Point of No Return

by Tara Fox Hall

“I’m going to be really big,” Theoron said proudly.

  “You’ll always be my baby,” I said lovingly.

  Theoron gave me a grimace. “I’m not a baby anymore,” he said, his green eyes flashing.

  Danial laughed. “His eyes are so much like yours, Sar, so spirited.”

  “Are you coming or not, Mom?” Elle yelled.

  “Come on, you,” Danial teased, grabbing up Theoron as he shrieked loudly in joy. “Let’s go wish them off.”

  * * * *

  We hadn’t finished our meal at the restaurant when Elle started in.

  “Theo, are you going to leave Mom again?”

  Theo froze, glancing over at Elle, then me. I looked back at him expectantly.

  “No,” he said, swallowing hard. “I’m never leaving your mom again, Elle. I was wrong to do it the first time.”

  “Promise?” Elle persisted.

  He put his arm around her shoulders. “I promised her, and I promise you, too.”

  “Good!” she said loudly. “Can I have another sleepover?”

  “That means a lot of planning,” I said firmly, glancing at Theo. “I’m not sure how busy this spring is going to be. The next few weeks is right out, Elle.”

  Elle gave me her best wheedling face. “Dad said I’d have to ask you and Theo.”

  “Maybe in a month,” I said, considering. “What do you think, Theo?”

  He looked back at me and nodded. “I’m in. Finish your pancakes.”

  “Great!” Elle said excitedly. She dug into her food, finishing before either of us. “Can I play the stuffed toy machine?”

  I handed her some money. “Sure. But for five dollars, I expect more than one toy.”

  “You got it,” she said boastfully, pocketing the money and walking away.

  The waitress brought our check over. “Your daughter a beauty,” she said to Theo and me with an appreciative smile. “She’s going to break some hearts when she gets older.”

  Theo’s eyes met mine as we both said, “Thank you.”

  “Being the only child can be lonely sometimes,” the waitress said meaningfully.

  “We want to have at least one more,” Theo said, grabbing my hand. “Wish us luck.”

  The waitress smiled at us. “Good luck to you.”

  My stomach lurched. “I’m going to the ladies’ room,” I said quickly, then added a smile so he wouldn’t think I was upset with him. “Keep an eye on Elle.”

  I hurried to the ladies’ room, my nausea increasing. What was wrong?

  Bile rose in my throat, and I choked it back. I breathed deeply over and over, forcing myself to think about absolutely nothing. Slowly the feeling passed.

  When I was sure I wasn’t going to be sick, I went and washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror.

  It was too soon for morning sickness. It was just the greasy food.

  Quickly I left the bathroom, my face in the mirror not believing what I was saying any more than I did.

  Chapter Nine

  “Devlin, I may be pregnant with Theo’s child.”

  Cavity looked back at me from my bed, nonplused.

  I let out a breath. “Damn it.”

  I’d been trying in front of the mirror in my bedroom for the better part of the afternoon to come up with some way to break that news to Devlin. So far, I still sounded lame.

  Theo called out from the other room, “Lash is here!”

  I sighed, grabbed my bag from the bed, and went out the bedroom door.

  Lash was standing near the door. Elle was standing a little behind Theo, peering at him from behind her father’s back in the stance of a much younger child who was afraid.

  I wasn’t surprised. Lash had that effect on most everyone, including me. There was an air of violence around him, no matter how nondescript he looked dressed in his simple black shirt and jeans. He stood there now almost defiantly, his arms folded across his chest, his jet-black hair wild-looking, the scar across his left side of his face and eye baring his long fangs in a lopsided smile that dared Theo to make a move.

  His flat eyes flicked up to mine. “Ready?”

  Lash was the only were I’d ever met who retained his animal eyes in human form. I’d concluded he’d done it deliberately somehow, to increase his fear factor. His snake eyes were always unsettling, not just for their alien quality, but the sheer cold flatness for them.

  “You want to stare at me, you can do it in the truck as I drive,” he hissed, his smile twisting his face further. “Get moving, My Lady.”

  I went over and hugged Theo and Elle. “Have a good time.”

