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Hard Core Logo

Page 2

by Michael Turner


  Words and Music

  Son-of-a-Bitch to the Core

  SON-OF-A-BITCH TO THE CORE

  Well I dig no ditch for the capitalist

  I don’t give change to the poor

  When I throw a punch I never miss

  And I’ll boot your ass out the door

  I’ve got no ties to the police line

  The cops don’t bug me no more

  I’m a real bad ass with a bottle of wine

  Yes a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  Yes a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  So get off my back you business suit

  I’ll pay no tax to your recruits

  If you take me on you’re gonna lose

  ’cause I’m a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  Yes a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  I’ve got a girl named Eleanor Pearl

  She’s the daughter of my dead wife, Jane

  She’s got a grin and a great big curl

  But the rest of her looks pretty plain

  We go to church on Something and First

  Right next to the liquor store

  The minister says as a dad I’m the worst

  Just a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  Yes a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  When I get home I sit down alone

  ’cause Eleanor lives next door

  Everyone says that I’m bad to the bone

  That I’ll never get up off the floor

  Well what do I care if life ain’t fair

  If you look at me real sore

  I’ve paid my dues and you should, too

  As a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  Yes a son-of-a-bitch to the core

  THREE

  For Immediate Release

  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

  The Green World Coalition is pleased to present an all-acoustic reunion show by Vancouver’s own Hard Core Logo. The show will be held at the Arlington Cabaret on April 30 at 8:30 p.m. Tickets are fifteen dollars and will be available at the door. All proceeds will go towards the Green World Coalition’s recycling campaign. For more information please contact Laura Cromartie at 672-1963.

  COPY THAT DIDN’T MAKE

  THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT

  Finally, from the band that threatened to kill each other and change the world in the process. Surprise. Another reunion gig. Hard Core Logo will reunite for a one hour acoustic set on April 30 at the Arlington Cabaret. Profits will go to the Green World Coalition, a newly formed organization that aims to promote peace through recycling. Should be interesting.

  STAGE MANAGER/MASTER OF CEREMONIES

  You must be Joe Dick?

  My name is Rainbow Trout.

  I will be hosting the show tonight.

  Your dressing room is behind the stage.

  I’m sorry I couldn’t comply

  with your request for imported beer.

  None of the beer on your list

  was politically correct enough.

  I have, however, arranged for your band

  to be supplied with soy beer,

  compliments of the Nature’s Whey corporation.

  PIPEFITTER REMEMBERS

  I hate hippies, man.

  Everytime we’ve done a gig

  for hippies

  something bad happens.

  Remember the gig on Texada?

  Didn’t we get burned on that one?

  Didn’t we get paid in pot

  and busted as we drove off the ferry?

  CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?

  Put your lovin’ hands together

  and welcome Vancouver’s favorite

  bad boys of punk rock . . .

  . . . the once indomitable . . .

  . . . now un-top-able . . .

  . . . Hard . . . Key . . . Largooooh . . .

  ROCK ’N’ ROLL IS FAT AND UGLY

  Saturday night and I went downtown

  To see a rock ’n’ roll band at the Commodore

  I waited in line to pay ten bucks

  To see a shitty band from New York, New York

  Playin’ their hit from 1964

  Well everyone there weighed a thousand pounds

  And I was the youngest one in the crowd

  Women at the bar puttin’ on their make-up

  Well I don’t know what all the fuss is about

  But rock ’n’ roll is fat and ugly

  I talked to a guy in a black toupee

  He’s a rebel all night and a lawyer by day

  He went to the bar and bought me a beer

  He said, C’mon let’s drink! Ah, what do you say?

  If I was you I’d do the same

  And I talked to a woman from Florida

  She was married to the guy playing lead guitar

  She drove up north for her alimony

  And she brought her kids; they were out in the car

  Ah rock ’n’ roll is sad and lonely

  Hey little boy

  Hey little girl

  Do you wanna grow up

  In a world where rock ’n’ roll’s

  Misunderstanding?

  Well I couldn’t bear just another song

  Yah I tried to dance but the beat was wrong

  I took a walk to the other side of town

  And I ended up at an orphanage

  A light was on but there was no sound

  I went to the window and what did I see

  Two little children dancing cheek-to-cheek

  They carried the tune somewhere inside them

  Yah they didn’t need music for company

  Ah rock ’n’ roll should be so lucky

  GREETINGS FROM CENTER STAGE

  How the fuck are ya out there?!

  Y’all been stayin’ outta trouble?!

  Bullshit!

  I’ve seen you all on Robson Street,

  buyin’ expensive clothes

  at boutiques like Ralph Lauren.

  I’ve seen you in your bedrooms,

  gettin’ all dressed up

  for some Socred party fundraiser.

  And I’ve seen the way you think

  the poor are so fucking romantic,

  as you climb back in your limo

  after an evening at Les Mis.

