Condemned Mates (Destined Mates Book 2)

by James Wolfe

  “But you felt it!” he said quickly. “When we became mates, you felt the connection, and that bond is never broken!”

  “I didn’t feel it, Sam,” I told him. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Because, even though I don’t think you’re my mate, I care deeply about you. I don’t want to hurt you. I never wanted that. But I can’t lie to you anymore.”

  “But how could you not have felt it?! You… you said you did!”

  “I wanted to!” I said. “And I wasn’t lying at first. I really thought I did. I convinced myself what I was feeling really was how you feel when you meet you mate. I thought maybe people had exaggerated how intense it is, and… I mean, you felt it. You felt it, so I thought that meant I must have felt it. That’s our biology, right? But over the years I’ve learned that’s just not true. It’s become extremely clear to me, especially recently.”

  He shook his head. “No… see, you just said it! It’s our biology! This is how we work. You can’t be mistaken, you… this isn’t how it works. It’s just not.”

  “Sam, I’m telling you—”

  “You’re confused. And I’m not discussing it any further,” he said, as he sat down at the dinner table. “What do you want for dinner?”

  I stared at him blankly. “What do I want for dinner…? You understand what I’m telling you, right?”

  “Yes. You’re confused. And I’m sure you’ll get past it eventually. So, there isn’t much need for us to engage in this right now. Dinner?”

  “This isn’t some phase!” I said coldly. “I know you’re not my mate, okay? I know it. And I’ve known it for a long time. But I thought a life with you was better than a life alone.”

  That was hurtful, and I hadn’t meant to be. I was just enraged at how he was brushing me off, as though I couldn’t possibly not be passionately in love with him.

  His eyes immediately reflected his pain. “And now you don’t think that?”

  “No!” I said. “I want what I dreamed of when we were kids! I want a mate who I adore, who I am driven to protect, who I want to be with constantly. Somebody who I can’t even stand the thought of not being in my life.”

  He scoffed. “God, you have to be so fucking dramatic.” He stood up and put his coat back on.

  “Where are you going?!” I demanded. “We need to talk about this.”

  “I refuse to talk about this until you get back to your senses! I’m going to see my fathers.”

  “I have come to my senses!” I yelled after him.

  But it was no use. He had already walked out.

  Fine, that was fine, he could leave. And I’d leave, too. Whether he chose to believe me or not, I’d addressed the problem with him, at least for now. He was clearly not going to talk to me anymore tonight, so I may as well go see Lyle.

  As I’d expected, it took a while to get to his home even in my wolf form. When I got there, I was totally exhausted. But, I’d brought some extra clothes, so I changed in to them behind a few bushes in his front yard before I went to knock on the door.

  He looked shocked to see me, like he really hadn't been expecting me to come back.

  “Lyle, please let me explain,” I said desperately as soon as he answered. “If you want me to leave again, I will, but I think you are really going to want to hear what I have to say.”

  He didn’t answer right away. He was really thinking it through. But I gave him my desperate, innocent eyes, and he finally relented. “Fine, but make it fast,” he said, as he allowed me in the door.

  I followed him on to his couch and immediately went in to my explanation

  “Look, I’m sorry for the way I dropped this information on you, I really am. Not only should I have told you sooner, but after I met you, I should have told Sam sooner. It was wrong of me to try to wait, to try and gauge how you felt. That was pure selfishness. I own up to that. I take responsibility for the ways that I have failed, but I do not take responsibility for lying that you are my mate. You absolutely are my mate. And I know this because, like I told you, it is biology for me.”

  He shook his head. “But that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You told me your biology has never failed, and clearly it has failed you before.”

  “That’s what I failed to explain,” I began to tell him, “because it never failed me before. And maybe it has failed Sam, I don’t know, but it didn’t fail me.”

  He raised an eyebrow. "How do you mean?”

  I leaned back against the arm rest of the couch. I knew this was going to be a long conversation, and my body was tired from the run here.

  “Ever since I was a child, Sam has been one of my best friends. Our fathers were best friends, we hung out constantly, and we were always told that one day we’d grow up to be mates. That’s what I fully expected. But on the day I turned eighteen, Sam came over to my house for my birthday and claimed that I really was his mate. He said he felt the feeling… but I didn’t. I didn’t feel any differently about him than I had the day before.”

  “I don’t understand… then why would you agree to be his mate?”

  “Because I’m stupid,” I gave a halfhearted smile. “Because I thought if Sam said he was my mate, that I must be his. That maybe I was messing up somehow or maybe other werewolves had exaggerated how intense the feelings are when you find your mate. That’s what I leaned on most, that the feelings were exaggerated. And that was how I was able to tell myself every day that I really was with the right person… that this was how all werewolves felt when they were with their mate. But then I met you, I felt that intensity that everyone always talked about, and I knew it wasn’t true. I knew that I had made a mistake, and you were actually my mate, not Sam. From the moment I met you, there has never been a doubt.”

