the Camel's Hump of Doom

by Paul Cooper

  CHAPTER 7:

  Seasick

  The limestone cliffs of the Valley of the Camel Kings marked the edge of the desert. Centuries ago the ancient Camels had carved tombs deep into the soft rock as burial places for their rulers.

  ‘It’s good of you to give me a lift,’ said Tom the camel, still being nice and friendly to the two pigs.

  Tammy narrowed her eyes. ‘And you’re sure our friends are here?’ she said.

  ‘Yes, yes! They’ll be at the main dig – it’s this way.’

  He started to lead them through the valley. Along the way they passed several holes carved into the limestone. Brian knew that these led to the different tombs. Over the centuries, all of those tombs had been found and emptied … all except one.

  At the end of the valley there was a smaller hole with a tent outside it. A couple of camels were at work with digging tools at the entrance. There was no sign of the other PiPs.

  ‘Just wait here,’ said Tom, and his face twisted into that same strange smile. He cantered over to the others and began to talk in a low murmur.

  ‘I don’t like this,’ whispered Tammy out of the side of her snout.

  ‘Me neither,’ replied Brian. ‘I LOVE it! I can’t believe we’re in the Valley of the Camel Kings!’

  Tom turned back to the two pigs. ‘Apparently your wing commander has flown Howard to the hospital, just for a check-up. Your other team-mates went down into the tomb for a look around.’

  ‘Really?’ said Tammy. ‘That doesn’t sound like Pete.’

  Tom’s lips twisted into a smile. ‘My colleagues explained it might be dangerous, but he wanted to go anyway.’

  ‘OK, that sounds like Pete,’ admitted Tammy.

  Tom’s smile twisted some more until it became one of sympathy. ‘They should have come out by now. My workers here, Dick and Drom, would have gone to search for them, but there’s a narrow part at the end of the passage that’s too small for a camel to get through. I don’t suppose …?’

  ‘We’d love to go!’ Brian blurted. ‘We can make sure Pete and Curly are OK, and we can have a look around. Right, Tammy?’

  Tammy nodded slowly.

  ‘Jolly good,’ said Tom, opening his canvas bag. ‘Then you’re going to need THIS.’

  A smooth black object fell out of the bag. It was round on one side and flat on the other. Its stone surface almost seemed to glow with its own dark light. It was Nokankumin’s Hump of Doom.

  ‘Now listen carefully,’ said Tom, his eyes glittering. ‘This is what you have to do …’

  At first, both Oinks-Gruntingtons wanted to be at the front of the long trek.

  ‘I should lead the way because I know the map coordinates,’ said Howard.

  ‘Ah, but I’ve got the compass,’ said Peregrine. ‘And anyway, I’m the oldest!’

  ‘Yes, but I’m the smartest!’

  They both walked faster and faster, until soon they were jogging through the desert, elbows bumping as each brother tried to get ahead.

  ‘Get back here, Chicken Legs!’

  ‘No chance, Big Nose!’

  But not even the battling Oinks-Gruntingtons could keep this up for long: just walking in the soft sand wasn’t easy, let alone out-running your brother. Soon, all four pigs could manage no more than a steady plod. With the sun still high and a sea of sand all around them, it felt as if they would be walking forever.

  ‘I wouldn’t mind a nice long drink,’ gasped Pete.

  ‘No probs!’ said Curly, swinging the backpack off his shoulder. ‘I’ve got food and drink right here!’

  He sat cross-legged and unbuckled his bag, humming to himself. Then he unscrewed the lid of his water flask and started pouring water out on to his trotters.

  ‘CURLY!’ shrieked Peregrine. ‘What are you DOING?’

  Curly looked up in surprise. ‘I’m washing my trotters, sir. According to PiPs Rules and Regulations, you should always do that before eating. Otherwise you might pick up a nasty tummy bug.’

  Peregrine looked as if he might explode. ‘But we are trekking across the desert!’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Curly, glowing with pride (and the first signs of heat exhaustion). ‘It would be awful to have a tummy bug while you were doing that!’

  ‘Is there any water left?’ asked Howard.

  ‘I’m afraid not.’ Curly turned the flask upside down to prove his point. In fact, there had been some water left, but now it spilt out on to the sand. ‘Oops.’

