Dancing on Deansgate

by Freda Lightfoot

  ‘Well then, if he won’t agree to lend it, you’ll have to borrow it without his permission.’

  She frowned. ‘I don’t understand. How can I do that?’

  ‘By helping yourself to whatever’s in that fancy new till he bought, or in that safe he must have tucked away some place. I don’t actually care how you do it, or where you find it. Nick the family jewels if you must but get me some dosh. Right?’

  Leah could feel herself start to tremble. An uncomfortable thought was nudging the back of her mind, that this was the real reason he’d married her, to get his hands on her father’s money. Clifford Simmons was comfortable but not what anyone could call rich, and surely no one would do such a thing, not in this day and age. It seemed so incredible, that she almost laughed out loud. Hadn’t Harry been potty about her at one time, always pestering her to go out with him, wanting to make love to her?

  Leah did indeed give a little laugh, one that sounded unnatural even to her own ears. ‘You surely aren’t asking me to steal from my own parents?’

  ‘We don’t call it stealing, it’s just borrowing from the family like. Me and Bert did that all the time. Anyroad, your dad’s got that much brass he’ll never notice if a bit goes missing.’

  ‘Don’t be daft, of course he’ll notice.’

  ‘Hey, watch your lip. Who are you calling daft? Don’t you get uppity with me girl. You’re my wife now, and you’ll do as I say.’

  Leah was standing before him now, hands on hips, defiance in her blue eyes. ‘I’ll not steal from my own father, not even for you.’

  Before she had time to guess what he was about, let alone take evading action, Harry flung a back-hander at her in the form of a clenched fist and knocked her flying. As she hit the floor, he tipped up the table and sent the remains of his dinner, and all the newly purchased crockery bought as wedding presents by the few friends who had come to their wedding, crashing and smashing around her.

  Reaching down, he casually took hold of her arm and dragged her to her feet, then tossed her against the wall where she bounced like a cork before falling to her knees with a whimper. Even then he wasn’t done with her. He was actually beginning to quite enjoy himself, feeling the power in his own hands that had once resided in his father’s. It felt good not to be on the receiving end himself. Harry grasped the back of her neck with his fat, sausage-like fingers and pushed her face down into the remains of his dinner, now splattered all over the new rug she’d bought only the other week.

  ‘And when you’ve cleaned that lot up,’ he told her, giving her a little shake to make sure he had her attention, ‘You’d do well to count your blessings and remember that you promised to honour and obey. Remember that love. Obey! Tomorrow, when you go into work, you won’t be giving in your notice, you’ll be dipping your hand into all that lovely loot your pa has stashed away, and sharing it with your beloved husband. Right?’

  Without waiting for a reply, he picked up his trilby hat, and strolled out of the door, closing it softly behind him, to show there were no ill feelings.

  On this particular evening the canteen was down by the Brunswick Basin giving the dockers a bit of cheerful sustenance. Jess was on her usual sandwich duties in the kitchen when she was interrupted by Harriet. ‘There’s someone to see you.’

  Her heart leapt, beat painfully against her breast bone before plunging with dread. But it wasn’t Steve, as she’d expected and secretly hoped for, despite the fears she held over what she needed to say to him. It was Doug Morgan.

  He stood at the door, cap in hand, shuffling from one booted foot to the other and looking as shy and sheepish as ever. ‘Hello Jess. It’s me.’

  She smiled kindly at him, said she was glad to see him again, and instantly recalled the last occasion when he’d warned her off staying at the club. Well, she’d taken his advice, moved back in with Cora and hadn’t regretted it. She gave him a carefully edited version of her decision, adding that it helped considerably that Bernie wasn’t around and Harry had got married. ‘We’re almost civilised in Cumberland Street these days.’

  ‘Strange that he should go off like that, just when he’d set it all up.’

  Jess too found it surprising that Bernie could bear to abandon his precious new club to Harry and Bert but had no intention of discussing events of that night with Doug Morgan. There might, of course, be some other reason for the vanishing trick, such as someone pursuing Bernie for debt. He’d done that before today, according to Cora.