  He looked me in the eyes, taking all this information in, trying to understand it. “Does that mean you were just happily mated to Sam until I came into the picture?” he asked. “Because, I mean, if that’s so… then I still ruined a happy relationship. “”

  “Not at all. Every day dragged on. I actually spent as much time away from Sam as I possibly could. I spent a lot of time readings about humans, actually. I became fascinated with the human world because I became fascinated by the way you guys date. I liked how you were able to make your own decisions about your partner because that’s what I’d wanted at the time. I was filled with resentment that I was forced to be with Sam for the rest of my life with no alternative. Trust me, it wasn’t happy. It was full of escapism and bitterness. And it was actually this escapism that led me to take the job at the farmers’ market, which is where I found you.”

  He seemed a little less resentful of me now, but he still didn’t totally let up.

  “Even if… even if all this is true, it doesn’t give you an out for what you did, you know. You should have told me about Sam. Or, even more importantly, you should have told Sam about me.”

  “I know,” I agreed, “I really do. And I swear, I was planning to. Even when I went home after the night of our first date, I couldn’t climb back in to bed with Sam. It felt like cheating. I haven’t lay next to him since I met you. And I couldn’t have kept that up for very long. But I was so wrapped up in getting to know you that I just let that slide. Which I feel awful for, and I’m sorry.”

  He glanced up at his ceiling for a moment. “You really never even slept in bed with him?” he asked.

  “I swear, I haven’t. He would have found out this week, no matter what, even if you hadn’t reacted so negatively to me having not told him.”

  “But he still doesn’t know?” he asked me.

  “Well… kind of.”

  “Kind of?” Lyle questioned.

  “I mean, I told him. I definitely told him. But he seems to be… kind of in denial about the whole thing. And I haven’t told him about you specifically yet, either. I didn’t really have the chance to. He kind of ran out of the house. And I came straight here to talk to you.”

  He nodded slowly. “So, what exactly does th
at mean? I mean, if he won’t listen to you…”

  “I’m going to make him listen to me,” I said. “No matter how many times I have to tell him, I’m going to make it clear that we are not mates. That I am leaving. And I’ll be terribly sorry to break his heart, but I just don’t see any other way for this to work.”

  He sighed. “Well, that still doesn’t mean that we will work, you know. If you’re breaking Sam’s heart just because you think it’s going to make me run into your arms, then—”

  “I’m not,” I told him, “I’m really not. I’m going to end it with Sam regardless. Because I can’t continue to live this life with him anymore.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because… because I know what it’s like to meet my real mate, now. I know what it feels like to have someone I love and feel passionate about. So, I could never go back to an empty life with him. And even if I could deal with the emptiness, being with him in any capacity would feel like I was cheating on you.”

  “Well, if we don’t end up together, it’s not cheating,” he said.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I explained. “You’re my mate, you. Whether you choose to be with me or not, you will always be my mate. There is nobody else that I can lie down beside. I will be committed to you whether or not you’re committed to me. I have already made that choice.”

  He looked at me curiously. “You really mean all this,” he observed.

  “I really do.”

  He shook his head again. “I just… don’t know if I can do this. I was way too trusting of you when you first explained who you are, and now that trust is broken. I don’t know if I can just jump right back in.”

  “I understand,” I said, “and I will do whatever you wish. I have no choice but to do whatever you wish because you’re my mate, and I must provide for your needs. But if you decide you want me, I will also be there for that. Even if you can’t trust me now, if you ever come back to me, even years from now, I will be here.”

  He looked at me, and, at first I thought he had decided to tell me no, to send me on my way. His face looked serious, frustrated, untrusting…

  And then, out of nowhere, he put both of his hands on my face and pulled me in for a kiss. It sent warmth through my entire body.

  He kissed me, he kissed me, he actually kissed me! I could feel myself smiling even as his lips were pressed against mine.

  When he pulled away, he was smiling, too. But his face then got very serious again.

  “Don’t you ever lie to me again!” he said seriously. “If I’m going to jump in to a whole new life with you, you better not do anything to make me regret my decision.”

  I grinned at him. “I won’t, I won’t, it’s total honesty from here on out!”

  He kissed me one more time. “It better be.”

  8

  Lyle

  I was being stupid. I knew it. I was being completely, unbelievably stupid. I could not be more naive…

  And yet, I didn’t care. I felt deliriously happy, and I just didn’t care.

  I’d never thought I would reach this point in my life. After so many years of never finding anyone that interested in me, of never having passion for anyone else, I’d never thought that I would. I’d thought my only passion in life would be my job, and, when I’d lost that, it’d felt like I’d had nothing.

  Now, I was happy that I’d lost my job. I’d never thought I’d say that. But, if I hadn’t lost it, I never would have been at that farmers’ market. I hadn’t had time for farmers’ markets when I’d worked.

  And now, I was saying goodbye to my work for some boy I’d met at the farmers’ market.

  “I never believed in fate,” I told him, as I rolled over to see his naked body.

