Point of No Return

by Tara Fox Hall

  Devlin took the glasses back, and set them on the shelf. He came toward me slowly, light from the fire flickering over him as he moved. “Let’s see if we can make your toast come true, Love,” he said, reaching for me.

  * * * *

  Devlin made my toast come true, literally, sating and exhausting us in the process. It was near dawn when we finally slept. Only a few minutes later, someone began pounding on the door.

  “Go the fuck away,” Devlin shouted venomously, sitting up.

  I opened my eyes. “What time is it?”

  Dev reached down and brushed my hair back from my face in a gentle motion. “Way too early, Love.”

  “Call for Sar, Dev,” Lash hissed through the door. “Danial demands to speak with her immediately.”

  “Tell him to fuck himself,” Devlin called, almost gleefully. “We’re sleeping.”

  “I have to talk to him,” I said. “There may be some emergency with one of the kids.”

  Devlin nodded permissively. “Lash, bring the cordless phone in, please.”

  Lash came in, handed me the phone, and then left, shutting the door behind him.

  “Danial, are the kids okay?” I asked worriedly. Devlin leaned close, listening.

  “They’re fine,” Danial said, relieved. “I’m glad to hear you’re fine, too.”

  “Of course I’m fine,” I said exasperatedly. “Why wouldn’t I be? You worried me, demanding to talk to me.”

  “I wanted to calm down Theo,” Danial said tiredly. “He went after you last night, and Terian had to forcibly stop him. He was wild, almost crazed. Terian barred him from the house, as I didn’t want Elle to see him this way. Instead, Theo left and started trouble at the fox compound. He fought with both Hans and Aran. Brian broke it up, but there was blood—”

  “Why is he acting like this?” I said angrily. “He’s the one who left me!”

  “He was sure Devlin would hurt you. He said I was a fool to trust him with you, that he couldn’t stand the thought of the two of you together. He seemed so sure I began to worry.”

  “He needs to deal with his issues, Danial,” I shouted. “I’m dealing with mine!”

  “He still loves you, Sar.”

  “He has a funny way of showing it,” I said sarcastically.

  “I’ll tell him you’re fine when he wakes up,” Danial said, yawning. “Go back to sleep, I’m sure you were up all night. By the way, please tell Dev that you’re seeing me next Saturday night, and he can go fuck himself.”

  “I heard that!” Devlin growled good-naturedly.

  “I knew you would,” Danial laughed. “But I mean it about Saturday, Dev.”

  “Fine,” Devlin said agreeably, pulling me closer to him. “But Friday’s mine. Now go away and let us sleep.”

  “I love you, Sar,” Danial said. “Get some sleep. Remember, you don’t have to come in next week unless you want to. But I have those papers for you, from your lawyer. According to his cover page, you and Theo need to sign them as soon as possible.”

  “I’ll be in tomorrow or the next day,” I replied wearily. “I want the separation started.”

  “I’ll see you then. Theo will be here both days. We can make plans for Saturday, too.”

  “Danial—”

  “Be here by five, or I’ll come looking for you,” Danial growled, then hung up.

  I turned the phone off, then dropped it over the edge of the bed. “What is wrong with him?”

  “Dealing with Theo, probably,” Devlin said, hugging me. “Or thinking about you here with me, having too much fun to call. It might just be work, though. The life of a Ruler is a demanding one.”

  His resentful tone made me turn to look at him. “How are things with you really, Dev? Are you in danger?”

  “I’m usually in danger,” he joked. “But why do you ask?”

  “I’m asking because I care,” I said, stroking his arm gently. “I want to listen, if you want to talk. You said there was a lot you had to deal with. As you told me, there is more to being a lover than making love.”

  “I don’t want to talk,” he said, after a few moments. “I’d like you to hold me, as you did months ago, that day in the hotel, the day I first came to guard you. Do you remember, Sar?”

  “Of course,” I said, putting a few more pillows behind my shoulders. “You saved me. If you hadn’t been in my arms then, I’d have died.”