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?

  WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

  Out for dinner at Chez Henri

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Rude to the waiter ’cause he looks like me

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Tip the valet to get your Rolls

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Take a hooker to Cypress Bowl

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Get back home at a quarter to ten

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Your wife and kids are all in bed

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Pour yourself a glass of port

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Pour yourself another quart

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Sleep all day ’cause you’re stinking rich

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Call your wife a fuckin’ bitch

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  Watch her leave ’cause she hates your guts

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  You thank her very, very much

  Who the hell do you think you are?

  PLUGGING THE RAILWAY CLUB

  This next song is the last song.

  It’s an old folk song

  and we’ve fucked with it

  to make it new again.

  It’s about that little club

  on Dunsmuir Street,

  where we all like to go to get tanked.


  A place where the working stiff

  can still afford to buy a drink.

  Anyone caught not singing along

  will get stomped by the drummer.

  I’VE BEEN DRINKING AT THE RAILWAY

  I’ve been drinking at the Railway

  All the live long day

  I’ve been drinking at the Railway

  Just to watch the Hard Cores play

  Can’t you hear the drinkers drinking

  Rickard’s Redder than your eye

  Can’t you hear the drinkers drinking

  ’til the day they die

  Have another beer

  Have another beer

  Have another beer or two or three

  Have another beer

  Have another beer

  Have another beer on me

  Someone’s in the kitchen with Billy

  Someone’s in the kitchen I know-oh-oh-oh

  Someone’s in the kitchen with Billy

  #&$! %#&$!* #&%*$! %#!&$!

  BILLY, AFTER EIGHT BEERS

  That wasn’t so bad. Kinda like playin’ round a campfire. All those young girls dancing. Kinda like nymphs in a forest. Didn’t feel so bad after seeing that.

  FOUR

  By Joe’s Calculations

  THE POST-SHOW INTERVIEW

  INTERVIEWER: Why did Hard Core Logo break up?

  JOE DICK: Because we didn’t get along anymore—musically speaking.

  I: Just musically?

  JD: Yah.

  I: Well, if you had musical differences why didn’t you go on to different musical projects?

  JD: Because we were sick of the music business. Next question.

  I: Well, why are you getting back together?

  JD: Because that’s what the people want. Look, we’ve made a few mistakes; but now we’re a fuck of a lot smarter, and we want the opportunity to go out and prove it. Plus it’s a whole new thing. We’re going acoustic. That’s the way the music was played in the thirties, when some of the best music was written. People like the Carter Family, the Almanac Singers, Leadbelly . . .

  I: Are these your current influences?

  JD: Yah. Particularly the politics of Woody Guthrie and Joe Hill.

  I: Who is Joe Hill?

  JD: Joe Hill was a member of the International Workers of the World. He was a musician and an organizer. A great man.

  I: I heard Joan Baez sing a song about Joe Hill on my parents’ Woodstock album. Is that the same Joe Hill?

  JD: Yah. He was framed for murder by the state of Utah. They executed him in Salt Lake City around 1915.

  I: What have you been doing since the break-up?

  JD: I’ve been watching a lot of TV.

  I: Anything in particular?

  JD: CNN. I’m a bit of a news junkie.

  I: You’ve written some new songs, too. Your set tonight had a new song I’ve never heard before, the one about Robert Satiacum.

  JD: Yah.

  I: Why did you write a song about Robert Satiacum?

  JD: Because I believe in him.

  I: Didn’t he do time for child molesting?

  JD: He was never convicted of child molesting.

  I: What is it that you believe in, then?

  JD: Robert Satiacum stood for Native Indian self-determination. I believe in that.

  I: Does this mean the new Hard Core Logo will be engaging in new political causes?

  JD: There is no new Hard Core Logo.

  I: Getting back to my first question. Last fall I read an interview in a Seattle magazine with Ed Festus, your old manager.

  JD: Ex-manager.

  I: Ex-manager. He said Hard Core Logo broke up because you and Billy fought all the time.

  JD: Yah. But like I said the differences were musical. Musical disputes are good for a band.

  I: Festus also said that you tried to kill Billy at a show in Toronto. Apparently Billy flushed something of yours down the toilet . . .

  JD: That’s not true. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We’ve always wrestled around and stuff and sometimes it gets heavy, but it isn’t. It never is. And it wasn’t about anything going down the toilet.

  I: Do you think the punk rock movement was/is male-dominated? Or more specifically, do you think that one of the things the punk rock movement never aspired to was the restructuring of the male-dominated music industry?

  JD: What?

  I: Do you think punk rock is a boys club?

  JD: No.

  I: Why?

  JD: Well, there were women around. Look at Nina Hagen or Wendy O. Williams. And Exene Cervenka from X.

  I: Is that it?

  JD: Well, I can’t think of anymore right now. It’s not like the women of punk rock are always on my mind.

