Swing State

by Michael T. Fournier

  Passed a little house. Barely big enough for two people to stand in. Java Express, it said. Drive-up coffee. Closed. No shit. Expensive. Snob coffee. Espresso. When he drank coffee, Dunkin’ Donuts every time. Only at night. Driving someplace, or back. Mostly Boston. Artie. Back from Sox games. Made him feel nervous. Some of the guys, they drank coffee before patrol. Peck. Long. Donaldson. College Boy. Gotta stay alert, Peck said. Have your senses heightened. He tried it. All he could see was his hands shaking. And the next morning was a headache. Not behind the eyes. Different. Top of his brain. Sharp.

  Trees. Woods.

  Streetlight down the road. Thought that’s where the garage is. Nice place like that would have its own light. Pay well. Let him work on a beater. Fix it up. Maybe on weekends, if there was downtime. Days off. Or he could wait. The walk wasn’t so bad. Did more walking every day, around the common, to the quarry. Leg getting stronger.

  The garage. No light yet. Too early. But it looked good. New. All brick. Not old stuff. Brick face. Supposed to look like a garage but nice also. Auto Emporium, it said.

  Went in. Same music as the unemployment office. “Land Down Under.” Lobby had leather chairs. Big TV. ESPN. Glass table. Magazines. Men’s Health, Newsweek. No one reading them. All on laptops. Tablets. Phones.

  Hello, I’ve just returned from overseas. Where I worked on engines. No, not right. Sounded weird. I worked on engines there. Better. I’m wondering if you have any openings. Close. Maybe job openings. I’m wondering if you have any job openings. That was it. Sounded good.

  Woman behind the counter. Old, kinda. Dyed hair. Smiled. Are you here to pick up?

  What?

  Your car?

  Oh. Uh, no. I, uh. I’m wondering if you need help.

  Damnit. Stupid.

  Uh, if you have any job openings.

  Did you see the ad?

  Act like you did. That means they’re hiring.

  I did.

  Great. Hang on a sec.

  She disappeared.

  Holy shit. Good luck. Timing. Whatever. A job. Save money. Get a better place. Someplace warmer.

  But wait. No guarantee. Don’t get too excited. Might not happen. Probably won’t.

  She came back. Pad in her hand. Pink. Applications.

  Here you go, hon. Do you need a pen?

  Yes.

  She nodded her head. Mug of them on the counter.

  Thanks, he said. Be right back.

  Leather chair. Sat. Started application.

  Work experience.

  Infantry, he wrote. Division and unit. Then: mechanical repair. Specialty: engines. He put his high school job at the mill, too.

  At the counter, the woman still there.

  All finished, hon?

  Yes. I’ve been having a hard time finding work. Since I got back. From Afghanistan.

  You were over there?

  He nodded. Yes, ma’am. But I repaired engines.

  What kinds?

  Diesel. Domestic. Foreign.

  She nodded. Some of our guys are going to the new place. We’re opening another Auto Emporium in Wilburton. So this might be some easy stuff for you. Oil changes, mufflers. Inspections.

  It’s tough, he said. You know. Finding work.

  I know, hon. Thanks for filling this out. I’ll make sure Ahmed gets it. He’s the owner.

  Okay, thanks.

  He’s going to take applications and do calls. Hopefully you’ll get one. He likes vets. Believes in what you’re doing over there.

  Good.

  If you don’t hear back in a week or so, call. Or come by.

  What’s your name?

  Doris.

  Okay, he said. Doris. Are you in the phone book?

  Hang on, she said. Bent behind the counter. Stood up. Here’s a card.

  Doris Martineau, it said. Business manager, Auto Emporium.

  Give me a call. She looked at the application. Royal?

  Roy.

  She took a pen and wrote “Roy” at the top.

  Roy. No guarantees. But we’ll do what we can. Sound good?

  Yes, ma’am. Thank you.

  One last thing. Where did you see the ad?

  If I say the Internet that sounds safe. Unless they don’t use it. They must. No one uses newspapers.

  I can’t remember where.

  We’ve got a lot of ads out.