  ‘He’s gone away on a bit of business, thank goodness, but he’ll be back.’

  Jess knew that wherever he was he’d surely be engaged in some disreputable scheme or other. And the very idea of seeing again that mask of arrogant insolence, of recalling how that fleshy, moist mouth kissed her, made her want to throw up.

  Doug was saying, ‘I’m so glad that you’re back with your aunt. That club wasn’t a nice place for a young lady such as yourself to be in, what with all them young girls no better than they should be plying their trade.’

  ‘That was one of Uncle Bernie’s nasty schemes. It’s all very above board now that Harry and Bert are in charge.’ This might be rather an optimistic assessment of the situation, but one she fervently hoped to be true since Leah was now residing there. ‘It’s more convenient for me to be with Cora because I can help her around the house, and with the children. Mind you, it’s not perfect as you couldn’t ever claim Cora and Lizzie to be the best of friends. Quite difficult at times when Lizzie has been on the razzle and . . .’

  He interrupted her protracted explanation by blurting out, ‘I wondered if you’d had a change of heart about that date I once mentioned. If so, I wouldn’t mind taking you somewhere nice, wherever you’ve a mind to go.’

  He’d said it all in one breath, and Jess was filled with a rush of pity for him. She didn’t imagine that he had many friends, him being so quiet and shy, but he’d shown a very proper concern for her, even if she hadn’t welcomed his interference at the time. Recalling the resentment she’d felt, Jess was filled with guilt and without allowing herself a moment to think, accepted his invitation outright, saying that she’d very much like to go out with him. ‘Why not? It’s half day closing at the tea room on Thursday and I could do with a bit of cheering up.’

  Beaming from ear to ear Doug eagerly offered to pick her up from her home but the last thing Jess wanted was for Lizzie, or Cora for that matter, to catch a glimpse of him and start asking awkward questions. She suggested instead that they meet outside the tea room shortly after one o’clock, just as soon as the bakery closed.

  She became uncomfortably aware of Harriet and Ted’s combined gaze, both watching her and listening in to the conversation with open curiosity, clearly wondering what had gone wrong between her and Steve. She made no effort to explain, telling herself that since there was nothing of a romantic nature between herself and Doug Morgan, it was perfectly safe for her to go out with him.

  She smiled brightly, and happily agreed that a day out would be lovely.

  Leah had been edgy all day and now, as her father cashed up and prepared to close the shop for the day, she felt as if she might pass out at any moment, her nerves were in such a state. Would he notice that the amount of cash in the till didn’t match the written total? At least there were no visible signs of the beating Harry had given her. But then he’d made sure of that. Her father glanced up and caught her watching him and she felt her cheeks turn crimson beneath his probing gaze, quite sure he could see the scar of guilt on her soul.

  What on earth had possessed her to get involved in all of this? Even as she asked herself the question, Leah knew why. She was more afraid of her husband than she was of her father. She didn’t know who she was any more, no longer in control of her own life. She’d tell Harry tonight that this was the last time. No more. She’d had enough.

  ‘Off home now are you, love? Got something tasty for your old man’s supper?’

  ‘I thought I’d make liver and onions
tonight.’

  ‘With lots of mashed potato to soak up the gravy? Sounds delicious.’ Clifford Simmons grinned, considered his daughter thoughtfully for a moment then came over to rest his hands on her shoulders. ‘I’m sorry things turned out as they did. Your mother . . .’

  ‘I know Dad, it’s all right. I understand.’

  ‘You are happy, aren’t you?’

  ‘Of course, never more so.’

  ‘Because if you aren’t, if it was all a bad mistake, a bit of rebellion that’s gone wrong, you’ve only to say. I’d turn heaven and earth round for you, love. You do know that.’

  ‘I know it Dad. Don’t worry, everything’s fine.’

  No, it isn’t, screamed the voice in her head. But she couldn’t tell her parents that, couldn’t admit that they’d been right all along, and she’d been wrong. She’d been married for less than a month and they’d say she hadn’t given it a fair trial, that every marriage had its teething problems and went through sticky patches.

  She’d just have to hope and pray that she could work on Harry, try to undo the damage that his father had evidently done to him over the years.