  “A portent of things to come,” he said softly. Easing down on me, he nestled his head on my left breast, his arms around me loosely. I held him, stroking his hair soothingly, my other hand on his well-muscled back.

  “I can hear your heart,” he said softly. “It seems so fast.”

  “That’s because you’re near,” I said, kissing his forehead. “You always make my heart beat fast.”

  He sighed. “I could stay here like this for days with you,” he said contentedly. “I love you completely.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “But I scare you still,” he added. “Don’t I, Love? Last night, those first times?”

  I didn’t reply, tense with worry that he’d provoke another argument.

  “I have not gotten anything I have from being cautious,” Devlin said. “Everything I’ve achieved has been from taking chances, from daring to do what no one else will. What I’ve done since assuming power... it has done something to me.”

  “What do you mean?” I ventured.

  “I hoped being with you would make me...lighter, I guess would be the word. I feel heavy sometimes, both with grief and with the weight of all my years and deeds, both evil and good. But Lash is right, I can’t be anyone but who I am.”

  “It’s never too late to be happy,” I said softly.

  Devlin seemed not to hear me. “I think I knew it even then, but I was reaching for anything I could to make my existence worthwhile. I looked for many years for a miracle. Being with you showed me what I’d lacked. It wasn’t power, respect, or lovers. I needed to love someone again.” He paused, then sighed. “I needed to love you.”

  I didn’t speak.

  He held me tighter. “You make me happy, being with you, seeing you smile, hearing you laugh, and seeing your eyes at that last moment before you reach oblivion.” He paused again. “Your heart is racing now, Love.”

  “Because of you,” I said gently, kissing him again on the forehead. “From the words you say and the feelings they stir in me.” Plus worry over your mercurial moods.

  “I meant what I said, about the bathroom. Change whatever you want. It is going to be just me and you.”

  “Sleep, Dev. Don’t think any more on that now.”

  “You sleep,” he teased. “You need to rest after last night. I’ll have Lash drive you home later today.”

  Was he kicking me out? I masked my surprise. “I can drive home,

  really—”

  “No,” Devlin stated. “I want you safe, Sar, and you are going to be tired today, no matter how much you sleep. Lash will not mind.”

  Chapter Five

  As Lash drove me home that evening, my mind retraced the events of my stay with Devlin.

  His cat, Phantom, had awoken us in late afternoon, yowling and scratching at the bedroom door. Devlin hadn’t said anything; he just got up and left the bedroom naked. I had grabbed his silver and gray velvet robe, put it on, and followed him. He was in the kitchen, petting a large tiger cat that was wolfing down food.

  “This is Phantom. I usually have Serena feed him, and he was reminding me he hadn’t been fed, that he was hungry.”

  Phantom finished his food, then began winding about Devlin’s ankles, purring. Devlin picked him up, and handed him to me. As I took him, I noticed his scarred face.

  “What happened?”

  “He was hit by a car, right before my eyes,” Devlin said, patting Phantom on his head. “He was dying. I healed him with a little of my blood. It left a nasty scar, but he can do everything a cat normally does.” Devlin touched my shoulder. “
Do you want something to eat? I could order you something, and have one of the men go and get it.”

  “Just some water,” I said, yawning. “I’d rather go back to sleep. Maybe later.”

  “Do you mind if he comes with us?” Devlin asked. “He usually sleeps in my room with me during the day.”

  “Not at all,” I said, handing the cat back. “Lead the way.”

  Upstairs, Phantom curled up at the bottom of Devlin’s bed, and was soon asleep.

  Devlin lay down again in my arms. “It’s been a long time since I slept next to a woman, since I woke up in one’s arms. You are the first since Annabelle, Sar.”

  I wanted to believe him, but remembered the bathroom and doubted his words.

  He caught my expression before I could mask it. “I never trusted any of the women I was with over the years enough to sleep myself, though they sometimes slept. Usually after the sex was over, I sent them home, or to one of my guest bedrooms.”

  “Why?” I asked. “Lash was right next door, and you had to be much stronger than they were.”