  ‘Not to worry, Curly,’ said Pete. ‘What food have you got in there?’

  Curly pulled a packet out of his bag. ‘Some nice ready-salted crisps!’ he said brightly. ‘Who wants some?’

  CHAPTER 8:

  A Tomb with a View

  The three camels waited at the entrance to the tunnel as Tammy and Brian went inside. Tammy had the stone hump in her arms, while Brian held a torch to light their way. He ran its beam along the tunnel’s walls. There were rows of weird-looking pictures carved along them.

  ‘Some animals will put graffiti anywhere, won’t they?’ Tammy tutted.

  ‘These aren’t graffiti – they’re pictures of all the gods the ancients believed in,’ said Brian. He pointed a few of them out. ‘That one is the Jackal and there’s the Hawk god. And that nice-looking one there was the ancient pig goddess, Hamm.’ He turned to Tammy. ‘The ancients believed in lots of gods, but Nokankumin said he was more powerful than all of them.’

  A little further down the tunnel, there were rows of symbols. To Tammy, they were just a load of old squiggles and pictures, but Brian was gazing at them. ‘They’re hieroglyphics,’ he said. ‘The writing of the ancients.’

  ‘Can you read them?’

  ‘I’m a little rusty,’ said Brian, ‘but I think it says, “MAY GREAT GOOD FORTUNE FALL ON THOSE WHO DISTURB THE TOMB OF THE MIGHTY PHARAOH NOKANKUMIN.”’

  ‘Ah, that’s nice,’ said Tammy warmly.

  Brian paused. ‘Oh no, wait a mo – I’ve translated that first bit wrongly. It doesn’t say “GREAT GOOD FORTUNE”, it says … “A TERRIBLE CURSE”.’

  Tammy froze. ‘You said there was no such thing as the Curse of Nokankumin!’ she wailed.

  Brian just gave a little smile and shook his head. ‘Oh, come along, Tammy. Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for even more superstitious mumbo-jumbo, have you? There is NO such thing as a curse of the pharaoh’s tomb. And anyway – OW!’

  He fell to the dusty ground, clutching his head in pain.

  Tammy looked down with wide eyes. ‘What were you just saying?’

  The medic got to his trotters and rubbed the painful bump on top of his head. ‘There’s a perfectly logical explanation for what just happened. I didn’t see that low beam, that’s all.’

  Tammy wasn’t convinced. ‘You’ve never done that before, though, Brian.’

  ‘We’ve never walked down this passageway before.’

  Once they had squeezed their way through the narrow part, they found themselves in a small stone room.

  ‘It’s a dead end,’ said Tammy. ‘So where could Pete and Curly be?’

  Brian was shining his torch into the chamber. In the middle of it stood a small stone statue of a camel. It didn’t look quite right because something was missing – its hump.

  ‘Remember what Tom said?’ whispered Brian. ‘We have to put the stone hump on to the statue.’

  Tammy lifted the hump and set it down on to the flat top of the statue. It was a perfect fit.

  ‘Now what?’ asked Tammy.

  ‘Not sure,’ said Brian.

  Seconds passed, and then they heard the sound of far-off rumbling.

  ‘Did you have six helpings of rice pudding for breakfast again?’ Brian asked.

  ‘Yes, but that wasn’t my tummy rumbling just now,’ said Tammy.

  It was true – the sound seemed to come from all around them, and it was getting louder. Soon the whole place was shaking, and then there was a grinding noise as the walls around them began to
move. The Hump of Doom must have triggered some kind of mechanism!

  ‘What’s going on?’ cried Tammy. ‘An earthquake?’

  ‘I don’t know!’ wailed Brian, clutching the mechanic’s arm. ‘But I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for it!’

  When the chamber had stopped shaking and moving, Brian and Tammy were amazed to see that the walls had opened up to reveal a new doorway into a much larger chamber.

  The two pigs entered it, hardly able to believe their eyes. Unlike the smaller first chamber, this one was full of statues and fancy vases and gold and jewels.

  ‘It’s the hidden tomb of Nokankumin!’ gasped Brian.

  ‘Pity they haven’t got an air freshener or two,’ Tammy said, sniffing. ‘What about all those wardrobes propped up against the walls?’