  Cliff put his arms about his daughter and gave her a hug. ‘Good! I know you want your mother to approve of your choice, and I’m sure Harry Delaney is a grand lad, at heart. Give her time, she’ll come round.’

  He turned back to the till, scooped out a handful of notes, not troubling to count them as he shoved them into his pocket, although later in the evening, when he did the accounts for the day, would he then notice that there were two pound notes missing?

  ‘Drop the sneck on your way out, love. See you tomorrow.’ And dropping a kiss on her brow, he made his way wearily upstairs, tired after a long day’s work, leaving Leah to switch off the lights and let herself out.

  Doug took Jess to Belle Vue because there was a band concert on and he knew how much she liked music. Jess didn’t care where they went but was simply thankful that it wasn’t a dance. She couldn’t imagine being held in anyone’s arms but Steve’s.

  ‘It’s very kind of you.’

  ‘It’s not kind at all. It’s entirely selfish. I shall enjoy your company.’

  Doug wouldn’t hear of Jess paying for herself. He wouldn’t even tell her how much it cost. ‘Women aren’t allowed to pay, not by my book anyway. Men should protect women and look after them. This is a March for Freedom display,’ he told her. ‘I hope it’s the kind of music you like.’

  ‘I like all kinds. Anything I can tap my feet to anyway.’

  She had plenty of opportunity to tap her feet that afternoon as she listened, enthralled, to ten brass bands, fifteen service bands, and any number of choirs filling the sunny day with the richness of their voices. There were crowds of people watching, marching to the music, clapping and cheering and singing along with them whenever they knew the words. Jess began to feel better, the music soothing her as it always did. Afterwards, she couldn’t stop talking about it.

  ‘Didn’t you just love that band who played Fascinating Rhythm?’ or ‘What was that last piece of music played by Rochdale Town Band? It was so marvellous I must tell Ted about it.’

  ‘Who’s Ted? Is he your boyfriend?’

  Jess giggled. ‘No, I mean Sergeant Buxton at the mobile canteen. He gives me lessons in the trumpet, for which I’m endlessly grateful.’

  They had tea in the Japanese Tea Room and Jess politely thanked Doug for giving her such a wonderful afternoon. ‘To think I could have been sitting at home listening to Aunt Cora grumbling about her sciatica, Lizzie in one of her drunken moods, and Sandra making sniping remarks. How blissful to enjoy a whole afternoon away from the Delaney crew. But I mustn’t be too late home,’ she said, not wanting to run the risk of him thinking this date was anything special.

  ‘Why? Will your mother object and not allow me to take you out again?’

  ‘My mother doesn’t care what I do.’ Lord, he wanted to take her out again. Jess felt a beat of doubt about what she was getting into. She really must take care.

  Doug was regarding her with some seriousness. ‘You don’t sound as if you much care for your family?’

  ‘You could say that,’ Jess admitted with a short laugh. ‘No, that’s not quite fair. Cora is a dear friend, and the twins a delight but as for the rest – well, let’s say there’s ample room for improvement, particularly where my uncle is concerned. The longer he stays away, the better.’ She then recklessly admitted Bernie’s intention to utilise her charms to attract customers to the club. The expression on Doug’s face was one of utter shock. ‘I surely don’t look a likely candidate for giving servicemen a good time, isn’t that the parlance?’

  ‘My dear Jess, you must take great care to protect yourself.’

  She laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve no intention of doing anything so stupid.’

  ‘You must make sure, when he comes back, that he doesn’t force you into it. You should find somewhere safer to live, somewhere far away from his evil influence.’ His homely face brightened, making the thin planes of his cheeks grow pink and the pale, serious eyes appear almost animated for once. ‘You could stay at my house if you like. I’ve plenty of room.’

  Deeply embarrassed, Jess felt a nudge of alarm. She’d gone too far, told him too much, and all because of his sympathetic manner. Any minute now, she’d be spilling the beans about her pregnancy. As ever, she shut that particular problem out of her mind. ‘Enough of this morbid talk. So long as I’m back by six or seven o’clock, that’ll do fine. I need a bit of fun. Who doesn’t, these days? Let’s do something really mad and stupid.’