  “Too many people want me dead, Sar. I’m a heavy sleeper, and therefore, vulnerable. I found that out the hard way: I was attacked right after I became Ruler in the States. A woman stabbed me with a poisoned dagger as I lay beside her, still shaking from climax. She was overeager. If she had waited for me to fall sleep, I’d be dead.”

  I squeezed him in my arms to comfort him. “I know some poisons can hurt vampires. What happened?”

  “I had enough strength in me to scream, and my guards broke down the door. They brought me to Ravel, the sorcerer I employed at that time. Ravel knew what the poison was, and gave me an antidote before I succumbed. There was a good deal of pain involved. It was a hard lesson, one I never forgot.”

  “What happened to the woman?”

  “I had my men find out who had sent her, and made a harsh example of him. Then I had her killed, for daring to do that to me.”

  Devlin looked up at me, his eyes filled with raw, deep emotion. “Do you understand now what you mean to me, to Danial? He trusted you from the first, Sar, because you saved him. Vampires rarely sleep with their lovers, even those they love, because it is so dangerous for us. In a way, being intimate like this with you is just as important to me as bedding you.” He paused. “Maybe more important.”

  I was moved by his heartfelt words. “Sleep, Love,” I said tenderly, kissing his forehead again. “You are loved and safe.”

  Devlin gave a contented sigh, relaxing in my arms.

  It was much later when we were saying goodbye that Devlin mentioned he was leaving that night for Canada. “I’ll be gone a few days.”

  “You know where I am, when you come back,” I said with a smile.

  “You’re sure you don’t want a bit more healing on that one remaining bruise?”

  Devlin had healed my bruises by rubbing a tiny bit of his blood into my skin. I’d thanked him, not voicing my worry that his healing me would be a regular thing. “No, I’m fine.”

  “I saw you cleaned out the bathroom. If you’d like to bring anything, or you want something here for your use, just email me a list.”

  Most everything I’d left as it was, though there were a few brands I didn’t use, so I’d tossed them. In my cleaning, I had also discovered a few personal care items of unsettling nature, and put them back. I had an open mind, at least for now. “Thanks, but let me use up what’s there, before I stock it with my own things.”

  Devlin hugged me, then gave me a chaste kiss. “If there comes a time you want to stay, you have only to tell me. Please keep in mind the invite’s there, though I won’t push.”

  Relieved I hadn’t been kicked out after all, I hugged him again. “Be safe.”

  Devlin returned to bed, propping himself up on one arm. “Come here, if you want a last kiss, Love.”

  I sat on the bed and kissed him again. “You drive a hard bargain.”

  “Tell me you’ll miss me,” he whispered. “Tell me you love me.”

  I beheld him lying there on his side, his hair shining on the pillow, his golden eyes open and watching me. A rush of feeling enveloped me, and I longed to throw myself into his arms, and tell him I’d never leave. Instead, I got up on uneasy feet and walked to the door. “I love you, and I’ll miss you,” I said hoarsely, then shut the door quickly.

  I’d only barely been able to leave. His hold over me was that strong. It had to be the blood he’d given me. If he’d healed that last bruise...

  “You getting out or not?” Lash hissed loudly, breaking my thoughts.

  We were in my driveway. How long we’d been there, I didn’t know. I got out with my bag and purse and shut the door. Lash nodded once, parked my truck in my garage, then walked off down the driveway. Halfway down it, Titus appeared, and then they both vanished.

  There was no one in the house waiting, but it was clean, the pets even brushed, a fire warmly burning.

  “Serena, I’ll have to bring you a present,” I said aloud. “You went over and above just watching over things.” I beckoned to Ghost and Darkness. “Let’s go, daylight’s ending.”

  * * * *

  That night, instead of dreaming of Dev or Danial, I had the same dream of Theo dying in my arms. I woke screaming for him, tears on my face, then lay there panting.

  Was this some kind of premonition? Was Theo in danger? Or was this just me needing closure?

  I needed to give him the papers. I needed to get him out of my life. Maybe then I’d get rid of the nightmares.