  Sorry.

  She laughed. Sounded like a dog barking. That’s okay, hon. Anyway, you have a great day, ’kay?

  I will, he said. Thank you.

  Door rang as he left. Went good. Really good. Even though he screwed up the beginning. That question. Picking up. Thought she was talking about weed. Artie. Always saying “I’ve got to pick up a pizza” on the phone instead of weed. Safer that way. Code. In case people were listening. Never know who’s on the other end, he said. Tripped him up. But she was nice. Seemed to like him. Wrote his name on the top of the application. That was good.

  Song in his head. Must’ve heard it in the office. Or the garage. “I Saw the Sign.”

  17.

  TODAY MOM WAS HOME AFTER SCHOOL.

  She said Dixon, we need to talk.

  I was like oh no.

  Was it the bike? The iPad? The fireworks? School? Mary?

  Did she find this thing and listen to it?

  She said Don is being redeployed.

  I put my head down because I felt myself smiling.

  She said I know. It’s hard. But we’ll have to get by.

  Once I stopped smiling so much I asked when. She said six weeks. He won’t be able to see your brother play if they make it to the finals.

  I can’t believe it.

  I still wanna leave, but this is good. If I get drunk again he won’t give me shit if I puke.

  At first I thought maybe he’ll get shot. But if he did Mom would just find another guy. He’s not the worst one.

  I asked for how long. She said she didn’t know yet.

  Then I asked if there would be a party or something before he left. She said no, he doesn’t want anything like that. Just to go to games. Then she said did he talk to you about that? I said yeah.

  The bruise has been changing color. Now it’s this weird blue. Maybe I would’ve showed it to her if she didn’t tell me about him going back. I don’t know. Probably not.

  She said what were you thinking? and I said I don’t know, I was just having fun. She said you made a fool of yourself. I was like I know, but I’ll never do it again. And I won’t. At least until he leaves.

  She did the whole thing about hurting Ross’s chances and Nebraska and all the stuff Don said and I was like okay, I know, and she stopped. Thank God. I thought she was gonna say I had a problem and blah blah blah.

  Then she went I almost forgot to tell you. You got a message while you were at school. Someone from a burger place. I said Gary? And she said do you know him? I told her I was applying for jobs. She said well, that’s good. What for? I shrugged and said something about helping out and she said well, that’s great. When your brother is in school things will be a little easier. Until then I think a little extra money will be a big help.

  I called the number she wrote down and asked for Gary. He said can you come over tomorrow for an interview? I said I could. After school.

  * * *

  Maybe I shoulda kept some of that stuff. Like the iPad. That thing seemed pretty cool. But I don’t even have a phone. Don would see it and know. And I don’t want him pissed off. Especially now.

  * * *

  At school today Merrill gave a test. Of course I didn’t read the book.

  I thought about Don being pissed off before he leaves. So I went to Merrill after class and told him my mom’s boyfriend is being redeployed and things are rough at home. He looked surprised when I came over to talk to him. He said well, it’s good to know. And what can I do to help? I told him I wanted to get back on track. He asked if I had been doing the reading and I said not really. He told me to get caug
ht up and I could take the test again. Then he asked if I have the book. I do. It’s in my locker somewhere.

  * * *

  I talked to Trombley, too. Same story. He gave me some worksheets and said if you can do all the problems here you should do well on the tests.

  I just need to keep them all off my back until Don leaves.

  I need to find my books. They’re in my locker someplace. Unless someone stole them. Which I doubt. Who’d want to steal a bunch of books?

  * * *

  Gary says I can start as soon as possible. I’m doing weekends, so I have to miss games. I think this week is away. I don’t know if those guys go. Probably. It’s against Enoch. I bet they drive there. I’ll ask Mary. If I don’t get to see her this weekend maybe we can go back up to the hearse next week. I hope so.

  I start at training wage, then minimum wage. He said I’d get raises based on my performance.

  It’s a bunch of guys working there. The only lady is old. Like grandma old.

  * * *

  I started reading that book. It’s weird. It doesn’t start at the beginning.