  “Call me tomorrow evening, when you get to Danial’s,” Theo said firmly. “I’ll see you later that night, for the movie.”

  “Remember, don’t watch anything too scary with Elle. Try to—”

  “Shh,” Theo said firmly. “Just hug me and go. There isn’t anything to say.”

  He was right. “I’ll see you before you know it,” I said, brushing the hair out of his eyes. I leaned in for a last kiss, then headed to the door without looking back. “Bye.”

  I walked out the door into falling snow, Lash following.

  Try to be pleasant. “Nice truck,” I said, getting into his Avalanche. “Devlin told me it was yours, not Danial’s.”

  “It’s dirty,” Lash hissed coldly. “Goddamn black shows dirt like a bastard.”

  Appalled at his language, I didn’t answer. The truck was indeed dirty from all the slush on the roads this morning. The weather forecast was calling for another six to ten inches by nightfall. I buckled myself in, glad that I wasn’t the one driving

  Lash started the truck, quickly backing up smoothly, turning around, and heading down the driveway. He was silent as he drove, not speaking. This was normal, as far as I knew. He’d acted standoffish every time I’d been around him, except for the night he’d tasted my blood. Even then, he hadn’t been very friendly. That was fine by me, though. I’d planned to ask Devlin about teleporting to Hayden from now on, so I could skip these fun drives with Lash.

  In any case, his silence gave me time to prepare my revelatory speech. I’d decided to tell Devlin about what happened with Theo and me during our shared dream. Danial would likely deduce the truth from me before I left him on Sunday. Before he made me break the news or told Devlin, it was better to break it myself. I’d spent the last six months keeping secrets. I wasn’t going to keep any more.

  * * * *

  As we drove in through Hayden’s gates and up the long driveway, I looked over again at Lash. In the entire drive, he hadn’t put on any music, or tried to talk to me at all. Not talking for a while was normal between strangers. Utter silence for a solid hour was not only unnatural, but oppressive.

  “Someone plowed,” I murmured. “I hope it wasn’t just for me.”

  “It wasn’t,” Lash hissed, parking in the garage. “Get out.”

  I got out, walking in front of him a few strides, then suddenly wheeled around to face him. Instead of startling him, he merely stepped back gracefully. His forked tongue flickered out, tasting the air.

  “I want you to search me,” I stammered out.

  Lash lifted one black eyebrow, but his expression didn’t change. “Search you how? And for what?”

  “However you usually would search someone. You clearly don’t trust me or like me. I can’t do anything about the latter, but I can do something about the former.”

  “Stand facing the wall, your hands touching it,” Lash hissed. “Then spread your legs,” he added lecherously, putting emphasis on the last words. Uneasy, I did as he asked, ruing my offer and bracing for a grope or two. He patted me down thoroughly, but didn’t touch me anywhere that wasn’t necessary.

  Lash stepped back as I turned around, then held his hand out to me. “Bag.”

  I handed him my duffel bag. He looked through it carefully, then he handed it back. There hadn’t been much inside; just a change of clothes, that sweater Devlin liked, and my prenat
al vitamins.

  “You want to look in my purse?” I asked.

  “No. Come with me,” Lash said. We went into the kitchen, then through the living room to the base of the stairs. He took my bag, setting it on the stairs with my purse.

  “Where is everybody?” I asked. “Is everyone on guard duty?”

  “The bears and I weren’t all down here for a damn horror movie,” he said, smiling at me widely. “Devlin said he was going to make you scream, and we all wanted to hear that. Word around was you love to scream—”

  “I hope you weren’t disappointed,” I said harshly, giving him a cold look.

  “Not at all,” Lash said, smiling wider. “You made him scream in a way we’d not heard before. You got a round of applause.”

  My mouth dropped open, my face flushing. Lash laughed, opened a door beneath the second story stairs, and began descending.

  Devlin had told me Titus’s workshop was down here in the basement. I expected a dank and dark dungeon, but this workshop was much like Terian’s. There were many bottles, all neatly stacked and labeled, and a huge shelf of books, some of them very old. Underneath was a large rack of scrolls, some of them yellowed, the edges crumbling.