  Brian ran the torch round the walls of the circular room. Between the various stone columns and shadowy entrances to other parts of the tomb, there were six or seven tall objects. ‘Those aren’t wardrobes, Tammy. They’re sarcophagi.’

  ‘Sar-WHAT-agi?’

  ‘They’re stone coffins,’ explained Brian. ‘They probably contain the mummified bodies of Nokankumin’s servants.’ He pointed the torchlight at the biggest and most ornate of the coffins that lay flat in the middle of the room. ‘And I bet that one contains the body of Pharaoh Nokankumin himself.’ He paused. ‘Er, what are you doing, Tammy?’

  The mechanic had picked up one of the stone jars from the floor and was trying to unscrew the lid. ‘I get hungry when I’m nervous,’ she explained. ‘I’m just having a quick look to see if there’s anything left in these cookie jars.’

  ‘Those aren’t cookie jars!’ Brian hissed. ‘They’re canopic jars. When the pharaoh died, his inside bits were removed and put into jars like that. That one probably contains a dried-up spleen or liver.’

  Tammy put the jar down quickly and pulled a face. ‘Dried-up spleen? Blimey, what’s wrong with just keeping a few oatmeal-raisin cookies in your cookie jar?’

  But Brian was looking around with wonder. ‘I don’t think you understand, Tammy. This is the most important archaeological discovery of modern times! Every university in Animal Paradise will want to study it. It’s a treasure trove of historical information! We have to go and tell the camels.’ He started towards the exit.

  ‘Hold on,’ said Tammy. ‘What about Pete and Curly?’

  ‘You needn’t worry about them,’ said a cold voice. ‘I wasn’t entirely truthful about your little friends. But I can assure you, I have taken care of them.’

  Brian shone his torch in the direction of the voice. It lit up the long droopy face of the camel known as Tom, but he didn’t look quite so friendly now. His voice was less friendly too – less friendly and more … evil. He was blocking the exit, and Dick and Drom were behind him. When the walls of the tomb had moved, the narrow part of the entrance passage must have widened enough for them to enter.

  The reflection of all the gold in the chamber shone now in the camel’s dark eyes. His lips twisted into a smile, and for once it suited his face – it was a wicked sneer.

  Tammy just nodded. ‘I see,’ she said. ‘This place is a treasure trove of information, but it’s also a treasure trove of TREASURE! You aren’t an archaeologist at all, are you? You’re here to steal the treasure. You’re nothing but dirty rotten tomb raiders!’

  The camels looked at each other, then smirked.

  ‘Tomb raiders?’ said the camel who had called himself Tom Braider. ‘Oh no, we’re much, much worse than that …’

  CHAPTER 9:

  Return of the Mummies

  Meanwhile, the rest of the PiPs continued their slow painful journey across the sands towards the Valley of the Camel Kings.

  ‘Look over there!’ said Peregrine. ‘Between that sand dune and … er … that other sand dune. It’s a watering-hole!’

  At first Pete couldn’t see anything, but then the heat seemed to shimmer and he too could make something out. It looked like a small oasis with several trees and – most importantly – a lovely pool of water.

  Just the thought of plunging his face into that cool water gave Pete the strength to keep going.

  ‘Save your energy,’ advised Howard. ‘Whatever you think you can see, it isn’t real – it’s what they call a mirage. The mind plays tricks out here in the desert. There isn’t actually anything there at all.’

  Sure enough, as Pete got near the spot between the dunes, the oasis seemed to flicker in the heat and then disappear. The captain fell to his knees and dug his trotters into the hot dry sand. ‘NO!’

  The pigs walked on in silence. After another mile or so, Curly spotted something else in the distance. His eyes lit up.

  ‘It’s a drinks vending machine, full of cans of Slurpo-Pop!’ he exclaimed. ‘Can’t you see it?’

  ‘No,’ said Pete.

  But it seemed so real to Curly. As he got closer, he could even see the water droplets on the outside of the machine, hear the low hum of the machine’s electricity. He stumbled on faster and faster, eager to get the first can.

  But when he got closer, the vending machine just seemed to float away in the heat.

  ‘Where’s it gone?’ asked Curly in confusion.

  Howard didn’t stop his steady trudge forward. ‘I told you – those mirages are tricky.’