  * * *

  Don came in when I was reading. He said what are you doing? and I said school stuff. I should’ve closed my door like usual. He came in and sat next to me on my bed. I was like what the hell is this?

  He said whatcha reading? and I said a book for school. He said that’s about war. I was like yeah. He said I’m getting redeployed, you know, and I said yeah, Mom told me. He said it’s getting dangerous over there. I said well, be careful.

  I got up and went to my bag and pretended to look for something. I put all the books and stuff in there after school, which was stupid, because I had to carry them all the way to Burger Hut. I could feel his eyes on me.

  Then the front door opened. Mom.

  He got up and went to talk to her. And shut the door behind him.

  * * *

  The grandmother lady showed me around Burger Hut all day. Judy, her name is. She’s nice. And she swears like a rapper.

  There’s a fry station, which I’m going to work a lot at first, and grill, and sandwich, and the register, and two drive-through windows. One takes the money and one delivers the food. She says working delivery is best. You don’t have to talk to so many people and it’s not hot.

  I asked her how long she’s been working here and she said two years.

  Everything’s on a buzzer. She said after a while I’ll hear it in my sleep. It tells you when to stop and start. We did fries for a while, then orders. It’s not hard. Just fast. She said everyone should get their food in three minutes. Sometimes the company gives awards for being the fastest. She won everything, so she almost didn’t get to be assistant manager. She started laughing and said don’t get too good at what you do, honey, because you might get stuck doing it forever. When she laughs she sounds like she’s gonna hack up a lung.

  It’s weird. There’s her and these old guys Jack and Herbert. They’re like grandpas. Then there’s people my age. I don’t know any of them except this one guy, Dalton, and I don’t really know him. I just recognize him from school. He’s one of like three black guys in town. He looks like he’s gonna hit his head on something, he’s so tall. He plays basketball. Then there’s this short fat kid I’ve seen around before. He doesn’t hang out with the geeks, but he still kinda looks scared every time I get near him, so maybe he does hang out with them or I stole his lunch money or something. Or maybe he was there that time I crashed a fat kid convention, hahaha.

  It goes by quick. Judy said it’s not bad except for working cashier. I’ll have to train there next. She said most people who eat at the Burger Hut don’t know what they want and have lots of questions even though they get lunch there every day. I got this big packet of menu descriptions I have to study to learn all the ingredients, so that should help.

  We all take turns on the stations, I guess. She said some people like cashier, like Paul. He might trade sections, as long as Gary isn’t there. She told me Gary mostly works nights.

  * * *

  In class Merrill was explaining the title of the book. The only way to get out of the trap is to stay in the trap. Catch-22. I said like living in a town where the only way to get out is to save a bunch of money but the only way to get money is to work a job you can’t leave that doesn’t pay. He kinda looked surprised but nodded and said very good, Dixon.

  * * *

  I saw Mary after school. She asked if I wanted to hang out this weekend. Big game at Enoch. We like to go and make noise. And you’re so funny at games.

  I told her I couldn’t go.

  She looked all sad and said why not?

  I told her I had to train at the Burger Hut.

  She laughed.

  I was like what? and she said I can’t believe you decided to work there. I said well, I did. I need money if I’m gonna move out. She said so, do you wanna hang out next weekend? I said any day I have off and she smiled and said okay, find me after class and tell me.

  Then she said maybe next weekend.

  I was like I think I’ll have to work, and she started laughing again and said there’s a reason why it’s all boys and old people who work there. Even I know, and I’m new. Wait and see.

  * * *

  After school Mom was home. So were Don and Ross. We had to clean the house. Recruiters are coming. Don said Alabama and Oklahoma. Ross didn’t seem like he cared that much. He says those schools are too hot. Don was like you have to get all your ducks in a row in case something doesn’t work out.