  We had just had sex for the second time, which meant for the second time I’d had brilliant, amazing, life-changing sex. I was basking in it, staring at his stunningly handsome body.

  “What?” he asked, a little confused.

  “Before this, I never believed in fate. In fact, it was the opposite. I was a ‘make your own destiny’ kind of guy. It’s why I was so dedicated to my career. I believed I was the only one who could build my own success and make myself happy.”

  “Did you?” he asked. “Make yourself happy? With your career, I mean?”

  “I thought I did. Before you, I thought I was happy. I had everything I needed. I was doing all right. But compared to how I feel now? No, I wasn’t happy.”

  “So you believe in fate because you believe I’m really your fated mate?” he asked. “Me making you happy is what changed your mind?”

  “I mean, I do believe in that. But it’s not just that… it was everything that led up to this point. Have you thought about it?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Thought about what?”

  “Thought about everything that had to come together for us to meet! First of all, I had to lose my job at a company I thought would never fail. That way, I would be taking a stroll at a farmers’ market where I saw you. You had to be working that farmers’ market, which you were only doing because you have a fascination with humans. But you only have a fascination with humans because you started a relationship with a man you were unhappy with. Because, if you hadn’t entered that relationship, you would have just continued to wait for your fated mate to show up. You wouldn’t be thinking about humans. You’d still believe happiness was right around the corner.”

  His eyes bulged slightly. “You’re right… if I wasn’t with Sam to begin with, this never would’ve happened.”

  “Right!” I agreed. “It’s like my big failure of losing my job and the failure that was your relationship weren’t failures at all. They were the catalysts to us finding each other and finding happiness. And that doesn’t just happen. The stars didn’t align for us on coincidence. It was fate. I know this was fate.”

  He smiled softly and gave me a kiss as he pushed my hair off my forehead.

  “I’ve been thinking about all this time with Sam as wasted years,” he told me. “Every minute that I spend with you, I keep thinking that I wish I could’ve spent the last several years of my life living with you. And you’ve completely changed my perspective in a matter of thirty seconds. Because if it led me to you, in this moment, none of it was a waste.”

  I couldn’t believe just how much love I already felt for this man. I’d never felt anything close to this kind of love for any man before. But, I guess that was part of fate, too. Why would I have had feelings for anyone else when the man of my dreams had actually been living in some village in the woods.

  “Are you going to be happy giving up that job?” he asked me suddenly. “I mean, I know you already lost it, but you were hoping to find a new accounting job, right? That’s what you had said at the bar. Are you going to be happy with no big career?”

  “I think so,” I told him. “I don’t know, why would I need a career now? You live in a utopian village where nobody has to pay for food, shelter, or clothes, and everyone just gets along. When I know there is a society like that waiting for me, it seems silly to wish I could have a big career so I could make a lot of money. Why? When I could be spending relaxed days with you having everything I need.” I paused for a moment. “Speaking of which… when do you think I can potentially move to this beautiful utopian village?” I asked.

  He frowned. “I’m really not sure. I will need to make things clear to Sam first. And then I am going to have to explain to my family and the rest of the village…” he trailed off.

  “Are they all going to hate me?” I asked. “Are your fathers going to resent me?”

  “I… I’m not sure,” he answered honestly, which I appreciated, since I had just told him he couldn’t lie anymore. “They do love Sam. They’ve hoped I’d end up with Sam since I was a child, so… I feel like they’ll be upset. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you and I are together and that we’re happy. I want to be happy with you. My fathers’ opinions won’t change that.”

&
nbsp; “I don’t doubt that,” I said. “I just don’t want your family to hate me. I know you’ve said you’re close with your fathers, and… I’d just like to part of the family.”

  “You will be,” he answered. “Whether they like it or not, you will be.”

  I suddenly thought of something. “Hey, speaking of which, how is it even possible for your village to exist if it’s only men?”

  He didn’t understand the question. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, like, it’s all two men getting together. How do you guys actually make children?”

  “Oh, well, similarly to how humans do it. We have sex, and whoever is accepting the seed generally becomes pregnant.”

  My eyes widened. “Seriously?! And then you just have men walking around pregnant?”

  “That’s right,” he confirmed.

  “Wow… that’s fantastic.” I said and truly meant it.

  There was a lot to accept when you started to discover you were gay, but, for me, one of the biggest things to deal with was having kids and the fact that I’d never get to have biological kids with my partner. It wasn’t the end of the world. I’d grown to accept adoption, but it had always been a little difficult that biological children were not on the table for me. It was an innately human desire.

  Of course, it still wasn’t going to be possible for me. I was not a werewolf. But it was still wonderful that his species was capable of it. It made me happy to know that there were male couples out there who got to have their own kids the way that I’d always dreamed of.

  “I wish that we could do that, too,” I told him.

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “I just mean it would be nice if we could eventually have our own biological kids. A combination of the both of us. It would be really special.”

  He laughed. “Didn’t you just hear me? But we can do that.”

  “But… I’m a human,” I said. “I mean, I get that your species can do it, but that doesn’t mean I can.”