  “Sarelle,” Titus said in a friendly deep bass, then held out his arms to hug me.

  “Hi, Titus,” I said warmly, quickly hugging him. He was almost too hot to touch; in a few moments of contact, I was sweating. “Are you blocking your, um, blackness? I don’t feel it very much today.”

  “You need to test her for poisons,” Lash interjected. “I’ll wait.”

  “Go tell Devlin she’ll be right up,” Titus said, glancing at him in dismissal. “After all, Terian has told me of her this week, it’s probably unnecessary, but I’ll do a thorough check. It’ll take a few minutes.”

  Lash nodded, then slid his flat eyes to me. “Sure, you volunteered to be searched. That doesn’t make me trust you, especially since your Cat’s desperate enough to try anything.” He turned from me without another word, and walked away, ascending the stairs. The basement door shut hard

  I looked at Titus, uncomfortable. “Do I need to get undressed?”

  “No.” Titus held open his hand, then said some words under his breath. His hand glowed white, and my skin all over my body began to tingle. Looking at my hands, my skin itself seemed to be glowing from within.

  “Answer, Sar, is there anything that you harbor that would harm Devlin?”

  My answer was supposed to be no. Cringe. “I’m not sure.”

  Titus dropped his hand, perplexed. “That wasn’t an answer I expected.”

  I put my hands on my hips, facing him accusingly. “And I didn’t expect to wake up and find that the sex I’d had with Theo in the dream had happened in real life.”

  Titus gave me a long look, then gave a great rumbling laugh. “Indeed, your bond with Theo was renewed.”

  “It’s not fucking funny,” I said viciously. “I’ve been upset over what to tell Devlin since I woke up. I wasn’t going to tell him, but I’m worried he’ll find out accidentally. I’m not good at keeping secrets from Danial, and I’m going to see him tomorrow—”

  Titus enfolded me into his arms. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry. Now you’re worried how Devlin’s going to take the news that you’re possibly pregnant by Theo.”

  “Yes.”

  He stepped back from me, and again raised his hand. “Do you intend any harm to Devlin?”

  “No,” I answered.

  Titus lowered his hand and nodded. “Follow me.”

  I followed him upstairs all the way to Devlin’s bedroom, the steps groaning under his weight. Titus knocked.

  Devlin’s rich voice, full of lust, called out “Send her in!”

  We walked in, and Titus shut the door behind us. Devlin was sitting in his bed dressed in some black loose pants and a loose black shirt, reading reports of some kind.

  “You look very casual,” I said, thinking he looked drop dead gorgeous, especially with the golden stubble covering his lower jaw. “Working in bed?”

  “I’ll shave, Love,” he purred, moving aside his papers. “I fed just before you came. I’ll probably do that from now on. I neither want to frighten you, nor sacrifice your health.” He glanced at Titus beside me. At once, his eyes narrowed, his friendly expression souring. “What did you find on her?”

  “Nothing,” Titus replied.

  “Then why not just send her up to me?” he said suspiciously. “Why are you here, Titus?”

  “I’m here to take any punishment you might visit on Sarelle,” Titus rumbled. “Theo and she had sex in life as they dreamed. Sarelle is afraid she is pregnant by him, and she could be, Devlin—”

  “God damn it!” Devlin screamed wrathfully, his eyes redder than I had ever seen them. “How could you have let this happen? I’ll flay the skin off you for this!”

  “Go ahead, Master,” Titus dared. He folded his arms across his chest, and faced Devlin, completely unfazed. “I’m not afraid of your petty torments.”

  Devlin screamed again in anguish and rage, his frustrated howl deafening. I shrank back against the wall.

  Devlin stared at me. He drew in a long slow breath, then let it out. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? If it was his and not mine?” he said bitterly, every word sharp enough to cut me. “You didn’t want my child, you only agreed because you were made to—”

  “That’s right!” I shot back. “I didn’t want any more children at all, neither yours nor his. This happened in a dream, Devlin. I didn’t do this on purpose.”

  Devlin closed his eyes. “That doesn’t matter. If you had a choice of whose baby to have, you’d choose him.”

