you here? You've made your distaste for mating quite clear."
With startling insight, Nessa realized Chase doubted her desire for him. He saw her inexperienced attempts at seduction only as ploys to get his cooperation. In an odd way, he needed reassurance just as much as she did. That knowledge gave her a surge of confidence.
Feeling a heady boldness, she moved closer. "I do like mating."
Bravely, she parted the seam edges of Chase's flightsuit, her breath hitching at sight of his magnificent bare chest. She slid her palm over his breast, savoring the heat and the increasing beat of his heart. "I want to do it again."
He drew a shuddering breath. "You're playing with fire, lady."
Her breathing stopped entirely, and a heated rush flowed through her veins, pooling low in her belly. Wicked desires, fueled by mental images of the Pleasure Domes, lured her to press her lips against his chest. "I'm not afraid of fire," she whispered.
Beneath her mouth, his heart pounded fiercely, as a new tension seemed to radiate from him. Grasping her chin, he tilted her face up. "This is not a game," he said roughly. "If you stay, it will be on my terms."
His harsh voice only served to heighten the desire twining through her body. "Terms?"
"You'll be completely mine tonight. You'll give yourself freely. No pretenses, no false modesty. And you'll stay with me until morning. No running away."
She should be frightened by his words, by the ultrapredatory expression in his eyes. But, Spirit help her, she only wanted him more. A growing feminine perception led her to the realization that mating, like anything else in life, should be give and take. "What about my terms?"
His hand moved from her chin, threading through her hair and tilting her head back further. "Your terms?"
She pressed both palms against his chest. His skin felt tantalizingly smooth and warm. "I'll do what you want, but in return, you'll have to give yourself freely to me."
The lines of his face sharpened as his burning scrutiny bored into her very soul. Releasing her head, he took her hand and slid it down over his erection. "Then finish what you've started."
The feel of him through the flightsuit momentarily distracted Nessa from her own rising passions. Amazed, she explored the hardness of him. "How does it get so big? Does it hurt?"
"Sweet Spirit have mercy," Chase groaned, pushing against her hand. "Let's save the biology lesson for later." He released the seam of her robe, running his finger down to where the seam ended, right at her belly button. Slipping his hand beneath the fabric, he slid it along her belly, then lower. Nessa gasped and grabbed his arms, her legs threatening to buckle.
"So you like mating, do you?" His free hand worked the robe off her shoulders.
She tried to gather her scattered thoughts as he withdrew his hand from between her legs. "Y-yes."
"Let go of me for a minute," he said, tugging on the robe. She did and the robe slid off her arms, and down her body, into a silky pool at her feet. "Now step out of it."
Nessa did as he commanded. The cool air swept over her heated skin, almost painful against her hardening nipples. But then Chase's hands were there, cupping her breasts and making her forget completely about being cold.
He backed her toward the bunk and tumbled her onto it. Finding herself sprawled across the mat in a very exposed position, she struggled to get up, but he stopped her with his hand against her shoulder. "No. Don't move. I like looking at you."
Feeling vulnerable, she sank back. He peeled off his flightsuit, all the while staring at her body. Unable to look away, she stared back. He was large and powerful all over, but her first good look at his penis drew her attention. Amazed by its size, she remembered the pain of the previous joinings, and alarm reared inside her.
Chase sat on the edge of the bunk, running his hands along her thighs. He parted them, ignoring her automatic resistance, his attention focused on her most private part. A heated flush spreading across her face, she tried to close her thighs, but he tightened his grip. "Don't. You shouldn't be embarrassed, Nessa. You're beautiful all over."
He leaned down, kissing her injured thigh, gently moving his mouth over her scar. Appalled, she battled the futile urge to yank the cover over that hated scar, to hide its ugliness from Chase. But then his lips moved higher, and logical thoughts evaporated. His hair fell in a golden veil over her leg and abdomen, whispering sensations through her body.
His breath scathingly close to her female core startled her, and she jerked against him. "All right, little innocent." With a frustrated groan, Chase raised up. "No sense shocking you too much at once. Perhaps later."
Crawling onto the bunk, he stroked his hands up her abdomen and claimed her breasts, teasing the nipples with his thumb. "So soft," he murmured. "So perfect."