  They queued for a ride on the Caterpillar, and Jess was so startled when the canvas cover came over, plunging them into an eerie green darkness that she squealed in surprise.

  It was then that he stole a kiss. Out of nowhere he seemed to loom over her, pressing his mouth against hers. Jess was compelled to hold her breath for quite a long while before he took it away again. It left her with a prickling sensation around her mouth, due to the roughness on his chin. Not sure how to react and wary of giving any sign of encouragement, she made no comment, pretending it had been no more than a moment’s aberration on his part, a kindness because of her sudden fear. It proved to be the wrong approach for taking her silence as acquiescence, Doug put his arm round her and tried to kiss her again. As she tactfully attempted to evade capture, they bumped noses and she was the one to apologise. ‘Sorry, I’m not very good at this sort of thing.’

  ‘Sweet eighteen and never been kissed?’

  Jess giggled. ‘Hardly.’

  His long, thin face darkened, looking more serious than ever. ‘Was it that boyfriend you mentioned, who kissed you? Are you still seeing him?’

  ‘No, that’s over now.’ It seemed amazing that since she first met Doug that day at the mobile canteen when she’d pretended to have a boy-friend, she’d started seeing Steve, fallen in love with him and now lost him for ever. How cruel life was.

  ‘Good, I’m glad. I’m thirty-one. Does that bother you?’

  Jess suddenly wished she’d never started on this conversation. ‘Why should it bother me? It’s not important at all. I mean, if you don’t mind me being so young, why should I mind . . . oh!’

  ‘My being old?’ He gave a hollow sort of laugh and she was mortified by her own clumsiness. She’d meant to insist that there was nothing between them, so why should their age difference be an issue but somehow it had come out all wrong. Had she offended him?

  ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean . . . ‘

  ‘It’s of no consequence,’ but he’d turned away and quietly removed his arm, much to her relief.

  By the time they stepped down from their ride, a dance band was playing and Jess saw that open air dancing had started. A platform had recently been opened for that very purpose with fairy lights strung all around, and it looked so romantic that she felt a deep ache in her heart. If only it were Steve here beside her on this lovely, mellow September
evening.

  ‘I love dancing, don’t you?’ she dreamily remarked, still thinking of Steve. What could be more blissful than to lay her cheek against his, to close her eyes and give herself up to the wonder of being in his arms? He was the only man for her, the one she should be kissing in the green darkness of the caterpillar ride, yet never would. Oh my own darling, how will I survive without you?

  Doug said, ‘I don’t think a nice girl like you should be seen dancing in a place like this. Far too public.’

  She was startled. ‘Why? What’s wrong with dancing outside? It all seems perfectly respectable to me.’ Jess looked about her at laughing couples obviously enjoying themselves as they danced a quickstep to Little Brown Jug, at lovers kissing and cuddling under the guise of innocent dance steps. She felt annoyed by this dismissive remark, as if he were criticising her personally for enjoying dancing so much. ‘For goodness’ sake, it’s harmless enough. It certainly looks as if everyone here is having great fun.’

  Seeing his mistake, Doug hastened to rectify it. ‘If you’d like to dance Jess, I’d be happy to partner you.’

  Now she’d done it. How could she refuse after making such a fuss? ‘Well, all right, if you don’t mind,’ she said, rather testily, and followed him on to the dance floor, striving to appear normal and hide her reluctance.

  When he put his arms about her she made sure that she kept her distance, not at all as she would have danced with Steve, no cheek to cheek, no hand clenched tight against his heart, thigh pressing against thigh. This was utterly decorous and very proper. Even so, it felt uncomfortable, almost embarrassing. Entirely wrong! The rough fabric of his suit felt alien to her touch, even the unmistakable smell of tar and rope and the docks emanating from him made her feel strangely nauseous. She could feel his eyes on her face, was desperately searching her mind for something witty or amusing to say, something frothy to lighten the heavy atmosphere. And then as Doug spun her round in a clumsy manoeuvre, only just managing not to tread on her toes, that’s when she saw him.