  No, I’d choose Danial. “That’s not true.”

  “You want to flay me now or later?” Titus said mockingly.

  Devlin whipped around and glared at him. “You didn’t know this could happen? You had no idea? I don’t believe that, Titus!”

  “The dream they shared doesn’t have a lot of documentation on it,” Titus answered. “There isn’t anything written about having sex in the dream and having it in real life, too, while being unconscious.”

  “This ruins everything,” Devlin grated out. “You’ve put us all at risk with your mistake.”

  Titus let loose some of his blackness, making me shiver. “They love each other, Devlin. You can still have a child with Sar later, her having one with Theo won’t—”

  “She has to have mine!” Devlin yelled. “Not his!”

  “What the hell is going on in here?” Lash hissed loudly, opening the door. “Dev, I could hear you screaming from outside—”

  “I don’t give a damn!” Devlin said furiously. “It’s all gone to hell!”

  Lash looked at the three of us, then tilted his head just slightly. “The bitch is already knocked up with a kitten,” he hissed. He crossed the room and put his hand on Devlin’s shoulder. “You should know you can’t trust women by now.”

  Devlin shrugged off Lash’s hand. Unruffled, Lash put it back on his shoulder again. This time, Devlin left it there.

  Lash looked up at me, flat eyes gleaming. “Say the word, and he’s dead, Dev. Titus could teleport me in no time—”

  “No,” Devlin said hollowly. “He didn’t plan this, and neither did she. It’s not anyone’s fault, expect maybe mine, for agreeing to let Titus break him free of that love spell he was under—”

  “I would have done it regardless of your wishes,” Titus rumbled. “You know that.”

  Devlin looked at me, but his gold eyes seemed not to see me. “I should’ve made sure they dreamed apart. That, or had you sterilize him.” He rubbed his eyes.

  “We should do that in any case,” Lash hissed. “The world could do with less werecougars—”

  I had to soothe Devlin before he gave into Lash. “Look, I don’t know that Theo’s the father, or if I’m even I’m pregnant at all.”

  They all looked at me.

  “I freake
d out because I was a little nauseous in the bathroom at the place Theo, Elle, and I ate today. Given my life lately, that’s likely stress-related. ”

  “We need to know as soon as possible if it isn’t,” Devlin said quickly. He turned to Titus. “Can you do anything to tell me, one way or the other?”

  “Not without an invasive test,” Titus rumbled regretfully. “If she is pregnant, it might cause her to abort the baby.” He paused. “There isn’t a need for that anyway, Devlin. The fertility spell you administered to Sar almost ensures that by the time Theo and she dreamed together, she was already pregnant.”

  All the blood drained from my face. “What?”

  Titus looked at me with a faint smile. “The spell Danial used to become fertile again was a much less potent spell. Terian’s blood is only half demon and much weaker than mine. I’m an accomplished sorcerer.” He smiled widely, baring his rows of sharp teeth. “I don’t leave room for accidents.”

  “What fertility spell did you give me?” I whispered. “When?”

  “It was in your wine,” Titus replied. “And in Devlin’s, also, to ensure conception. The sooner you got pregnant, the sooner I could stop making daily potions for Devlin and get back to my real work.”

  Devlin had used those ornate glasses from his mantle when we’d returned to his room...and I’d trusted Titus when I shouldn’t have. “Neither of you said a word to me.”

  Devlin was also annoyed at Titus. “You let me think that it was possible he got her pregnant. Why?”

  Titus gave a great rumbling laugh. “I’m a demon. You’d think after all these years in your service, you’d know how much I enjoy seeing you lose your composure.”

  I glared at them for a moment, then strode into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I locked the door, then wiped at my filling eyes.

  Lash said something low in the other room, then laughed raucously. There was silence for a moment, then Devlin began talking in a low voice, his words muffled.

  I stripped off my clothes. I’d wanted to try the Jacuzzi. This was an opportune time as any. Maybe it would help me decide what to do now.

  I slipped into the steaming water, sinking my body in until the sweet hot heavenly sensation covered all of me except my head. I lay back against the jets, letting them massage my shoulder blades, and tried to think of absolutely nothing.