  Curly looked down at the coins in his trotter. ‘I’ve even got the correct change,’ he mumbled.

  The pigs forced their aching legs to walk on. Their whole world seemed to be made up of nothing but sand and sun, and not in a good way like in a holiday brochure.

  Soon they all took turns gasping, ‘Must … have … a drink!’

  After a few more miles, Pete came over yet another dune and saw something else.

  ‘What’s that?’ he said. ‘It looks like an ice-cream van!’

  Curly joined him, squinting into the sun’s glare. ‘I see it too! It’s got a big plastic ice-cream cone on top.’

  ‘Yeah! And a picture of a penguin and a sign that says “GET YOUR ICE-COLD LOLLIES”!’

  The trainee shook his head. ‘It’s another of those rotten mirages, isn’t it?’ he said glumly.

  ‘Yup,’ Pete answered. ‘Don’t waste your energy running over to it, kid.’

  With heads down, they staggered on.

  Deep inside the hidden tomb of Nokankumin, Tammy and Brian knew they had no chance of forcing their way past three beefy camels.

  ‘So if you’re not archaeologists and you’re not tomb raiders, what are you then?’ challenged Tammy. ‘Hairdressers?’

  The camel’s lips moved around into something that looked a bit like a smile in the dim light. ‘Firstly, I must introduce myself properly. My true name – my secret name – is Cam-Ho-Tep.’

  ‘Cam-Ho-Tep Braider?’ asked Tammy.

  ‘Don’t be so stupid!’ snapped the camel. ‘Cam-Ho-Tep Williams. The name Tom Braider was just my little joke …’

  Brian thought this over, then exclaimed, ‘Oh, I get it! Tom Braider! TOMB RAIDER!’ He looked across at Tammy. ‘Well, you have to admit, it is quite clever … you know, in an evil way.’

  ‘I am the leader of the Ancient Order of Nokankumin,’ continued Cam-Ho-Tep. ‘For centuries our hidden society has passed down our secret from one generation to the next, always waiting for this moment … for the return of the King of Camel Kings! It finally became possible when Howard Oinks-Gruntington discovered the lost Hump of Doom!’

  While he was talking, Dick and Drom had carried the stone camel statue into the chamber. The stone Hump still sat on top of it, its black surface glowing with a strange sort of dark light.

  ‘And now our wait is over,’ announced Cam-Ho-Tep. ‘It is time for the ancient powers within this hump to work their magic.’

  The two camels set the statue in the middle of the room and took a step back. All eyes were on the Hump of Doom. For a moment everything was silent, and it felt like a something-really-really-bad-is-about-to-happen kind of silen
ce.

  And then something really, really bad did happen – or at least, it did if you think that the front lid of a stone coffin creaking open is bad …

  … which it was.

  Because as the lid opened wider, Tammy and Brian could see the body of an ancient mummy, covered from head to toe in bandages. It let out a horrible moan and began to step out of its stone prison.

  The lids of the other coffins began to swing open too, and soon the chamber was filled with the awful moans of several mummies. They sounded like the world’s worst male-voice choir warming up, and the two PiPs didn’t wait to find out what they might sing.

  They spun round and raced into the nearest open passageway behind them. This led into another underground tunnel, but there was no clearly marked EXIT sign – the health-and-safety record of the ancient Camels had been terrible. The pigs ran past the entrance to one chamber and then on into another.

  ‘It’s a dead end!’ cried Brian.

  There was a big stone table in the room and the two pigs hid behind it.

  ‘Are you OK, Bri?’ asked Tammy.

  The PiPs medical officer was shaking like a leaf – a leaf that has just been chased by several scary mummies.

  ‘I’m sure there’s some perfectly sensible scientific explanation,’ Brian began. He blinked rapidly. ‘But it was scary back there … At times like this, one almost wishes one was a small piglet again, in the arms of one’s mother.’

  ‘Eh?’ said Tammy.

  Brian frowned. ‘It’s just that such moments of extreme fear are enough to make me wish I was back with my dear old mama.’

  ‘Brian, WHAT are you going on about?’ Tammy glanced over the top of the stone table.

  The medical officer sighed. ‘Just that … I want my –’

  ‘MUMMY!’ cried Tammy.

  ‘Exactly!’ said Brian, going a deeper shade of pink around the cheeks.