His husky words were as potent as his touch. Desire careened through her, so intense, Nessa let out a little cry. She twisted toward him, grasping his shoulders as an anchor.
He settled beside her, pulling her close. She pressed against him, feeling less exposed and blessedly safe. Cupping her face up to his, he kissed her, deeply and thoroughly. She could do this all night, she thought, savoring his taste, the suggestive feel of his tongue stroking hers. She was disappointed when his mouth left hers, but only momentarily. His lips moved to her chin, her neck, her collarbone, the slope of her breast. His mouth hovered there. "I intend to find out," he whispered, his breath sending rippling chills across her skin, "exactly what it is you like so much about mating."
He kissed his way to her nipple. "Do you like this?" He drew it into his mouth and sucked. She dug her fingers into the mat as waves of sensation spread through her breast, somehow mysteriously traveling lower.
"Yes," she gasped.
A moment later, he lifted his head, his searing expression taking what little breath she had left. "I'll bet you like this." Nudging her thighs apart again, he stroked her sensitive, feminine flesh.
Heat and need flooded her. "Chase!" she cried, writhing against his hand.
"And this." He slid a finger inside her, moving it in and out.
Hurtling way past the point of modesty or pretense, she spread her thighs wider, totally of her own volition this time. "Yes. Oh, yes!"
He gave a low laugh. "I thought you might. You're hot and ready for me." His voice sounded strained. "I want you so badly, I think we'd better finish this now."
Claiming her mouth in a drugging kiss, he positioned his body over hers. Inundated with a need so aching, so intense and overwhelming, Nessa forgot her earlier fears, focusing only on the feel of Chase's penis seeking entry into her body. She arched against him, urging him inside.
Even so, he entered her carefully, then stopped. It wasn't enough and frustrated, she wiggled against him. He groaned. "Does it hurt?"
She shook her head against his chest. "No."
"Good." He pressed deeper, filling her completely, then withdrew. He returned to fill her again, and again. She experienced no pain this time, only incredible pleasure. She found herself moving with Chase's rhythm, meeting each thrust, urgently seeking more. He seemed to understand what she needed.
"Pull your legs back," he instructed hoarsely. "That's it. Stay with me, Nessa."
Gasping, she pressed her head against the mat, ensnared in the sensations engulfing her entire body. Va
guely, she heard a woman's cries, as if from very far away.
Were those sounds coming from her? Shocked at the sudden realization, she clamped a hand over her mouth.
"No." Chase drew back, prying away her hand. He twined it with his and pressed it against the mat. "Sounds of enjoyment are part of mating. Come on, sweetheart. Let me hear how good it feels."
He increased his tempo, driving hard and deep, and her inner muscles tightened around him. Nessa gave up worrying about the sounds that flowed from her throat as readily as he moved inside her. Instead she surrendered to the mounting tension within, to the delicious, building anticipation.
Then she exploded in ecstasy so fierce and intense, she wondered if she'd died and gone to Haven. She cried out as shockwaves of pure pleasure radiated from where she and Chase were joined, spreading heat and light through her entire body.
A moment later, he cried out as well, heaving and shuddering. Then he collapsed on her, his breathing ragged.
They lay that way for some time. Utterly boneless, Nessa didn't mind Chase's weight pressing her down. In fact, she savored the sense of warmth and security his body offered. Eventually, he shifted off her, drawing her against his side and guiding her head to rest against his shoulder. She fit there perfectly, she thought dreamily.
Shards of pleasure still tingled through her body, gradually subsiding to a relaxed glow. The force of the physical release astounded her, as did the total contentment it left in its wake. Even more surprising, a sense of intimacy lingered between her and Chase, as if the act of baring one's body to someone else bared one's soul as well.
She stirred and Chase drew her closer. His fingers stroked soothing circles down her back and on her rear. Touch certainly had its benefits. She felt so peaceful, so protected with Chase's arms around her, she wished she could stay there forever, forget about Orana—and her plans for tomorrow.
His warm hand grasping her chin jolted her from her reverie as he lifted up her face and kissed her. He took his time, his tongue leisurely stroking hers before he withdrew to feather light kisses on her lips.
Shielder — A new Science Fiction Romance (Book 1, Shielder Series) Page 17