  * * * *

  The next morning, Monday, I drove the Expedition back to Danial’s house. I brought with me a bag of belongings Theo had left behind. Maybe it would convince him to sign the papers without a fuss. “You’d think he’d want to,” I bitched aloud. “God, he’s a jerk.”

  Theo had parked the vehicle of Danial’s he’d driven to my house in his spot in my garage. Whether he had done that to make a point or to protect it from snow, I wasn’t sure. He’d left my garage door opener resting on the hood, next to a haphazard pile of my CDs that had been in his truck. I’d swiped them angrily, laying them beside me on the seat. “Who should I offer the remote to, Danial or Devlin?” I’d said aloud. “Or should I just put it in a drawer, because no one needs it now? I’m the one that’s going to be travelling all the time—”

  My phone let out a beep. When I stopped at a light, I viewed a text from Cia, that said Terian had returned, but nothing else.

  Odd he hadn’t called me. Maybe he’d been unable to locate Keriam’s family. Depressed, I decided to take a few minutes and pick up lunch.

  After a fattening meal of Chinese takeout in Danial’s kitchen, I went looking for the faxed separation papers. Danial had left them on his desk for me in a pile. I signed them, and marked where Theo had to put his name with yellow “sign here” stickers, the kind we used for clients. I put that on Theo’s desk, beside the padded envelope that had come for him over Christmas and the DVD he’d forgotten of “King Arthur”. I remembered watching that last one with him, chiefly his comment during the sex scene that if it had been him there with Guinevere instead of Arthur, he wouldn’t have needed so much help from her to get into the moment. Instead of smashing the DVD like I wanted, I put it down gently, and got to work. Since Theo wasn’t here yet, it made sense to get some work done while I waited.

  There were a few emails from prospective clients. I handled them, and then came to one from Devlin from early this morning. He’d responded to the poem I’d sent him before he had claimed me as his own, before Theo had moved out, before my life had changed so much.

  Sar, I loved your poem. As always, you are full of surprises. This past weekend was beyond my expectations. I hope to be with you again soon. I leave you with this thought by Charles Jefferys:

  Let us hope the future

  As the past has been will be

  will share with thee my sorrows

  And thou thy joys with me.

  Lo
ve, Dev

  I printed the email out to take home and hang on my fridge. I’d paid well for the privilege, so I might as well enjoy it.

  After turning off the computer, I wandered downstairs, debating whether to knock on Danial’s door or not. If I did, he might want more from me than I could give him right now. But if I didn’t, he was going to think I was still angry about what he had said yesterday.

  Like so many other things lately, I had no choice. I knocked gently. “Danial?”

  “Come in, Sar.”

  I opened the door. “I figured you heard me.”

  “Yes. Come to me,” he said, patting the bed beside him.

  I sat down on the bed.

  “I’m sorry about what I said on the phone. Forgive me?”

  “I know you didn’t mean it. It’s okay.”

  Danial switched gears. “Something is wrong with Terian. He left a voice mail for me last Monday, telling me he would be gone for a few days. He was gone all week, Sar. He came back briefly this weekend, to deal with Theo’s outburst, then he was gone again in a few minutes. Do you know what he’s up to?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said, shrugging. “He accessed some of my memories of Theo and Devlin before he left. Afterwards, he was agitated.”

  “Which memories?” Danial said, curious. “To what purpose? It had to be something critical, for him to leave Theoron unguarded here.”

  “If I knew that, I’d understand why he left,” I said good-naturedly.

  Danial bit my neck gently, running his fangs over me, then drew back. “Sar, you smell faintly of Devlin.”

  “I just got home last night,” I said apologetically. “I showered at Hayden.”

  Danial didn’t reply, which annoyed me. I got up and faced him. “Do you want me to go?”

  “No,” Danial said quickly. “I’m sorry, Sar. I have no right to give you grief. It is old jealousy; one that has no place in what you, he, and I share now. Do not think on it again, or worry about coming to me with his scent on your skin.” He paused. “Do you want to lie here with me for a while? Nothing needs to happen between us beyond that, if you’re not in the mood. I just want very much for you to stay.”