  I: What about your old label, Gilt Lick Records? Gilt Lick was one of the bigger independent labels, like SST or Slash, and they had no women in decision-making positions. Moreover, none of the widely-promoted bands on their roster are/were led by women.

  JD: I don’t know if that’s true or what. Seems like most women artists who emerged in the late-seventies were sucked into the New Wave thing.

  I: That’s not necessarily true.

  JD: I know.

  I: Some of the local newspapers claimed that you guys sold out big time at the end, that your last year as a band was geared at making as much money as possible.

  JD: Yah, well, I guess they have to write about something.

  I: On paper it looks like you guys did sell out.

  JD: Look, we’d been getting burned for years by bootleggers and bad management. We’d been working for twelve years and none of us ever had a cent. The last year was supposed to provide us with enough to last us through the years before we’d get into something else, to make a living there.

  I: Didn’t that go against your ideals?

  JD: Like what?

  I: Like mounting three final tours of Canada? Like licensing a live album to a major label? Like . . .

  JD: I see nothing wrong with that. I mean, that’s what the people wanted.

  I: Yes, exactly. You started out with an ideal. You set out to spread the word, but you couldn’t control how people would interpret your message. And that message eventually became diluted proportionate to your growing following. So at the end of it you had thousands of fans with a hackneyed view of what you were all about. And where you sold out was when you began to pander to the hackneyed view that your fans created.

  JD: (shrugs) You do what you have to do, I guess.

  I: There are a lot of people who read the magazine I’m submitting this interview to who were too young to remember when Hard Core Logo was just another band from Vancouver. Could you describe your beginnings? Maybe your first gig or something?

  JD: Our first gig as Hard Core Logo was at the old American Hotel on Main Street. That was 1977. The place was full of bikers and transsexuals and drug addicts . . . and then we walk in with crew cuts, army boots and ripped t-shirts. Ha! Ha! Ha! We got the gig through a guy named Mace. His real name was something like Jerry Macy; but he adopted ‘Mace’ ’cause it made him sound tough even though he wasn’t. Anyway Mace was a friend of Billy’s older brother, and he offered us a hundred bucks to open for one of his Steppenwolf-like cover bands. So there we were, hangin’ by the backstage door ’cause we were under-aged and scared shitless. There was this huge biker sittin’ front-and-centre starin’ at us, punchin’ his fist into his open hand like this (Joe demonstrates). Looking back I think he was hired by Mace just to flip us out. Ha! Ha! Ha! We had twelve songs on our set list and we figured it would cover the forty-five minutes we were supposed to be playing. Anyway we burned through the set without a pause, figuring that if we stopped they’d have a chance to beat us up. We played so fast we finished the set in thirty minutes. Everyone was speechless. It was the first punk rock gig in Vancouver. Mace was standing by the side of the stage waving his arms, going, Keep playin’, keep playin’. But we didn’t have anymore songs.
Billy started into “Proud Mary” and we jammed on that ’til Mace had to literally drag us from the stage. The crowd was goin’ nuts. They loved it. And that biker from the front table! Man! He came backstage with amyl nitrates for everybody. Ha! Ha! Ha!

  I: What’s next for Hard Core Logo?

  JD: That’ll be up to the rest of the band.

  I: What do you mean by that?

  JD: I don’t know yet.

  RETRACTION OR TRACTION

  Joe Dick here.

  Listen, I did an interview

  with one of your reporters

  and I don’t want it printed.

  If I find that you or any other rag

  prints this interview,

  I’ll personally kick the shit

  out of your entire staff

  and sue your butts to the wall.

  CALLING THE AGENT DAVE

  Hey, Dave, how ya doin’?

  Joe Dick here from Hard Core Logo.

  Yah!

  Look, man, I’m gettin’ the band together.

  Gettin’ the itch back, ya know.

  Heh-heh.

  Anyway, I was thinkin’ maybe

  we could tour out west.

  Winnipeg and back.

  No. No. It’s a different thing.

  We’re going acoustic.

  I’ve been listening to old records.

  Learning songs like “Hold the Fort”

  and “New River Train,”

  but doin’ ’em hard and fast

  like the old days.

  Yah!

  So what do ya say?

  Nothin’?

  There’s got to be somethin’!

  Ah, c’mon, man,

  you’ve done well off us before.

  I mean, that’s got to be worth somethin’, right?

  Yah, but Dave . . .

  Dave . . .

  Dave, you’ve been doin’ what you’re doin’

  ’cause you did so well off us

  in the 1980s.

  Ah, c’mon, man, that’s fucked.

  Yah?!

  Yah?!

  Well, fuck you, too!

  BRUCE McROBERTS AND ASSOCIATES

  Bruce?

  Joe Dick here.

  Yah!

  Listen, I was wondering

  if you’d do agency

 

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