  Mom said she wanted me around but I said I couldn’t. Don said what are you talking about? and I was like I’m training at Burger Hut. Ross started laughing at me and I was like shut up. Don said don’t talk to your brother like that and I said he was laughing at me. It went back and forth and then Mom said that’s enough. Then she said she was happy everything worked out with the job. Ross was all good luck and I was like what do you mean? Ross said that guy is a perv. Don got all red and said I have known Gary Stites for years. He’s a good man. Ross said yeah, a good man who messes around with his staff. Don said that’s not true and Ross started laughing. Don didn’t tell him to shut up. Neither did Mom. She just said you’ll miss dinner. We might go out with the recruiters. To the Cowboy or someplace like that. Ross said maybe we’ll swing by the Hut and get a few Downtown Deluxes. I said don’t be a dick and of course Don was like don’t talk to your brother like that, again. So I was all whatever, Don, and left.

  It was too dark to go anywhere but the L’il Bee. There wasn’t anyone I knew around. I was hoping Mary would be there. I should ask where she lives.

  I keep thinking about what she said at school. And Ross. About that guy being a perv. I don’t give a shit. I wanna save some money. Get out of here.

  18.

  BIKING WAS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT ZACHARIAH STILL thought of it as the best way to lose weight. And riding his bike made him feel bold; he knew, despite his size, that he was still faster on two wheels than anyone was on foot.

  He went on the Patch Bike Challenge.

  The kids at soccer practice had talked about the place in the woods where the older, high school types went to drink beer and smoke cigarettes and make out: no middle schoolers allowed. Sal the goalie knew a kid who had a brother whose friend had been beaten up by kids who hung out there; Sal’s friend’s brother’s friend simply dared to walk the trails behind the L’il Bee and had landed in the hospital with a broken arm.

  Yet the Patch was magnetic despite its potential dangers. For one, there was an abandoned hearse out there. Zachariah had heard about it for years. He was pleased to discover, after his initial visit, that it lived up to its lofty reputation. Layers of graffiti which struck him as archeological in nature, applied and reapplied by generations of high schoolers, giant spouting penises among the more specific messages boasting JOHN G. CRUSHED BEERS and TOM BLEW A WAD HERE 7/98 and MARIANNE GIVES GREAT HEAD and, simply, PUSSY. It was fascinating stuff—evidence
that the hearse, with its patina of broken glass and bottle caps, rusty springs bursting from tears in the seats, which looked and felt like real leather, had been an institution for years. Zachariah wanted to ask his dad about it—how it had gotten there, and when—but feared doing so would incur a beating, reminding Paul Tietz of the good times he’d had prior to Zachariah’s accidental arrival, or, alternately, some ill-fated visit. He didn’t know who else he could ask and hadn’t found any information about it online.

  There were the quarries out there, too. On his initial visit he heard them well in advance of seeing them—the echoes of splashes and yells hit him even before his arrival at the long, steady hill leading to the path spilling onto the spray-painted granite rim. He had been spooked by the sounds and stopped his ascent. Stupid. The only way to get to the top on his bike was with a full head of steam.

  His next visit was quiet. No jumpers. Nobody at all. He could explore.

  At the far end of the quarry, near a stubby granite jut named Cock, was a path. He walked it with his bike, winding past unrecognizable tall plants.

  With each passing minute, Zachariah wondered if he was on a path to nowhere. At some point he’d have to turn around. He didn’t want to get stuck in the woods after dark.

  Then he saw a ring of unfinished houses in the distance.

  This was the Mayers Road development, he knew—the boundary his father had set for his biking, past the trailer park. He remembered his dad talking about a rich developer—Paul called him a Masshole—thinking that nice houses would be a fine addition to Armbrister. The Masshole poured foundations and began construction on twenty-three houses.

  Construction stopped after one mill closed and another laid off half of its employees. Paul had been nervous throughout, which meant he’d been drinking more, which in turn meant that Zachariah had been hit more. The layoffs coincided with soccer season, so Zachariah had told his father about fictional practices. He feared the lies would come back to haunt him—that Paul might call the coach, or bump into Jim’s parents—but nothing, thankfully, had come of them.

  His dad, job eventually secured, laughed at the developer’s stupidity.

  “There’s not enough money in this town,” he said one night over dinner, “for some Masshole to make a bunch off of us. Or to move in more of those Massholes.”